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Awright. Let's get technical.
Most of the damage from rapes comes from the misalignment of the nephesh and the ruach which takes place after people get busted.
(See "Rebuilding the Garden" by Karla McLaren)
The nephesh really is more or less an animal. Just really running more or less the same software as your dog or a gorilla. So it's reactions to sexual violence are exquisitely tightly coupled to immediate survival needs, which typically involve either manifesting a sexual shutdown and a return to a childlike state, or sexual compulsiveness as it seeks to form a protective pair-bond.
Neither of these responses works well, at all, for the ruach - the personality level - which typically has a vastly more complex response. Usually starting with trying to detach from the "yick" that gets splattered all over the nephesh by aggressive sexual contact.
Retuning that connection starts with understanding what the nephesh is. And that's not something you can really explain to a woman who's been sleeping with four or five dozen complete strangers a year and has forgotten how to say no because, well, she used to try and that didn't go so well.
So at that point, biological models become critical. By making the evolutionary substrate clear, it's possible to really explain *what happened* - why the instinctive level of a person's being becomes deranged and pushes them towards grossly unhealthy behaviors again and again and again.
"Oh, right... that makes sense, that's why I keep trying to sleep with people in ways X, Y and Z."
Breaking the cycle of compulsive sexual response is usually only possible by reopening the direct links between the Ruach and the Nephesh.
From the perspective of the typical Nephesh, the ruach is Fucking Crazy. Good place to sleep, plenty of food, healthy, nice people... this is a great life... so why do we sit around in this box all day listening to unpleasant high status animals telling us what to do? Why can't we go play in the sun with all the other happy animals?
Can't stress this too much: those imbalances between the animal level of reality and the constraints of human culture produce all kinds of issues, most typically depression and hostility.
Now put that into context. Think of the *medicalization* of post-rape care. Wounded animal instinct of "go hide in a hole" meets hospital settings, and then police reports. If the Nephesh slips into shock you get disassociative disorders because there's now basically nothing grounding the Ruach into guph.
So how is this sense of safety created? I tell you how I did it: you just sit there, consciousness parked completely in the Nephesh, radiating security and safety. It requires a lot of strength to sit and remain in that kind of tight attunement with a person in the level of their consciousness where they are most damaged, and not intellectualize it or turn it into Ruach-level emotional transactions.
What gets rebuilt, *fast*, is a sense of safety. Reuniting the ruach and the nephesh can still take years - literally, years - but at least getting communications back open can be done fairly quickly if it's done Nephesh-up rather than Ruach-down.
It also requires pretty serious control to be able to get the clarity required to generate absolutely no sexual signalling - either of disinterest or even affection - when doing this kind of work. As soon as you engage in the "there there dear" mode (i.e. move into a pseudo-parental role) a whole bunch of other shit usually triggers.
Long story.
But I did a fair bit of this and got to the point where I could do at least basic restabilization in a couple of days, rebuild some of the energetic "connective tissue" that typically gets torn, leading to disassociation, and also rip out the majority of the psychic contaminants that typically get forced inside of people when these things happen.
I'm saying this because, if you've been through these things, perhaps it'll speak to you as "yes, this person has been there and knows what they're doing."
If not, I stand by my results, and you're welcome to your opinion. I am not a theoretician: I learned by healing myself, and when people came to me and asked if I could help them, I did what I could. If you've ever been in the situation, you know how tough it can be to effectively help. |
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