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I think it's a recessive gene thing, Haus.
Anyway.
Until a while ago she was just a mysterious girl in one of my classes, until we got talking down the pub, and I could literaly hear us clicking. She's in shitty flats and bored out of her skull>? So am I! We should do stuff.
And we did hang out, in spite of me almost dropping it after the letters "BF" floated into corespondance. And it was fucking great. Entirely chaste, but fucking great. We ended up talking past 4am two nights in a row.
It was good, because I wasn't beating myself up with it. But alas, this is me we're talking about. I realised two things: (i) she had a dude and (ii) she was going to fail the year and lives nowhere near me. I tried to let it drop.
Until about a week hence, when one of my friends refused to let me drop it. He had fucking eyes, he said, and I was being an idiot. I was in there. WE'RE JUST GOOD FRIENDS, I said.
Anyway after the pub the idea is we're going to one place to drink more and she's going to hang out with her man at some other place nearby. She doesn't know exactly where, but my friend does. He offers to walk her there, she stays for a drink and leaves when he prompts her. I spend the time alone with friend #2 brooding like a motherfucker. He tries to convince me that he was in the same situation last yeah, blah blah. I state again: WE'RE JUST GOOD FRIENDS. Friend #1 returns, and after teasing me senseless for five minutes over getting off with her (he was lying, but I was drunk and morbid), tells me she'd hesitated before going in. He'd had to prompt her, again. But, I say, WE'RE JUST GOOD FRIENDS. And she's going to fail the year. So I want to get used to the idea of losing her, indeed of never having her. It turns out my friend is able to pull a few strings for her, if he can get her details (keeping this vague y'understand). At which point we have to shut the fuck up talking about her and start talking to her, because she's just walked in. Alone.
Apparently the club was shit or something and she'd lost him. Upshot: I walk her home. And end up getting pissed round hers at the weekend about 15 minutes after boyfy left (all above board). And hung out all monday, before she left in the evening for four weeks. perspective: I met her a little over four weeks ago. I will pine and brood and pine again.
But I daren't say anything to her, because I might piss her off and lose her utterly. |
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