Barbelith Underground > Conversation > Advice really needed...please

well, you've annoyed me.
sorry, but this is going to be harsh.

anyone who has read this thread or has been here pretty much knows THAT's not going to happen.

so you started this thread in the hopes that we would validate your position of inaction? or what? was it just to get a response, to feed the ego, show yourself that people can be manipulated into caring about this 'keith' you say you are?

i personally am getting annoyed at you for making us invest emotion in you and then demonstrating that you dont even need the care we showed.

its kinda like what you say she does to you.

however, i'm pretty sure after overhearing half of a conversation in my car today that she most likely has convinced the tool to move back here and get a new job.

because she fancies him, and you are not in a position to tell her not to. she is not your wife of an open marriage, she is your friend. it is her business, when all is said and done.

this will not only kill any interest in her, but will also immediately kill our friendship.

i hope so.
but.
is there anything to your side of the friendship beyond frustrated love?

evil thought: i've found that i can play this girl as much as she plays me. leave her alone for a bit = phone rings. don't answer phone = invitation. hands off = kissy face.

and in doing so, you are playing yourself. not a judgement, just a word of warning.

also, i'd just like to say that i don't think she is a bad person or even unaware of how this affects me. we've discussed it, and she has said many a time that she feels awful. she has offered numerous times to cut our time together back or off for a time if that will help.

i'm sorry, but i dont see how this is important. there are people who cause harm even though they say they dont mean to. some of them even mean what they say.

harm is still caused.

of course, i'm the whiney puss that can't go through it. but i'm starting to develop this amused bitterness over the past day or two. i don't hate her, and i would like to maintain our friendship, but the pedestal is quickly starting to suffer from mold.

the initial sheen of your lust/love/crush is fading.
its like when you were a kid and people said you would get over it, but you didnt want to believe them.

personally i dont think you should hate her. i believe much of the problem has been your inability to deal with her rejection, and your need to turn your relationship into one of friendship rather than some girl/some boy who know each other.

you wanted to matter to her as much as she mattered to you, and you thought that friendship might be a way to develop that kind of meaning. that doesnt work.

well done on getting this far, but she still doesnt fancy you. nor will she.

(all of the above of course subject to the usual warning about it being my own very special brand of bullshit, and as such available for your dismissal.)