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Worst...Writing...Ever.

 
  

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Triplets
08:39 / 22.10.05
And whether that's intentional is the question.
 
 
Spaniel
09:29 / 22.10.05
I knooooow!
 
 
Spaniel
09:40 / 22.10.05
All I can say is, I really hope it is.
 
 
The Falcon
13:30 / 22.10.05
Honestly guys, I reaaally loved ASB&RTBW #2. #1 wasn't so good, but this was a riot.
 
 
eddie thirteen
15:50 / 22.10.05
Not intentional?! What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something?
 
 
eddie thirteen
15:56 / 22.10.05
...It's a goddamn joke!

For real, reading that little snippet has led me to wonder if maybe-just-maybe everyone who's been hating on this comic -- which is pretty much, like, everyone, ever -- is just not getting that it's supposed to be funny. I know THAT part sure is. For the first time, I'm looking forward to reading it when it hits TPB.
 
 
This Sunday
16:49 / 22.10.05
Having just reread the first two issues of All-Star Batmonkey & Birdboy, I can confirm without a doubt that it's fun, if not funny or intelligent. It's fun! Goofy, blunt, at times satirical and at times parody, irony, and just plain silly, but above all and perhaps owing to those things, it's fun. Needs 3D glasses packed in with it, though, just like '... Strikes Again' did.
I think Miller developed a happy balance between Kane, O'Neill, and the Adam West Batmen.
 
 
Quantum
17:37 / 27.10.05
I recently read 'Identity Crisis', and although it was a bit silly it wasn't painful. Until suddenly Firestorm dies.

For those who've not read it, there's a fight and he gets stabbed by the Shining Knight's sword by accident. Everyone knows what happens when you pierce a nuclear reactor- it sheds a manly tear and says 'Tell my dad I love him' then flies off to airburst over Washington.

The Elongated Man's wife, Mrs Dibny, died and got many pages of weeping, an all-star guestlist at the funeral (emotional time for Wonder Woman etc.) and a massive hero-quest for closure.
The death of a flame-topped nuclear hero gets two panels and is never mentioned again, and the atomic explosion over the capital leaves no fallout narratively or literally. Rubbish writing.

A friend says it was because they were clearing the way for a new Firestorm title, which may be true but it's no excuse for such laziness, and don't get me started on the solution to the murder mystery... just shite.
 
 
Aertho
17:55 / 27.10.05
Wait, so dead Identity Crisis Firestorm is the Ronnie Raymond version?

And the now Jason Rausch black Firestorm is the "new title"? But I thought the new Jason Firestorm just died?

Sue got a funeral casue she's human and they don't come back. Firestorm may as well be a mutant.
 
 
Mister Six, whom all the girls
18:24 / 27.10.05
Any Gaiman comics.

From the sing-along in Sandman to the abysmal Superman/Green Lantern comic (there's a reason it got lost).
 
 
SiliconDream
19:37 / 27.10.05
Sue got a funeral casue she's human and they don't come back.
Also because, if she was going to be retroactively raped in slow loving closeup plus murdered-while-preggers, a funeral seemed like the least they could do for payback. Well, that and a fruit basket.

Firestorm just got cleanly and pointlessly murdered--by current DCU standards, that's getting off easy. Guy should suck it up and take a nice stroll around Limbo until his inevitable resurrection. Speaking of which, he popped up again in the Firestorm comic for a few issues anyway, then...disappeared again for some reason, I don't really remember.
 
 
Mister Six, whom all the girls
11:51 / 28.10.05
Off-topic: I'm totally floored by the responses to the death of characters who had terrible acceptance in comics like Blue Beetle and Firestorm. I mean where were you dudes when the Paris Cullins (sp?) BB series and the old long-haired multi-colored Firestorm fire-spirit series was out? Did you go to cons as these characters or something? No one has even mentioned buying the new Firestorm series (don't bother, I'm just saying...)

I mean I can dig that Blue Beetle is a link to the fun/grim 80's Justice League, but Firestorm?? Where's the love coming from? Did you see that the Human Bomb got offed?

Back on topic: Devin Grayson. From her Batman Family Circus of Bats as the Dad and Nightwing as the oldest child, it's terrible. Not that the idea of such a relationship as a family being recognized is necessarily a bad one but her execution is laughable. Kevin Smith... Yes, Kevin Smith (I really detest his work) did a better job with the same idea over in Green Arrow (the one thing he succeeded at in the series but a significant success). Grayson's current Nightwing series is a quagmire of narratives and plotlines hastily slopped about by deranged confused characters who barely know what their current costume is.

Sue me, I like Phil Hester and Cliff Chiang's art.
 
 
Triplets
02:55 / 02.11.05
Dick: "WHAT THE HELL'S A WARD?"
TGB: "...I'LL DO THE TALKING HERE"


What makes me piss myself is the pregnant pause in Batsies's reply, like he's straining for a hard-assedly witty comeback but. can't. quite. make it. Punk.

Turn your head slowwwwly when reading Batman's part outloud. Pure joy.
 
 
P. Horus Rhacoid
13:18 / 02.11.05
I reserve a special loathing for Hush. In general I'd say it's merely mediocre– poorly written and predictable, with a pretty dumb plot and as a bonus a %SUPER SWEET% fight between Batman and Superman because Batman just happens to have a ring made of Kryptonite, somehow (I don't follow Batman too closely so I accept that there may be precedent for the ring, but still). Anyway, this is forgivable, and merely makes for a not particularly enjoyable comic. HOWEVER, what's not forgivable is the fact that Batman uses AIM. AIM, as in AOL instant messenger. For real. And he says 'g2g' except I think it's actually 'gtg' which is either a futile attempt to distinguish (the goddamn) Batman's AIM-speak from that of a giggling thirteen-year-old girl, or Loeb fucking up and getting basic AIM-speak wrong. Either way, it reads as a horribly inept attempt to make (the goddamn) Batman 'hip' to the 'youngsters' because I guess being a masked vigilante who runs around beating up criminals while dressed like a bat and has a tortured past and a badass car, formerly the coolest thing ever, just doesn't cut it anymore.

Jim Lee sucked, too.
 
 
Juan_Arteaga
14:44 / 02.11.05
I don't follow Batman too closely so I accept that there may be precedent for the ring, but still

Yeah, there is. At some point, Superman gave Batman a chunk of the good ole K, so Batman could beat him if he ever went bad or got controlled. The other time this showed up was in Waid's Tower of Babel JLA story.

Hush still sucked, though.
 
 
Imaginary Mongoose Solutions
14:53 / 02.11.05
It's Luthor's old Kryptonite Ring, right? The one he wore all the time that gave him cancer?

And Hush sucked almost as much as The Long Halloween did. The only redeeminf thing about either of these "bat-classics" is the art.
 
 
Quantum
17:59 / 10.11.05
"...either Mammoth will be banging his sister or you'll all be having the gay sex..."

Word for word, dude, the gay sex. Thanks to m'sieur Shaftoe for spotting that particular cuntbubble-I-mean-speech-balloon. Shadowhawk's not looking so bad now, eh?
 
 
Spaniel
20:57 / 10.11.05
Shadowhawk still wins.
 
 
Phex: Dorset Doom
22:24 / 10.11.05
Well, Shabac (the demon fellow in the Outsiders page) is Russian, and has a hint of an accent, so the 'the' in there is excusable, but the whole concept of that one issue (evil Russian mob-boss turned demon teams up with the Fearsome Five in an assualt on Alcatraz that coincides with the Rock of Eternity being blown up, thus supercharging said demon fellow with the power of the seven deadly sins) is a real stinker in what is otherwise a good series. The first Outsiders story arc is great, and features Gorrilla Grodd, President Lex Luthor and the Joker all in one story (at one point, after hours of torture, Lex accuses Joker of wanting teh gay sex with Batman. Joker's reaction is... revealing). There's also a page in which it is revealed that the power of Lust is causing all guards and inmates in Alcatraz to have the gay sex. Every single panel is magic, seriously.
 
 
Ganesh
22:27 / 10.11.05
Hmm. Must find some Russian acquaintances and encourage them to discuss teh gay sex, to see whether this is linguistic method-acting.
 
 
Neville Barker
08:51 / 11.11.05
You who defend can say what You want, but its bad.
Alot of the worst xmen writing is funny too (phalanx covenet for one if I'm pronouncing the name correctly) but the thing is You can excuse anything if You assume its 'ironic' or intentional. If Cosby winks at the screen does it make it 'good' or does it just propel a laugh for recognition? Kevin Smith does alot of this but his writing in the rest of said movies BACKS IT UP (esp Jay and silent bob strike back.. not the best movie ((definitely worst of new jersey epic)) but perhaps modern perfection of the eighties comedy (((smokey and the bandit, SNL drivel))) employing convention in ways that cannabalize and make it his own)!!! Frank Miller's writing, I'm betting for most, simply rests on his former performance and recognition. I'm sorry, but cynical bastard or not, if someone whose art has endured them to me missteps, I'm gonna say, especially when it's in a column titled comics worst writing ever and I feel especially ripped off!
 
 
This Sunday
09:33 / 11.11.05
Re: Miller; I prefer Miller of the recent half of his carreer than his material from ten/fifteen plus years ago. So, my enjoyment of him can in no way rest on his earlier productions. I'm just totally jazzed by his wavelength, I guess.

Re: the sardonic escape clause in fiction-crafting; the best example I can come up with is David Lynch, in 'Mulholland Drive' when the acting gets nuanced for the rehearsal bits and flat for real life. I can buy that Milligan's 'Elektra' or Morrison's 'Doom Force' were sardonic, because there's evidence of (a) talent and (b) that sort of humor, in their entire catalog of works.

And, to pull a routine from Rob Zombie, of all people, whenever someone says 'So you're a fan of bad movies, huh?' the only proper response is 'No. I'm a fan of really good movies.'
For some of us 'Split Second' is a really good movie. For some, 'Extreme Ops' (the only film I've ever walked out of a theatre to avoid having to keep watching) is a great film. People buy Danielle Steele novels all the fucking time. And love them, presumably attaining and absorbing some gorgeous and useful flux of energy and stimulation from them. And entertainment.
Someone the other night - managing a video shop, nonetheless, which means they should *never* talk down movies because then nobody rents them and they lose business - tried to convince me that both 'The Godfather' and 'Bonnie and Clyde' (henceforth known as that godlike thing where they rob banks and shoot people) were shitty movies. Movies that have an audience only because they had stars and famous directors. Which is inane. Because if all it took to make something sell super-duper-uber well, is having an 'artist' work on it whose reputation is solidified from previous works... well, shit: 'Howard the Duck', John Byrne's 'Doom Patrol, 'Stray Toasters', and Melville's 'The Confidence Man' (henceforth known as that godlike thing where the text bullshits forever and a day and makes you want to come back for another helping) would all be top-sellers forever and ever and ever. Now, some of those examples I like and some I don't, but I'm not going to pretend the ones I don't like, if they did do well, only did well because 'Person X is established and riding off his own fame' into bestselling status.
You're only as good as your last picture/comic/book/song.
Not to get all 'Death of the Author' here, but, yeah, it's pretty much whatever flicks your switch. Just don't expect me to like it, or watch/read/listen, et cetera.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
10:12 / 11.11.05
Although some will say that this is to curse a particular piece of poo for smelling in the broader context of a cesspit, the demonstration that Geoff Johns does not speaka da English in Infinite Crisis 2 depressed me. "Kara and me", you nobwit.

More generally, New Excalibur. Why does Claremont keep setting things in England, when he appears not to have ever been here?
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
11:59 / 11.11.05
Presumably because he was born in England.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
12:19 / 11.11.05
As was Joss Whedon. Maybe we should stop letting pregnant American women in unless they promise they will give their children time to soak up the atmos a bit.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
13:29 / 11.11.05
Why does Claremont... ah.

let me rephrase that.

Why is Claremont?
 
 
sleazenation
13:25 / 12.11.05
Wasn't John Byrne also born in the UK ?
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
13:59 / 12.11.05
Yes, he was.
 
 
bio k9
18:02 / 12.11.05
See, America isn't to blame for everything.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
18:35 / 12.11.05
Jim Lee was born in South Korea.
 
 
Our Lady Has Left the Building
19:16 / 12.11.05
On the issue of Shabac and 'the gay sex', does anyone remember The KGBeast who would not only try to murder people but also the English language. I believe he used to spout such crap as "You is the dying now!" so I presume the extraneous 'the' is how DC denote Russianess, in the same way 'Lost' denotes Britishness by giving everyone double-barrelled names and posh houses in Kensington.
 
 
Spaniel
20:12 / 12.11.05


The KGBeast in his special sex outfit.
 
 
Spaniel
20:13 / 12.11.05
'Cause when you're gonna get sexy, guns are always better than hands.
 
 
Phex: Dorset Doom
21:45 / 12.11.05
so I presume the extraneous 'the' is how DC denote Russianess, in the same way 'Lost' denotes Britishness by giving everyone double-barrelled names and posh houses in Kensington.

Yep, much in the same way that German can be denoted by changing Ws to Vs, as in House of M #8:
Nightcrawler: "vhat is going on? How are ve here vhen ve vere just dere?"
 
 
matthew.
22:26 / 12.11.05
Hasn't Nightcrawler always talked like that though?
 
  

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