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The Late Shift: Come on, spring! Move it!

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Mazarine

21:56 / 20.03.04

I believe today is/was technically the first day of spring. It's raining instead of snowing here, and I hope it'll warm up soon. Anyone else around?

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

22:45 / 20.03.04

We has some lovely warm, sunny spring weather the other day, and it felt excellent.

However today it was so windy that everyone fell over. EVERYONE.

Spatula Clarke

23:02 / 20.03.04

It was so windy here that my skin blew off. I waved goodbye to it as it sailed into the heavens, like a big beige windsock. I'm sitting here drinking as much Sunny Delight as I can, hoping that my new skin comes out orange, Oompah Loompah style.

Box of Spiders

23:04 / 20.03.04

It was so windy here that when I opened the frontdoor my roof blew off and landed on nextdoors.

Now they have two and I can see the stars.

Happy Spring~Fall.

Mazarine

23:54 / 20.03.04

I love windy days, at least non-winter ones. I'm gonna flap my arms fast enough and fly one of these days.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

23:56 / 20.03.04

I was scared of all the flying branchs in the park. But it was fun, this girl who walked past me nearly flew away and we laughed.

But it was nice to get home and hide in bed.

Bed Head

00:08 / 21.03.04

Awwww.

It’s been so windy here, in fact, that the telephone pole in my road fell down, and little yellow-coated BT men have been running around all day trying to fix it back up again. They’re not quite finished, I suspect they’ve deliberately left some bits a-dangling so they can come back tomorrow and claim their triple-time BT drudge-money. My connections still a bit wobbly.

But. It’s not cold! So I don’t mind.

Woke up today thinking of My Fair Lady. It’s been years since I saw My Fair Lady, I have no idea how I can even remember any of the songs, yet I’ve been singing ‘wouldn’t it be luverly’ all day. And also ‘who will buy’ which is from Oliver!, but which jolly well should be in My Fair Lady. Why? Because it’s spring, of course.

Spatula Clarke

00:09 / 21.03.04

If it's windy again tomorrow, I'm going to go to the top of the hill and open my coat to the elements like a dirty flasher perv while jumping in the air. It's like jumping up in a lift that's going down, only horizontal. Much fun ensues.

Bed Head

00:14 / 21.03.04

Oh, it's not going to be windy again tomorrow. It's all blown out today, mark my words. I'm afraid you've missed your chance to be a flying flasher perv.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

00:17 / 21.03.04

Ha, I thought about trying that Randy! Nature and the elements r00lz!

You know BH, I've found a certain kind of BT man to be pretty quick off the mark. It's a myterious one, to be sure. How many phone boxes get smashed up by drunken hoodlums on your average evening? It is many, I assure you. And yet... rarely in the hours of daylight have I ever seen a phone box without it's requisite glass surroundings. It's quite amazing, really. You'll never see them fix it! I remember seeing a phone box all battered up on my way home... in the morning? Perfect, it was.

I've heard they can get repaired in the blink of an eye. One day I am going to smash up a phone box just to test my theories.

I am tired.

Bed Head

00:30 / 21.03.04

Phone boxes make them oodles of money, dude. It’s like, how many fruit machines do you see lying around smashed up? Every BT guy I’ve ever had dealings with has been an ascended master of slowing a job down if it matters to me.

If it is windy tomorrow, you and Randy should form a flying team. Like the Red Arrows. Swoop down on an unsuspecting public in perv flasher formations. Of Dooooommmm. (sorry, I’m listening to the radio right now, and they’re interviewing the guy who played Davros. As Davros.)

They’re. Interviewing. Davros. My ears rock so hard right now.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

00:34 / 21.03.04

I actually think the glass is self replicating. And self aware.

It will remain broken all DAY if something random occurs... but first thing in the morning - crisp and new!

I might go to bed, now. It's all a bit too much.

Bed Head

00:39 / 21.03.04

Sleep well!

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

00:40 / 21.03.04

It's what I do, man. It's what I do.

Offset Carrier

00:52 / 21.03.04

I bought new white trousers today, put them on, promptly spillt tomato soup all over them, drove very fast to the dry cleaners', got out of the car, it was so windy the trousers blew ten meters down the street and landed in some dog poo.

So it was a good thing I was going to the dry cleaners'.

This is my first post, all the times on the forum seem one hour in the future... there doesn't seem to be a time zone button. Any ideas?

Offset Carrier

00:54 / 21.03.04

Ah. Please ignore last bit - I have just been arsed to go and look up the answer elsewhere on the site.

Bed Head

01:00 / 21.03.04

Well, what is the answer? I’ve always just taken it as read that, y’know, Barbelith time is one hour ahead of real world UK time. I quite like it that way. It’s like phoning Europe. Er, in summer.

Oh, and hello.

Offset Carrier

01:03 / 21.03.04

The answer I found somewhere over there was that the server was somewhere in Central Europe and the little old man who runs it keeps it set to his time.

But hey, I don't want to get caught up in a thrilling discussion of the server time on my first visit

Hello to you too. Is it nice here?

Bed Head

01:12 / 21.03.04

Well, I like it. However did you find us, if that’s not too personal a question. I’ll go out on a limb and assume you weren’t inspired to join the board after your comedy trouser mishap.

Offset Carrier

02:00 / 21.03.04

Through Tom Coates and plasticbag, if that's not too boring an answer. It probably is; actually a talking yak flew down from the sky one morning and shat out a golden tube. The golden tube could only be opened by gluing together the hair of a Princess using the semen of a Libyan politician. I journeyed far and wide but eventually the Princess was convinced to adopt this unconventional haircare method (incidentally stolen from a popular Ben Stiller film) and the tube was opened. Inside a tiny unborn fetus, attached to complicated life support machinery and wearing a minature cardigan sang a song about Barbelith to the tune of "Memory" from Cats. So... here I am. How did most find their way here?

Char Aina

03:30 / 21.03.04

you know that phrase 'happy accident'?
does it have an opposite?

Cat Chant

09:22 / 21.03.04

The opposite of 'happy accident' is, surely, doooooom.

ONLY NICE THINGS

14:19 / 21.03.04

I think generally the opposite of "happy accident" is just, you know, accident, which tends to be of the negative cooling rods/arse in bacon slicer/openign the door just as the zombies arrive interpretation. Of course, an accident can be a good thing, too... like accidentally leaving your Pringles open so the shrews can eat them and then live in the tube.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

14:22 / 21.03.04

Go on, post a hedgehog/shrew picture. You know you want to!

Bed Head

14:22 / 21.03.04

Crimefighters don't have shrews. Honestly! Get into character, Haus. Shake this thread down, already.

ONLY NICE THINGS

14:29 / 21.03.04

I see no reason the two cannot be combined.

Up against the wall and spread 'em! If you don't mind. We are too tiny to enforce our will, but we are awfully cute. Are you holding worms?

Bed Head

14:35 / 21.03.04

Umm... those are owls, dude. Shrews are mammals, aren't they? You know this.

Shrewly Shome Mistake?

ONLY NICE THINGS

14:37 / 21.03.04

Dude, all things are equal in the kingdom of the tiny.

See?

Bed Head

14:48 / 21.03.04

Awwwww.

Was just saying, is all. Unlike you to be even slightly inaccurate about anything. It’s a slip like that that would make us think that some rotten egg might have hijacked your suit again, or even something worse. Your “all things are equal in the kingdom of the tiny” spiel wouldn’t save you if you’re surrounded by a mob of angry ‘lithers trying to pull your mask off. Just saying.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

15:09 / 21.03.04

Owls, shrews... gotta love 'em all.

Okay, so it's not late here, but fuck it. I'm just recovering from yesterday's demo, where I may not have stopped the war, but I did get to meet gingerbop, squirmelia, Queen Mob and a very strange policeman.

Today I play Hitman 2. There's nothing quite so life-affirming as spectacularly failing to assassinate people who don't really exist.

Bed Head

15:21 / 21.03.04

Are you sure you didn’t go to school with this policeman? Because that happened to me once, some copper remembered me - by name, fer chrissakes - from school. He was in the thicky class, but I was always nice to him, so it was okay. Probably why he remembered me, I suppose.

Or maybe you’ve got a proper obsessive love-stalker. They don’t necessarily know who you are because you’re a Known Threat To The State. I’m sure the policing profession is very attractive to those with perv stalking tendencies.

Box of Spiders

16:19 / 21.03.04

Happy Accident ~ Miserable Intent? (like going camping in the rain.)

Mazarine

17:09 / 21.03.04

Aww, critters. Let there be eensies.

Char Aina

18:17 / 21.03.04

bin thinkin bout jesus...

My question to Mel Gibson is how many million dollars does it look as if you're going to make off the crucifixion of Christ?

andy rooney,60Minutes-feb04

could he donate it to something nice?
like rebuilding iraq?

Char Aina

18:18 / 21.03.04

Happy Accident ~ Miserable Intent

i'll go with that.

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