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Is there anything you regret posting? If you were joining that discussion again, is there anything you'd do/say differently?
yes. at first, i was simply expressing a view, not expected, based upon the posts ahead of mine, to elicit any kind of agreeable response. but the degree of anger/lack of any kind of sense of humor on the part of others ("dont i have the last word?" - obviously - to me - sarcastic) was surprising. and, knowing the culture here now, i would have approached it differently.
1.)Do you understand that– intentionally or not- multiple posts you have made on this board have offended several members and have caused them to look at your unfavorably?
obviously.
2.)If in fact you do understand that, to what level do you, personally, accept responsibility for these unfavorable impressions? That is to say, if (unintentionally or no) you offend someone, do you feel you need to apologize?
anything i feel that i owe an apology on, those apologies have been made. sometimes, we write things that we know will offend in order to make a point. and i'm not sorry about any of those things. it's unfortunate that it's gotten this far, but my actions alone arent responsible for this degree of insanity, and i wouldnt expect anyone who's coming at me here to apologize for being offended.
3.)I gather from several posts of yours, most notably in the F4J thread, that you may have had a rather messy divorce that you believe treated you unfairly. If that is the case, you have my condolences; I know that the legal system is hardly infallible. However, do you think it is possible that this incident(s) could have in some way made you prejudiced to groups whom you feel slighted by? This is not to say it has made you prejudiced, I’m just asking if it is possible.
anything is possible.
4.)You have stated before that “statistics can prove anything”. I don’t have thee location where you stated that directly on hand, but if you would like, I can hunt it down. Do you stand by this statement? If so, how would you suggest we (as a board) should back up claims of facts? What evidence should we use instead? And if in fact you wish to retract this statement, for what reason do you retract it? Did you intend to retract it anywhere on this board?
while as a human being i'm not immune to regret, i dont wish to retract anything. i do believe that statistics can be presented in so many ways as to render them in some cases useless, or at least secondary to a larger discussion. i didnt mean, literally, that statistics can prove anything. sometimes, i swear, i feel like this forum is overrun with the autistic kid who's narrating the book i'm reading right now, where everything is as literal as possible. if i were to tell a youngster here "you can be anything you want," would i really be called out on that? would someone ask me if i really meant that she could be a banana?
5.)Multiple times in this thread comments have been made regarding using your particular case to “set a precedent” for dealing with cases of misogyny. You maintain that you are not intentionally a misogynist. Do you understand how this conception of you came about? Have you made any attempts to curtail it? If so, where?
yes, i understand how that misconception came about. i already noted that here, in fact. have i made any attempt to curtail it? sure. in the F4J thread i said i wasnt a misogynist, and that i love women and that i love all people. i've stated directly that i'm opposed to rape and domestic abuse. i dont know what else to do. and i'm not interested in trying to sway anyone for whom "rape is very very bad," doesnt convince them that i think rape is bad. most of the feelings towards me, particularly originally in the F4J thread, were, as stated by those people with those feelings, based upon suspicions. enough said.
6.)Do you personally feel that sexism and misogyny should be a bannible offense on Barbelith?
attitudes cant be banned, and those are attitudes. in all communities, sexist and misogynistic and racist and intolerant speech should be monitored and dealt with as the owner(s) of the community see fit. you have the right to ban me, but you dont have the right to judge me (someone else said that, or something like it). and time and again i've defended the actual words i've said, but i've no interest in defending myself against people who suspect that my words clue them to some underlying attitude that doesnt affect them at all, despite direct words to the contrary.
- are there in your opinion other threads that you have posted on without it turning into the kind of depressing debate we see on "F4J", and without the thread gravitating back towards your attitudes about feminists?
yes. in books, creation, film, conversation.
- if your posts have been taken out of context, what is the important and meaningful context, in your opinion, that might change a fair and objective reader's interpretation of your comments?
that feminism does not mean women, at least how i'm referring to it, despite others' insistence that it does (how can others define my intent?), and that all y'all need to lighten up a bit in terms of trying to gain literal meaning from this one dimensional space.
The impression I've gained is that people feel more than just offended "a few times here and there"; some of them feel that you consistently upset and anger them to the point that they no longer feel comfortable on the board as a whole, which is really a whole different degree from having your views challenged once in a while.
and that is because they are wrong about the messages i'm sending. if theyd respond rationally, i'd do the same.
ShadowSax, you may not even wish to engage with someone who has such a femme name, but my points are out there anyway.
thats exactly the kind of crap snark remark that doesnt belong here. i'm trying to engage in thoughtful debate. by making that remark, you're continuing a false impression based on nothing other than wanting to be funny. still, you asked good questions, hopefully i've answered them. |
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