Professor Plumb, in the Lateshift With a Candlestick.

00:52 / 18.12.04

Not really. I was just showing off my new sabre.

00:56 / 18.12.04

Hmm. All this talk of 'invading' is making me think of that scene in the movie 'Top Secret' where Val Kilmer's in prison and his manager comes to see him and complains that he can't bring his wife to orgasm.

Val makes him a present of a large fist-shaped dildo. So sweet of him!

lekvar

00:57 / 18.12.04

"We found your friend impaled on this... device.
It took my men an hour to wipe the smile off his face."

00:58 / 18.12.04

It was called 'The Anal Intruder'!!! I love that toy... FILM! I mean I love that film!!!!

01:04 / 18.12.04

"Wait! You dropped your phoney dog poo."

"What phoney dog poo?"

01:05 / 18.12.04

"I know a little german..."

01:06 / 18.12.04

"... and I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow!"

01:07 / 18.12.04

Hello all. That movie's fab. I remember the first time I saw that. I feel on the floor and laughed a good five minutes.

Now you've all started to make me think of Real Genius.

01:08 / 18.12.04

Jesus! It's so weird to recall that Val Kilmer was almost the new Leslie Nielsen.

01:09 / 18.12.04

I still think the funniest of all those movies was Hot Shots: Part Deux. Saw it on acid the first time, and was absolutely 100% convinced I was literally going to piss myself.

(btw... I didn't. But it was sacry.)

01:09 / 18.12.04

Oh please! Airplane all the way!

01:10 / 18.12.04

Welcome to: I FEEL OLD THEATRE!

Its all the great movies from your youth guaranteed to make you : Feel Old!

01:11 / 18.12.04

..And winner of the "Scariest thougtht award"...DHB! with : Jesus! It's so weird to recall that Val Kilmer was almost the new Leslie Nielsen.

01:13 / 18.12.04

So much for our youth. Where did it go? I have so many quotes at the tip of my tongue that just can't budge. Guess it's either the old age or the bourbon.

01:14 / 18.12.04

Nah, that would have been great! Maybe then Leslie would have played Jim Morrison while

'VAL KILMER IS ... REEP-REEP-REEP-REPOSSESSED!'

01:14 / 18.12.04

Oh, just think of the midget-related comedy Willow could have provded.

01:15 / 18.12.04

Yes..but are you willing to deal with the reprecussion that is Leslie Nielsen in Willow?

crap

Fuck, and he could have played Batman!

"You, uh ... want to take a dinghy?"

"No, I took care of that at the Batcave."

01:16 / 18.12.04

Looking back, I find it kind of odd that O.J. made all of those Naked Gun appearances beside Leslie. Such an innocent looking guy! Remembering him flip out of a wheelchair makes for nice thoughts though.

01:17 / 18.12.04

Heh.

What's the difference between Superman and OJ Simpson?

Superman got the electric chair.

(hides)

01:17 / 18.12.04

I liked Police Squad.

01:18 / 18.12.04

Why have milk in the morning? 'cause OJ will kill you!

Badoomtish!

01:19 / 18.12.04

My favourite bit was when Ricardo Montalban offered Frank a cigar and said

"Cuban?"

"No, Dutch-Irish. My father was from Wales."

01:21 / 18.12.04

Whats white, plastic and can kill your kids if they play with it unsupervised?

Micheal Jackson!

badoomtish!

01:21 / 18.12.04

"Nice beaver."

"Thanks, I just had it stuffed."

So, where is the ol' man nowadays?

01:22 / 18.12.04

Last I saw him was on a Pizza Hut commercial. Man, I haven't even seen a Pizza Hut in so long. Poor chap.

01:22 / 18.12.04

How do you know when it's bedtime at the Neverland ranch?

When the big hand is touching the little hand.

Boom-Tsch!

01:24 / 18.12.04

Don't know what LN's doing now, but his borther was deputy PM of Canada, apparently.

Yes I've been to the IMDB, get off my back!

01:25 / 18.12.04

If I was on the back of everyone who went to IMDB...well I guess it would be a merry christmas after all!

01:25 / 18.12.04

Stoatie, do the joke about Michael Jackson at the top of the cliff. Go on, please!

01:27 / 18.12.04

So here's a hypothetical...

If MJ were to release a new album with that old Thriller flavor and played the part, do you think it's possible for people to feel any differently about him now?

He may have traveled way too far down the road, but I'd like to say maybe. Just seeing him in one of those t.v. specials as he showed how he got the back-beat for "Billy Jean" made me all tingly, regardless of how the rest of the show went.

01:27 / 18.12.04

It doesn't really work in text, requiring as it does an element of humorous physical theatre.

01:29 / 18.12.04

I know, but I was hoping you could translate it into words. I suppose it wouldn't be as funny, never mind.

That's an interesting question, n t b. My first instinct is to opine that a lot of people would kind of ignore any good new music because they wouldn't want to go back on fifteen years of slagging him off.

But quite a few would be happy to divorce their opinion of the man with that of his music.