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INTERVENTION (PICS, NSFW depending on your workplace's attitude to fully-clad pictures either of Grant Morrison or of Ron Mael, depending on whether that moderation action goes through)

 
  

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iamus
15:14 / 09.01.09
Who was he apologising to though?

The questions I asked are emphatically not empty. In fact, they're about the best questions I could possibly think of asking you at this point in time, and I've come to terms with the fact over the past half a year that it really is my talent.

You don't have to answer them if you don't want. I am totally fine with that. But I would like it if you could tell me either way.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:24 / 09.01.09
Dude. You are far better at drawing than asking me questions, just for starters. Don't be hard on yourself.
 
 
iamus
15:24 / 09.01.09
You don't have to answer them if you don't want. I am totally fine with that. But I would like it if you could tell me either way.
 
 
Eek! A Freek!
15:30 / 09.01.09
I was apologizing to the board for posting a weak visual joke in the inappropriate forum.

O/T: Iamus - You work in comics? Which specifically? I ask because not only am I clueless about board members (I didn't realise Cameron Stewart was an artist either...) I'm out of the loop on comix in general since about 93 or so having stopped collecting and only buyiing a handful of TPB's since...You could PM me...BTT
 
 
iamus
15:35 / 09.01.09
I was apologizing to the board for posting a weak visual joke in the inappropriate forum.

Who is the board at this point in time, and what makes you think they frown on it?

You work in comics? Which specifically? I ask because not only am I clueless about board members (I didn't realise Cameron Stewart was an artist either...) I'm out of the loop on comix in general since about 93 or so having stopped collecting and only buyiing a handful of TPB's since...BTT

I wouldn't really say that I work in comics to be honest. I've helped out a bit here and there on some titles because of good positioning, but anything above self-published or small-press doesn't really interest me currently. I've got a few irons in the fire at the moment.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
15:47 / 09.01.09
Quantum's picture posts deleted at his own request.

Haus/iamus: I'm thinking it might be a good idea for both of you to step back a little here, take a few days away from this thread and then maybe come back at it with a fresh pair of eyes.
 
 
Eek! A Freek!
15:53 / 09.01.09
From the wiki:
This is also one of the areas of the board where we try and keep stuff neat and tidy - please, as little off-topic posting as possible. As one of the two ports of call for people looking for info on how the board works, how to format text, how to post images, etc. (the other being this here Wiki), threads in P&H generally serve a useful and important purpose - derailing or posting entirely off-topic messages in these threads makes finding the required information much more difficult.

Although it looks and sounds almost naive now, there may be people who look to Policy for exactly these reasons. OK, there aren't, but still... And by "the board" I mean any and all the members posting or lurking who are upset by the straying from the ideal paths.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:54 / 09.01.09
Randy: WHAT? And neglect questions of that quality? You must be mad, sir. That's my impression, anyway.
 
 
Quantum
16:01 / 09.01.09
The thread title is now flagging NSFW although the pics are gone, could a mod oh what am I doing just ignore it.
 
 
iamus
16:28 / 09.01.09
WHAT? And neglect questions of that quality? You must be mad, sir. That's my impression, anyway.

That's pretty easy humour. I notice that you've still failed to engage with them though, or state definitively that you are or are not going to answer them... just made fun of them.


With regards to the wiki, freektemple...

threads in P&H generally serve a useful and important purpose - derailing or posting entirely off-topic messages in these threads makes finding the required information much more difficult.

In this case, I am of the opinion that a fuckton of background to the relevant issues being discussed are contained in the offtopica. That's my opinion as a member of the board. I find that stuff to be actively useful in getting a more complete handle on the situation.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
16:43 / 09.01.09
Oy. I will answer them, although I probably should not, but in some cases that answer may have to take into account that the question is bad, or empty, or solipsistic. The impression that I am getting at the moment is that you are not emotionally equipped to deal with the idea that you are not the wise asker - just like pw btw - and that your response will thus involve more insulting speculation about my many, many failings. Which last set you have excused on the grounds that they were just your impression, man, even though from my memory of a span back when you decided to come to that conclusion the only searching questing for enlightenment so far had been "why". I find your conduct offensive and it gives me the impression that you will not be able to manage a non-offensive response to challenges to your imagings. I may be right or wrong, but it is the impression you have given me. You try to process that and how you might allay it. I am off to the pub.
 
 
iamus
16:55 / 09.01.09
The impression that I am getting at the moment is that you are not emotionally equipped to deal with the idea that you are not the wise asker

Maybe not. But to be perfectly honest, from the form on this thread, I'm getting the same from you.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
17:18 / 09.01.09
I did not ask. I am not invested in being the wise asker. I like my words too, but I also apply then to a purpose. You have again failed to take on board the empathic point. I found your "impression" insulting and prejudicial. I call nonsense on your defence. The fact that you respond with "well, so are you" does not suggest that you are equipped to feel me. why should I think there answers you are so invested in will receive a competent hearing? Give it a bit of empathic welly, old friend.
 
 
iamus
18:56 / 09.01.09
I'll do my best.

Here's the deal. I'll lay my cards on the table of what I am up to here, because now I feel we're both putting the power games to the side a bit and beginning to talk on level. I'm interested in getting to understand you better here, not win a point, and the way that I do that is different to the way that you go about understanding me. I think you are a very intelligent, illuminating, funny man, with an excellent grasp and interesting take on many things. But at the same time, you can have an incredibly oppressive and dominating personality when the mood takes.

I think you have been absolutely indisepenable to Barbelith. You've got a total sense of the history of the place and your presence has been one of the major factors in the incredibly high standards it has. However, I do feel that without the context of either the ubertrolls to play against, or swathes of people you would class as being up to your standard of discourse, Barbelith doesn't challenge you very much, but probably frustrates you a great deal.

You're right in that the way I've been engaging with you here has been intended to frustrate a bit. But it's not frustration for frustration's sake. I work by the interplay of two things. What I expect, and the result I receive back. As long as these two remain synched, then I will plow ahead regardless. When they separate, it means I'm in a situation where there is learning to be done and it's time to think on my feet and revise my opinions. That weird, uncertain space is where I'm at my most effective. When I operate like this, I am a very fast learner. I say that because my expectations of how quickly and how well I pick things up have continually been far, far exceeded by the results over the past two, very strange years of my life.


So. What I don't have is an expectation of who you are. What I do have is an expectation of how you will act if I engage you. That is built up over a long, long period of watching you speak on Barbelith. I've been on the wrong side of that before, and I have watched it happen to others (who may or may not have deserved it) many times as well.

The deal is that for the most part of our conversation, how you have acted in response to me was completely in sync with my expectation of how you would. The reason I asked about the Grant Morrison buy-out idea is that for whatever reason, sorry to say, I was expecting exactly that to come out of your fingers. That's by no means the only time it's happened in the past few pages.

This never used to be the case.


I feel I have gotten familiar with your techniques of argument. The logic traps you get people stuck in, the ways you undercut opinions through humour or by being offhand dismissive, the way you focus in on some things but ignore others, the way you set things up as being obviously true when there's really no such thing. I would not dare to have the confidence to say that if the back and forth we had just had both in my head and on the screen had not been so startlingly similar.

I believe that you thrive in situations with codified rules of engagement, while I'm the total opposite. I know that you did fencing, I'm sure you must have debated once or twice in your youth. What I've been attempting over the past few pages is a bit of push and pull. I'm deliberately dancing around the way you would like me to act because I'm trying to see if I can get you to act in a way that divorces my opinion of you from my experience of you, and the same you to me (though only you can comment on the effectiveness of that, as I would need to be you to reconcile my opinion and experience in that case). It's only when that starts happening that I feel any talking we do is actually talking.

There's a reason I'm doing this with just you. It's no just that I fancy ye a wee bit or anything. It has everything to do with my perceived problems with the board.

Hopefully the biggest assumption that I'm going to make here, and I am more than happy to have you refute it, is that you have become totally entrenched in the system of Barbelith and in the board's current state it's strangling both you and it. You've set yourself up in this position over a long period of time. It's not been a conscious thing, but a necessary one. Many legendary threads you've been a part of, relationships with other respected posters, titanic tussles with Knodge or The Greenland Posse, and probably most importantly, the disappearance of the board's now absent father have left you in a position of respected authority you've just sort of ended up in. The board works entirely differently now to the way it did when you formed your modes of engagement with it though, and I don't think the one you are now stuck in is doing you any favours. I don't think you think that either.

As the board has withered and most of the community has left, you have become by far the dominant voice on Barbelith and like it or not, what you say has a large impact on what people do and how they think when they are on here. I posed the questions to freektemple because, through a combination of your long term of service and people's unwillingness to grapple with you, you pretty much speak with the Voice Of Policy. That's totally not by your fault or design, but it's dangerous to the place and even moreso to you. Because while you talk with the Voice Of Policy, you don't talk with the Voice Of Truth. You talk with your own. Plain and simple.

I'd wager that the unwilled entanglement of those two is currently pissing you off a great deal.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
23:20 / 09.01.09
Dude, I don't think anyone else was playing power games. The history of Barbelith is littered with people who have essentially claimed that they cunningly mented others into doing their will using their mentalism, and it has rarely gone well.

In this case, I think, it's gone particularly badly because you have fallen into Dummheit, which is not exactly foolishness as much as what happens when you think that your grasp on things is far, far better than that provided by the resources you have available to you. Most obviously, you have utterly and tragically misconstrued the emphasis of my comment, and your belief that this utter misunderstanding shows your ability to understand... well. It's a bit of a mess, although you've certainly identified some of the top-level stuff.

Thank you for the nice comments, though. I'l try to help out with the complexities tomorrow. It's too late and cold tonight.
 
 
iamus
23:22 / 09.01.09
No, it's alright.

I'm about done.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
00:17 / 10.01.09
Ach, and now that little bit of turny-heel drama means that I have to do this now. Fine, fine.

The thing is, you totally misunderstood, as far as I can tell, the tone of my comment, and then took that to be a sign of how able you were to predict what I was going to say. I've covered a couple of times now where it seems that you are not so interested in what people actually say rather than what you think they might or should have said - going back to wifegate, I suppose, and ringgate, and so on - and I imagine that you wanted me to be dismissive so much that you read it that way. Sadly, though - and we've wasted a lot of energy on this, now - that wasn't the case. Likewise freektemple, as it happens, who quoted the wiki on why frivolous picture posts might be frowned on, in the face of which you are still insisting that it was his disproportionate fear of me that made him apologise. I'm not Jack Palance in Shane, you know. And, rather more importantly, so does everyone else. I'm one of two people who have some sway in who gets banned, to a limited degree. I have some control over admissions, or did until Life Critic tipped me over the edge of despair. Beyond that, nothing, really. Whatever respect or lack thereof comes from how I am acting. As you said not so long ago:


I'm only interested in what somebody is saying now, not what they have said in the past. I'm just as likely to agree with something dark horse has said if I perceive it to have value than I am with something said by anyone else.


So, yes. The idea of Morrison buying the domain name. It seems that you thought that that was some sort of sarcastic dismissal (although you have upbraided me before for responding to what you have said, rather than what you meant but did not actually say, so I guess that might happen again shortly). Sadly for your Hauscognitive powers, it was no such thing. It's a very good idea, which I'm amazed I hadn't thought of before.

Think it through. Tom Coates is clearly not in a position to manage the forum as it stands. The technology base is knackered. The equity it has lies in the quality of the archives. However, many of those who wish to join have no real investment in that equity. They have googled, they want a fan community and this is the closest they can get, and they are then surprised and upset when it turns out not to be a fan community. So, why not _make_ it a fan community? The old stuff gets archived. A new board is set up on the same URL. The google presence of barbelith.com ceases to be an issue. It can become whatever a Grant Morrison fan forum ought to look like, and can be moderated by people who are eager to moderate the site and have power to do so.

Tom is no longer saddled with a decaying community he doesn't have any time to care about, but also gets to hand it over in a kind of tiny IPO. The moderators are no longer saddled with performing first aid with a trowel, because there are new moderators in a new community with a functional code base (a) and none of the stuff about higher standards of discussion that causes angst here at present (b). The archives may or may not stlll be online, but ether way are not immediately accessible - Google links route through to the home page. And, yes, I get to rest and maybe take a nice holiday. I've outlined my four change states for the future of Barbelith recently, but this would be an optimal fifth, and would allow a decent chunk of the current membership just to reenlist in a shiny and functional new forum more suited to their aims and its own name.

It's a shame that you read that as you did, but it's really not my fault; it sounds like you had a lot invested in reading things a certain way (and, you know, it's great that you've experienced great change in your life, but this investment in me having done what you wanted me to have done rather than what I actually did is straight out of 2005, and I don't really know how one goes about fixing it).

So, I don't know if the questions were part of the plan, but:

Why

See above, really.

Why that idea?

See above.

Why it is you think that it might be a viable alternative?

See above.

What do you think Grant's opinions on the site are? What is the image in your head of who he is and who his fans are that make that either likely or possible or relevant or even funny in any way?

And this is where the questions become empty rather than just a bit repetitive. I'm not trying to climb into Grant Morrison's head. I am thinking about Barbelith, the community. I'm not trying to horn in on your personal acquaintance; it just wouldn't be exciting in the same way for me, or I suppose for GM, so there's not a lot of point.


Who is trying to give the impression that it's where the grown-ups are?

Who are the grown-ups and how do they act?

How is it that grown-ups solve issues of board policy?


These are also a bit empty. Freektemple himself quoted the wiki on posting etiquette in the Policy, and I think that deals pretty well with these. However, since then Quantum's post has got me thinking about the utility of trying to make any sort of serious attempt to maintain standards. Quantum's post was actually pretty awesome, and certainly worth more than a picture. It didn't try for a big pay-off down the line, or to ment out a reaction, but it stated clearly and comprehensibly a position with which I might not currently agree, but which I can certainly understand (I've seen good people go some variety of feral before, after all).

So, yeah. I think the entire menting thing is a bit of a failure, but on the plus side this means that my actions and your expectations did indeed diverge wildly - you just didn't notice it. Hopefully this can be retroactively productive.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
00:34 / 10.01.09
That said:

Hopefully the biggest assumption that I'm going to make here, and I am more than happy to have you refute it, is that you have become totally entrenched in the system of Barbelith and in the board's current state it's strangling both you and it.

Sure. I think I've said that, haven't I? That the work is exhausting and ultimately evanescent in its effects, but nobody is really minded and/or competent to take it over. I don't think that's a controversial statement, but I certainly wouldn't disagree with it - except that it's hardly strangling Barbelith, really. Minor state changes don't affect Barbelith - why do you think people are calling for it to be shut down? Because it's a major state change. Oh, and I'd question "entrenched". Entrenching is what you do with an entrenchment tool in advance of an enemy assault. I think "stuck" would work, or "lodged". So, with corrections a yes.
 
 
iamus
00:36 / 10.01.09
You're an interesting man, Haus.

I'd very much like to be able to look you in the eye when you speak.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
00:49 / 10.01.09
(Although it wouldn't be a mini-IPO, really - I put that in because it sounds cool, and because IPOs are, or at least were, the most desirable way to sell up your idea.)
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
01:14 / 10.01.09
I'm not really gonna make any friends here, but reading back over the last page, nobody involved comes out looking good except E. Randy Dupre, who seems to have more sense than both of you put together.

I'm sorry, but if this is how the grownups argue, then I want to be seven years old forever, because, for fuck's sake, this is REALLY STUPID. This may seem like a titanic battle of wits between the pair of you, but to this observer at least, it's really not. It's really fucking stupid.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
01:35 / 10.01.09
I wasn't really thinking of it in terms of a battle, actually, Stoats. Titanic or otherwise.
 
 
Proinsias
02:22 / 10.01.09
Disagreement on the Titanic?

It did seem rather rich, white, male and broken from the bits of the movie I've seen.
 
 
Closed for Business Time
10:31 / 10.01.09
Not a bad idea to offer GM the domain, methinks. As long as the new incarnation was physically severed from the present one, and this could be accessible as an archive not necessarily via barbelith.com.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
12:26 / 10.01.09
Maybe we should just let the archives thing go - I mean, TBH, the dozen or so people who would really want to go through them could just get a zip file of the whole site as part of the handover process.

Light of day - yeah, Stoats, I agree that that was all a bit ghastly, although my defence for my uneven tone and frequent typos was that I was doing it by mobile (with cold, cold fingers). But I confess that I find the approach adopted to be a bit counterproductive - to be a power game, in fact. I mean, you think that you are having a conversation, if a rather bad-tempered one, but actually somebody is being deliberately frustrating to show their power to make you feel frustrated, and then sees you fall wholly into their trap by doing something which they then say that they had expected you to do, post factum. A chap called netaungrot, who I think ended up getting banned, did basically this in the Temple a good while back:

It sure doesn't seem like I missed the mark at all as you ate it up hook, line and sinker and helped facilitate my outcome: getting you to clarify your position and put some sparks in this thread.

Another motivation was to give an example of a mild psychological attack which I presumed you had the skills to not only demonstrate an effective neutralization of, but to also comment on the process for the benefit of this thread's interested parties.


I said to him then:

Just for future reference, it's only impressive when you say "ah-hah! My intention was not, as it appeared, to insult/annoy/belittle you, but to drive you on to better things... like Mr. Myagi. And see! You have done exactly what I expected you to..." if you have first written down the exact response you intend to elicit and sent it to a trusted professional by registered post to arrive before the other person responds, and then have them open up the description live on TV. Otherwise you're kind of claiming credit for causing Brownian motion by confusing the smoke particles with your mental mental mentalism.

And Seth said:

Your current claim that you had an outcome and sought to poke me until you got it is also at odds with the respect you claim to have. You could have just asked me to clarify myself on the various points you were interested in, or made your point in other ways which would have got a response. That would have achieved the outcome as stated. Instead you got personal and now claim you did it for my own good and the good of the thread. How do you expect people will feel about you as a result of using these kind of tactics when others would have worked better and been kinder?

And I think the whole process is quite instructive. It's very easy, as Quantum mentions, to grief on the Internet, and whether that griefing is for noble motives or not, it is still griefing. I'd actually go further, and suggest that if your methodology requires griefing you probably need to think about your motive, and whether its end justifies.

In this case, a mistaken impression led to a solid page of apparently intentional griefing, which I correctly identified as motivated by a desire other than for simple elucidation, and thus responded to guardedly, which ultimately meant that iamus missed out on the departure of expectation and event which would apparently have stimulated a state of hypercognition. With a bit of luck, it's not too late for that to happen. So, the motivations as expressed were perfectly noble, but the execution was pretty dreadful, and led to us getting bogged down.

I don't know if the wish that he could look in my eyes means that he's more committed to the idea that he was totally menting the situation throughout than to the idea that I was providing a constructive response, and that he has chosen to believe that I am now telling lies about that initial response. I think that would be a shame. Ultimately, though, I think it's time to move on.
 
 
iamus
13:15 / 10.01.09
I wasn't thinking of it as a battle either, but I think you are right, Stoats.

Apologies, all.
 
 
iamus
14:25 / 10.01.09
The way I have gone about this has probably been particularly unhelpful, but I am trying now to steer something I want to say (which is very easy to take as a personal attack) around that wherever possible.

Having come into contact with you before Haus, it has made me very wary of how I can say anything to you without it becoming something that I did not intend. I'm fully convinced that you could lay out to me the exact reasons why the moon is made of pastry weasels in such a way that I would have no option but to agree. This makes it very difficult for me to take anything you say at face value. I wholly, definitely, completely bring as much baggage to this as you do, and that's something I would like to clear out of the way. I am also very aware of the fact that the minute we start talking, it is informed, on both sides, by all the leftovers from previous encounters. It's certainly true of me due to my ability and willingness to bait you and act in a way I think will frustrate what I see as your normal modes of engagement, and it's certainly true of you due to your ability and willingness to bring up wifegate, ringate and single comments of "deep-seated issues" that I made years ago when I was a very different person.

I pushed and perpetuated what went on yesterday, and that was as much to do with getting myself to a point where I felt I can talk honestly to you as it does anything else. That's my ultimate aim, I'm not great at explaining it as I go, but it's got nothing to do with the behaviour of netaungrot, you or even Barbelith. It's something that has worked for me time and again in real life and turned many contentious relationships with people into something far more positive. I generally hate bellyaching. Sometimes it's better to vomit on the table and start clearing it up afterwards. My actions may look on the surface like those of netaungrot. But I am not netaungrot. Every person you meet is different from the one before. I find it unhelpful to dialogue for you to compare me to paranoidwriter, Life Critic, netaungrot or anyone who is not iamus, because it immediately puts me in a box I don't belong in. I would ask, please, in the spirit of trying to resolve things, that you don't do that any more. I'm aware I've been doing it to you just as much, and I promise I will do my best to stop.


I really do apologise, but I had to try my best to put you on the back foot for a bit to get a better sense of how it is I could resolve this for myself, because given half a chance, you would have tried to do it for me and I would have been back at square one. When you said my double standard was limiting your confidence, that was my cue to peel back and I didn't.

Haus, I really do think that you have more sway on the actions and feelings of people across Barbelith than you perhaps realise. I don't think at all that you are just somebody who passes people for entry, though that might be where the formal, technical side of your remit ends. Entrenched is a word I used consciously, because it's not just about your actions. It's about how you sit in other people's perceptions and there's a whole web of physical and mental stuff that ties you to the centre of the place.

These reasons are why the grown-up chat didn't sit right with me. Taken together with the "What funny things go on in those heads of yours" quote, actually quite perturbed me and made me wonder just how you are looking at the board and at other people's opinions.

Whatever was revealed there may not be a conscious, driving force behind how you act, but it was a statement you made very soon before stating that my actions were limiting your confidence in how to respond. In my continued experience, that points to something which is more fundamental to how individual people perceive their world than any amount of chat they can give when they're comfortable and know exactly who or what they are dealing with.

These people with the funny things going on in their heads are valuable members of Barbelith. What goes on in there is no less or no more funny than what goes on in yours or mine. It's no less or no more important to what the board is and how it functions than your opinions or my opinions.

For that reason, my opinion of your place on Barbelith should be taken on board with as much seriousness as your own. Darkstallion's opinion on your place on Barbelith should be taken as seriously as your own. +#'s, - names' opinion of your place on Barbelith, as expressed in the Morrison documentary thread, should be taken as seriously as your own. Ermintrude, Randy, grant, Quantum and anyone else's opinion on your place on Barbelith should be taken as seriously as your own. One of the most important things I live by is that not being you can often give you a very useful perspective on being you.

For my part, you'll never know just how much I have learned from you over the years on this place. For very different reasons, you're tied top-place with grant.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
17:15 / 10.01.09
Who else is FEELIN' THE LURVE right now?

Seriously, thanks both of you for calming down.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
21:13 / 10.01.09
For that reason, my opinion of your place on Barbelith should be taken on board with as much seriousness as your own. Darkstallion's opinion on your place on Barbelith should be taken as seriously as your own. +#'s, - names' opinion of your place on Barbelith, as expressed in the Morrison documentary thread, should be taken as seriously as your own.

This really isn't true, though. I mean, you can take them seriously, certainly, examine them, turn them over - but ultimately Darkstallion is a joke suit, +#' name is bouncing douchey accusations of trolling around and so on. You can't treat every opinion as equal, because they are not of equal merit to this community. Anyone can decide how much merit they feel my opinion has, or yours, or anyone else's.

You could say that one should take, say, MFreitas' opinion seriously, because it will be toxic and deleterious to the health of the board if promulgated, but I think that's more like treating it as serious rather than taking it seriously in the conventional sense. Working out whose opinions should be treated as serious and worth serious consideration allows one to focus attention on good content.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
22:01 / 10.01.09
Incidentally, the funny little heads thing, I can reassure you, does not suggest a blanket dismissal of every opinion here. It was directed purely at you, and specifically at your statement: I'm asking why to your buy-out idea, because my impression is that it was a non-sequiter made specifically to undercut something that happened to me upthread, that for whatever reason, you are uncomfortable with. Which seemed at the time entirely random. Still does, to be honest, unless it was part of the attempt to frustrate. The plural usage was a polite convention to avoid singling you out, but nothing else in the previous pages had come anywhere near that degree of loopiness. So, if it helps, that wasn't dismissive of opinions generally, but specifically of the opinion that the thought of you talking to somebody made me uncomfortable and made me seek to undercut it by... suggesting an exit strategy for Barbelith.

I still don't really know what you were doing there. It was a weird and unreal statement, and I don't know if it was meant to be part of the griefing process. As I've said, I think it highlights the dangers of this predictive model - without mentioning anyone else (although, really, when people appear to be repeating patterns that have not previously ended well, I do think it can be a real timesaver to mention it) I can still say pretty clearly that your preconceptions there severely damaged your chances of understanding what I was actually saying, and so kicked off this stressful detour. Likewise, I don't know what is meant by You're an interesting man, Haus.

I'd very much like to be able to look you in the eye when you speak.


And no clarification has been forthcoming. This sort of thing doesn't put me on the back foot, really. It just kind of annoys me, because it's not progressive. It's about interpersonal drama rather than about Barbelith, and it's certainly not on topic, except insofar as it might demonstrate that even the Policy is essentially a place where middle-class white men focus on what is important to them, in this case their relationships with other middle-class white men.

So, yes. The intention of all of this was apparently to reach a point where you were able to speak honestly. I hope we've reached that point now, and I'm all ears. I will do my best not to do anything pastry-weaselly. What do you want to say, honestly?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
22:23 / 10.01.09
Too many adverbs in that last para. Wasn't intended to sound piss-taking. Bit sleepy. Apols.
 
 
iamus
00:50 / 11.01.09
Ach. I think I've done my public Barbelith posturing now, and this should be taken to PMs.

Sorry folks. Sometimes embarrassing things lurk within, and need to come out with the least restraint possible if you want to understand and get past them. Hope the mess isn't too much of an inconvenience and I will hopefully make up the shortfall elsewhere.

Haus. Will PM tonight or tomorrow as I'm a wee bit drunk. All as straight as possible from here on in.
 
 
iamus
01:24 / 11.01.09
Barbelith and my real life are very closely linked at the moment and have been crossing back and forth for a while in more ways than I'd care to name. There was a big spike over the last two days and the interference shot up my arse.

I will say though...

It's about interpersonal drama rather than about Barbelith, and it's certainly not on topic

Interpersonal drama is always the thing I've loved the most about Barbelith because topics have no life without the ups and downs of the people behind them. Biggest thing that's missing from the place at the moment, I reckon.
 
 
Anna de Logardiere
09:11 / 11.01.09
Yes please do take this to PM, this has been kind of gross.
 
 
iamus
14:22 / 11.01.09
Oh Ermintrude. Geez a big hug, then.

Look! I've wiped the snotters from my nose and everyfin!
 
  

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