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Ninjas and Pirates II - New Frontiers

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We're The Great Old Ones Now

15:37 / 11.07.02

grant
At 17:19 11.07.2002:
Dude, UFO pilots have mad skillz. Anarchists, by comparison, are lame.

Nick
At 18:32 11.07.2002:
That's because UFO pilots are members of the Galactic Ninja Clan, and Anarchists are just smelly Pirates who've traded in their stupid boat for a platform.

NOW:

If Pirates were really cool, they'd have Anarcho-Spaceships, man.

Abigail Blue

16:34 / 11.07.02

How on earth do you figure that UFO pilots are Ninjas? UFO pilots would keelhaul ninjas on the shiny prows of their spaceships, and enjoy a refreshing alien malt beverage as they watched their silly footsie-pajama-clad bodies spiral peacefully through space. Arrrrrrrrr.

grant

16:45 / 11.07.02

Who're the ones wearing the masks at all the marches, hiding in the shadows and dead set at toppling hegemony (read: the rival daimyo)?

And who're the freebooters raiding remote areas, traveling wherever they will and doing their own thing miles from any authority?

MJ-12

17:27 / 11.07.02

but there is that whole vanishing without leaving any evidence thing

Stone Mirror

17:37 / 11.07.02

Look this is very simple.

UFO pilots: Barely visible mouths. Barely visible ears. Very visible eyes. Close-fitting, monochromatic clothing.

Pirates: Visible (unfortunately, given the state of piratical dentition) mouths. Visible (unless they've been sliced off) ears. Invisible eyes (at least the ones that are covered with patches). Floppy, motley clothing.

Ninjas: Invisible mouths. Invisible ears. Visible eyes. Close-fitting, monochromatic clothing.

Definitely ninjas.

Kagami-no-ishi, "Stone Mirror"

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

17:58 / 11.07.02

sure, the pansy ass Grey aliens are ninja.
However
Captain Harlock and Queen Emereldas, who fly spaceships, are obviously pirates, and bad ass ones at that.

So, space is divided into the Anus Violating Ninja and the Booty Stealin' Pirates...

Saint Keggers

18:10 / 11.07.02

And we all know the space ninja are just flying around wishing they were space pirates!!!

And besides we all refuse to admit the truth..the Greys are MIMES!!..Silent, monochromatic and still damn annoying.

Abigail Blue

18:11 / 11.07.02

Ohmigod! Intergalactic Mimes! I will never sleep again!

MJ-12

18:18 / 11.07.02

Elijah, Harlock is a cartoon.

We're talking about reality here, dude.

Trijhaos

18:26 / 11.07.02

The greys aren't mimes, they're just in shock. You'd be in shock too, if every time you came down for a pizza, a large woman threw herself at you while screaming "Abduct me! Oh for the love of god, abduct me! My life is meaningless! You must abduct me!".

Everybody knows Harlock isn't a cartoon. It's like a "My first bible" for young pirates. Most youngsters can't understand the Space Pirate Parables, so the parables were turned into an anime series.

grant

19:38 / 11.07.02

Nikola Tesla was a pirate.

Michel Foucault was a ninja.

Discuss.

that

20:48 / 11.07.02

Trijhaos: ...a large woman...

God, man, you really do have some fat-phobia there, huh? Never have I seen anyone make more completely references to 'large women' etc. than you...'bout once a month or so, that I've noticed. As a fellow Robin Hobb fan, I feel I have to point out to you that this is a little odd, and increasingly offensive... Just, you might want to think about measuring your words more carefully, and analysing your tendency to use size/weight related references in a derogatory and/or unnecessary manner...

that

20:49 / 11.07.02

that should have read 'completely unnecessary references'...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:54 / 11.07.02

Foucault may be a ninja...

but Baudrillard is so pirate it hurts!

"The Spanish Main never existed. Just seemed 'twere so, ye scurvy dogs!"

Yeah.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

08:19 / 12.07.02

So, space is divided into the Anus Violating Ninja and the Booty Stealin' Pirates...

So, allow me to clarify: you're suggesting that Pirates are entirely straight-laced, vanillasexual chaps and chapesses who would never knowingly violate the integrity of an anus?

a) Tosh
b) How dull
c) see a)

Anyone who cruises around the universe undetected, occasionally drops down to Earth and TOTALLY FLIPS OUT on a field of cows, and then plots mayhem and domination is clearly a Ninja.

Anyone who, in the grand Pirate tradition, postulates a new society on the basis of equal partnership and coherent, minimal government statelets is obviously a Pirate, and should be proud enough to say so, even if that means wearing ridiculous tie-dye clothes in bright colours, going everywhere with scruffy but liberated animals and having a great deal of facial hair. Oh, wait, not a problem.

higuita

10:14 / 12.07.02

Anyone who cruises around the universe undetected, occasionally drops down to Earth and TOTALLY FLIPS OUT on a field of cows, and then plots mayhem and domination is clearly a Ninja.

Ah, but by standard ninja logic, surely the matter of us having noticed someone's been flipping out in a field of cows would preclude the perpetrators from being ninja.
In theory, you'd only notice when the cows rose up as one, refused milking and headed off to find Ronaldo McDonald, toting big sticks and shiny pointy things. Or disappeared altogether, only for John Gummer and other prominent beefeaters to be found drowned in dairy produce.

But I have to support Nick on the anal point. I think this may be the place to note that there was a jolly roger on each and every pirate ship.

Oh, a flag. Sorry.

Abigail Blue

13:18 / 12.07.02

If, as Grant as said, Tesla is a pirate, then this contest is over. We were more than able to handle weasely ninja on our own, but with Tesla?! We'll fry your ninja asses with crazy Tesla-esque technology. Boo-ya!

Less searchable M0rd4nt

14:15 / 12.07.02

Erm, I think the "Booty" was a pun. As in, booty being pirate loot and also booootay.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

14:16 / 12.07.02

...And the anal thing in general is a probe reference. Aliens seem to be very big on probes.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

14:34 / 12.07.02

arrr, thank ye Mordant.
See, perhaps pirates are into the occasional buggery, but at least its for fun, not some stupid science thing. Only science we pirates need is our flying blimp spaceships and flintlock lasers.

Abigail Blue

14:37 / 12.07.02

...and cool retractable planks...

We're The Great Old Ones Now

09:08 / 13.07.02

Oi, Mordant, whose side are you on, here? Don't tell me the Ninja Queen has been shanghai'd?

The horror! There's only one person we can call...Pierre Chiang Fouviet, chief Ninja to the Court of Louis XXI of France, Grand Master of ze 'oly temple of Marseilles...

Alors, foolish pirate persons, ze Ninjas 'ave style and gastronomy you can never 'ope to maaaatch...and we are ze leelte space brothers, ah oui...

Less searchable M0rd4nt

11:16 / 13.07.02

I was merely clarifying a possible source of confusion. I am so totally still a Ninja.

Obviously, since Ninjas have real ultimate powers and can fly and shit, they make super-awesome aliens. Also we now know that aliens are MAMMALS, which is totally sweet.

Saint Keggers

16:13 / 14.07.02

Aliens are most definitly not mammals!! Everyone who's anyone knows that the only means aliens have for reproduction is the vastly superior cloning capabilities.

Arrrr!

Mazarine

01:49 / 03.08.02

Okay, I was looking around trying to find the most appropriate thread to put this in, and I know that the pirate v. ninja thing has been quiet for a while, and I should probably just leave it be, and I don't know if anyone's posted a link to this girl's art before, if so, sorry sorry sorry, but after months of fence riding, I've finally made a decision and been won over to the pirate side, and this artist is responsible: Pirate Trish

Persephone

02:36 / 03.08.02

Oh, that's funny this thread's at the top... I just got back from seeing Douglas Fairbanks Sr. in The Black Pirate ...anyway, the theater was packed, and it's a silent film, and in the middle of some action one person shouted ARRRRRR! And then the whole theater erupted, everybody going ARRRR! ARRR! ARRR! ARRRRRR! ARRRR! Not me, of course, since I can be nothing but a ninja. But I laughed (silently, as a ninja laughs.)

Strange Machine Vs The Virus with Shoes

17:44 / 03.08.02

Pa, Ninjas are just uptight, anal types, servants no less (albeit deadly servants). Bores, in other words. Pirates have all the fun; drinking, shagging, fighting for no reason (as opposed to somebody telling them to). So its up with the jolly roger and ship ahoy. We sail tonight for Singapore…

Ellis says:

18:01 / 03.08.02

(I can't wait until the Ninja Vs Pirate Barbemeet...)

Knight's Move

18:53 / 03.08.02

Much as I hate to point this out, backing those who ninj as I do, Jabba makes people walk the plank into the evil Sarlacc pit. Jabba = alien. Jabba = pirate. Aliens = pirate.

Of course Mara Jade is in Jabba's palace. Mara Jade = undercover martial arts assassin = ninja. Mara Jade = humanish. Mara Jade = Imperial tool. Mara Jade does not equal anarchist.

The debate rages on and not even Star Wars can answer us.

Damn you Lucas, how could you fail us in our hour of need.

And Luke is not a ninja. He may dress in black and totally flip out, but he is not subtle and sneaky. Darth Maul is ninja, not Luke. Solo is also not a pirate, he is a smuggler. He does not make people walk the plank, he does not say Arrrrr (Although Chewie does), he does not wear bright coloured pantaloons, he is never described as the scourge o' the seven galax-seas (sorry bad pun). He is a rebel anarchist though. God the confusion proliferates.

The Return Of Rothkoid

01:13 / 04.08.02

We sail tonight for Singapore…
Heh. Waits is such a pirate.

If this pirates vs ninjas barbemeet happens without me, I'll keelhaul the entire fuckin' board.

And then get Instantly Drunk.

Jack The Bodiless

01:33 / 04.08.02

I think 'pirates vs. ninja' should be our personal Barbelith Torture Garden dress-up theme.

In the black corner: La Carnival, El Archive, spooks and myself. In the loser's corner - everyone else, probably. Goddamn but you lot are toast...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

01:37 / 04.08.02

Funnily enough, I'm having a ninja/pirate party in November- next year I hope to expand the brief to include giant robots, too.

Strange Machine Vs The Virus with Shoes

11:03 / 04.08.02

A day in the life of a ninja.

Wake 05:00 am meditate.
Breakfast: a rice cake
Train
Lunch: steamed rice, steamed vegetables, grilled fish, and green tea.
Meditate
Train
Go to master to see if he needs anybody killed.
Perform any orders given.
Train
Meditate
Sleep

A day in the life of a pirate (on shore).

Wake 12:00 look at who you slept with last night, if good, get it on again. If not, do it anyway.
Grab a bottle of rum and drink as you wander through the port trying to find your mates. Slip into a tavern and have a few ales and a full fry-up.
Go to your ship, grab a handful of gold, then hit town.
See your mates and head off on a pub-crawl, get it on with the local Whores/wenches/rent boys, whatever your preference.
Supper: Meat, lots of meat. Wine, lots of wine.
Get rip snorting drunk and start a fight with a rival crew, after the ruck enjoy a drink together.
Find some Wo/men to fuck and a bed for the night

that

11:18 / 04.08.02

Oi, Jack! Me = ninja also, goddamn it. Grr (a stealthy ninja-style grr, of course).

Less searchable M0rd4nt

12:31 / 04.08.02

Capt. Panarchy: I so very think not. A ninja's day would go more like:

Wake up like WHENEVER, cuz Ninjas can get up anytime they like.
Flip out.
Kill pirates.
Wail on guitar.
Kill more pirates.
Diner for breaky, flip out if anyone drops a fork.
Kill 10,975 pirates.
Fly.
Kill 198,324 pirates just by BLINKING.
Diner for lunch.
Wail on 58,102 guitars AT ONCE.
Diner. More flippage.
Flip out a bit more, then bed. (But not because they have school or anything.)

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