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Lateshiftvision song contest

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01:46 / 21.05.04

[den] ‘Allo princess [/den]

Kegboy! How the devil have you been? By the way, there’s someone impersonating you in that Zombie thread. Here, take this pitchfork. Deal with it.

01:49 / 21.05.04

See the response in the Zombie thread.
Hmmm...pitchfork eh? If anyone wants me I'll be in my room!

01:11 / 23.05.04

So I was gonna grab a ride to the ol art shoppe but that dint pan out and so my day is shot. I've spent my weekend 'going out money' earlier this week and so my Sat. night is shot and I am now here, infront of the computer (useless info: its refered to as The Keg when the lan is up and running).

21:23 / 31.05.04

i don't care if I come across as a big fool, I'm watching Derren Brown's seance on my own and need company. Are there any barbelites present? Knock once for yes.

21:36 / 31.05.04

Knock.

Knocking but not watching, since the TV is in the other room. I'm hearing all the screams through and occasional ventures in to see what's going on have me fleeing back here. Scaredly.

21:40 / 31.05.04

Ah, surprise twist ending. I did figure the ghost story was bunk, but didn't anticipate that the show wasn't live, despite being well aware of Ghostwatch. Interesting yet freaky.
Ah!!! The jingling! The unholy jingling!

21:40 / 31.05.04

Biznuth are you scared?

There's no need to be. The TV announcement lady has just informed me that Derren Brown is a Psychological Illusionist. AKA, A Big Liar.

21:41 / 31.05.04

Started a thread in Temple about the Derren Brown thing, and there's some discussion in Films/TV as well.

Basically, Xoc spent ages writing out alphabet cards, and we had nooo glass movement whatsoever. I also picked 'Keith' and wrote 'LIVERPOOL'. D'oh!

21:42 / 31.05.04

Everything scares me. I still have a mild fear of the dark. I'd sleep with my head under the covers if that didn't cause my feet to poke out the other side.

21:44 / 31.05.04

Ganesh, bless you and Xoc for doing it all properly and like he told you to.

21:47 / 31.05.04

I guess we're just less susceptible than normal folks. I'm really thirsty, guess I'll drink a refreshing Sprite. Boy howdy.

ONLY NICE THINGS

21:58 / 31.05.04

Tell you what, though: if ever I find myself trying to contact the dead, I'm going to make sure that I surround myself with a coven who scream less. Between that and Big Brother, it's like Channel 4 has declared war on glass.

22:03 / 31.05.04

Are you going to cut out their tongues? Or is that more of a David Blaine seance?

ONLY NICE THINGS

22:07 / 31.05.04

Nah - they'd only grunt. The thing to do is select for stiff upper lip. My TV idea - Repressed, Polite, Taciturn Big Brother - is entertainment gold.

22:14 / 31.05.04

Haus, it's not the screaming in Big Brother, it's the stupid seal clapping thing. Someone, please make it stop.

22:21 / 31.05.04

Seal clapping? is he performing Killer?
I'm now going to lapse into a prolonged trance-like state for roughly 8 hours. Peace out.

22:22 / 31.05.04

Ganesh, bless you and Xoc for doing it all properly and like he told you to.

Mmm. We're both sorely disappointed. I'm thinking of starting a Head Shop thread entitled 'Am I Cursed With Being Less Gullible Than All The Sheep?'

And yeah, those students seemed to have been hand-picked for screaminess. Marco, of course, is the literal embodiment of 'screamer'.

22:45 / 31.05.04

'Am I Cursed With Being Less Gullible Than All The Sheep?'

Laughing so loudly I've scared my dog.

I have major issues with Marco. Apart from all the seal clap screaming with Emma thing (Is it Emma? The dull one who said earlier, "What's a residential area?") my main problem wih him is that he's just mean. He's already gathered a little group of housemates whom he can slag the others off to.

Tits.

This is the wrong thread, isn't it? It's the wrong thread. Goddamnit. (Moves self to Film and TV, sharpish.)

22:47 / 31.05.04

My reality TV idea - and everyone’s got one, for reality TV is the new Great American Novel, probably - is called ‘Fight House’: a house full of body building equipment and 2-way mirrors is stuffed with every variety of ‘hard men’ and martial artists of all ‘styles’, they spend all week sweating and pumping and sizing each other up and going ‘Oi! leaaavvve it! Or I’ll ‘ave yer’, stuff like that. Every week, the public get to vote which two they’d most like to see fight each other, which simmering rivalry they’d most like to see settled. Pitching the bare-knuckle boxer, say, against the tai-kwon-do chap, or whatever; and the loser has to leave the house. So even a complete love-to-hate-him cad and villain can brawl his way through, if he’s hard enough. Goodies and Baddies, in medically-controlled fight-situations. Schedule it to run concurrent with A Major Sports Tournament, that’s ratings gold, that is.

Hmm. Bit of a shit name, though. I think that’s the main flaw in my pitch. Probably among others I am too overcome to spot.

ONLY NICE THINGS

23:02 / 31.05.04

How about "Bad Brotherfuckers"?

Having not previously had a reality TV show idea, I am struggling to catch up. My current pitch "Shrew brother", in which 20 shrews, all brothers, are gathered together in a house. Sadly, they are too fast-moving for the cameras, and their chittering too fast for the human ear. Mainly they are discussing Buffy. A confused public is invited to nominate one shrew for eviction each week, but it is very hard both to tell which is which, and to be sure that any of the shrews have actually left - in fact, the evicted shrew sneaks back into the house almost immediately, as it is full of pringles and delicous insects.

It's more for the shrews than the audience.

23:06 / 31.05.04

Mine is 'Madhouse', where the multitudes of individuals who've claimed, in their Big Brother audition videos, that they're TOTALLY MAAAAA-HAAAAAAAD are actually held against their will in a high-security psychiatric unit (I'm sure the Mental Health Act could be tweaked a little to accommodate them) with a variety of truly psychotic people. Maaaaa-haaaaaaadness would be treated with periodic Acuphase injections, under restraint if necessary, and jaded nursing staff would dispense cigarettes as they saw fit. They'd be reviewed weekly by yawning junior doctors, but allowed no leave. This would go on for six months to a year, after which time they'd be discharged into supported housing.

ONLY NICE THINGS

23:13 / 31.05.04

Now, *that* I would go digital for.

23:17 / 31.05.04

How about ‘Crackers House’ as an alternative title to ‘Mad House’? It’s a bit now but also manages to hark back to a quaint golden age of television, and subliminally implies just a smidgen of Daily Mail-style social ‘issues’.

23:25 / 31.05.04

Or 'Bonkers', which carries the faintest hint of Noel's House Party styled slap 'n' tickle, perhaps in vats of fluorescent gunk. Of course, any sexual desire which manages to fight its way through the high-dose psychotropic medication will be dealt with via segregation and long sessions with an openly bored clinical psychologist who looks at his/her watch every thirty seconds.

23:27 / 31.05.04

Haus, your 'Shrews' suggestion is vaguely reminiscent of the current plan for the BB house in that apparently this week they all vote someone out, and then that person ostensibly leaves but actually is only removed to a secret room where he/she has access to all the housemates current conversations, can see who stabbed then in the back, and allegedly if they wish, wreak revenge.

Obviously the Shrews would not be so cruel as to wreak revenge on anyone, but the scenario of not knowing who was still there or not struck me as similar.

Shrews look the same, Emma and Michelle actually are the same.

(Goddamnit, STILL the wrong thread.)

ONLY NICE THINGS

19:36 / 01.06.04

Haus, your 'Shrews' suggestion is vaguely reminiscent of the current plan for the BB house in that apparently this week they all vote someone out, and then that person ostensibly leaves but actually is only removed to a secret room where he/she has access to all the housemates current conversations, can see who stabbed then in the back, and allegedly if they wish, wreak revenge.

Obviously the Shrews would not be so cruel as to wreak revenge on anyone, but the scenario of not knowing who was still there or not struck me as similar.

I agree that as a stratagem that may not work. Gerald the shrew is returned to the Shrew Brother house.

Gerald: So, I heard what you were saying about me. Do you really think I have a lovely wuffly nose?

Omnes: Oh yes.... lovely nose... tiny, but so wuffly...

Gerald: Oh. I'm a bit embarrassed. Shall we all have some pringles and lie around each other?

Omnes: OK!

03:31 / 02.06.04

This late shift has lasted three weeks! Where is everyone?

09:01 / 03.06.04

I watched the Junior Eurovision at a party, and the host played the Spanish entry, like, TEN FUCKING TIMES! And another twenty after everybody else went home. I mean, O.K., he teaches Spanish guitar and was VERY drunk at the time, but come on. I really liked the Israeli entry, alright, I was paying more attention to those fine big round Jewish bubble-butts than the music, but I can tell you with utter certainty that Tatu FUCKING SUCK LIVE! Two horrid little Russian scrubber-trolls gazing loveingly into each others eyes and screeching off-key at the top of their lungs. Eurgh. Sorry, but I like my hideously unattractive jailbait fake lesbians in harmony, thankyew.

22:00 / 05.06.04

Reviving the lateshift to prove that barbelith is more than just a bunch of Big Brother-addicted goggleyes. And also because ever since I read about Nathan Moore - that’s ‘Nathan Moore of shit 80s popsters Brother Beyond, and sneery-faced chart-rival to my beloved Bros’ - having been charged with soliciting, I’ve been going around shoehorning the term ‘top pop tosspot Nathan Moore’ into just about every conversation I can, in the frothy, compulsive manner of a tabloid reporter full of speed. Maybe posting it online will cure me of this annoying habit. So, this thread will do. Forgive me.

But really. And, not just any old kerb-crawling, either, but kerb-crawling on a wanky scooter. Ace. Tosser!

01:52 / 06.06.04

Was the top pop tosspot soliciting women or men?

02:05 / 06.06.04

I would rather watch Big Brother, without shrews, than have to deal with the TV eulogies to Ronald Reagan that seem to be mandatory on all channels right now.

That, incidentally, is saying something.

02:06 / 06.06.04

Apparently 90% of soil pollution is due to Reagan decomposing.

02:17 / 06.06.04

Does that mean there's Reagan in the water table? Am I metabolising the original monkey president? This is worse than flouridation.

02:43 / 06.06.04

he's dead?
i didnt think he could die.

02:48 / 06.06.04

anyone awake?
anyone watching this crazy show with chris isaak?

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