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Witchcraft... how distasteful!
It's okay Paleface, soon you will be able to eat again, whole meals! I ate lunch, dinner and a whole bar of chocolate today with no discomfort.
Tomorrow my willpower will just leave me (I know it) and I'll smoke. Sorry, I think this is going to be a long rant but I've got to let it out. This is my third cigarette- free day and it's not going too well. I'm not sure how much of the pain I've been experiencing has been nicotine related- I haven't had a fag free day in a couple of years. I'm sure it's made dealing with the throat a whole lot worse- not physically but just my coping facility.
The worst thing is that I don't feel the need to smoke but I'm really really missing it. I walked past some people earlier and just dragged in the smell of lit fags and... well I'm the sad addict. I'll smoke a Marlboro... maybe a light, maybe a Red and it'll be all warm and I'll get a slight rush from it and I'll feel all alone and secure in being alone. It's the most perfect separation and it will be wonderful because I'm a goddamn smoker and I don't want to stop. The problem with actually really loving it is that you can't decide whether to chance the ill health and continue regardless or quit while you could conceivably stop. I'm used to doing things that I want but then I don't usually want to do things that could kill me... oh, I curse the inevitable day that I started to smoke. |
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