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Questions and Answers - Part 3

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22:17 / 12.08.06

Can someone please help me out with understanding what the monkey-nuts is going on in the Love-Island programme? It's on telly and I've never seen it before. Do they know each other or what? Is the object to get them to have sex? What is happening? Should I turn it off?

Whisky Priestess

12:11 / 14.08.06

Lu:

Do they know each other or what?
They're not meant to, although the D-list sleb circuit is, so they tell me, a small one.

Is the object to get them to have sex?
Sort of, although AFAIK it's never happened.

What is happening?
Sod all, probably.

Should I turn it off?
Yes.

My turn:
Does anyone know anything about flower arranging, and could they point me towards sites that have pics or diagrams of arrangements, how to wrap stems, that sort of fing? And what's that green spongy crumbly stuff florists use called?

12:44 / 14.08.06

What is happening?
Sod all, probably.

Should I turn it off?
Yes.

NO NO NO NOOOO NOOO. As somebody who requires a portion of trash TV to sate hir trashy trashy brain, Love Island is the drug of choice. Forget Big Brother, which has swiftly become as dull as fuck, and switch to Love Island, which features characters who can be annoying in more than one dimension and a genuinely ruthless, wankerish production team.

Whether they're trying to boost their dismal ratings or, as I suspect, they're using the lack of them to do what they like, they've decided to basically just fuck em all about.

Last night's episode featured a game where people where given quotations that had been said on the Island at some point over the past couple of weeks and had to guess who said it about whom. This rapidly descended into an orgy of embarrassed faces, claims not to care, and recriminations and made for TV that looked like it had been scripted by Todd Solondz.

This was topped off when former contestant Victora Horsey was flown back to the island to face off with uber-bitch (and Horsey's friend of 10 years) Sophie Anderton. Despite Anderton's frankly rubbish attempts to defuse the situation (frequent use of the "That's your opinion" gambit), it ended up with Horsey pouring a bottle of wine over the recovering alcoholic Anderton, which led later to a monumental (and rather stagey looking) breakdown by Anderton ("Some *SOB* went in my *SOB* mouth") as she succesfully schismed the island over the issue, leading to a notable flareup between the dancing bloke off Strictly Come Dancing who nobbed the newsreader and Bombhead from Hollyoaks (who himself has had his own crying jag after video surveillance led him to deduce he wasn't going to marry the blonde Playboy centrefold after all ("I thought you were the one. I were thinking of flying over to Vegas to see yer"), leading to a Travis Bickle-style transformation, marred only by the fact he did it to look like his new hero, a former member of Boyzone).

Honestly. It's worth watching.

But I can't believe that I've written my longest ever Barbelith post on it.

12:48 / 14.08.06

Aborted Love Island thread here, Olulabelle.

I think it’s better than lots of people would have you believe, partly because I think it is misunderstood. It has many of the qualities of Big Brother, but with added schadenfreude. It’s basically hell dressed up to look like heaven.
Take the biggest egomaniacs you can find (minor celebs are ideal for this), maroon them of a tiny island resort, spend a few weeks studying them to determine their rawest insecurities, and then prod and poke them to breaking point. It’s actually quite bold from a network that so heavily depends on celebrities.

So the aim isn’t so much to get them to have sex (you can’t show sex on TV, so that’s pretty useless). Instead, sex (and all the attendant psychological states) is used to expose the deeper, darker, most guarded parts of their psyches.

It’s got its flaws and weaknesses, but I think the commonly held belief that it is about indulging celebrities for the entertainment of the OK! readership is really missing the point. It’s not a show for people who love celebrities; it’s for people who hate them.

12:51 / 14.08.06

Ahh, cross-post.

What Harhoo said.

13:00 / 14.08.06

I always thought the green stuff for flower arranging was called oasis but others call it floral foam, sensibly enough.

(I learned this at an evil site called save-on-crafts that I would've linked to but for some twisted html loop that I got stuck in for a few minutes that kept taking me back to their site so I'll spare you.)

Tryphena Absent

18:44 / 14.08.06

Can anyone provide me with Season 3 episode 3 of the L Word?

19:57 / 14.08.06

That's weird, for some reason no-one seems to be sharing it, although eps 2,4 and 5 are all available through the usual sources (torrents, Limewire, stuff).

Now, who can send series 3 of The Wire my way?

08:07 / 15.08.06

Hamster Balls

As in plastic balls that hamsters roll around in. Are they a useful exercise thingy or are they cruel and horrid?

10:41 / 15.08.06

That question can probably be answered by this experiment:

It is counted how many hamsters bite the person that lets them out of the balls. If the percentage of bites is significantly (= 10% maybe?) higher than the usual hamster biting people percentage of bites, then the hamsters don´t like being in those balls.

Whisky Priestess

10:45 / 15.08.06

In my experience, hamsters (and gerbils and mice - rats are a bit big for them) love those balls, as long as there's no cats around to give them heart attacks. Fun to watch, too, and certainly no crueller than a wheel - which, again, they love.

13:45 / 15.08.06

What's the difference between shortcrust and puff pastry? I have a box of each before me and apart from the fact that one has a much longer ingredient list of strange chemicals than the other, they appear identical in all but name.

Ex

14:01 / 15.08.06

Shortcrust should maintain its shape during cooking, and shrink slightly (that's how you can tell it's done). Puff pastry should inflate like insane shit. Imagine the side-panel of a mince pie (shortcrust) versus a full-on puffed-up croissant (puff).

(I am aware that croissant aren't strictly speaking made of puff pastry, but can't think of anything that invariably is - can anyone else?).

I think the chief difference is that you use a stretchier flour for puff, and thn fold it, rub it with butter, and repeat incoporating air until you have a buttery bomb just waiting to be warmed. It will explode into puff and flake when cooked. Someone more gastro may know better.

People often use shortcrust to contain pie filling, and puff on top of the pie to taste flaky and delicious.

Top tip for your box of puff - roll out onto a baking sheet, drag a knife round about half an inch inside the edge to form a kind of picture frame effect (don't cut all the way through to the sheet) Fill inside the line with strips of brie and halved cherry tomatoes. Cook until golden and cripsy and mad puffed up.

14:06 / 15.08.06

Shortcrust pastry is supposed to be crumbly, with small grains as it breaks down (the same meaning of short as in shortbread). It shouldn't really change volume when it cooks. It's what people tend to think of as "normal" pastry.

Puff pastry has lots of fine layers separated by fat (ideally butter) which separate whilst cooking, because of the steam produced, and puff up to give something with flakey, distinct layers. You make it by rolling a layer of butter between to bits of pastry, and folding, and folding, and folding, and folding, and folding some more. Like a samurai sword, only tastier.

If you take them out of their packets, raw, you'll see the puff pastry has lots of layers in it (usually on the cut side of the pastry) and the shortcrust is uniform throughout.

14:11 / 15.08.06

Aha! Puff for chicken pie topping, shortcrust for vegetable tart bottom. Puff also for moments of strange kitchen experimentation, I feel...

10:13 / 16.08.06

Mistoffelees & Whisky P> Thanks, chaps. Note to self: leather gauntlets, plasters, TCP

All Acting Regiment

11:05 / 16.08.06

How is it that the film Spirited Away melted this days-old pork-scratching of a heart? Was it the little hamster or it was it NoFace who only wanted to be looked after?

paranoidwriter waves hello

04:37 / 17.08.06

Legba, sorry mate, but I still haven't seen it, so I have no idea why.

In the meantime, here's another question from me, this time for UK TV watchers:

I've spent the most of the night (!) struggling to complete a critique on Armando Iannucci's genius (etc) for the Time Trumpet thread in Film, TV & Theatre. However, to finish it I need to know the name of a certain song used by a new "small car" advert currently being shown on our TV screens. Unfortunately (I think), I can't remember the make of the car, and I keep missing most of the ad (for various reasons). But what I do remember is that at some point in the ad this little crazy, snazzy car (111!!!333!!!) goes under a hump-back bridge, drives up the left wall and around the underside of the arch, then back down the right wall and out the way it came. The song itself is some kind of crooner type affair, telling us to "be who we want to be, live free, let nothing stop us" (type of lyrics).

Thing is, I'm knackered and really can't be arsed to watch telly all day when I wake up later today, just so I can spot this bloody ad and work out who the song is by (etc). Indeed, I'd much rather save my viewing time for BBC2 tonight at 10.00 p.m (hint, hint).

So, does anyone know this ad and the song used? Please?

(By the way, the online fridge doctor told me that my fridge is cool, so to speak -- again, thanks for the link, Cailín. Oh, and also my keyboard has mysteriously righted itself without me doing anything...spoooky...)

08:47 / 17.08.06

It's a Skoda. Not sure which one, though.

Whisky Priestess

08:55 / 17.08.06

(I am aware that croissant aren't strictly speaking made of puff pastry, but can't think of anything that invariably is - can anyone else?)

Vol-au-vent?

paranoidwriter waves hello

08:57 / 17.08.06

I could kiss you, cube. For now I can sleep. Dog bless you my friend.

09:17 / 17.08.06

Scottish Steak pies are just that. Steak in gravy and a wedge of puff pastry on top. No sides, no bottom.

22:35 / 18.08.06

Is the shape that your belly button forms soley genetic, or partly to do with how the umbilical cord is cut? My brother and I both have belly buttons which looks a bit like fannies, but it's also very possible that our cords were cut by the same person.

paranoidwriter waves hello

23:20 / 18.08.06

gingerbop, I think it's all down to the way the umbilical cord is cut. Innies or outies, innit?

I've got an innie.

Or do you mean the shape of its circumference?

paranoidwriter waves hello

23:49 / 18.08.06

Sorry to double-post, but...

You know, of late I seem to keep seeing the potential multiple meanings and layers to almost every communication I experience. For example, the above question by gingerbop could almost be some odd cod-psychology question found in a crappy magazine, a question that's supposed to show your "inner" view on the 'nature vs nurture' false dichotomy...or something like that, anyway.

Does anyone else often get this feeling, maybe in waves? Is there a name for it? And is it anything to worry about?

(Oh, and none of that was supposed to detract from gingerbops question; I just saw it in a different way when I re-read it again.)

19:48 / 19.08.06

I meant the shape really. Do you get big belly buttons? My sister's currently looks massive, but it's cause she's pregnant and she's popped to an outie that feels like it's filled with jelly. She can't bear to touch it, but I love it. It's all squeedgie.

Nothing I say has a deeper meaning.

15:08 / 20.08.06

Why is Taurine banned in France?

21:38 / 20.08.06

I don't know but cats don't have it in their bodies and need it so it's added to cat food. Dogs make it in their bodies and when they eat cat food which contains it, they get high. That's why your dog will always nick your cat's food. The dog can't help it, it's just chemically addicted.

Legba Rex: It was of course NoFace. But it may also have been the weird coal creatures that live on coloured flowers.

Bubblegum Death

23:33 / 20.08.06

Do internet radio stations have to follow payola laws?

07:45 / 21.08.06

Are there any books or texts or techniques or whatever for actors who need to change their voices/performances for particular roles? If there are, I could really do with checking them out.

08:11 / 21.08.06

You know, of late I seem to keep seeing the potential multiple meanings and layers to almost every communication I experience. ...

Does anyone else often get this feeling, maybe in waves? Is there a name for it? And is it anything to worry about?

I call it symbolic consciousness - as in, consciousness of symbolic meanings - after the usage of Caroline Myss, a medical intuitive writer. I get it sometimes. I find it most useful 1) in the reverse sense for making symbolic intentional gestures and 2) for interpreting messages from myself to myself across levels of consciousness, like dreams - I think it is the same mind that dreams which makes this symbolic consciousness.

All Acting Regiment

13:09 / 21.08.06

Cheers guys. I think we need more compassionate, spaced out critiques of Thatcherism in the form of animation.

Whisky Priestess

13:19 / 21.08.06

Jackie: the classic textbook is Voice and the Actor, by Cicely Berry. An oldie but a goodie.

14:01 / 21.08.06

.trampetunia: Re taurine/France, if you're thinking of the Red Bull band, snopes.com has this to say.

Olulabelle: cat food is also much higher in protein (less filler) which is another reason dogs like it.. and the reason that while you can (if necessary) sustain your dog on catfood, you cannot do the reverse. (I'm told. I'm a cat person.)

Legba: in my view, definitely the hamster. And his little heli-crane fly friend.

15:09 / 21.08.06

cats need taurine as a supplement unless they are eating raw organs from prey animals. Never heard of it making dogs high though.

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