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Underground > Creation >

Text Adventure Story

  
  

Page: 12(3)4

 
 
Tezcatlipoca
06:36 / 05.10.02
"Get pig" --> OK!

You go to pick up the pig, but your hands slip. The pig is covered in grease. You will need gloves to pick him up!

>examine pig
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
10:17 / 05.10.02
It's a pig, ferchrissakes! It looks up at you questioningly, and as it does so, you notice a tiny metal cylinder tied to its neck.

>open cylinder
 
 
w1rebaby
10:58 / 05.10.02
You haven't got the cylinder!

> get cylinder

I can't see any "cylinder" here.

> get tiny metal cylinder

I can't see any "tiny" here.

> get tiny metal cylinder tied to pigs neck

I can't see... okay, I was winding you up. You now have the cylinder.

> open cylinder
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
06:33 / 07.10.02
As you open the cylinder a tiny roll of paper falls out into your hand.

>read paper

It's rolled up!

>unroll paper

Ok!

>read paper
 
 
rizla mission
15:14 / 07.10.02
It's a miniature copy of The Brentford Mercury, dated May 16th, 2086.
Headline - "ROYAL SURGEON'S REPORT DEEMS GREEN PIG FEVER 'UNSTOPPABLE'!"

>read the cartoons
 
 
gridley
15:44 / 07.10.02
Andy Capp slaps his space wife. Ziggy looks down at the sky from the moon. Charlie Brown tries to kick a football and falls into a supercollider.

Oh losers of the world, will you ever win?

>read personals
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
15:54 / 07.10.02
You read the personals:
'Timmy. It's no use. We can't go on living this charade; our lives spelt out line by line, only to descend into confusion when we give the wrong command. Please let's call a halt. Call me. P.'
A telephone number is here.

>dial number
 
 
doglikesparky
17:53 / 07.10.02
An answer machine picks up...."Hi, I'm not here right now, leave a message..."

>Leave message
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
08:44 / 08.10.02
You are not carrying a message.

>say to phone help
 
 
cusm
17:14 / 08.10.02
Your cry for help falls on deaf ears. The phone ignores your pleas.

>pick up answering machine
 
 
gridley
17:31 / 08.10.02
I cannot see any "answering machine" here.

>fuck it
 
 
cusm
18:45 / 08.10.02
I don't know how to "fuck"!

>n
 
 
grant
19:05 / 08.10.02
It's dark in here. Careful, you might be eaten by a grue!

>wield flashlight
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
20:46 / 08.10.02
You wield the flashlight flinging wild, primordial shadows to the surrounding walls. On one wall there is a lever. A sign above it reads 'Warning. Do not pull. Risk of revolutionary uprising'.

>pull lever
 
 
cusm
21:08 / 08.10.02
The lever pulls with a tight grinding sound. Nothing seems to have happened.

Then, you begin to hear a noise. At first, a low growl of dissatisfaction, but soon it rises to a roar of revolutionary frenzy! The downtrodden rush into the room, weilding torches, baseball bats, and other improvised blunt and sharp objects.

"DOWN WITH THE MAN!" they cry. Mistaking you as one of their corporate oppressors, the mob tears you to pieces.

You are dead.

You are in a cold, dark place. You can hear a wailing and gnashing of teeth in the distance.

> look
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
06:07 / 09.10.02
You look around. Everything is dark. The sounds of grinding teeth accompany a mournful wailing in the distance, filling your head. Are you dead? You try to check yourself, but can see nothing. You will need some light before continuing.
There is a tinderbox here.

>get tinderbox

Ok. You got it.

>use tinderbox on red handkerchief
 
 
grant
14:53 / 09.10.02
You don't have a red handkerchief.

> inv
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
17:51 / 09.10.02
You are carrying:

Tinderbox
Sealed Letter

>open letter
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
18:10 / 09.10.02
You can't read the letter without any light.

>use tinderbox on letter
 
 
gridley
18:16 / 09.10.02
The letter goes up in flames. Gee, hope it wasn't anything important!

DEEP WELL

Through the light of the burning letter, you can see that you are at the bottom of a deep well.

There is a bucket hanging from a rope here.

>enter bucket
 
 
cusm
19:02 / 09.10.02
You put your foot in the bucket, and grab on to the rope. Suddenly, it jerks upwards and you are drawn up towards the surface. A light shines from above, turning the well into a cheap tunnel special effect. By the light you can see twisted faces in the rock walls of the well.

As you reach the top, you see that the light is being shed by the glorious luminance of an angel standing before you, holding the rope. A sign near by reads "The Well of Souls."

The Angel look you over, then mutters to itsself, "wot, er, wot we have ere eh? Anuthur stringy an. Da missus won't like dat none, no. Better toss 'em back."

And with that the angel lets go of the rope.

You begin to fall.

>jump
 
 
grant
03:03 / 10.10.02
You are suddenly weightless, floating in midair.

>n

You can't go that way.

>u

You can't go that way.

>up

You can't go that way.

>get rope
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
04:55 / 10.10.02
You can't take that!

>climb rope
 
 
cusm
14:39 / 10.10.02
You can't climb the rope, it is rapidly falling with the bucket to the bottom of the well! The bucket hits the bottom with a small sploosh.

You are floating in mid air. In moments you suspect you will fall to your death. Your legs pinwheel comicly like a cartoon character.

There is an Angel here, looking at you expectently, wondering why you haven't fallen to your death yet.
There is a well here, directly beneath you.
A worn dirt path leads to the west.

> examine angel
 
 
w1rebaby
15:48 / 10.10.02
The angel is luminous, has a halo and wings, and looks satisfied as you finally plummet to the bottom of the well.

You are dead.

You are in a cold, dark place. You can hear a wailing and gnashing of teeth in the distance, and a faint sniggering from above you.

There is a bucket here.

There is a rope here.

> blaspheme
 
 
cusm
19:04 / 10.10.02
You screw your face up into an ugly pucker and let out a stream of cus that would turn a sailor's face red. Your frustration relieved, you feel a little better about your current situation. The words echo loudly of the walls of the well, and carry upwards to the sky. You note the slight taper to the walls of the well, and wonder at how that might act as a megaphone.

You do not have long to ponder this marvel of acoustics, as high above you the grey overcast couds rumble loudly in response. The sky darkens, and a bolt of lightning arcs downwards (violating all logical rules about lightning taking the more convenient path to ground) through the shaft of the well to smight you rightously to ash.

You are dead.

You are in a cold, dark place. You can hear a wailing and gnashing of teeth in the distance. You hear a faint "tisk tisk tisk" echo from above.

> kick bucket
 
 
gridley
14:57 / 15.10.02
I wouldn't do that!

>exam bucket

It's a sturdy wooden bucket with a metal handle. Enscribed on the bottom is a message: "This flying bucket is the property of his majesty Lord Dimwit Flathead. Anyone caught using the magic word "acdizalam" to make it fly will be put in prison."

>say "acdizalam"
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
15:07 / 15.10.02
The bucket shoots off and you grab it. Suddenly you are airbourne, revealing fields and fields of what appear to be precious metals, waving gently in a warm breeze. Suddenly behind you is a squadron of what appear to be pillows, remarkably similar to the one you inspected in that dingy bedroom so long ago, when this game made at least a little sense.
"Pull over!" one of the pillows shouts in a muffled, feathery voice.
>say "No!" to pillows.
 
 
cusm
18:26 / 15.10.02
"No!"

The pillows look at you expectently.

IN THE AIR

You are flying through the air at high speeds, clutching a flying bucket for dear life. Below you are fields of precious metals, which look quite sharp. Far to the east you see a high mountain range. To the west is the ocean. To the north you see a city in the distance. To the south appears to be a large monument of some kind with a flat space on top you think you can land on. Above you, The Sun watches your plight dispassionatly.

You are being chased by a squadren of pillows. They are signaling you to pull over.

> exam pillows
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
18:54 / 15.10.02
The pillows are long and black, with a texture like wet leather and great ragged wings. A piercing siren rings from their gaping mouths, and their tongues shed a pulsating blue light. They rattle their affadavits obliquely.

In fact, they are not pillows at all.

> Get Mission from the Increate
 
 
gridley
16:31 / 16.10.02
The Increate isn't even here!

The pillows look like they're getting ready to attack.

>land bucket
 
 
cusm
17:08 / 16.10.02
You pull the bucket down, and attempt to land. As you get closer to the ground, you find the fields of precious metals do indeed look quite sharp, and would certainly cut you to ribbons at the speeds you are going if you tried to land there. Wisely, you pull up again and gain some altitude.

The pillows fire off a warning shot.

> s
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
19:33 / 16.10.02
As you approach, the monument becomes clearer.It's a giant statue of Eddie Vedder, member of Pearl Jam and pipe-smoker of the year 1999. You land on the bald spot at the back of his head.
EDDIE VEDDER STATUE'S BALD SPOT.
You are on the bald spot of a giant statue of Eddie Vedder. It's cold and extremely high. All around you are fields of metal.
Some nearby stairs lead down into darkness.
Some evil pillows approach from the North.
>d
 
 
cusm
16:22 / 17.10.02
Its dark. You may be eaten by a grue.

> look
 
 
Sand
22:54 / 17.10.02
EDDIE VEDDER'S SKULL

You are surrounded by a cavernous and foul-smelling darkness. A darkness so cavernous and so rotten, in fact, you could swear you were alone in this cranium. The floor is rough and strangely patterned. There is a glowing red button on the wall to your right. Above, you can hear the sound of angry pillows chirping. The voices come to a screeching climax. You are nearly deafened. A bucket suddenly clatters down the stairs and lands at your feet. If the screeching continues your eardrums will burst.

>push button
 
  

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