Through the Lateshift; with Julian Grant.

22:00 / 29.02.04

Anna, Please tell me Gwyneth has come in something better than this this year?

22:04 / 29.02.04

feeling glad not to be watching the oscars...

22:05 / 29.02.04

Haus, I used to drink vinegar as a child. I also used to eat OXO cubes on their own.

I am certain I now have BSE and it is only a matter of time before my brain starts to liquify.

22:06 / 29.02.04

I used to drink vinegar as a kid too. Not with you on the Oxo cubes thing, though... least not as far as I remember.

22:10 / 29.02.04

you know what stoatie? that doesn't surprize me...

22:11 / 29.02.04

Gwyneth better be wearing something better because Jesus I felt ill looking at the woman in 2003. What the fuck were her stylists thinking?
Anyway it doesn't begin until 10 to 1 so I can't tell you. And yes I am such an addict that I will be watching it all night.

I've just had the funniest experience explaining how the Oscars work to my parents. They were completely bemused when I told them about the Elton John afterparty and built in underwear for Versace dresses. Do people really not know these things?

22:16 / 29.02.04

Er.

Elton John and afterparty I get (although I am not entirely happy about the two things appearing in the same sentence, principally because the word 'afterparty' is causing me some very real imagining problems in the sexual department).

But talk me through Versace built-in underwear...

You mean your knickers are part of your frock?

22:18 / 29.02.04

I'm touched by your faith in me sleaze...

22:21 / 29.02.04

heh - i just hope your wedding was vinegar free

22:27 / 29.02.04

Okay, Versace dresses are like constructions, they all have inbuilt undergarments. I mean everything. Most of them are boned, even the flimsy creation that J-Lo made famous with the open front was boned. It's amazing and it explains precisely why those dresses make everyone look so feminine.

22:28 / 29.02.04

Gingerbop - no, me no married. I blame the vinegar breath. And the love of mussels.

OIC - right. Sorry. Got confused.

While looking for precedents, I've been wandering through some of Barbelith's funniest ever pramhurls. It's a very retro thrill...

Anyway. Can we have Ian McKellen at Eurovision? Hosting or performing, I don't really mind...

22:31 / 29.02.04

Ian McKellen in a chain fight with Eddie (The Eagle) Edwards! That'd make Bucks Fizz's scandalous skirt-ripping look pretty fucking tame, I can tell you!

22:31 / 29.02.04

BTW I'm getting this weird, weird urge to listen to The Lost Boys soundtrack. Help me forget... please!!

22:32 / 29.02.04

Anna, I get it. Like the Azzedine Alaia sculpted panels trick, but inside?

22:33 / 29.02.04

Echo & the Bunnymen do the Doors! And a whole bunch of shit stuff. I see your point.

22:34 / 29.02.04

lost boys is never a goood thing

22:34 / 29.02.04

Did we *really* plan to celebrate the next Barbewedding with Eddie the Eagle ski-jumping off the roof of the Union Chapel? We did, didn't we...

Right, darlings, I am taking scary visions of built-in underwear (hey, is there somebody whose job is to put the bining in? Is s/he called the boner? Please tell me it's so...) so I am puttering off to bed - will pop in to say g'night once I've brushed my toothypegs, put n my pyjamas and made a hot water bottle.

Um, I mean paid off the roadie, snorted the cocaine and done it done it done it with the army of beautiful men and women.

Yes.

22:34 / 29.02.04

No, no. Stop with the Lost Boys. Now. It will do you no good. Banish the urge forthwith.

Nobody encourage her.

22:35 / 29.02.04

Yes, Haus, we did. As I recall, at the precise moment "The Eagle" skied off the top of Union Chapel, Fred Dibnah was to blow it up. And there was something about a CGI-ed Joey Deacon, as well.

22:38 / 29.02.04

Is s/he called the boner?

My eyes are ohsonarrowed at you right now. Dear christ man, don't just brush your teeth, wash your entire head with oodles of exfoliating facewash to get rid of the stench of baaaaaad joke.

Like the Azzedine Alaia sculpted panels trick, but inside?

You do get it but with knickers too.

You're not purging me of Lost Boys, you're emphasising. You. Are. Emphasising. Arrrgggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

22:39 / 29.02.04

joey deacon is designing the dresses next barbie wedding

22:39 / 29.02.04

and also- here's the greats- i can carry this baby down the stairs and watch oscars and type out excating criticisms of bad dresses and designers. My god, I've gone to heaven.

22:41 / 29.02.04

its almost like being a reporter on the scene only you can do it in yr pjs

Less searchable M0rd4nt

22:43 / 29.02.04

Veering randomly back onto the acetic acid: Drinking vinegar is tres Goth. Rumoured to make one paler, you know. Cider vinegar is touted an aid to the digestion, to slimming, to detoxing, and it's quite good against rheumatism.

I used to drink salad cream as a kid.

22:45 / 29.02.04

mordant that was just an anti thatcher protest though wan't it?

22:47 / 29.02.04

Surely if you have rheumatism you're gonna have one of them copper bracelet thingies which the vinegar would react to with hilarious consequences?

gingerbop

22:53 / 29.02.04

Fuck sake, once again, I got Haus and Stoatie confused. Must repeat mantra; stoatie got married, haus did not.

What channel are the Oscars on?
I think Gwyneth's dress could have done with built in underwear anyway. She could take off her shoe and flash a nipple.

22:54 / 29.02.04

And I definitely didn't get married to Haus!

Ah, gotta love the Daily Express. great ehadline I've just seen in today's- "STOP THE FRENCH EATING OUR PONIES". Classic.

22:55 / 29.02.04

Well, stoatie and I do look very similar...

And what on Earth is wrong with the Lost Boys? I would contend that everything is *right* with the Lost Boys.

22:56 / 29.02.04

Stop the French eating our boning!

Less searchable M0rd4nt

22:56 / 29.02.04

sleaze: Of course. Ditto eating Spam and putting sugar on my lettuce.

Stoatie: Actually, vinegar is really good for cleaning copper and bringing it up to a nice bright shine. maybe a high vinegar diet would keep your rheumatiz bracelet in tip-top condition?

22:57 / 29.02.04

...boning our ponies?

22:57 / 29.02.04

It's just too much. It's Lost in the Shadows you know.

BBC1 and what is Ancona wearing?