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Constantine. Say it isn't so.

 
  

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gridley
15:17 / 03.03.05
Actually Grid, the only time you can blasphem against the Holy Spirit at the end of everything during the judgement. So John hasn't done it, yet.

Oh, I disagree, my friend. Perhaps you're reading that special version of the Bible where God doesn't hold grudges.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
15:33 / 03.03.05
I'm sure the Constanteen/Constantyne question could be cleared up with a cursory glance at the Etrigan issues of Swamp Thing. Which I'd do myself, if I could be arsed.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
23:40 / 03.03.05
Oh, hang on. Constantine corrects the hippy, who says "Constanteen", by saying "Constantine."

Although, to be fair, that's a bit like correcting somebody saying "oranges" by going "no, oranges." Silly beardy weirdo.
 
 
Haus of Mystery
13:02 / 04.03.05
It's a bit like Bowie really - are you a 'Boughey' or a 'Bowee'?

Whatever, it's very important.
 
 
Benny the Ball
14:25 / 04.03.05
yeah, but is it Et-re-gan or Etr-ry-gyn?

I just ran upstairs to check, but mine aren't there.

Lecturers at Uni, always pronounced it Constantine, for the Emperor, but what do they know.
 
 
Benny the Ball
14:26 / 04.03.05
Oh, and Bowee, definately Bowee - otherwise his son's name isn't funny.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
14:39 / 04.03.05
That's the thing about written pronunciation - it doesn't work. I've got no idea how you're thinking that sounds, Benny.
 
 
Benny the Ball
15:15 / 04.03.05
Sorry - I thought it was Constantine vs Constanteen - should have writen Constantyne vs Constanteen.
 
 
Henningjohnathan
16:34 / 04.03.05
As far as the theological veracity of the movie, it definitely is NOT following the Catholic creed letter for letter. Of course, it is completely fictional so they can make up any world they like. CAPalert drives me crazy because they take everything so seriously as if the movie is actually claiming to be a factual account of the world. Do they think that there is a real John Constantine living in Los Angeles and performing exorcisms? The why should we expect that this is the real god or devil or angel Gabriel.

Nevertheless, a suicide is only a suicide if you stay dead. Attempted suicide is not really a mortal sin. Also, they say that the Spear "killed" Christ when in fact the spear was used to prove that Christ was already dead.
 
 
Benny the Ball
18:51 / 21.03.05
Just watched it. Bits work, bits don't. Bound to be spoilers so you've been warned.

Liked the punch on Gabriel at the end, liked Rachal Weisz a lot (but more from a purely really fancying her in this film stance) and liked the opening. The preist being unable to drink worked well also.

But what made it non-constantine for me was that he was all a bit active and he cared a lot.

However, the sound is fucking dreadful, really really bad. It made me hate the film at a technical level, which was a shame as some of it was great.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
10:41 / 22.03.05
SPOILERS
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I really, really liked it. And I'm of the opinion that it's as much an interpretation of Constantine as any of the many comic interpretations... the background world is different (no DC universe as far as I can tell, so they've come up with a basic set of rules to avoid having to drag in years of continuity/context - cf Constantine and Angela/Isobel being psychic, the whole 'halfbreed' misnomer, Papa Midnite being a neutral/heroic character rather than a sinister and corrupt voodoo houngan, etc etc), and Constantine is less of an out-and-out bastard, more an unscrupulous, slightly fucked-up misanthrope. Given that every writer who's touched Constantine has had a different perception of him, this isn't a particularly big problem for me.

Reeves isn't bad at all - obviously not the ideal choice for this kind of role, but he gives what is probably his most three-dimensional performance yet, which, although not saying much, at least means he puts something into it. Lawrence's direction is flashy, as befits a guy who came from music video - but when it's good, it's fucking incredible. Favourite bits:-

* The Devil walking slowly towards Gabriel who is moving in infinitesimal slow motion by comparison, the just-smashed glass hovering around him and being slowly bumped aside as he moves through it.

* The muck sliding off Satan's bare feet as he appears in mid air above Constantine, while the rest of his perfect white suit is spotless.

* Constantine getting Chas to place a relic in the water-system for the building, therefore automatically blessing the sprinkler system and converting it into a holy water sprinkler - very Ennis.

* The resulting shotgun massacre of the partially dissolving demons

* Angela playing back the CCTV footage of her sister's suicide, seeing Isobel whisper Constantine's name - but when she rewinds to play it again, this time she doesn't say a word

* Every single scene Tilda Swinton was in, especially the last couple

* Satan's last line to Gabriel as ze realises that ze no longer has God's protection - "Someone doesn't have your back anymore..." Nice.

* Stormare as Satan. Unlike Swinton, he wildly overacts, hamming like Hopkins' Lector on steroids - but it works perfectly for the kind of big, raw, nasty, broken-nosed bastard of a Satan that Constantine's facing. Alternately ferociously pantomime evil and high-camp scary/hilarious, he's completely off his rocker, and I loved it. The facial resemblance to Steve Dillon's First Of The Fallen was good synchronicity...

Chas as a kid didn't irritate half as much as I thought it would - he was less a sidekick, more an actual character in and of himself, and his death was completely in line with how Constantine's mates usually die - suddenly and nastily. The magic was conceived and realised very well, with some lovely touches. And Constantine still stings Satan, albeit in a completely different way... and still gives him the finger (the audience I watched it with gave this the biggest cheer of the night)...
 
 
D Terminator XXXIII
12:45 / 22.03.05
he was less a sidekick, more an actual character in and of himself

The meta bit of the movie was Constantine's (and later: Chas's) line: "It doesn't always happen like in the book."

The comic book, even.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
18:18 / 23.03.05
Just saw it this afternoon, and it's actually not too bad. The US setting apart ( and I don't think I've ever seen LA looking quite so scummy in a film, and definitely not in a mainstream Hollywood effort, ) it's a lot more faithful to the comix than I was expecting, and while ok, there are problems - KR is a bit, er wooden at times, especially in the scene where he's debating the metaphysical terms and conditions re his imminent damnation with Gabriel - he sounds more like he's arguing the toss about the back rent with an incalcitrant landlord than trying to talk his way out of eternal hellfire, plus the way he lights his fags ( with a flourish every time, ) is a bit much, but for what it is, it's still pretty good.
 
 
lonely as a cloud...
07:02 / 24.03.05
Some spoilers...



I went to see this last night. Apart from Reeves' appallingly poor delivery, I thought it was pretty excellent (Dude!). Gabriel, Balthasar, Lucifer - great, and I was pleasantly surprised by Gavin Rossdale's turn as Balthasar, despite the fact that he looked less demonic, more yuppie David Byrne. I hated the showy golden crucifix gun - especially the Macgyver way he put it together - it was unnecessary, and looked like they were thinking of neat accessories to give the Constanteen action figure. And the electric chair allowing JC to see the spear of destiny subplot was a bit shakey, IMHO - I can accept that an electric chair than sent 200 inmates of Sing Sing to their deaths could be an object of occult power, but the way it was used just didn't sit right with me. And finally - just a little plot point I would've liked - I think Constantine should've shagged Angela at some point in the film, and have her die at the end instead of Chas. Chas's death seemed a little random to me - I thought he was well done in the film, and could've been used again, if they decide to make a sequel.
 
 
lord nuneaton savage
10:34 / 30.03.05
I liked the way that Gabriel appeared at the end having just stolen one of Justin Hawkins' jumpsuits.

Seriously though, I thought it was great. Very entertaining as well as being complete hooey. It's got no-brainer film of the year written all over it.

And Hell looked fantastic. All squirming bodies and screaming. Top stuff. Not sure about the computer game though.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
11:54 / 30.03.05
I rather naughtily downloaded it last night with my new whizz-bang superfast interweb pipe, and watched it at home.

It was ooookaaaay, but I hated the Holy Shotgun of Antioch. It was sub-Blade nonsense, and the action-hero stylee sat uneasily with the rest of the movie, I thought (especially after he despatched a demon with an insect in a matchbox earlier on - now that was quite groovy). The whole 'world behind the world' speech was eerily Matrixy, which made me laugh.

Is Hellblazer so explicitly Christian in its theology? I don't remember it feeling so...I know, demons/angels with Biblical names and wotnot,lots of references that fit, but somehow Hellblazer alaways felt a lot more 'inclusive' of wider eschatology than just Christianity. Maybe not. Watchoo think?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:08 / 30.03.05
Yeah, the comic always tended to pick and choose from all manner of stuff, depending on who was writing it.

Question- I picked up a dodgy DVD of this for a fiver in the pub the other day from my friendly neighbourhood al-Qaeda-funding black marketeer- given that it seems to have been a pleasant surprise for many, will I lose much by watching it like that rather than at the cinema?
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
12:10 / 30.03.05
Fits a lot more with Garth Ennis' run on the comic, which stuck with ghosts and/or own bastardised version of the Judeo-Christian mythology over anything else... and, to be honest, it's a two hour Hollywood movie. You aren't going to get the kind of rich history of either character of mythos in a single film. That's why I always thought it'd make a grand TV series, but there you go...
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
13:46 / 30.03.05
Stoatie - my copy's pretty good all round...picture is a little bit lacking in detail (it's clearly filmed by a projectionist or something simmilar), but no head-silhouettes in front of the camera or anything like that, and the sound (as good as that is - if you're reading above, some folks reckoned it sucked) is A1 top notch. One of the best pirated-from-the-big-screen dodgies I've seen. Which isn't many, I admit.

Personally, this movie definitely fell in the 'Too much hastle to get a baby-sitter and fork out £20 for one viewing with my other half' category. Though I would like to see hell all Big and stuff. I'm sure I'll get my chance one day...mwahahahahaHAHAH
 
 
Alex's Grandma
14:00 / 30.03.05
I'd be inclined to watch it the cinema, if you've got the spare time/cash/energy for the bus ride - I saw it Camden, and the sound was a bit muddy in parts there, so it could easily turn out to be fairly indecipherable on black merket terr'ris-backing pirate DVD... And, as noted above,
there are some really good set piece special effects blow-outs, if you're into that kind of thing
 
 
Axel Lambert
09:48 / 13.04.05
Saw half of it last night (bad copy; trying to get better one with decent sound before I go on). Thing that annoyed me the most was Chas. Completely out of character even apart from the age-thing. Got the idea that they should have cast Keanu (wooden, uncharismatic, looks the part too) as Chas! Then it struck me: the whole movie might be Chas' fantasy of being Constantine! With his own taxidriving sidekick too!

Of course, I still have half of it to see.
 
 
adamswish
15:10 / 13.04.05
so a quick question for those who have now seen this (which for the record I enjoyed):

How many stayed to see the little "extra" bit after the credits?
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
17:37 / 13.04.05
Spill the beans then. I didn't, you see, and can't be bothered to watch it again.
 
 
---
17:21 / 14.04.05
How many stayed to see the little "extra" bit after the credits?

You bastard.

I did not know a thing about it.
 
 
Benny the Ball
18:20 / 14.04.05
Damn, I hate this. I was going to stay, but had to go somewhere - now I've missed quite a few of these things as I tend to nip into the cinema between meetings, so have to get somewhere soon after the credits start... What happens?

I wish that they would make these things more known.
 
 
iamus
18:32 / 14.04.05
I missed it too 'cause I was up and off as soon as the credits came up, but it looks to be the same as the comic page posted earlier in this thread.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
21:15 / 14.04.05
I think my copy ended during the credits... I did wonder where that scene was. Actually, I was quite glad it wasn't there.

I... quite enjoyed it. I was fairly drunk, so need to watch it again, but I'm quite looking forward to that. I'd probably the the DVD when it comes out. Wasn't a patch on "Hellboy", but was a fuck of a lot better than I thought it would be. Even Piano didn't seem too, too bad. And Tilda fucking RULED.

I'll write more after a sober viewing.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
01:55 / 16.04.05
I told you you'd like it. Mine's a pirate version too. But mine cost 30p.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
16:00 / 25.09.05
Got the DVD out from the library. Found I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would, probably because I realise I don't care about the character enough, but mainly because of the lovely lovely Tilda Swinton as Gabriel.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:27 / 28.11.05
Sorry, but it's The Prophesy isn't it? Stunt-cast Gabriel, stick in a hero troubled by demonic visions and a spunky lady sidekick, throw in some of t3h old magicks, Bob's your uncle...
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
06:45 / 29.11.05
Ultimate Eye For the Vertigo Guy makeover Constantine...
 
 
GogMickGog
09:53 / 29.11.05
I secretly hoped that as he stood on the rooftop at the end, and threw away his last cigarette he would lift up his sleeve, jam on another patch and, eyeballing the camera, intone calmly:

"it needn't be hell with Nicotinel"

Maybe that's just me...
 
  

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