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i shouldnt have an opinion because i know more about the situation than onlookers?
That's one way of putting it. Another is to say that your opinion is obviously biased, and probably not the best place to look for things like, y'know, facts.
I'm with Petey on this one: it's apparent that your situation makes it difficult, if not impossible, for you to approach the issue objectively, and your obvious anger is, in fact, causing you to make a number of factual errors.
I sympathize with you, I really do. I have two kids whom I love more than life itself—and I recognize how privileged I am that my job (freelance writer) allows me to be a full-time stay-at-home dad. And I'd be gutted if circumstances parted me from them.
Now, in a difficult and dispiriting situation like yours, it must be very tempting to succumb to paranoia—to believe that the system is set up to screw you. It must be a relief, in a sense, to know that it's not your fault—it's The System. Self-pity is a perverse sort of comfort.
But hear this. Relying on falsehoods, half-truths, and paranoid conspiracy theories does not bolster your case: If anything, it weakens it, making it difficult to take your complaints seriously. And that does a disservice not just to divorced dads in custody fights, but to all dads, everywhere, including lifers like me. Better, I think, to face the realities of your situation and deal with them honestly, rather than battling straw men.
So where do we begin sorting out the self-protective illusions of your worldview from the harsh truths of our shared reality? How about with "the myth that men make more than women for the same job"?
Let's look at an article from CBS News—hardly a stronghold of radical feminism. We've got studies showing woman making 76 cents on the dollar in the same job—and even when studies factor in variables such as children, they still find that women earn at least 20 cents less than men.
Now, you can argue, as this guy does, that such disparities are not necessarily the result of institutional sexism—that factors such as seniority and merit may account for much of the wage gap. And that's true, as far as it goes. But economics does not operate in a social vacuum. The numbers are overwhelming, and go across the board, from blue-collar grunt work to high-powered, high-paying professional jobs:
Female Neurosurgeons = $337,031 (median annual salary)
Male Neurosurgeons = $487,000
Female Civil Engineers = $61,000
Male Civil Engineers = $78,000
You'll also note that, in groping for causes for the gender wage gap, Mr. Wessel immediately starts blaming the victim—"Women make less money than men because they keep their kids home from school even when the kids aren't really that sick!" A sure sign of a weak argument, that.
(I have no evidence, of course, but I'll bet you a shiny nickel that if the woman in question did send her runny-eyed kid to school, Mr. Wessel would—privately, at least—have a thing or two to say about her fitness as a parent. Guys are funny that way.)
You can call it a "myth" if you want, Sunshine, but there's a mountain of circumstantial evidence you'll need to overcome before I'm convinced.
That holds for all the rest of it, too, I'm afraid—but that's for another post. |
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