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Direct self experience doesnt allow anybody to swim over themselves by articulating the experience through words or belief, direct self experience lays beyond belief systems entirely and shows all belief systems for what they are B.S . Religions and philosophical systems come to be seen as what they are, inhibitors on natural authentic consciousness as contrasted to socially constructed inauthentic selves. This experience in my opinion lies outside the bounds of both spiritual and philosophical systems, but is unfortunately wrapped into one of the above positions due to the act of communicating such experience.
There is nothing spiritual or religous about self gnosis but both forms of expression act as convenient metaphors for communication unfortunately that just ends up in more B.S .
So for some B.S , God(s) can be seen as as forms of elaborate projection that a practitioner involves themselves with to contain a variety of repressed and projected emotions and feelings. The act of externalising the emotional complexs allows a safe form of projection without (in a magickal context) involving the projecting of what could be negative (thou it could be positive) emotion on to people or significant others.
Ritual harkens back to a state of child like play, where imagination is the focal key to the experience of turning the cardboard box, ornate wand, finger drawn pentagram into a magickal experience. The magic is in the act of recapturing a child like belief in your ability to self generate and create using the imagination. To understand that experience and transfer that to daily activity, so that imaginative and creative process is involved in all acts with the awareness and focus of the minds imaginal involvement with active participation. Awareness of self generated perception.
More B.S , my own conclusions are leading me to consider a position that recognises no self and no other, but only a percieved dynamic energetic relationship that formulates the appearence of self and other.
By that i dont mean what is physical but what is considered conscious, i think one of the most unbeneficial view points of religous thinking has been to abuse the human physical body for the sake of spirituality, to see the physical self as inconsequential, i have direct experience of this kind of thing at the hands of a paedophile who used god as a way to make me feel better. So god will in a sense be to me a child abuser, until that damage is undone. i dont have a great veneration for religous structures either as i have begun to see them as male structures to enforce rape war and child abuse, in many forms on a mass scale. i may mispercieve it due to my experience, but i feel it that way and am reminded of it by every church and every christian.
My spirituality is there because after being raped i was taken into an assembly to sing hymns to god with all the other children, my spirituality is a security blanket, in a way one that has kept me alive, but perhaps one that now needs to be put down, but that scares me to death, quite literally.
God is imaginary security that reaffirms a sense of self for me after extreme trauma. God to me is a liar, an abusive old man. I hate god with all of my heart and will kill him when given the chance.
Apologies to anybody who believes in god, they in all probability have a very different experience and conception of god to me.
It may well be possible to examine some of my assertions there as being irrational and illogical, they are, but discussing them wont stop them from being hard wired into my sexuality and spirituality, somethings take far more hard work to heal than words are capable of. Expression thou is a great place to start. |
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