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It appears that the magical/pagan/occult communities are less comfortable welcoming the outright BDSM tools than the inverse.
This is a rather thorny subject. As xk points out, mainstream occultists and especially pagans seem ill-disposed towards BDSM being brought into a ritual context. The criticisms I've seen seem to stem from a very basic misunderstanding of what BDSM is about. There's the objections that arise from a kind of prudishness ("But BDSM is just about sex! Our rituals are sacred--if we let BDSM into them, people will assume that we're only doing this for a cheap thrill"), and those that arise from an assumption that BDSM is about harming your body.
It appears to me that there's a current tendency amongst pagans of the Western recon variety to reject utterly any practice that is painful or tests ones endurance as stemming either of a supposedly Xtian desire to mortify the flesh ("Huh! If you need to punish your body, why don't you go just back to church?"), or the more secular self-abuse of the fad dieter and the emo cutter. A few months ago a pagan comm I post to was discussing the horrid horrid practice of bloodletting and someone was so revolted at the idea the ze compared it to pro-anorexia.
I accept that I may be hanging around with the wrong pagans. (In fact, I identify as heathen, but let's not even go there. Most mainstream heathens are less than accepting of any ordeal practices outside of labouring in the gym. Kink and filthy magics...? Ew ew ew.)
I wouldn't say that I practice BDSM magic as such, largely because I work solo and the dynamic is very different, but I can certainly relate to what xk says about sacred BDSM especially as it manifests on the Ordeal Path. Almost instinctively I use a lot of the toolkit I've aquired as a perv in my magical and spiritual practice. For me, BDSM offers a treasure-trove of useful gear. Pain as a tool; sensory deprivation; you name it. These kind of stimuli can be very useful, not just in achieving momentary ecstasis but in creating more sustained elevated states where minor miracles can occur. (I can't help noticing that every single other culture seems to have worked this out at some point while we're still getting our knickers in a twist over the mere idea.) Sometimes there is a sexual componant to this for me, sometimes not. Mostly not. Would be over-egging the pudding, usually. I'm limited somewhat in that I'm working solo; although I have a wonderful perv in my life, he's no really into the magics.
Another aspect of my BDSM experiencd that I'd be pretty lost without is the power-exchange. Raven Kaldera's description of Hel as his Dominatrix makes a lot of sense to me. I identify as predominatly Domme with a bit of switch, and I've found myself mining that streak of sub in my nature for all it's worth.
I'm a hard, or at least moderately firm, polytheist; work with/worship Entities rather than Archtypes. The experience of voluntarily submitting to another is pretty crucial when dealing with a lot of the Beings I work with. There seems to be a big assumption amongst most magicians and neopagans that the only respectable way to work with an entity is to yank Hir down into the sacred space, grab off a chunk and then banish with a kick up the arse and a hearty "Cheerio," while mainstream heathens tend to go for a Gods-are-my-buddies approach and dismiss anything more reverent as a hangover from Xtianity. I'm here to tell you that when you are doing direct-contact work with a crew like our friends in the North, this sort of thing really will not wash at all.
You can't treat them as equals because you're not dealing with equals. You are dealing with a living consciousness that is bigger, stronger, wiser, and frequently a damn sight meaner than you are, and you need to remember that at all time. You need to respond appropriately when ordered to do this, make that, go there, climb that hill, thread me a necklace, talk to this other Being, get me a glass of wine and while you're at it get one for My brother and make it snappy. That doesn't mean capitulating thoughtlessly, but you have to have some idea how to negotiate from a submissive position, sort out deals and compromises without being stubborn or bratty about it. The assumption that it's necessarily bad or wrong or negative to have Someone give you an instruction, make a demand, or place restictions on your life in anyway is also misguided. It can be an immensly enriching and empowering thing. (Not that I don't have crises and teenage strops when things get heavy, but no-one's perfect.)
When I talk about this stuff I often get told that I should simply ditch my Gods and go and work with another pantheon--as if I should be in charge, and the Gods should be subject unto me. I often wonder what these people are on, frankly. In most cases, if you're working with an entity it's because you chose to. (I'm aware that there are exceptions, but they're quite rare). You put yourself in this situation, opened the door, walked onto Their turf. Their gaff, Their rules. Try and throw your weight around and you're likely to get an object lesson in the meaning of Holy Terror. |
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