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Text Adventure Game Emulator #1

 
  

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Regrettable Juvenilia
21:25 / 16.12.07
You walk over to the P WN SHOP and try the door, but it seems to be locked. You notice there is a post-it note stuck to the door, on which has been written the words:

back in 1 hour
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
05:22 / 17.12.07
Force entry.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
09:33 / 17.12.07
Into where? The P WN SHOP?

Try as you might, you cannot.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
09:53 / 17.12.07
West. North.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:12 / 17.12.07
Crossing the square West and then North takes you to the entrance of - and then, what the hell, on into - the Dancing Bear Inn.

You are standing in a lushly carpeted lobby area. There are doors to the West and East. Signs indicate that the door to the West leads into the Bar, while the door to the East leads into the Restaurant. Music reminiscent of the great girl groups of the early 1960s can be heard off to the West.

To the North, a small set of steps leads up to the Inn’s Reception desk.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
00:30 / 18.12.07
Check time.

Enter bar, in an attempt to collect thoughts. Order a beer.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
08:45 / 18.12.07
You check the time on Robert's watch, which seems not to have been affected by your dip in the ocean. It is almost exactly noon.

You enter the Bar.

It is a dimly lit but classy little place, furnished in dark hues, with curtains pulled shut over the windows to keep out the mid-day sunshine. There are several round tables with chairs set out in cabaret style. On each table is an unlit candle.

To the North-West is a stage. On the stage, a woman in a polka-dot dress with an enormous beehive hairdo is rehearsing a song. Her delivery is erratic but compelling. You catch the lyrics:

"He couldn't stand to hear me say
That I had been with someone new
And when I told him I had been untrue..."


To the North-East is the bar itself. Behind the bar, a powerfully built yet urbane man in a blue polo shirt is drying a shot glass. You approach him and order your second beer of the day. He nods silently, puts the glass he just dried up on a shelf, slings his towel over his shoulder, gets down a pint glass and starts to pour your drink.

The bartender places a coaster in front of you and carefully sets down on it your perfectly poured pint. You thank him and he tilts his head slightly in acknowledgement. He peers down at you through his reading glasses, and in a calm and low yet implicitly authoritative voice, asks:

"You got the package?"
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
15:36 / 18.12.07
Hold up package and waggle it around a little, while making an "Are you stupid?" face. Then say, "Do you have something for me?"
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
16:27 / 18.12.07
This goes down about as well as can be expected.

The bartender removes his glasses with one hand, and with the other hand pinches the bridge of his nose between forefinger and thumb, as if he were suffering an acute migraine. Replacing his glasses, he reaches over with lightning speed, grabs the package out of your hand and slams it down onto the bar.

Still leaning forward over the bar, he says, in an even lower and calmer yet somehow threatening tone:

"Motherfucker let's you and me get two things clear. First of all, payment will be forthcoming once the package has been inspected, if and when - and pay attention to that if, 'cos that's a big motherfuckin' conditional clause right there - I find everything to be in order. Secondly, please do not be mistaken about the chain of command in this here informal business arrangement. I work for the man who gave you that package. You work for the man who gave you that package. But I do not work for you, you understand me?"
 
 
Alex's Grandma
21:40 / 18.12.07
Point out that it isn't five o'clock yet.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:23 / 19.12.07
"That supposed to be funny? You here now."

He takes the package and puts in under one arm.

"Enjoy your drink. I'm gonna go examine the package now. Everything in order: I come back, you still here, you get paid. Everything not in order? I come back, you better not still be here... and even if you ain't, well... It's just a matter of time."

He opens a door behind the bar and goes through it, closing it after him. You hear several bolts sliding shut.
 
 
lille christina
12:50 / 19.12.07
light the candles on each table and then head for the reception desk.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:16 / 19.12.07
You have nothing with which to light the candles.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
17:53 / 19.12.07
Give up on candles. Before heading for reception, leave the coin which should have been in the package on the bar, while reflecting on the madness of trying to steal it in the first place.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
05:00 / 20.12.07
Change mind. Retrieve coin. Go East. Go North.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:41 / 20.12.07
You place the large brass coin you took from the package on the bar. Maybe when the bartender comes back and sees it there, he'll just forgive you immediately for fucking up his package, and render payment in full.

What were you thinking in the first place, you wonder, fucking with the package like that? It's as if you were possessed of some near-suicidal impulse: several times since you woke up in that clearing, it has been as if a voice, either wilfully self-destructive or just hopelessly reckless and stupid, had whispered in your ear and instructed you to act in such a way that would very obviously endanger your person.

No sense in worrying about that now, though, as the Imp of the Perverse has possessed you again! You snatch the brass coin off the bar and exit the Bar to the East.

You walk North, up the small set of steps that leads to the Inn’s Reception desk.

You are in the Reception area of the Dancing Bear Inn. To the North-West, there is a lift to take guests up to their rooms. Directly West is a door out to a small garden. The wall to the East has a couch in front of it, and next to the couch is a board advertising the hotel's current rates. Above the couch is a a mural of a white horse riding through some clouds.

Immediately in front of you is a desk. On the desk is a small stuffed toy bear wearing a plastic sandwich board. On the board is written:

Back soon... 'Bear' with us!

Also on the desk is an envelope. The envelope is labeled '23'.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
11:07 / 20.12.07
Take envelope, open it and examine contents. Reflect on the fact that any minute now the bartender will probably charge into here and jump up and down on me like a polar bear playing Dance Dance Revolution.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:32 / 20.12.07
You take the envelope, open it, and take out what is inside. It is a key with a fob bearing the number 23. It has a piece of seaweed stuck to it.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:43 / 20.12.07
You reflect on the fact that any minute now the bartender will probably charge into here and jump up and down on you like a polar bear playing Dance Dance Revolution.

It's a sobering image. Not that you're drunk - after all, you left a full pint of beer on the bar without taking a sip.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
12:06 / 20.12.07
Go West.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
12:07 / 20.12.07
NW.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
14:30 / 20.12.07
You walk West and find yourself in a small paved Garden, which only really deserves its name by virtue of having several potted plants dotted around the edges. It is surrounded on four sides by the walls of the Inn. There is an outdoor table and a couple of benches. On the table is an ashtray.

The air is fresh, but surprisingly cold. You look up to see that the sky has turned grey and cloudy.

The only exit is back East.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:27 / 20.12.07
E.
NW.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
15:34 / 20.12.07
You re-enter the Reception area and walk North-West so you are standing in front of the lift doors. There is a button next to the lift.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
00:55 / 21.12.07
Press the button, while reflecting on the bittersweet memories of the last time self was in in the Dancing Bear. There's been a lot of water under the bridge since then! A lot of it in self's lungs! It's all a bit hazy ...
 
 
Alex's Grandma
08:55 / 21.12.07
While waiting, hum 'Bittersweet Symphony', by the Verve, to self - what a tune! What a video!

Those people deserved to be pushed out the way.

Consider, though, the arguably disastrous effects said video might have had on the leader of a small country to the North of wherever self is now, with similar ideas about the importance of conviction, and staying focused on the goal, however unclear that, increasingly, might have become.

Basically, wonder, to self, if the example Dicky Ashcroft set mightn't have been directly responsible for the invasion of Iraq?

Also, see about asking someone for a cigar.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:45 / 21.12.07
You call the lift. Machinery hums into life behind the lift doors as the lift begins to descend from the second floor.

"Dum-da-da-da dum-dum-dum, dum-dum-dum, dum-dum-dum!"

...is all you manage to hum of 'Bittersweet Symphony', before you hear:

'PING!'

…and the lift arrives at the ground floor. The lift doors slide open.

Inside the lift is a man in an ill-fitting bellhop’s uniform. He is a good twenty years or so older than the previous bellhop, but his skin, while darker in tone, has the same waxy look and greyish tinge. He has a ratty little beard and mustache, and several open sores on his face. He fidgets and twitches constantly, and frequently scratches himself. His fingernails are dirty and bitten down to the quick. His eyes have a well-meaning but guilty expression.

He nods a sheepish greeting.

"I don't suppose you happen to have a cigar?", you ask.

The man takes off his bellhop hat to reveal ratty, receding hair, and folds his hat in his hands nervously, shifting from foot to foot.

"I'm 'fraid not, sir… I 'preciate how a person such as y’self could want a fine Cuban cigar on a day like today, but I ain’t have no such thing."
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
13:27 / 21.12.07
Ask to go to the second floor. Also ask if he knows where Club Twart is.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
13:36 / 21.12.07
Mention that self has been through some hard times recently, as well. Even though self might seem 'middle class' to some people. Self is not bourgeois though, so, offer to buy the man a beer, or anything else he'd like, once his shift is over.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
11:00 / 25.12.07
Inventory.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
19:50 / 31.12.07
Hum 'Do They Know It's Christmas' sadly to self.

Think about the goat that might have been sponsored, had things gone differently.

Wish self a happy New Year.

'It will be okay ... It has to be ...'
 
 
Tsuga
20:17 / 31.12.07
Check pulse.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
02:52 / 01.01.08
Think about Chris Evans.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
21:23 / 01.01.08
Wait patiently.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
03:25 / 06.01.08
While accepting that Teh Computer has, perhaps, got better things to do than attend to hir lost children these days - maybe Teh Computer is too busy clawing hir way up the ladder of the world of e-business, say, or the CIA - nevertheless, punch self repeatedly in the nose until there's enough red pouring for self to write;

'WHY HAVE U ABANDON THE DREAMER?' on the nearest available surface.

Add;

'TOM ...'?
 
  

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