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Advice really needed...please

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03:37 / 13.04.04

i need some other affection, i think.

BLAMMO.
that's the stuff.
right there.
that.

go out and get some of that affection from the right kinda places, and it will make it seem less painful.

08:36 / 13.04.04

well...yes. getting out would be the best thing. but, cmon, anyone who has read this thread or has been here pretty much knows THAT's not going to happen.

however, i'm pretty sure after overhearing half of a conversation in my car today that she most likely has convinced the tool to move back here and get a new job.

this will not only kill any interest in her, but will also immediately kill our friendship.

i need some kind of tangible betrayal.

No, you don't. You need to take responsibility for your life, to stop passively observing and waiting until the situation becomes untenable and blows up in your face.

Looking elsewhere for love is a step in the right direction. Loving yourself would be a running, flying leap in the right direction.

You clearly know the way to go, you're just institutionalised and frankly a bit gutless. But I've been there too, so have a hug. I have empathy, but I also want to give you a running headbutt.

08:55 / 13.04.04

i want to invite him round and shake him.
i wouldnt hit him, but i'd sure as heck shake the shit outta him.
i'm only half serious.
which means i'm only half joking.

(see if you can spot whose catchphrase i lifted, barbefans!)

09:48 / 13.04.04

Keith, Keith, Keith, KEITH!!, Keith...

Just imagine how embarassed you're going to be about this thread in five years time. Hey, 5 days time, maybe..

Keith, like a scientist

12:18 / 13.04.04

hahahaha...i know, the embarrassment is already starting to set in.

what in the world have i been doing?

12:50 / 13.04.04

You've been going mad. Love is rather a lot like madness.

Don't beat yourself up too much.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

13:12 / 13.04.04

If I was you, I'd save a copy of this thread- not to beat yourself up with, but because once it's all in the past you'll find it fucking hilarious, if a little embarrassing. (Kind of like Illmatic said, really.)

But yeah, whoever just posted (not being able to see the last couple of posts when replying bugs me somewhat) is right- temporary insanity. Happens to us all.

And while looking for affection elsewhere is top number one fantastic the dog's bollocks advice... don't get too hung up on it, or you'll start fucking yourself up all over again.

You're seeming slightly more rational/cheerful now... I hope this is actually the case.

Look after yourself, man.

13:36 / 13.04.04

keith, please resurrect this thread in a year or so to tell us all how right we were. thanks.

13:59 / 13.04.04

however, i'm pretty sure after overhearing half of a conversation in my car today that she most likely has convinced the tool to move back here and get a new job.

Were you really looking for tangible betrayal??

Why isn't this it??

Not that I really think that adding my voice to the chorus is going to make much difference, but I'm in kind of a what-the-fuck mood this morning.

Good luck...

16:54 / 13.04.04

woah . . .

keith, Re RED this thread... and definately save a copy for sometime later...

Let me ask, ARE YOU A VIRGIN? just curious...

here's some more advice you can feel free to ignor:

Go see a prostitute . . . treat yourself, I'm sure with a little effort and some $$$ you can find a perfectly suitable professional that can pour a whole evening's worth of affection upon you.

if you're curious to see wither SHE is a friend or not. Tell her about your experience, her reaction will reveal ALOT about what kind of friend she is.... (or IMO isn't)

The kind of person you think she is DOES NOT MATTER!!!

bla bla bla etc. etc. etc. YADA YADA YADA . . .

18:35 / 13.04.04

at this point all i want is to not make an enemy, not be a total shit to her, and learn to go on with my life, and possibly keep a friend, but i know that isn't likely.

you might, who cares, yes do, don't bother, you're right.

I won't repeat all the other good words you've already gotten, but I just have to add from a whooaaa have I been there POV, she's not your friend. She is not. You may feel like she's your friend, and she may think she's your friend, but she is not. your. friend.

If you just trust that's true - and I realize that's a pretty large effort I'm suggesting you make - you really have nothing to lose by cutting her straight out of your life. I've had to do this, and even now with plenty of hindsight I occasionally feel a pang of gee, we were good friends, we had such good times and so much in common... and then I snap back to reality.

It's a total cliche, and yet true: if she did care about you she would care about whether you were happy or utterly miserable. And by "care," I mean not "feel really guilty but keep torturing you," but "do you the favor of cutting the shit."

And one more thing: even if by some fantastic miracle she left her bf and got together with you and never cheated bc really you were her true love (and that is what you dream of, right?), she's still a girl that strongarms her man into a marriage proposal! in part by getting really close to a new man! Jeeez!

18:50 / 13.04.04

dear god, i hope this girl doenst have the google fu...

18:57 / 13.04.04

seriously.
type the words 'toksik' and 'drugs' and see what is hit one.
then try 'bit torrent' and 'toksik'. then try 'toksik' and 'paranoid'.

fuck me, man.
yeah, even 'fuck toksik' and 'toksik sucks'. and that last one gives you my location in-thread.

Keith, like a scientist

02:12 / 14.04.04

haha. i did some google searches and nothing came up with my name and some notable words in this thread. i don't think it's a problem. i've tried to be discreet.

um..

virgin: haha, no.
dumb: yes

prostitute: er...as soon i've have the disposable income for that, i'll let you know.

tangible betrayal: well...yes. i guess this basically is the tangible betrayal. an utter rejection of the possibility of HER moving on with someone she professes to be attracted to, and confused about.

i do have a sort of rational look at this...for some reason, it all crystallized sitting at the parent's for easter. not that anything meaningful happened. it was more like...hey, i'm not so good nor friendly with family get togethers, so it gives me a lot of time to stare blankly and think internally. scales started falling and dots started connecting...

ONLY NICE THINGS

11:19 / 14.04.04

It's like the Time Tunnel...

11:47 / 14.04.04

Cheers, Haus.

These voyeuristic threads are very entertaining.

Sorry, Keith.

Ex

12:45 / 14.04.04

I hope so. Because you go through the time tunnel, and you come out somewhere else, with better outfits.

Cheap. Easy. Cruel.

13:31 / 14.04.04

Christ, this thread is like reading a transcript of my life seven years ago. Kieth, I know it has been said before, but I just want to reiterate: Get out now. Run, don't walk, away. Tell her that you feel she is a great girl, but your sanity cannot take any more of this and advise her that you will no longer answer her communiques. Do not see her, do not go to the places she frequents, do not allow yourself to wallow in the misery that is your unrequited love. Find something else to do. In time you will heal, and see that this was nothing short of an emotional nuke.

One of two things will happen. Either she will finally decide that you are the wonderful man of her dreams, or she will just move on to the next victim.

If the former, congrats. You now have an emotionally immature, indecisive, manipulative woman for a girlfriend. If that is what makes you happy, then so be it.

If not, then you hurt for a while and come out the other side tougher, with a better understanding of what to look for and avoid in the future.

I did get out after a year of off and on crap. She came crying to me with the "I can't live without you" routine. She broke up with the BF and we started dating exclusively. After two years, my eyes opened up to what I should have seen in the first place. She was not the person I wanted, she merely had taken on the rose colored tint of the glasses I was viewing her through. I also never felt that I could trust her because of what she had done to the last guy. Later on, I found out that my mistrust was not without warrant.

When I was going through all that mess, I had one person give me the advice I am now giving you. I damn well wish I had listened. Good luck man.

16:14 / 14.04.04

prostitute: er...as soon i've have the disposable income for that, i'll let you know.

think of it as a theraputic cost.

The Natural Way

09:48 / 15.04.04

Keith, perhaps you would benefit from a name change.

10:06 / 15.04.04

Looking elsewhere for love is a step in the right direction. Loving yourself would be a running, flying leap in the right direction.

This is the point really. And I don't think it's just about your relationship with this girl. From reading your posts, you really give the impression of someone who badly wants to please others, including people on this board. It's a treadmill that you need to get off. Nothing anyone on this board says can make you feel good about yourself. Noone in real life can make you feel good about yourself. You have to make yourself feel good about yourself. Decide who you want to be and judge yourself according to your own standards, not anyone else's. It's the only way to live happily.

Perhaps consider changing your board name, too. Your board names are kinda reinforcing a negative view of yourself.

Keith, like a scientist

12:04 / 15.04.04

i must wait another 12 days to change my name...

14:01 / 15.04.04

Then I think the rest of this thread should be devoted to dreaming up a positive new name for Keith, such as:

Keith is doing very well, thank you.

14:07 / 15.04.04

Keith is going to find someone who actually cares for him and isn't just stringing him along for their own psychological jollies. Or Kigtfswacfhaijshaftopj.

14:24 / 15.04.04

Keith rocks!

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:46 / 15.04.04

Keith Paid For Sex, And It Really Helped His Self-Esteem.

14:47 / 15.04.04

Flyboy Isn't Helping

14:52 / 15.04.04

Keith's not so much lost a wife as gained some friends.

14:59 / 15.04.04

Keith 2: Movin' On

15:01 / 15.04.04

Keith: What Was I Thinking?

15:05 / 15.04.04

Keith: Stronger Than Yesterday

15:24 / 15.04.04

Keith: Enormously Intelligent Together & Happy. That way it acronymises, if you see what I mean. (though only as K:E.I.T.H, but still)

15:24 / 15.04.04

How Keith learned to stop worrying and become the bomb.

16:04 / 15.04.04

"Woo! Keith!"

16:22 / 15.04.04

how about 'Knight Exemplar In Teflon Hose', or KEITH.
its positive, with elements of 'cant touch this' and its also your name.

(edit- damn! i didnt see the other acronym!)

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