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Barefoot Doctor gets a kicking

 
  

Page: 123(4)56

 
 
Kit-Cat Club
13:09 / 17.05.04
That's private, that is. Cheeky.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:19 / 17.05.04
.'Damn Sexy Scent for Secret Places'

So Dr Barefoot actually *can* shove it right up his arse? Excellent...
 
 
A Friend
08:57 / 18.05.04
mmmmm.....but try telling the forum over at barefootdoctorworld that it's a marketing carnival with a captive set of customers....they throw love and light on you and think you're mad!
 
 
Ex
09:49 / 18.05.04
So Dr Barefoot actually *can* shove it right up his arse?

Well, it's for "Secret Places". It's actually an air freshener for supervillain dens in volcanoes. Feng Shui the batcave.

I want to see him produce moist, scented individually wrapped Taolets.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:31 / 27.07.05
A kind friend recently 'gifted' me with a copy of Barefoot Doctor's Handbook for the Urban Warrior: A Spiritual Survival Guide. In honour of this, I am going to post a choice selection from this teethgrindly-bad book of punchable wisdom every day until you beg me to stop. We will begin with:

"To be an urban warrior, you've got to be sexy and feel sexy all the time. Your relationship with the world has to feel sexy. The way you engage on this planet has to be sexy. Your relationship with the divine realms – your spirit – has to be sexy. Everything you do has to be sexy, because sexy means connected, connected to the life-force, and when you're connected, you're authentic."
 
 
Ganesh
11:34 / 27.07.05
You should cross-post this on Urban75.
 
 
Quantum
11:38 / 27.07.05
I'm begging you already, please please stop, please please please please please...

Everything you do has to be sexy *sounds of simultaneous vomiting and screaming* how can he even use the word 'authentic' without his demonic patrons rising from the sulfurous depths and claiming his black soul early?
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
11:38 / 27.07.05
I just emptied the kitchen bin... in a very sexy manner.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
11:39 / 27.07.05
Yay, my favourite thread ever, back from the vaults!

Fly, that's marvellous. You know it's in code, don't you? When BD says "sexy", try replacing it with "punchable". Or possibly "insufferable".
 
 
illmatic
11:45 / 27.07.05
Don't stop yet, Fly, keep going. I don't feel in pain ENOUGH yet.

Would you like a Killers album to go with that?
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
11:53 / 27.07.05
I just took my anti-inflammatories... in an extremely sexy manner.
 
 
Hattie's Kitchen
11:56 / 27.07.05
I just flushed my used tampon. It was damn sexy.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
11:56 / 27.07.05
All that kidney rubbing adopts a new, kinkier dimension.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:00 / 27.07.05
I just kicked the shit out of the Barefoot Doctor.

Not sure if I did it sexily, as such, but it certainly gave ME the horn.
 
 
Loomis
12:06 / 27.07.05
Perfectly reasonable advice.

I feel sexy all the time. Have for years. Done me a world of good, it has. Seats on the bus, an office to myself, straight to the front of every queue.

I can't wait for tomorrow's tip.
 
 
illmatic
12:06 / 27.07.05
Flyboy, I command you to keep posting stuff from this. I think if we're being honest with ourselves and just drop the cynicism for a minute yeah guys?, we'll all find it very helpful.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:08 / 27.07.05
Don't you think I have work to do?
 
 
illmatic
12:08 / 27.07.05
I have just actually had sex. However, I didn't do it in a sexy manner.

Have I somehow failed?
 
 
Hattie's Kitchen
12:14 / 27.07.05
Do I have to look sexy when I'm asleep? Because I have this habit of splaying my limbs out at crooked angles and looking like I've just been dropped from a great height, and I drool out of the corner of my mouth. And I do fanny farts as well. Does this count as sexy?
 
 
illmatic
12:21 / 27.07.05
Hattie's Kitchen: PHWOAH.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:21 / 27.07.05
Well rub my kidneys and call me Susan.
 
 
Ganesh
12:31 / 27.07.05
I just had a very satisfying post-lunch dump. I guess it could be sexy if you're Tony Scattery.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
13:50 / 27.07.05
Information overload. Too much sexy. Mind...faltering...
 
 
■
13:51 / 27.07.05
Faltering in a sexy way, I sexily hope.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
14:04 / 27.07.05
You chaps have it all wrong. Being sexy is only a staging post on the route to being authentic. I am happy to report that I am authentically drinking my tea and that I have got some authentic stuff in my authentic eye, which is hurting in an authentic way.
 
 
Hattie's Kitchen
14:07 / 27.07.05
I was going to go to this "Gay and Lesbian Vegan and Vegetarian Non-Sexual Picnic" that was advertised in Time Out a few weeks ago. I don't want to antagonise the non-sexual gay veggies by being too sexy. Apart from wearing a strap-on Peperami, what should I do?
 
 
Alex's Grandma
14:08 / 27.07.05
What's wrong with being sexist?
 
 
astrojax69
14:22 / 27.07.05
Everything you do has to be sexy

damn, and i thought it was funky, sheesh!
 
 
Cat Chant
14:25 / 27.07.05
Please will someone make me a t-shirt saying WHEN YOU'RE CONNECTED, YOU'RE AUTHENTIC? It is my favourite phrase ever as of now.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
15:46 / 27.07.05
This one is for Liquid Swordz, who asked for it...

What follows is the money tree visualisation. Perform it at least once a week, and you'll never go short. Two to three days later, there will usually be a noticeable increase in the volume of money coming your way.

Picture yourself sitting under a large, friendly tree, leaning up against its sturdy trunk. Looking up at its many branches, you notice the leaves are actually banknotes if the highest denomination (£50s/$100s). As you sit watching, these notes start falling from the branches and landing all around you on the ground. The more you watch, the faster they fall. As one leaf falls, another one shoots through to replace it. When the notes on the ground around you have formed a big enough pile to fulfil all your current needs (as big or small as you like), gather them up, put them in your pockets/suitcase/truck, etc, say thank you to the money tree, and come back, knowing you can return as often as you choose.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
15:59 / 27.07.05
Fuck. And all this time I've been fucking WORKING!!?!?!?!

What kind of cunt am I?

Don't answer that.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
16:04 / 27.07.05
I am sexily and authentically typing while visualising a money tree.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
16:09 / 27.07.05
If I sexily and authentically visualise myself in receipt of a money shot, what happens? Is that in the book?
 
 
Quantum
16:29 / 27.07.05
*sounds of weeping and sobbing*

Do you have no mercy? I am visualising a wooden spike, of the kind commonly used to impale transgressors against Transylvanian warlords like Vlad Tepes...
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
16:44 / 27.07.05
Shit! Monkey tree! Spiritual primate apocalypse!
 
  

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