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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

The Apprentice

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Hattie's Kitchen

10:17 / 17.02.05

After only one episode I'm completely hooked on The Apprentice, the British version of the US show, which featured Donald Trump. The contestants, who have all given up their usual jobs, are battling it out over 12 weeks to land a £100,000 year-long contract working for Sir Alan Sugar, he of crappy Amstrad computers.

It seems that the contestants are the usual mix of budding entrepreneurs, stockbrokers, marketing and sales execs, each with varying degrees of education, but all with the standard corporate bollocks catchphrases on pat: "I think outside the box!" etc...

Last night's episode saw them divided into a girls' and boys' team, and personally I thought it was hilarious watching the girls morph into Spice Girls/Girl Power mode, bickering over 3 hours just to pick a name for their team ("First Forte!") while the guys ("Impact!")were already planning strategies.

It seems that Saira of the girls' team, despite her best intentions of wanting the girls to adopt the "strong, independent women working together" mantra, ended up making a bitter enemy of Miranda in the first episode, having failed to devise a winning strategy of, ahem, selling flowers on the street...Adenike of the the girls' team was the first to be fired, having "undermined" Saira and by not selling enough flowers.

I'm interested to see how the dynamics play out over the coming weeks...

lonely as a cloud...

10:59 / 17.02.05

This looked so much better than the merkin version. The blokes all seem to be more independent, and allowed to be so, whereas Saira seems to be trying to keep the girls on a leash, while the rest of the team try to undermine her. I can see lots of nastiness happening to the girls team unless they get a solid win and some proper team spirit in the next task...

Tryphena Absent

11:31 / 17.02.05

I think the problem is that the girls are used to working with a group of men and being in constant cunning competition, so that when they tried to pull together they found it more difficult to settle in. The guys probably find that a competitive environment isn't so gender related for them and they don't have to fight so hard to maintain individual integrity so they weren't still fighting when the task called for a close knit chummy attitude. Plus they had the salesman of the century and chose better flowers and went to better locations and were just better at it. Where did they find those timid, sad women?

Hattie's Kitchen

11:57 / 17.02.05

Saira was so determined to be seen as a strong leader that she refused to give enough time to anyone else's suggestions, whereas the blokes seemed to have equal input and made much better choices about where to sell and who to sell to, while the girls became bogged down in the details, wasting time on things like buying ribbons and wrapping.

I thought it was interesting because I would've thought there'd be more jockeying for "Alpha" position within the boys' team, whereas it seems that the reverse is happening. Saira has already made enemies among the girls and has lost the first task as project leader, which would appear to make a very big dent in her ego, so the next few weeks will be v.v. interesting.

12:09 / 17.02.05

If this follows the format of the US version, as it seems to be doing, after a few weeks the teams will be reorganised into mixed sides and team membership will become quite fluid, with people moving between groups in order to keep the numbers balanced. That'll allow for some of the bitching to quieten down a bit and some more interesting relationships to develop.

In the US show the women knocked the spots off the men for the first few weeks but (and I could be wrong here) it looks very much as though the positions will be reversed this time.

14:35 / 17.02.05

Y'know reading the topic abstract I couldn't help but notice the similarity to the plot of this reality show and the movie Apt Pupil...

14:45 / 17.02.05

What with this and The Dragon's Den (which - guilty me - I loved), it looks as though the housing & cookery axis may finally be on the wane.

Now we've got action packed shows about the World of Work!!11!!

I agree with Anna, in that I think for the female team gender may be more of an issue, but, seriously, did anyone think Saira was anything other than extremely irritating. Granted, she didn't have the easiest job, and, granted, she was a victim of the edited suite, but, I dunno, I'm far convinced that I wouldn't want to punch her in the face IRL.

"I. Have. Been. To. Japan."

"Konichiwa."

"Do. You. Remember. Konichiwa?"

Aaaaagghhhhh

Hattie's Kitchen

14:58 / 17.02.05

Oh fuck, forgot about that! And her collaring the poor Bosnian tourist as well..."I am a Muslim. You are a Muslim. As Muslim sisters, you must buy these flowers from me.." or something along those lines...

And also the sit-down strategy meeting, before the task began.

"Miranda, any ideas?"

"Well-"

"Sorry, can I just stop you there?"

Classic.

15:31 / 17.02.05

No, Hattie, it was worse than that. They weren't Muslim sisters...

"Are. You. A. Sikh?"
"Yes"
"I. Am. A. Muslim."
"We. Are. Sisters."

And that "can I just stop you there - just for one minute?" business. Ferfuckeye.

20:20 / 23.02.05

This week's task was to invent a new toy and successfully pitch it to a toy company. Unfortunately for the girls their team leader had a crap idea - a semaphore device for kids that can't afford, or are too young to have mobile phones - and decided to run with it despite overwhelmingly negative feedback from both her team and the focus group.

Just in case anyone missed it the first time, this is for kids that can't afford mobile phones.

Can anyone see a problem here?

lonely as a cloud...

08:36 / 24.02.05

Oh, Gordon Bennett...! Missed this week's show...is it repeated? Otherwise, any chance of an update, Boboss?

Regrettable Juvenilia

08:48 / 24.02.05

It was unbelievably satisfying to see Lindsey get canned after she disregarded both The Kids and her team for the sake of her own stupid semaphor idea.

YOU'RE FIRED.

Regrettable Juvenilia

08:51 / 24.02.05

The genius thing about it is that Alan Sugar is not a very nice man. But since the vast majority of the contenders are quite-to-extremely hateable, you find yourself rooting for those magic words... YOU ARE FIRED.

09:26 / 24.02.05

Cloud, between Fly and I, haven't we just done that?

YOU ARE FIRED, indeed.

If Alan Sugar hadn't done it, I would have been forced to, with my flamethrower.

Of course the editing was very, very unkind to silly old Lindsey. Every other shot was of her, mad-eyed, proclaiming the joys of secret signals.

Such as stupid idea.

lonely as a cloud...

10:26 / 24.02.05

How are the boyz doing, though? What was their ingenious plan? Or was it just shit, but less so than the girls'...?

Hattie's Kitchen

10:50 / 24.02.05

Silly, silly Lindsay. What are the chances of her turning up on the next series of Dragons' Den, trying to flog her Secret Signals game? The woman was fucking obsessed.

Oh, and I just found this...sad thing is, I think she's actually serious...

10:59 / 24.02.05

Well, although the boys thrashed the girls, their idea wasn't great and almost got disqualified on plagaristic grounds.

Think Barcode Battler, or any of the Pokemon games on the Gameboy - the one's where players can swap, trade and upgrade their pocket monsters. Basically electronic Top Trumps (to use the boy's description).

11:02 / 24.02.05

Also, the boys managed to get on pretty well, although that big guy is starting to look like a right cock.

TBH, there wasn't much of a story there this week. It was all about the girls, once again.

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:06 / 24.02.05

Matthew the Tory... Well, he's a Tory. He has a Tory face and Tory glasses and he wears Tory clothes and a Tory hat.

13:17 / 24.02.05

Thas the one, a right cock, and rude with it.

Tryphena Absent

15:54 / 24.02.05

Yeaahhhh... this programme is great. I especially like Alan's pointy, pointy finger.

And what is with Miriam's photo? Although after the way she bitched out rubbish Lindsay, I'll forgive her.

16:13 / 24.02.05

I'm loving the finger.

If you know what I mean.

Hattie's Kitchen

16:45 / 24.02.05

Aaargh...I've just found out who won. I will vacate the thread so as not to spoil it for anyone...

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:40 / 10.03.05

So farewell, Adele. You may have been dealing with illness in the family, but something tells me you would have been this abrasive, arrogant and lacking in self-awareness anyway. You may have quit, but in my mind, you exist in a state of perpetual "YOU'RE FIRED".

This show is like hatesex.

My money is on one of Tim, Saira, James or Paul to win (with Paul as the least likely of those).

12:21 / 10.03.05

at this rate there aren't going to be any girls left by the end...

12:25 / 10.03.05

I think the wheat has been thoroughly seperated from the chaff as far as the girls are concerned. The boys will start to feel the heat next week, IMO.

Hattie's Kitchen

12:47 / 10.03.05

I'm seriously embarrassed about how poorly the girls are doing in general - except for kick-ass Saira, who's quickly becoming my favourite. But I wonder how much of that is to do with Alan Sugar himself - personally, I don't think he's the most female-friendly boss to work for...

Regrettable Juvenilia

13:12 / 10.03.05

Well Miranda should never have gone last week, and she had she been in First Forte instead of Adele this week then it might have been a different story... Although Nina suggested that maybe First Forte are never going to win just because their name is so unbelievably shit, and she may have a point.

Regrettable Juvenilia

13:14 / 10.03.05

Not that IMPACT! is a great name - it sounds like a rubbish mid-90s superhero. But First Forte sounds like a rubbish chain of hotels.

Hattie's Kitchen

13:37 / 10.03.05

Fist Fighty?

15:52 / 10.03.05

Saira's grown on me to the extent that I think she's good at what she does, and she does seem to have got a little less overbearing. Of course, that could all be in the edit.

However, she still finishes every sentence with "I've got sooo much energy!11!!"

Hattie's Kitchen

16:36 / 10.03.05

Sales is definitely Saira's strong point, although it's not so much her powers of persuasion and more a case of people caving in to whatever she wants just to get her to shut the fuck up.

20:22 / 11.03.05

They did a British version of this!? Wow.

21:15 / 11.03.05

And it's MUCH better than the American version.

15:09 / 15.03.05

Well, although the boys thrashed the girls, their idea wasn't great and almost got disqualified on plagaristic grounds

Indeed, Bob. Their bluff seemed to serve them well though..
"Tell me, did you get the idea from this near identical toy i picked up on the street round the corner?"
"....No."

I thought the end credits *spoil* the identity of this weeks fired person. We'll see.

I think Paul will win overall.

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