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The Apprentice

 
  

Page: 1234(5)6

 
 
Spaniel
09:59 / 22.04.05
I think you just stretched about a mile, but I suppose anything's possible.

Spider, you stopped watching before the end, when you were sure one of the guys would go? Are you mad? I mean, okay, I too was certain the guys were fucked, but I wanted to see the end because Paul and Tim are far from equivalent in my mind: Paul's an enormous berk and Tim's alright; Paul's been a star of the show, Tim hasn't.
 
 
Hattie's Kitchen
13:32 / 22.04.05
I love Saira and I want to have her babies.

"Show them your yoghurt, James...wobble it to the camera...shake your thick creamy yoghurt...shake it James...NOW PUT YOUR FINGER IN!!"

Gutted to see Miriam go, and annoyed at Siralan's pathetic excuse for getting rid of her, although it was becoming increasingly obvious that she was way too brainy and and professional to end up working at Amstrad. That fucking little toerag Paul needs smothering to death, preferably with a Wolf Spirit jacket. Misogynistic arrogant wanksplash. Grr.
 
 
Peach Pie
14:18 / 22.04.05
four of them are currently working for Sugar Ape Inc but as yet, no one has actually been given the promised job and salary

Bill - it would seem to take the climactic edge off the finale.... but did you see the telephone appeal at the end of the show? People are being invited to form a studio audience for the grand announcement of the winner.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
22:01 / 23.04.05
Last week I decided that Sir Alan Sugar was mad. Now I think that he's a complete twat. He fired Miriam for no discernable reason, basically he must just not like her. Logic suggests that Saira is going to win because she doesn't have a website and James and Paul do. I don't think Tim's going to win because Sir Alan only likes to shaft nice people. I bow down to Ganesh, I think his prediction is most probably right.
 
 
Triplets
22:27 / 23.04.05

Oh God, Saira, she makes me want to go smelt myself a brand new throat-hammer. I'm suprised the bloke (the stocky, non-twat guy) she was working with didn't rip his earpiece live just to get away FROM THE SHOU-TI-NESS AN-D OV-ER PRO-NUN-CI-AY-SHUN.

Paul says "If I was Sir Alan I'd still masturbate over dead prostitutes"

I'll disappointed if Ganesh HASN'T put down good money on Saira to win.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
00:23 / 24.04.05
I actually had to mute the TV while she was producing James' spot.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
08:47 / 24.04.05
Next week they compete, the remnant four, against one another as individuals for the first time. Guardian says "it just gets better". ho ho ho

As for firing Miriam, I thought Sir Al's grounds were quite straightforward. Paul and Tim fucked up the crucial factor of product choice because they were trying to be weasels, denying Saira what she wanted, rather than exercising sensible positive choices. They could have had the wolf spirit jacket, after all (best seller of the day!)

And Paul and Tim fucked up the job of directing Miriam in the studio. She barely needed their direction and turned in a starry performance but such direction as they gave was rubbish. Sir Al seemed clearly to blame the team leader for her lack of direction in these crucial elements of the task. So, nice woman, but byeeeee. I could see the logic in that. Big Al is dispassionate and businesslike enough to be able to make a logical decision, even now, and not just punch Paul's lights out instead.

It's increasingly apparent to me that the virtual psychopathy that will cause a career in big business to prosper, sits at odds with every trait I might identify as positive in an individual. So, I expect the finalists to survive in inverse order of how appealing I find them.

That would mean Paul to win because he's even more repellent than Saira.

Maybe Sugar Daddy will hire two or three of the finalists. Maybe, in time, Saira and Paul will become less antagonistic and competitive with one another. Maybe they'll begin to find one another attractive, in that way that slugs and other slimy things do, and will begin to breed. Imagine that child... One day it will run the country, or sell it to the Chinese.
 
 
Peach Pie
14:44 / 25.04.05

It's so hard to tell though. Certainly I'd like to see James win, but maybe Paul will after all, as siralan seems to want to adopt him as a surrogate business son.

Alan Sugar/Lynn Barber interview: http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1468859,00.html

(they didn't get on)
 
 
Ganesh
17:20 / 25.04.05
Yeah, and that interview suggested that Paul might win.

Eep.
 
 
Ganesh
19:14 / 27.04.05
Saira Saira pants on fire...
 
 
Mourne Kransky
10:20 / 28.04.05
Interview with James in back of taxi as he is driven away, in defeat:
Yah, well, win some, lose some. Driver, drop me at my club.

Interview with Paul in back of taxi as he is driven away, in defeat:
Bastards, bastards, bastards. They think I'm fucking aggressive, do they, I AM NOT FUCKING AGGRESSIVE! Oy, you, driver, I don't like the way you're looking ahead and ignoring me. I'll show Sugar Lips what aggression looks like! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Tim and Saira go mano a mano. Yay!
 
 
sleazenation
11:06 / 28.04.05
Tim MUST win.

Although there would be a certain level of fun to be had to see Saira and Sir Alan locked together in Amstrad Hell sort of the way Maxillian and Reinhardt end up together in hell at the end of Walt Disney's The Black Hole...
 
 
Ganesh
12:49 / 28.04.05
Quite liked Paul's response to being fired, which was akin to a child who's proudly, repeatedly defaecated on the coffee table finally being slapped.

Essentially, his slightly wobbly-lipped rejoinder was, "B-but I've got lots of friends who never say anything bad about me (and one of them's a real live tiger), and I've come here to help you, Siralan, and everybody's been really mean and horrible about me, and they're all big poo-poo heads and it's not faaaaaaaaaiiiiiiirrr."

How we chortled.
 
 
Triplets
13:02 / 28.04.05
Oy, you, driver, I don't like the way you're looking ahead and ignoring me. I'll show Sugar Lips what aggression looks like! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Ooh, doesn't Xoc look butch in text.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
15:19 / 28.04.05
That bit at the end though, when Paul was given his cards;

Siralan - " So now you can back to your life Paul. "

Paul ( after boasting repeatedly about his three million quid's worth of real estate in Newcastle, the South of France etc ) - " Siralan I've got nothing to back to. "

Siralan - " ... "

( Or something like that anyway, words to that effect. )

Was there a crack for a sec in Sir Al's rugged exterior, just a hint of emotion, as this young go-getter in which Siralan seemed to see so much of hisself was packed off back to his crumbling empire ? I like to think so, yeah.

Also good watching Siralan attempting to explain through, gritted teeth, that even he, even he, occasionally has to listen to other people.

But very bad though, to think that barring some kind of miracle, and in spite of her team next week's best efforts to fuck up her chances, it looks like the ghastly Saira's got the show in the bag.
 
 
Peach Pie
15:28 / 28.04.05
Yup... she even managed to make fibbing on her CV sound virtuous... Felt sorry for James. I don't see how he could have played a better game.

Is anyone backing Tim?
 
 
Alex's Grandma
15:42 / 28.04.05
Hard to disagree with Sugar's logic on James though - Who in their right mind would seriously take a paycut to work, not even with, but for a tool like Sir A ? He'd have been out the door within six months, and what's more, he'd have laughed while he was leaving.
 
 
■
18:22 / 28.04.05
Well, yes, but it does make you wonder what the original selection brief was. If they knew all the way down the line that people who didn't need the job wouldn't make it to the end, why were they there in the first place. Ditto age and experience. It all just seems a bit deus ex machina to set everything back on track to ensure a dramatic finale.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
21:25 / 28.04.05
Ooh, doesn't Xoc look butch in text

A mere simulacrum of the irl experience, Ms Triplets.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
10:36 / 01.05.05
Came across James' excellent blog which you might find diverting, Goldfish. Interesting to read his perspective on the others and Sir Al.
 
 
Ganesh
11:30 / 01.05.05
Gosh! His links! My goodness!
 
 
■
11:52 / 01.05.05
...watching us, watching you, watching us....

Brrr. Does James have a suit?
 
 
Mourne Kransky
08:19 / 02.05.05
Just heard Saira on the radio, saying that the final decision hasn't yet been made and will be made live on Wednesday.

Also denying the rumours that the would-be apprentices had trashed the smart pad in Chiswick, or wherever, that they were loaned for the duration.
 
 
Spaniel
09:46 / 02.05.05
I've just found out who won

What was Hattie on about?
 
 
■
11:46 / 02.05.05
I wonder if they'll do the same "You're Hired" and then pull back the walls to reveal a studio audience as Trump did.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
11:57 / 02.05.05
But Saira, she routinely tell fibs to make her awful self seem more clever and interesting - she hasn't exactly been shy about admitting that either, really, has she ? 'S business after all, and that.

They apparently finished filming last October, or so someone who worked on the show told me in tha boozer the other day - I didn't ask who wins, but according to source, the director wanted to re-shoot some of the final scenes so as to exploit their dramatic potential, and Siralan wasn't having it. 'It's for real this show,' he must have shouted, I'm guessing.

In other breaking news, Siralan supposedly sent James an e-mail which said that James was a 'candidate, not an apprentice' and that he hoped to 'do business' with him very soon.

( I'm not making this up. )

And was anyone else a bit worried by that article in The Observer yesterday, which claimed that the success of 'The Apprentice' ( 3 million viewers ! ) was to do with the fact that it had made business seem 'sexy' ? I've only watched the last three episodes, admittedly, but there wasn't even a twinge, not even a flicker.

Am I dead inside ? Should I have been watching this show with a box of tissues handy ? Has anyone else being doing this ?
 
 
sleazenation
12:06 / 02.05.05
No, this isn't business sex - it's hatesex as nina put it - if everyone had been as nice, business-like, personable and professional as Tim and James then it would have been a very dull show...
 
 
Alex's Grandma
12:24 / 02.05.05
For sure, but has anyone wanted to actually, y'know, 'do business' with anyone in this series ?

I can imagine 'a scenario' with Saira, but it would involve her being tied up for 'a bit of fun' after a romantic evening, and then your correspondant leaving the country for a couple of months - 'Honey, I'm just going downstairs for a sec to check my e-mails...' and so on.
 
 
Peach Pie
14:48 / 03.05.05
Thanks for the link, Xoc. I wonder if James posts here?

For anyone who didn't see the observer feature, there was a 'where are they now?' feature on the runners up. Paul gets emails from 14 yr old girls telling him he is the sexiest man in the world, Mim lives in St Martin but is considering moving back to london and says siralan wrote to her apologising for making the wrong choice, and James has set up two new businesses and still lives in Chelsea driving an Aston Martin.

What a great show! One more day to go!
 
 
Mourne Kransky
18:58 / 03.05.05
James and Miriam interviewed by Mark Lawson tonight on Front Row. Both saying it had been a good experience and both, when asked, plumping for Tim to win. Yay! Give them both spirit wolf jackets!
 
 
Hattie's Kitchen
13:08 / 04.05.05
Saira! Saira! Saira! Cannot wait for this tonight.

What was Hattie on about?

Silly me, was referring to the task that week...

I saw on another message board that the "live" final was actually filmed yesterday, hmmmm...

Christ, Wednesdays are gonna be so dull now that there's no more Apprentice...
 
 
Peach Pie
13:13 / 04.05.05
If Sai does win, it will certainly be interesting to hear how the Barbeloids who backed her from the start singled her out for success.
 
 
Hattie's Kitchen
13:24 / 04.05.05
Personally, I thought that she would be certainly in the last three just because of the sheer force of her "personality" - i.e. verbally battering people into submission. And obviously Siralan, for all his talk about not upsetting people, and her being abrasive, looks upon her as a stubborn daughter with the unabashed sales skills he looks for in his employees.

She may make your eardrums bleed, but I'd pick Saira over Tim any day.
 
 
Peach Pie
13:27 / 04.05.05
My money is on one of Tim, Saira, James or Paul to win (with Paul as the least likely of those

gasp

Flyboy correctly predicted the top four after watching two episodes, and the identity of person who would come fourth!
 
 
Spaniel
14:36 / 04.05.05
Hattie, watch Grand Designs. Not as good but good nonetheless.

You'd pick Saira over Tim? Why? She'd be a fucking nightmare to work with. AN. ABSOLUTE. NIGHTMARE. WITH. NOBS. ON.

Also, she's got a hell of a lot to learn. As Siralan's pointed out week after week, her bludgeoning sales technique is entirely inappropriate alot of the time, and I'm not entirely convinced she's got much else in her. I mean, what else is she good at?

Oh, yeah, being annoying. Goto 10.
 
  

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