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Specific to this thread I would like to address the issue of rape fantasies as it applies to BDSM power dynamics.

Often many people of various sexual orientations experience the desire to be on one side or the other of a rape fantasy, even if it never extends beyond a mental imagining. Some people even have desires to switch the POV and role during these fantasies. A very insightful test is the role of secret receptiveness of the perceived 'victim' of the fantasy rape. Often the excitement/focus of the fantasy is based on the 'victim' secretly desiring the act or being forced to admit their pleasure in it. For those people for which this element MUST be present in order for the fantasy to erotically function it has been reasonably suggested that this fantasy is not a rape fantasy at all but a cloaked version of Dominance and submission using the common language and symbol structure of the larger culture. The key element is the fantasy requires a moment of consent, the willful moment of recognition that the 'victim' is deriving pleasure from the exchange, and perhaps is forced to accept their responsibility of participating in the act.

Within the BDSM community there is a huge amount of discussion regarding the enacted agreed upon power exchange, a subconscious/repressed passivity on the part of a player, and the real life horror of nonconsensual violence oriented rape.

While part of the power of a taboo is the transgression, I strongly encourage people who know they are attracted to the D/s exchange to examine the language they are using to represent their desires.

I personally have spoken with a very very large number of people about the confusion and guilt they perceive in their desire for rape, when in fact they aren't talking about nonconsensual violent rape at all. They are attracted to the roles of a D/s power exchange implicitly dependent on a form of consent.

The D imagines that moment of taking control and giving the sub exactly what they secretly desire, even if a struggle occurs. In this case the D is erotically focused on the moment of surrender when the sub, over come by the pleasure (which if you're a masochist could be pain derived), admits they needed/wanted the act to occur. The pleasure of being a D in this specific case is in delivering a righteous imbalance of power.
'You said no, but meant yes, and I forcibly gave you want you wanted.'

The sub imagines a powerful but attractive D ignoring the sub's objections/justifications/virtues/status and forcing an act. In this case the sub finds the act pleasurable or extremely satisfying in some way and must admit this to themselves if not also to the D.
'I said no, but really wanted it to happen or am now glad it did.'

There are people who are sexually aroused by nonconsensual violent rape. If these people seek consensual partners to role play with it maybe fair to say they are using an appropriate outlet for their desires. If they seek to enact their desires with non consenting parties, they are engaging in criminal behavior.
If a person enacts a Dominant imbalance of power to force another person WITHOUT prior consent for that exchange, they are engaging in criminal behavior.
This has lead to very detailed and explicit contracts between experienced BDSM players to ensure clarity regarding appropriate activities.

Part of the beauty of a respectful D/s exchange is the knowledge that one is choosing to participate. Arguably that moment of consent never truly stops happening. While one person maybe controlling the pattern of events outwardly, all parties are responsible for their experiences.

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