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Discussion of the behaviour of Deus est Daemon Inversus [Formerly "Mordant's Personal problems in Temple"]

 
  

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Daemon est Deus Inversus
01:19 / 21.05.06
Yes, I would like to stay. I do enjoy reading a high level of inter-active conversation on a variety of subjects; and, I also think that I can, to some extent, contribute. I also welcome an atmosphere where one can pretty much, within reason, express (and get feedback on) any idea that one might have. It's very rare, I think, probably because most of the people one normally interacts with fall into one or another compartment of one's life, to have that opportunity. It's also a place which appeals to the less rigid, eclectic side of me I've always found somewhat difficult to express.

In a very real sense, though I apologize for the time this has taken, I am glad that whatever lingering issues existed at least came out in the open. I also, in retrospect, realize that I have an overly combatative reaction to sarcasm.
 
 
Jake, Colossus of Clout
03:14 / 21.05.06
Thanks for apologizing to me, too, DEDI. I'm a bit of a headstrong dude, myself, and I get a bit of the same natural reaction to sarcasm.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
21:25 / 21.05.06
Dedi, I accept your apology. I sincerely hope that we can now put all this behind us and move on.
 
 
Jack Denfeld
01:22 / 22.05.06
Dedi, I accept your apology. I sincerely hope that we can now put all this behind us and move on.
And not get taken to court by you.
 
 
Jub
12:37 / 22.05.06
A witticism from Penfield? Whatever next?
 
 
SteppersFan
16:22 / 22.05.06
As an occasional poster to Temple I'm delighted that this issue appears to have been settled and that DEDI did the decent thing. And MC truly has the patient of a saint.
 
 
Tom Coates
07:14 / 23.05.06
Is there anything going on here that I need to know about? Sorry - VERY busy at the moment so running around like a bastard.
 
 
iconoplast
17:11 / 23.05.06
No, I think tempers have cooled, apologies were made and (it seems) peace has returned to the 'lith.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
18:01 / 23.05.06
Although you did miss the rare (though welcome) occasion where someone actually apologised without chucking in "disclaimers" or "caveats" or any of that shit. This thread started out depressing, but now my cockles are feeling a few degrees warmer than they were beforehand.
 
 
Spaniel
18:11 / 23.05.06
It's my hope that Dedi's antics were at least in part tied to misunderstanding the culture of the board, and what constitutes appropriate behaviour. Hopefully some of that's been cleared up and we can get on with business.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
18:28 / 23.05.06
I'm okay with the situation as long as we don't see a recurrance of this kind of thing. Dedi's apologised and seems willing to try and engage more constructively.
 
 
Daemon est Deus Inversus
19:25 / 24.05.06
Mordant,

This is the second, or perhaps the third time, that you have used "to engage" in this thread. When I first saw it, and it was admittedly my own quirk, my reaction was that it sounded a lot like: "V Corps has engaged the enemy at the X paralel." We are, indeed, divided by a common language.

Well, frankly, though Haus says it has "evidentiary" evidence, I am a bit embarrassed by the title of this thread. Again, I repeat my apologies to you and Jake.

I was wrong. There is no question of that. While I may have been someahat provoked, and while what I said was more in the lines of "Damn your eyes" or "Take a running jump straight to Hell" than in any offence beyond that, my conduct was not acceptable.

There is one thing that does concern me. Illmatic has hinted that he has in his possession evidence that would have made all this discussion moot; and, in a subsequent message, that he would not publish it because it would "embarrass" me. While Haus has stated that evidence "extrinsic" to Barbelith should not be considered, this is, while meant with the best of intentions, not fair to me.

I joined this list under my own name and motto, one under which I am attacked almost daily in alt.magick or on various Yahoo groups. When I first posted in Temple, a Barbelith poster answered, "Oh, God, it's Jorge." I would respectfully ask that any such information that Illmatic has be- in fairness to me- be made public.

I hope that, despite these past disagreements, I may in future contribute to Temple under your moderatorship.
 
 
Jake, Colossus of Clout
19:31 / 24.05.06
It's water under the bridge to me. I appreciate the apology. It's impossible for me to stay pissed off for more than a little while, anyway.

Illmatic- I don't think it's unreasonable to PM DEDI the info you have. The whole lot of us don't need to see it, but it seems fair to share it with him.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
19:43 / 24.05.06
DEDI, any known information is available via google. If you have a problem with it being public you need to contact google or the moderators of any message boards that you feel are unjustly slating you.

We won't ban people because they have problems within other spaces, only because of their actions on barbelith. Public information will be taken into account to an extent if someone is creating consistent problems because barbelith has had problems with habitual trolls but you can be assured that your behaviour will always be the point on which you are judged here and your apology means a lot.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
19:50 / 24.05.06
Dedi--ah, I see. I tend to use engage in the sense of interact or take part in (to engage in conversation) rather than its other meaning of attack. Sorry for any confusion.
 
 
Daemon est Deus Inversus
21:48 / 24.05.06
Jake,

The whole point is that there is not a whole lot for anyone to see. If there is, and I don't care, please write FloridaBar.Org and complain about licensee 0100511.

Thanks, always, Anne and Mordant. And, if anyone wants to start a new thread, maybe it should be about why- when I felt threatened- my reaction was sexist.
 
 
Daemon est Deus Inversus
21:53 / 24.05.06
Jake, I wrote that quickly (like usual), I meant, "Illmantic should write..." Thank you for accepting my apology.
 
 
illmatic
08:36 / 25.05.06
Dedi, the stuff I found about you was on alt.magic.com where you do indeed have a lot of "bad press". While I accept Haus's and Anna's points that you should be judged on your behaviour here, I felt that it was unlikely that you would have got through the membership process if the person checking your membership was aware of these conflicts/slanders.

As I saw it, you'd engaged in disagreements here, been insulting and hadn't responded to criticism. Google throws up evidence of you being involved in conflicts elsewhere. Rights and wrongs of this conflicts aside (they sound to me so bitter and involved its probably impossible to get a handle on them from outside), I was making a connection between the two. I would certainly have been happy to continue argue for your banning here on this basis, had you not apologised. As Anna said, this means a lot.
 
 
Daemon est Deus Inversus
10:01 / 25.05.06
I don't know Mr. Coates, but you certainly must have a very low opinion of his intelligence if you forwarded that crap to him.

I knew from the start from where your mysterious information came from; and the game you were playing. May I mention that this is a new low?
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
10:05 / 25.05.06
You can mention that, if you want to take the benefit of the doubt you recently re-earnt, scrunch it up, throw it in the bin, and put on a t-shirt that reads "Hostile Pomposity".
 
 
illmatic
10:26 / 25.05.06
I didn't think you'd be happy with it - which is why I restrained from posting it. As I said, I don't know how true or false any of it is but in conjunction with your prior posts it created, for me, a negative perception of you. It's the "in conjuction" thats important there - if you'd come across to me as a postive/funny/lovely (insert positive epithet of choice) poster, I'd have disregrded that information in a heartbeat, should I have come across it. As others have said, its your behaviour here that is important, and your attitude towards Mordant and others in the latter paart of this thread counts for a great deal.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
10:36 / 25.05.06
Whoa--I don't think there's any need for this to devolve into hostility, towards Illmatic or anyone else. Nobody's playing any game here, Dedi. You're not being attacked. As has been pointed out, the fact that you were prepared to apologise and acknowledge the inappropriateness of your comments counts for a lot more than what may or may not have happened or been said elsewhere.
 
 
Daemon est Deus Inversus
10:59 / 25.05.06
Fair enough.
 
 
rising and revolving
13:15 / 25.05.06
Dedi, the stuff I found about you was on alt.magic.com where you do indeed have a lot of "bad press".

Not cool. For a whole bunch of reasons, but mainly because 90% of the stuff on alt.magic is posted through anonymous accounts and is slander. Each group attacks the other though mis-information. It's pure evil and most people consider "alt.magic" as shorthand for "complete bullshit"

Now, that's not to say that DEDI doesn't have his flaws (I was responsible for the "Oh god it's Jorge" - and mainly because I was concerned about bringing alt.magic style crap here.

So, I might not defend him on much, but bringing alt.magic into this is like reading about Clintons bat-child in the Weekly World News and trying to bring it as evidence in the impeachment.
 
 
illmatic
13:37 / 25.05.06
I wasn't aware of that. My apologies to Dedi, then.
 
 
Daemon est Deus Inversus
13:57 / 25.05.06
Thank you.
 
 
Quantum
14:51 / 25.05.06
I am very pleased this has been resolved politely, and just wanted to chime in with others saying it's your behaviour here that matters, and apologising made a big, big difference.
*note to self* never go to alt.magic it sounds like magical hell.
 
 
Daemon est Deus Inversus
15:05 / 25.05.06
Q.i.D. wrote,
"*note to self* never go to alt.magic it sounds like magical hell."

Yes, well, a year or so ago- for some reason I never figured out- am had all these threads on Heidi Klum. It's gone steadily down from there.

May I request that, after a suitable lapse of time, say a day or so, someone lock this thread so that we can move on?
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
16:09 / 25.05.06
Yeah, I think we've pretty much finished here, eh? We can lock, index and ghost the thread, and go and have a cup of tea.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
09:25 / 03.05.07
OKey - I'm bumping this thread, because I think it makes sense to put all the discussion in one place, and because I think this thread provides useful context. However, it's worth taking a look at the thread FAble of the Bees starte on the same topic.

Normally we would start a new-and-neutral banning thread, as Fable quite correctly intended to do, but I believe that in this case there is a special circumstance. To wit 1) this current outbreak is tyhe continuation of a discussion put on ice last year and 2) Mordant/TTS does not apparently actually expect a ban, but rather wants a commitment to changed behaviour, thus:

I'd quite like to see Dedi banned, but I realise that's going to be hard to swing so I'm prepared to settle for taking a quietly vigilant approach, dealing with Dedi's unacceptable posts in an appropriate way: that is to say, without undue aggression, but with an eye on the sensibilities of people who may feel quite severely attacked and oppressed by this abusive poster.

As previously stated I do not expect meaningful communication with Dedi to occur; I'm more interested in mitigating the damage he can do by challenging his biased and ignorant comments.


So, there may actually be a case for reopening the banning thread later, if it turns out that somebody actually wants to ban ban him, if you see what I mean. At the moment, though, I looked at this thread and saw that there was a swell of support for a banning, which then tailed off into a discussion about libel and was resolved by an agreement not to take this any further. In that thread, Nina said:

Okay, so we're now in a place where someone has actually apologised for their actions and noted that we have a right to ban them should they behave in that way again.

and id entity said:

I'm not sure I need anything else from DEDI, actually— ze's essentially agreed to summary banning if ze does anything else unacceptable, as I read it.

In these terms, my key questions remain:

1) Is it true that the discussion on banning DEDI was put on ice conditional upon him ceasing to behave in the ways that lead to the discussion of him being banned in the first place?
2) If this is true, has this condition been broken?

If the answer to both of these questions is "yes", then we either need a banning thread or, arguably, don't even need a banning thread. If the end of this thread last time around resulted, in your opinion, in a clean slate, then we either need a banning thread or, more probably, could not justify a banning thread.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
10:10 / 03.05.07
Well, reading back over the thread very carefully I think not. Sadly. Dedi was sending abusive PMs, calling people's mothers whores, and making numerous false accusations against other posters. That's all bannable. Dedi agreed that all this was bannable and said that he'd stop doing it in exchange for not getting the boot. He seemed to twitch a lot at his alt.magic woes being brought up as evidential, but then calmed down again when it was agreed that alt.magic is a pile of crap.

I read into all of this an implied undertaking not to engage in a year's worth of just-under-the-radar trolling; more fool me, perhaps. However I can't see that the initial condition--don't do anything bannable and we won't ban you--has been broken.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
10:22 / 03.05.07
From Fable of the Bees' topic, now locked:

you would surely need to pull back a little to allow some time for those real, long-term changes you mention to make themselves visible. By definition, a long term change cannot happen over a short period of time, and so 'bringing it' to DeDI every time ze posts something that makes you uncomfortable / angry / eye-bleedy (replace with your preferred descriptor, if needs be) during the transition period you suggest is, by your own argument, unproductive.

I resent this because it fails completely to consider the enormous amount of patience and courtesy I've already extended to this man. I also resent the interpretation that I will be 'bringing it' to Dedi, when I was at some pains to indicate that I would be responding appropriately--that is, without undue aggression. I simply stated that I do not intend to make forgiving readings of Dedi's posts in future, will challenge harmful ideas where I see him express them, and will not feel restrained from bringing up any aspect of his past conduct if it is relevant. I think I've been more than fair to this person and I don't appreciate your attempt to paint me as an aggressor here.
 
 
grant
13:38 / 03.05.07
I simply stated that I do not intend to make forgiving readings of Dedi's posts in future, will challenge harmful ideas where I see him express them, and will not feel restrained from bringing up any aspect of his past conduct if it is relevant.

Sounds fair enough. I'm all for forgiving readings, but nothing in that statement really seems at all out of line or overly aggressive.
 
 
Quantum
14:08 / 03.05.07
When I said elsewhere I intend to bookmark his most recent post and next time he pops up (mid-June by my reckoning) ask him to engage with the board about it or bugger off what I should have said was I do not intend to make forgiving readings of Dedi's posts in future, will challenge harmful ideas where I see him express them, and will not feel restrained from bringing up any aspect of his past conduct if it is relevant.
Thanks Mordant.

a long term change cannot happen over a short period of time Fable of the Bees

But it's been a year. How long term are we talking?

I notice at the top of this page DEDI wrote I also welcome an atmosphere where one can pretty much, within reason, express (and get feedback on) any idea that one might have.
I think his perception of the board culture is quite different to mine. I welcome an atmosphere where one is not subject to the hatespeech, misogyny and offensive ideas other people have.
 
 
Evil Scientist
14:16 / 03.05.07
From the What exactly does get you banned on Barbelith? thread.

Archabyss: The biggest problem I have seen with DEDI and the others of similar material, is the fact they pop up very so often then post a load of stuff up, argue with people then disappear leaving other posters to argue. Then as suggested in previous posts they wait a few months and come back and so the same again and again.

I think this is a genuine concern where DEDI is concerned. There's a possibility that he's currently busy which is why he's not made any contribution to the recent multi-thread discussions about his behaviour. However there is also the possibility that he's just lurking and having a good old chuckle about this situation. We don't know, and he's not saying.

1) Is it true that the discussion on banning DEDI was put on ice conditional upon him ceasing to behave in the ways that lead to the discussion of him being banned in the first place?

Assuming he comes back and apologises I feel it would be reasonable to actually get an agreement from him that such a condition is put in place. Much as I'd like him gone I don't really believe that his "contributions" to the BDSM thread alone can be used to justify banning him. They're ignorant and massively content-lite.

If we do move to a banning discussion then are we going to use the pre-apology history of posts as a groundwork for chucking him? I personally think that it is fair for the site to have a policy that an apology will only protect you as long as you don't act up again. Does DEDI's post-apology posting warrent this?

I certainly think that any "benefit of the doubt" credits DEDI had have been used up now and that pointing out that his posts smell iffy is an entirely acceptable response.
 
  

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