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Smoothly Weaving;
Strength - 3.2 ( but he's working on it, he'll have you know )
Max Speed - 775 mph
Fool Tolerance - Low 6000's
Funk Rating - 62%
Viewing the filthy city from his penthouse apartment, watching the cars go around and around, Smoothly Weaving occasionially deigns to leave his collection of rare exotic plants, vintage champagne and top drawer cigs in a bid to make sense of a meaningless world. This hurts him a bit, as he puts on the leathers, the shades and the beard, and wearily asks for the 'hog' from the basement, resigning himself to a couple of jars in The Intrepid Fox, but his committment to truth and justice is such that he's prepared to put up with any amount of re-listens of Silver Machine, if that means he saves lives.
And so it goes on, night after night, as this lonely hero, in the strange neon wilderness that abutts Leicester Square, tears round the streets on his mission of mercy, hard rock blaring out the in-bike system. In a very real sense, business in the City, especially round Christmas, would cease to exist were it not for the efforts of Smoothly Weaving, but he does not judge, he just deals with the traffic, and the bouncers and so on, the aggrieved adult dancers, and he gets them back home, these future captains of industry, before retiring, round Four, to muse at length on the quite boring follies of modern existence, over a soothing couple of drinks.
Because it's just, y'know. something to do. |
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