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Better now. I think I ate too many flying saucers. Flying saucers are a bit iffy, but iffy in a good way. Too many of them make my head burst, which is funny, but they make me sick, which isn’t.
I don’t understand what Jack’s talking about in his last few posts, so I think I’m going to ignore him.
/\/\0RI)/\I\IT, your club doesn’t sound any better than it did before. Actually, I think it sounds worse. One I-I/\*0R, one bully and one girl who shows her knickers. I’VE ALREADY SEEN A GIRL’S KNICKERS.
I don’t understand what Xoc’s saying either. Is it H@#)I>\ speak too? Some of it sounds a bit dirty. Can you teach me some dirty words please, Xoc? Then I can teach them to Jack but tell him that they mean different words that aren’t dirty words so that he uses them when he shouldn’t and gets told off. Yeah, that’d teach him. I mean that’d be a lesson for him, not that’d teach him, because obviously it’d teach him because I’d be teaching him the dirty words. You know what I mean, don’t you? Yeah, you do. Our base is in the hole behind the trees in the field over the road from my house, Xoc. I wish you’d pay attention, Xoc.
Has anybody had any ideas for things we can do? I’ve got those two matchboxes with hidden compartments. They’re a bit too small to hide anything in so I’m not sure why I made them, but the book said it was a good idea for spies to have matchboxes with hidden compartments so I made them. We need some more good spy stuff. May drew a moustache on her face but it looked a bit rubbish. I think Qalyn is really a boy and that Bio’s got confused. How can Bio not know the difference between a girl’s knickers and boy’s pants? Unless his mum makes him wear girls knickers and tells him they’re boys pants, so that he thinks boys pants are actually girls knickers. Hang on, that means that I might think that girls knickers are boys pants because my mum told me they were. Maybe I shouldn’t think about that too much. It’s making my head feel like I’ve eaten too many flying saucers.
Talking about your head feeling like you’ve eaten too many flying saucers, I The Golden Dawn-nie Darko U’s post makes my head feel like that. I thought my eyes were going funny when I saw those s’s. Then I thought maybe she had a shaky hand when she was writing and it made her squiggle her s’s, like on that letter I got from Father Christmas when I was seven. Why do Americans call Father Christmas Santa Clause, kittie? I like you, but I don’t like how Americans change the names of things. Santa Clause makes no sense. Nor does hamburger. Jack never answered my question about hamburger, kittie. Can you? Anyway, I don’t believe in Father Christmas or Santa Clause. I think it’s just magic, like David Flame does on the television, only better. Maybe we could have that as one of our spying missions, finding out how the presents get under the tree. I bet I The Golden Dawn-nie Darko U believes in Father Christmas. She seems like a bit of a nerk. Anyway, what I was saying before was about her s’s. I was interested in them when I started to write this, but they’ve suddenly become really boring. Go away.
Ganesh, did Xoc really try to touch your bum? Is Xoc a girl, then? Have you touched her boobs? Don’t try and do it in front of Jack, will you? Oh wait, you said Xoc’s a he. Sorry. Can you maybe psychic him to stop him from touching your bum? We need to concentrate on spy things, and bum-touching doesn’t count. Unless we have it as a code word. Can bum-touching be a codeword? I think I mean signal. Yeah, that sounds right. Cool.
I just remembered that I’m allergic to dogs, kittie. Do you think you could teach any other animals to say “sausages”? Actually, if “sausages” *is* the only word that dogs can say then maybe other animals can say other words. Can you try and find out, kittie? That can be your mission for the week.
Have you got a pair of binoculars, Fater Fae? Can I just call you Fae instead of Fater Fae, Fater Fae? Yeah, I can. Cheers. Have you got a pair of binoculars, Fae? Then you can stay in your house and spy on people and tell us what’s going on and your mum doesn’t have to worry about you going out of the house. Haus. House. Anyway, does that sound like a good idea, Fae? Do that, will you? Tell us what Mordant’s crappy club is up to. I can’t even be bothered doing all that hackxor speak now. |
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