| |
|
Or just read this:
You don't care about the fuss with Cuba, its a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans
You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada. You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day.
You know what a tuque is.
You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You live in a house with no front step but yet the door is one meter from the ground.
Your local paper covers the national news on 2 pages but requires 6 pages for hockey.
You know four seasons: winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
You perk up when you hear the theme from Hockey Night in Canada.
"EH" is a very important part of your vocabulary.
You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
You've plugged a car in overnight.
You've defended your property from trespassers with a hockey stick because you don't own a gun.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons
Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
You find -40C a little chilly.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You can play road hockey on skates.
You can drink legally while still a 'teen.
You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
You're not sure if the leader of your nation has EVER had sex and you don't want to know if he has!
You dismiss all beers under 6% as "for children and the elderly".
You have an Inuit carving by your bedside with the rationale, "What's good enough protection for the Prime Minister is good enough for me".
Like any international assassin/terrorist/spy in the world, you carry a Canadian passport
Back bacon and Kraft Dinner are two of your favourite food groups.
You don't feel the urge to purchase maple syrup at the airport.
When in Niagara Falls, you scoff at how pathetic the American falls are compared to the Canadian ones.
Thinks an income tax refund is a gift from the government.
When given a compliment, always looks behind to see for whom it is intended.
In a restaurant, apologizes for not being ready to order at the waiter's convenience.
Says "sorry" when you accidentally bump into him.
Considers turning up the thermostat an integral part of foreplay.
Says hi to anyone walking a dog. |
|
|
