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ELECTION NIGHT SPECIAL

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00:15 / 06.05.05

Yeah I agree, Alastair Campbell probably deserves some.......karma.

Ganesh

00:18 / 06.05.05

I'm disappointed the Motorcycle News Party haven't won more seats.

Ganesh

00:21 / 06.05.05

Liability Blair now bringing his stupid ham-actory diction to the lectern. More bumf about Historic Third (Don't Mention The War) Term Victory Let's Move On Blah Blah Pishcakes.

Tryphena Absent

00:26 / 06.05.05

Ooh, he said the word Iraq. That's a bad word.

Ganesh

00:34 / 06.05.05

Oona King lost to Galloway, apparently. In-te-resss-ting...

Hee hee...

Ruth Kelly's still in. Gadnamit.

Tryphena Absent

00:42 / 06.05.05

Every entity ever, I implore you, let Galloway have won that seat.

Bed Head

00:43 / 06.05.05

Arse. Davis.

Oh well, that’ll piss Michael Howard off, anyway.

Ganesh

00:45 / 06.05.05

Twiglet's gone.

Ganesh

00:50 / 06.05.05

Liability having to stand there and listen to Keyes' speech. Good.

Tryphena Absent

00:52 / 06.05.05

Okay, here's the plan, we install a dye so that everytime someone votes Conservative they go blue and then we can give them electroshock therapy to stop them from making such a dreadful mistake again.

Sax

00:57 / 06.05.05

Just got into the office after spending the past five hours breathing the same air as Nick Griffin. Not nice.

Ganesh

01:16 / 06.05.05

Liability's doing sincerity now. I'm waiting for the 'hand of history' soundbite.

Tryphena Absent

01:18 / 06.05.05

Not only did you have to breathe that air but I presume that you also had to look at that suit and incredibly bad posture? He's a vile man in so many ways.

Blair is making the most absurd speech at Trimdon.

Bed Head

01:18 / 06.05.05

Wooohoo! I can’t believe I missed this when it happened.

Nottingham East:

John Heppell, Labour 7,787 32.3
Issan Ghazni, Liberal Democrat 6,848 28.4

Taken my New Labour tub-thumping, war-mongering wanker of an MP in his ultra-safe seat with its 10,000 majority, and put him over a barrel for the next 4 years. That’s cheered me up. His new majority: 939. Better behave yourself, Heppell.

So has Bethnal Green been officially declared, or are they recounting and recounting?

Tryphena Absent

01:20 / 06.05.05

Recounting and recounting. I definitely can't go to bed until Bethnal Green's declared.

Ganesh

01:20 / 06.05.05

"Making the changes people in this country want..."

Well, 60-odd% of them want you gone, Tony. Piss off.

Tryphena Absent

01:22 / 06.05.05

.. luckily when I went to Portugal I left Haagen Dazs in the freezer. No milk, plenty of ice cream.

odd jest on horn

01:22 / 06.05.05

He'd better go mid-term. The bastard.

Tryphena Absent

01:22 / 06.05.05

Helps me bear the pain.

36% popular vote.

Charlie's the antidote to Blair's arrogance.

Ganesh

01:26 / 06.05.05

Well, it might encourage both Lib Dems and Tories to push for proportional representation...

Tryphena Absent

01:27 / 06.05.05

Oh fuck. Letwin's still in. My hopes are almost all dashed.

Baz Auckland

01:27 / 06.05.05

Oh! For proportional representation!

Ganesh

01:34 / 06.05.05

My hopes are almost all dashed.

Despite some disappointment that the Lib Dems didn't win more, I'm actually feeling moderately positive so far. At the very least, the diminished majority and clear detrimental effect of Blair's rush to war (particularly if Galloway has indeed won) might go some way to providing an effective opposition. The unpredictability of voting this time also suggests 'everything to play for' in the next four years - and the populace might be treated with a little more respect...

Bed Head

01:41 / 06.05.05

I'm also kinda optimistic. Mainly because it seems that lots of the Labour MPs who have been returned now only have teensy majorities keeping them from the dole queue. Fear! Fear for your jobs, Labour MPs! Listen to us or we’ll give your jobs to the Lib Dems next time.

Saving tonight’s proper JOY-moment for Bethnal Green, though.

Tryphena Absent

01:45 / 06.05.05

Oh the Tories will get in next time, cock everything up and be out after one term. At that time the old guard will get filtered out and the newer, rising members of the party will finally take over and find a third way. Perhaps.

Tryphena Absent

01:48 / 06.05.05

I am eloping to join the Church of Militant Elvis Party.

Baz Auckland

01:50 / 06.05.05

At least the Church of Militant Elvis got 116 votes in Erewash...

Baz Auckland

01:52 / 06.05.05

...ah you beat me to it! I like the look of that guy though...

Bed Head

01:52 / 06.05.05

Hah hahhhh. Kilroy. 2fuckingthousand. Please tell me that he looked sick as a parrot about it.

That was a fabulous presiding officer, too. He had some excellent candidates to read out: ‘church of the militant elvis party’ indeed.

Bed Head

01:53 / 06.05.05

...and, I take the bronze.

Baz Auckland

01:54 / 06.05.05

I have to say, I love how everyone has to stand up on the stage together, including the loonies and elivises... Here, you just have each candidate having a party at their headquarters while the results are tallied. Not as entertaining.

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*ELECTION NIGHT SPECIAL*

ELECTION NIGHT SPECIAL