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My introduction :)

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Janean Patience

13:18 / 16.03.07

By coincidence I've just been handed a Wilkinson Sword Gardening Calendar advertising their wide selection of power tools. Some of them look like they could do some serious damage to a feral donkey - the Medium PowerGear Anvil Pruner would certainly upset it - but nowhere, honestly nowhere is there a gardening flamethrower.

Also, I heard when I lived in South Wales that people with pampas grass in the garden are swingers.

Tabitha Tickletooth

13:29 / 16.03.07

While overall, this thread can probably be said to have contributed little of broad and lasting value, my new membership of the Tofu Society, the image of Stoatie's dad repelling triffids with a flamethrower and a creeping sense of unease at the menace of feral donkeys and how they might best be defeated (of which I was previously ignorant) will certainly stay with me for a while.

Will that do serious damage to a feral donkey? - surely that's a question we should all be asking when weighing up new purchases for our personal armouries.

Donkey Ebola.

I won't rest until there are signs reading:

WILL YOUR PURCHASE KILL A FERAL DONKEY?

at every till in every shop. We need to wake up.

Princess

14:50 / 16.03.07

Actually, I might make that into a t-shirt. And only a very few people in the word will know what I'm on about.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

14:54 / 16.03.07

Come on. Even Gardener's Question Time acknowledges their existence. And GQT gets namechecked on the Grinderman album. So it's clearly a lot more rockin' than I'd been led to believe.

I assume you're probably not SUPPOSED to turn them up to maximum, but it seems rude not to when they've gone to all the trouble of having that setting in the first place. You can throw a fair bit of flame out of those motherfuckers.

ONLY NICE THINGS

15:03 / 16.03.07

So it's clearly a lot more rockin' than I'd been led to believe.

Or Nick Cave a lot less.

Sole Eater

23:59 / 18.03.07

A flamethrower eh? scratches chin thoughtfully What's the range on those babies? We could hunt and roast in one easy step. I can see the tv ad-campaign now:

"The ALL-NEW Flame-O-Lux Roast-A-Matic Buffalo Griller from George Foreman!

"Don't waste time with all that unnecessary cutting and boning. Toast your roast on the hoof with this incredible new invention from Dupont. No more messy dishes for you to wash after your meal. One simple application of our patented Flame-o-lux will remove unsightly body hair too.

But wait, there's more! If you buy it now with a credit card, we'll throw in this high quality nozzle cleaner ABSOLUTELY FREE OF CHARGE. Batteries not included.

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