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Eastwood was only going to be considered if they filmed "Dark Knight Returns"
He's twenty years too old, man, Eastwood is in his 70s! Dark Knight Batman is in his fifties, ie Clint is wrong for such a role by about twenty years. A fiftysomething man can still look vaguely able to beat someone up, but not a seventy year old, no way. Not even if he's Clint Eastwood in a Batman costume. Mickey Rourke's fifty, thats the sort of age they should get. Not that anyone's ever going to make a film of Dark Knight Returns, thank god.
I’m reading this thread with dismay. I say, great bolshy yarblockoes to serious Batman movies. Someone should make a reeeaallly camp Batman film, ‘Batman and the Beanstalk’, or something like that. Get a girl to play Batman, in traditional panto style, someone with legs that look great in tights. But nobody mentions that she’s a girl: for the purposes of the film she’s 100percent male. Then, make the character of Commissioner Gordon a girl, but have her played by a man in drag, and rename her Commissioner Twanky. David Caruso would be ideal for this part. Finally add Vincent Gallo as the Joker, and a band of little Batboys who follow Batman (who it now occurs to me could be played by Shannon Elizabeth) around, hissing and booing whenever the Joker attempts to sneak behind our virtuous hero and steal the magic beans from the Gotham City museum.
Oh, and it’ll need some tip top singalong songs. Mercury Rev could do these, using that ‘sound of childlike wonder rubbing against gritty reality of an expanding universe in swirling entropic waltz’ style that they’ve patented.
Christian Bale? Michael Caine? Bah!, humbug etc |
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