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Whoever it was that said that the barbelith could use some speed injected into the pacing....

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Crimes_Of_Fashion

15:24 / 14.04.03

Haus let it go It'd be terrible to think I had a modicum of intelligence, huh?

You wouldnt be able to sleep at night knowing all your theories on the 'regular' people were a load of shit to justify your lack of motivation to actualy do anything about your situation.

Lets end this - this is liks shooting fish in a blender.

15:31 / 14.04.03

No, let's not... this is getting interesting.

It'd be terrible to think I had a modicum of intelligence, huh?

Wouldn't be terrible at all. But it would be easier to think so, if you demonstrated any.

...all your theories on the 'regular' people [are] a load of shit to justify your lack of motivation to actualy do anything about your situation...

Care to unpack this a little?

What theories? What "regular" people? What "situation"?

ONLY NICE THINGS

15:34 / 14.04.03

Oh yes. Your victory is so glorious. You have invented a situation that everybody who disagrees with you must be in, and, now that you are earning the contempt of passers-by are choosing to yell ever more shrill and childish imprecations at anyone who does not fall in line, which is to say anyone who isn't on your Livejournal "friends" list. Despite the impossiblity of proving your own attractiveness or physical health, you are obsessively trying to convince a largely indifferent world that anyone who does not render due deference is fat and ugly. Your contention is as false as it is sophomoric.

I like the regular people just fine. Where we differ is probably your belief that you are one of the regular people. You are not. You're one of the dumb, narcisstic and emotionally adolescent people, and on a site like Barbelith, where the regular people are generally pretty bright (and yet still startlingly handsome and terribly good at cricket), this is thrown into rather sharp relief. so far in your attempts to impress people you have demonstrated that you have read Borges and apparently little else, that you cannot pronounce "Baudrillard" or "Derrida", and that you cannot cope with anyone disagreeing with you without behaving like a seven year old.

Just keep telling yourself how much better-looking than everyone else you are and what a fulfilling life you have - the difficulty of proving the contention one way or the other, and the lack of emotional investment in doing so of the grown-ups, should keep your fantasy world largely insulated.

Fish in a blender indeed, little one.

15:40 / 14.04.03

fuk U haus LJ is the shiznit!!!!!! lol blogger sux

15:59 / 14.04.03

(which is to say that using "Livejournaller" to mean "immature troll" might be seen as being on the same level as, say, "D&D player" for "fat no-life virgin")

16:04 / 14.04.03

C-o-F, I can't comprehend your supposition that we are all fat and ugly. Surely you must be able to see that our physical beauty transmutes into our inner beauty, which in turn manifests itself in our posts?

ONLY NICE THINGS

16:39 / 14.04.03

I fear you mistake me, Fridge. I was specifically suggesting that C_o_F was a Livejournal friend of somebody on Barbelith, not that Livejournal was in itself a breeding ground of immaturity. The fact that C_o_F happens to be heading towards immature trolldom is by the by. LJ friends lists provide a handy community to import wholesale into bulletin boards, but the same effect could be achieved by any number of other methods. I leave the rivalries between bells-and-whistles FTP programs to those more technically ept.

17:11 / 14.04.03

And looks are everything - what you own - what you do - it's the world - it's unfortunate there aren’t visual profiles so we could cut the foreplay

Lucky there's the Photos thread then, thoughtfully provided by Lady Flowers and currently hovering right above your own exciting little wordathon, COF. You could post your likeness there and that would really show these shallow, superficial posters who are persecuting you.

I'm just hoping the coolest girl in town™ is going to post hir photo so all of us rugged, heteronormative cricketing types can enjoy!

21:01 / 14.04.03

Can not Crimes of Fash see our inner beards?

Actually, he is my inner beard

... and I am his.

21:02 / 14.04.03

Sorry. Wrong thread.

21:07 / 14.04.03

where the regular people are generally pretty bright (and yet still startlingly handsome and terribly good at cricket)

Haus, you are Wimsey of Balliol and I claim my ₤5.

May I ask what is wrong with being fat and ugly? Could we not just assume that none of you want to prod me with your fleshly parts and move on?

Crimes_Of_Fashion

21:49 / 14.04.03

Haus - You had me pegged for the wrong dude - sophomoric, probably but is my line about physical beauty any different to you barking at anyone that doesn’t regurgitate the same McLuhan lines as everyone else.

I have no clue as to wtf the live journal thing is about- I mean, I've seen them and their comical - gothic faux suicide attempts and contrived 'i sure strive to be different! fuck people that don’t like me!' - so really that’s more your style pal -Your strict bullshit about everyone having to climb your intellectual Ivory tower to earn the right to speak is not at all different from some of the lousy shit I’ve been saying - And really anyone that caught a stray line of my contempt there I apologize - But posting in their beloved head shop is hardly a reason to have their sobbing whining pointed at me so I just gave it back -

The only person I know here is Nixon - to whom I recommended the site as he enjoys the message board outpourings of self-contempt while chowing down on his brandy schnapps and corn flakes.

He has since told me to cease recommending chat rooms as they are 'all the same.'

And if you interested - he's a good-looking guy indeed.

So if I've wasted enough time on this- funny but old old old pissing contest - Haus you can back down because you want to save your contempt for whoever the internet journal culprit is - the loser.

And why won't pictures paste in the messege box I tried!

ONLY NICE THINGS

21:56 / 14.04.03

And anyone who can make that into English sentences by changing one letter per line gets a Blue Peter badge.

The idea that Jack Fear makes up these characters is getting more convincing by the moment.

Crimes_Of_Fashion

22:00 / 14.04.03

Now who wants to hear my theory on the ridiculosly serious cliqueism and oligarchy of this place- I think it's applicable.

And poo I just read the FAQ for the first time - This place is a comic book thing - So Ive grossly misinterpreted the theme of the joint.

I had this place down for some kind of post modernism\pop culture thing - my mistake - it also explains why the place needs a 'comic' section and why its so popular. So unless posts have relevence to the latest issue of barbelith they don't fly with the locals - understood.

Fuck, huh?

Tryphena Absent

22:11 / 14.04.03

I'm half inclined to find this amusing and then there's the part of me screaming about the incredible tedium of things always cycling round.

The general pattern seems to be that a new and slightly trollish member appears and gets in to an argument with Haus. The new member is suddenly able to engage in a facility whereby they ignore everyone except Haus and go on about how Haus thinks he's different. We all join in for a little while and get a bit pissed off with new member, Jack Fear's acid scares me again and I hope I never get on his bad side, the arguments go on for an average of three pages and unsurprisingly Haus wins because he's better at being a tosser (but our resident tosser). The new person either conforms to the general last-person-picked-at-sport ethic of the board or leaves but always realises that Haus... is different and that Head Shop is a serious forum for concise discussion but you can mention strange little cultural artefacts without getting yelled at. *Sigh*- yup, tedious.

ONLY NICE THINGS

22:16 / 14.04.03

W00T! Bang on schedule, we have our angry accusation of cliquishness, using a new and exciting we-don't-need-no-steeneking-language-skeelz neologism. Next up, the conspiracy theories, the explosive spamming of the board, the kicking off, the returning in a series of unconvincing false noses, and so on.

Crimes, you are describing a very well-worn path - arrival, chagrin that everyone does not bow down before your big sexy clever, increasingly badly-spelled ranting about how Barbelith has disappointed you and, ultimately, transformation into a running joke. There is probably still time to pull out of the flat spin and start contributing something useful. Maybe you could read a bit further into the FAQ and find out a bit more about the origins and aims of the board, and go from there. Or you could just go from here.

We're all here for you, Crimes. We all want to see you spread your wings and become a beautiful shining butterfly. Oh yes we do.

22:21 / 14.04.03

*looks at watch*

Almost time for Haus and I to merrrge...

Crimes_Of_Fashion

22:32 / 14.04.03

*Laughing hysterically* so this is your life?!?! It’s a chat board - there shouldn’t have residents - it should apply to the same attrition rate of the rest of the internet whereby people get bored and find some new thing to do - is it a satisfactory life ? : - new user - regulars dominate the new user - feel less bad about real life failings? In the time you've been sitting here I’ve been out and had an amazing time with my girlfriend and her friends – seen a real live tiger and bought more items to fulfill my role as a consumer - So really who's really losing out on the deal - I mean sitting on a chat board or seeing the sun - no competition - It's funny that you'd have anything to say about life at all being yours is entirely textual (is that a word? do i care?) I think it's time you went outside - have your mom pour you a nice big glass of lemonade and go find a tree to sit under.

Yes, I'm lit again but dosn't it give a certain dynamic to the shit I spout?

And my spelling? really, your getting desperate.

Tryphena Absent

22:36 / 14.04.03

(I'm looking at Ganesh in a slightly alarmed manner)

I mean why do you have to fall in to the same boring pattern anyway? Look at the moderation, isn't it obvious no one's on a screwy lame power trip? Why the hell do you have to think inside the box and flame like everyone else before you anyway? Hmmm? Why can't you be different?

Tryphena Absent

22:39 / 14.04.03

And why won't you just go away?

Crimes_Of_Fashion

22:50 / 14.04.03

Then you could get back to your same poisonous routine - I have to save you from yourselves.

ONLY NICE THINGS

22:50 / 14.04.03

No, Crimes, it doesn't give you a dynamic. It just makes you incomprehensible, robs you of full stops and cements the impression that you are screaming, crying, and wetting yourself.

Let's try to explain this one more time. You may, for all we know, have spent the day masturbating into a pair of your mother's knickers. You may be ugly, stupid, boring. Your girlfriend may be imaginary, or a 76-year old woman from Boise, Idaho who is a bit confused but very mobile for a senior citizen. You can claim to have a better life than other people until your little head turns purple, and it will be utterly meaningless. If your real life is so perfect, why, we ask ourselves, are you neurotically responding to one of those ugly, unathletic, living-with-their-mothers scumdogs who dare to disagree with you? Because perhaps deep down, somewhere in the tapioca pudding of your little brain, you are not living quite the magical life that you claim. Who knows?

If your best shot, after 50-odd posts, is to go back to claiming superiority in utterly unprovable areas, then "dynamic" is hardly the word we're looking for.

22:55 / 14.04.03

I have to save you from yourselves.

Hahahahahahahahaha *laughs wildly*

No...no...thank you....*spits coffee all over keyboard*...no really...it's fine.

Tryphena Absent

23:04 / 14.04.03

Yeah, tapioca pudding

!

Crimes_Of_Fashion

23:05 / 14.04.03

Your assumptions give you away my husky friend - there is a real world that exists whether you'd like to believe it's fiction or not - why don't you let this one go? You can't win them all surly your real world existence has taught you some amount of fatalism.

Maybe the board needs a new resident fat guy taking his fatty aggressions out on anyone that could threaten his little vacuum sealed digital existence - I bet Anna's waistline is up to the challenge.

ONLY NICE THINGS

23:08 / 14.04.03

He really doesn't get it, does he? It would be almost cute if it weren't so predictable. Still, the messiah stage did come a little early.

So, anyone want to be saved by Crimes? Anyone? Bueller?

Tryphena Absent

23:10 / 14.04.03

Hey everyone, I'm fat now!
Really fucking fat and poisonous! Yay!
And apparently I'm creating the routine and the same old, same old and not being forced in to it by someone who spends time goading people on message boards but hey, sweets, perhaps this fight will get good if I keep it up for long enough?

Tryphena Absent

23:13 / 14.04.03

And yes, slightly saddened that he's straying from the schedule- not only is the messiah stage early but he's attacking me? That's far too original for someone who accused me of being fat!

Crimes_Of_Fashion

23:16 / 14.04.03

I thought youd already decided that this was the routine of the messege board, Im a 'troll' and Haus has to save you all from me...

23:20 / 14.04.03

C-of-F, can I just ask in all seriousness what the point is for you here? I mean you really can't actually think people are finding you clever and funny, and please tell me you know you're not being highly intelligent and witty by calling people a/fat b/boring, c/poisonous and d/many other things but I really can't be bothered to go back through the posts.

Is it perhaps that you think you're being amusingly ironic or maybe you like the incongruity?

Or..or..bugger, can't someone just magick him away?

Crimes_Of_Fashion

23:24 / 14.04.03

I'm leaving losers you’ve ran out of coherent argument.

th-the-the he turned into th-the-the messiah and uh uh um he's the one that brought th-th-the meanness to th-the-the board.

You 'scared' away another one. Do all of the newbie trolls get the personal messages from other members of the board describing what a 'special' guy you are, Haus?

I'm going.

But youre all still here.

Think about that between happy meals.

23:28 / 14.04.03

...and please stop engaging Anna in (I want to say debate but that would be totally wrong) er...this, she should be finishing her dissertation. Sorry to have to break it to you but I think she might not want your God-like body and remarkably fine brain, she may actually only be using you as a diversionary tactic.

Tryphena Absent

23:29 / 14.04.03

You know, I think he really was scared and I really don't think he saw me.

23:30 / 14.04.03

Is it safe to come out now then?

Tryphena Absent

23:32 / 14.04.03

After I've yelled at Olulabelle for knowing exactly what's going on in my head. Am I really that predictable??

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