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My introduction :)

  
  

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Tryphena Absent
11:15 / 14.03.07
I think a number of people in this thread have to question if they would mock philately in the way that they are mocking gunplay. There may be a minority who engage with guns in the throes of their sex acts but they are no more to be mocked then those who like to stick stamps all over each other's bodies.
 
 
petunia
11:54 / 14.03.07
The empowerment is a terminal by-product, if you like, not the driving force of the exercise. The application of skills learned on the hugging range taken to the next level is mainly what I'm seeking. To draw a bead on a smallish, moving target at 500 metres; allow for windage, judge the distance and sneak up for a hug that drops a three quarter tonne bull gives more satisfaction than hugging a possible at the range. The "thrill of the hug" is a term that wasn't coined lightly.

If only...
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:57 / 14.03.07
It isn't sticking on the stamps I like. It's steaming them off afterwards.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
11:59 / 14.03.07
You don't know what erotic means until you've had a penny black steamed off your c***
 
 
Princess
12:02 / 14.03.07
That's a fairly wonderful use of stars. I can't tell what sort of sex meat is being spoken about at all. From now on I'm going to use it all the time.
 
 
Janean Patience
12:07 / 14.03.07
"Flyboy": taken on an entire warehouse full of heavily armed South London badboys with my beautiful bisexual partner as back-up.

And then killed everyone in an orgy with your lance of burning suede, no doubt, eh?

Eh, Hawksmoor!?!
 
 
Quantum
13:00 / 14.03.07
*lick it, that's right, tongue that black queen you dirty..*

Uh? Oh, sorry. I should keep my philatio to meself



phwoooarh!
 
 
Leigh Monster loses its cool
13:15 / 14.03.07
hehe. princess said sex meat.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
13:24 / 14.03.07
Incidentally, when is the next sex meet? I think this time round we should hold it in the Armoury.
 
 
Princess
13:31 / 14.03.07
I thik we should hold it in my pants.

That's right. I said it.

You where all thinking it anyway.
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
13:39 / 14.03.07
I call my pants the Armoury.

Of course after the bomb scare in Boston I refer to that which dwells within as The Infernal Machine.

As far as hunting scary animals go, I once dropped Love from half a mile out with a .50 caliber sniper rifle. Like a god damned Navy Seal, I was.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
13:40 / 14.03.07
Available under the counter, in a plain brown envelope through the post only (with "special" stamps):

  
 
Princess
13:47 / 14.03.07
Emperor Penguins?
I thought that the furry/pvc/gimp/paedophilia crossover pictures where as niche as you could get. I was wrong.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
13:50 / 14.03.07
In the world of stamps, that called topical philately, apparently. I just call it by what it is. Filth. Stamp out this filth!
 
 
Princess
14:07 / 14.03.07
MARY WHITEHOUSE PATROL, TO ME!
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
15:15 / 14.03.07
Fucking perverts. Coming over here, collecting our tiny pictures...

Enoch Powell was right, you know. Far, far right.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
15:31 / 14.03.07
I'm so glad that stamps have been made in self-adhesive form now. It means I will never have to lick the backside of Chas'n'Camilla.

  
 
Princess
15:40 / 14.03.07
Does that stamp say "30"
As in 30p?

That's a ridiculous amount of money. I'm very upset by that.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
15:55 / 14.03.07
No, it's the only age they agree to recognise any more.
 
 
Sole Eater
04:26 / 15.03.07
Hehehe, I seem to have stirred some pacifists out of their torpor.

...another living creature loses its life with a bullet in its head. Not so you can eat, though you come up with an afterthought justification about side-benefit to the environment. Not so you can protect yourself, because it's half a mile away posing no threat. This still seems pretty callous and cruel to me.

Callous? Yes, probly. Cruel? Ask the native species which have been pushed out of their niche by the ferals. Ask the indigenous folk whose traditional lifestyle has been destroyed by the hordes of disease-ridden interlopers.

The alternative is to do it the way the government eradication programs run. Which is to fly around in helo's and blast fuck outa the poor bastards from a great height. Wounded beasts abound and no-one is there to administer the coup de gras. Or, lay poison baits around the area and hope the target animals are the only ones who eat them. Never mind the native scavengers who then eat the poisoned meat.

It almost doesn't seem a big leap from the kind of attitude you describe to the way a sniper would describe the pleasure of getting a difficult head shot on a human being.

Snipers perform a dirty job which no-one else wants to do. I don't suppose they are different to anyone else who must perform an onerous task. Why not take your job satisfaction where you can find it. A sniper is a warrior who's only job is to obey his direct orders in a kill or be killed situation. If an armed terrorist was locked in a room with and threatening your loved ones, would you want someone on hand who could drop him, or would you turn to the Tofu society to attempt to gentle him out? No brainer.

For that matter, ethically, are humans any more deserving of life than our dumb cousins? Is it our own personal fear of death which makes the thought of killing another sapient so abhorrent? I really do think so. After all, we are just highly evolved animals.

I used a throwaway line about spraying aphids on a rose bush. Is that so different to topping a buffalo who really will do some environmental damage. What about the cockroach baits you all no doubt use? Mouse traps? Now there's a humane device lol.

I think Sole's justifications are thin excuses for thrill-seeking bloodlust (just an opinion, mind you)

Hmm, if that's true (and I haven't ruled it out) then it must also apply to catch and release anglers as well.

I find it strange that people are so willing to scoff at something they have never tried. As far as thrill seeking goes, my little hobby causes far less damage than, say, motorsport, (which I also love lol) which takes lives, creates untold carbon emissions and has to pretty much the ultimate penis-substitution racket going around.

If it sounds like I'm justifying what I occasionally do, then I probably am. I see no reason to stop what I'm doing just because others disagree with it.

But stick to your (aggressive long distance killers) guys. As I think a US Pres once said, "I disagree with what you say, but I defend to the death your right to say it."
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
07:33 / 15.03.07
Hmm, if that's true (and I haven't ruled it out) then it must also apply to catch and release anglers as well.

Well...

...yeah.

And..?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
08:21 / 15.03.07

Snipers perform a dirty job which no-one else wants to do.

Me, please. I mean, the killing is a bit of an issue, but the value I place on human life is really going downhill fast at the moment, and another couple of LOLs will, I think, be enough.
 
 
Ron Stoppable
08:38 / 15.03.07
As I think a US Pres once said, "I disagree with what you say, but I defend to the death your right to say it."

Vote Voltaire in 07!

on the Republican ticket obv.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
08:38 / 15.03.07
The temptation to post a long list of all those things I think it's not only possible but also wise to either scoff at or disapprove of without trying is quite hard to resist, but I will do it, because I am an INTERNET HARDMAN, much like yourself Sole Eater.
 
 
miss wonderstarr
08:47 / 15.03.07

Hehehe, I seem to have stirred some pacifists out of their torpor.

Sorry, but you're sounding like an arse. I was questioning the pleasure you took from killing an animal from long distance for no reason except for your own kicks and satisfaction. You don't have to come out with tofu-munching stereotypical shit just because someone challenges you ~ not everyone who disagrees is going to fit into some convenient box you can kick around.

Now you're coming up with more reasons why your kill has some broader cultural benefit ~ whereas previously you admitted it was all about your own pleasure in being able to "drop" something with a head shot from half a mile away. For what it's worth, I'm sure shooting a moving target from that distance involves skill. My objection is to you getting your sporting kicks at the expense of an animal's life, but at least you were being honest about your pleasure and pride at shooting being worth more to you than a buffalo's right to keep its brains intact.

It's kind of lame to drag out various potential positive side-effects and thin justifications for why you're actually helping people and animals out (if I didn't shoot that donkey from half a mile away, a "helo" would blast fuck out of the poor thing.)

Now you're administering a skillful mercy killing (a coup de gras*... kind of implies a death-stroke in fair combat, rather than a guy sitting half a mile away?), saving the donkey from a far worse fate (assuming he wouldn't be able to wander round doing his thing without being blasted from a copter or eating poisoned bait) and helping out indigenous people who might catch its cooties.

You know, if you took out one of those indigenous people with a head shot from half a mile away, maybe you were stopping him from spreading diseases, or cruelly slaughtering the buffalo. Maybe you should take out the "helo" ~ it's a challenging moving target ~ to save the animals from being blasted to fuck. How about taking out some of the people who leave poisoned bait, while you're doing such a great job of redressing nature's imbalances and policing the environment?



Snipers perform a dirty job which no-one else wants to do. I don't suppose they are different to anyone else who must perform an onerous task. Why not take your job satisfaction where you can find it. A sniper is a warrior who's only job is to obey his direct orders in a kill or be killed situation.

??? You're the marksman, whereas my knowledge of snipers comes from the novel One Shot but isn't the whole point about a sniper that s/he's in a position some distance from the target, well-concealed and carrying out a covert hit?


If an armed terrorist was locked in a room with and threatening your loved ones, would you want someone on hand who could drop him, or would you turn to the Tofu society to attempt to gentle him out? No brainer.

How the fuck did we get from you shooting a rabbit from half a mile away to you being able to help my loved ones when they're locked in a room with a terrorist? Yeah, if a donkey in a locked room half a mile away starts telling my mom he's going to detonate the explosive strapped round his hind leg, I'll give you a call and take it all back, but until then I don't know if I'm convinced that your target-shooting makes you a soldier in the war against terrorism, as well as some kind of eco-warrior and animal-lover.


-----
* ironically I've just realised you're giving a fat blow, rather than a grace blow.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
08:52 / 15.03.07
If an armed terrorist was locked in a room with and threatening your loved ones... (etc)

What are you, twelve?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
08:59 / 15.03.07
Ahem. I think this might be getting a bit out of hand. Bear in mind that it wasn't SE who introduced the idea of the sniper parallel, Wonderstarr - he just ran with it.

I don't see a problem with a useful process (the control of non-indigenous species which would otherwise degrade the local environment) being performed by weekend warriors. I mean, nobody would want to share house space with a heap of manure, but it is an inexpensive and highly effective way to nurture crops. To every thing a place. If individuals randomly picking off donkeys is a kinder and more effective way to control the population than government contractors doing the same thing from helicopters or poison, then why not go for it? The donkey is just as dead either way, and this way a civilian gets to make a bit of a tent in their pants at the same time. Everyone wins, yes?

The main objection I can see comes down to whether civilians should feel entitled to make tents in their pants by shooting things. I can see how this might have adverse consequences further down the line.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
09:05 / 15.03.07
If an armed terrorist was locked in a room with and threatening your loved ones, would you want someone on hand who could drop him, or would you turn to the Tofu society to attempt to gentle him out? No brainer.

For the person who gets shot in the head, right? Actually, I'd much prefer that whoever is dealing with the hostage situation you're talking about tried negotiation rather than going for the headshot unless absolutely necessary, yes. I don't know about Australia, but the police in the UK have a bad habit of shooting dead unarmed people minding their own business on tube trains, or those who later turn out to be waving around replica weapons or those terribly lethal table legs we've heard can cause so much damage. Dramatic hostage situations resolved by an elite sniper taking someone's eye out at 500m tend to happen much more in films and TV than they do in real life, where thankfully for the most part* the police tend to actually, y'know, talk to the person with the gun/knife/whatever

So yes, negotiation please. The tofu is optional.

What about the cockroach baits you all no doubt use? Mouse traps? Now there's a humane device lol.

No doubt. Have you heard of humane rodent traps, which catch the animal alive so it can be removed to a long distance away without having to have its neck broken by a spring-loaded metal bar?

coup de gras

A fat blow? I think the term we're looking for here is coup de grâce.


*Statistics of where they haven't to follow if need be.
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
09:07 / 15.03.07
(Linguistics bit cross-posted with Miss W, obviously)
 
 
miss wonderstarr
09:14 / 15.03.07
To every thing a place. If individuals randomly picking off donkeys is a kinder and more effective way to control the population than government contractors doing the same thing from helicopters or poison, then why not go for it? The donkey is just as dead either way, and this way a civilian gets to make a bit of a tent in their pants at the same time. Everyone wins, yes?


What I was objecting to really is the post-script justification for SE's pleasure in dropping animals with headshots. It was my impression that the environmental and social benefits were brought in as an afterthought, and are way down the list of his actual reasons for shooting buffalo.
 
 
Tabitha Tickletooth
09:18 / 15.03.07
Where can I join this 'tofu society' of which you speak?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
09:21 / 15.03.07
Is it like a tofu of the month club, do you think?
 
 
Mon Oncle Ignatius
09:22 / 15.03.07
Hmmm, there's this one:

After the war Prince Takamatsu became the honorary president of various charitable, cultural and athletic organizations including the Japan Fine Arts Society, the Denmark-Japan Society, the France-Japan Society, the Tofu Society for the Welfare of Leprosy Patients...

And this one, which seems more current.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
09:33 / 15.03.07
Me, please. I mean, the killing is a bit of an issue, but the value I place on human life is really going downhill fast at the moment, and another couple of LOLs will, I think, be enough.

Let's be honest, Haus, your delicate UK upbringing has not lent you the cojones for the task. Your hardcore credentials obviously fall rather short of the mark (although I think you once made a sarcastic remark so vicious and hurtful the recipient may have died of embarrassment, which I admit is impressive in a Bond-villian sort of way. Oddjob killed with a bowler hat, Haus kills with dry wit).

Strange but true: the training for my first ever job at the local K-Mart included a video instruction on how to assemble and disassemble the various firearms that could be found in the sporting goods section. I didn't even have a driver's licence yet. *sheds tear for lost innocence*

Guns I've fired: .22 rifle at boyscout camp, M-16 in ROTC (firing a big automatic weapon does indeed have a frightening rush when the sudden sense of deadly power first hits you, but it was nothing compared to the rappelling. Leaping off the side of a building can provide a pretty big rush too), and the 9mm at the pistol range.

Turns out I'm a pretty good shot. There's some pride there, I won't lie. What's weird is that it feels very similar to the way I feel when I'm fencing and I score with a heavy slash to someone's neck, a hard enough strike to make their ears ring behind their mask. But that's between two consenting adults (well, college students anyway).


The exchange with sole eater reminds of the episode of Futurama where the enviromentalists/protesters trying to save the penguin's habitat are forced to hunt them because of overbreeding. Leela objects to everyone's enthusiasm at the prospect of killing, to which the hippie protest leader replies "Look, nobody enjoys killing penguins. But if you have to do it, well, you might as well enjoy it." Later on Leela says "I'm sorry, but if you're having fun, it's not enviromentalism."

I dunno. The animals are marked for death, yes? They will do real, lasting damage if left unchecked, yes? Why not send someone who knows what they're doing, and can sate their bloodlust at the same time? Sounds like a plan to me.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
09:52 / 15.03.07
Let's be honest, Haus, your delicate UK upbringing has not lent you the cojones for the task.

You've never been to the UK, have you, TG? Around here, we would punch the donkey to the ground and then bite its ears off. You'd just have to get it into a Sheffield Wednesday shirt first.
 
  

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