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Lay Down Your Guns

 
  

Page: 123(4)

 
 
inhaler
18:10 / 18.03.03
I don't really think that they "beat me up", they just slapped me around and punched me in the stomach once, and it was an isolated incident. I think maybe it's best to just turn the other cheek and try to forgive and forget. I do feel as though I'm in a hostile work environment - a few of the guys are always teasing me because they think I'm gay. They've pulled a few pranks on me. Over the summer, a few of them bought a whole bunch of gay bumperstickers and put them all over my car. When I got upset about that, they apologized and a couple of the guys volunteered to remove them. Unfortunately, they didn't do a good job and there were huge chunks scraped off of my car's paintjob and I still haven't had enough money to get that fixed.

I'm pretty desperate to keep the job, I'm in severe debt and I can't risk losing the income. I'm paying off student loans and piles of medical and legal bills, not to mention some back taxes and my basic living expenses. The worst thing is the medical bills, I'm so far behind in paying them and it's just so much money. They really gouge you when you have no insurance.

Enough of my sob story, I'll keep quiet. I'm sorry to wallow in my own self-pity around all of you people.
 
 
Jack Fear
18:56 / 18.03.03
I don't really think that they "beat me up", they just slapped me around and punched me in the stomach once...

That's misdemeanor assault and battery, in the eyes of the law.

...and it was an isolated incident.

Doesn't matter. You've got rights. You shouldn't have to put up with that even once. I don't care what kind of paycheck you're pulling.

There are always other jobs. And if you're not getting health benefits, it doesn't sound like it's anyplace you want to stay long-term anyway.

At the very least, you need to tell a supervisor about this stuff. If the supervsor fails to take action, you've got grounds for a harrassment suit. Know your rights: do your research.

Screw "forgive and forget." If you act like a pussy, you're going to keep getting fucked: and why not? You're not giving them any reason to stop.
 
 
Jack Fear
18:58 / 18.03.03
Addendum: go over the district manager's head. You may have grounds for a harrassment case already. This is still a free country, last time I checked.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
19:13 / 18.03.03
I don't really think that they "beat me up", they just slapped me around and punched me in the stomach once, and it was an isolated incident.

darlin', talking about this is not self-pity. What if this happened to your child in school. or a mate? would you send them away, as it was an isolated incident?

What Jack said. I understand how when you need the cash desperately, these things are tough, but this isn't minor stuff, hon. You should not have to work under those conditions.

Or, and I don't know where you are or how these things work in the states, but I'd definitely be tryiing to get some legal advice right now. Sounds like harassment to me.
 
 
Lurid Archive
19:22 / 18.03.03
inhaler: that is beyond the pale. You should never have to put up with that sort of treatment. Just to reiterate what others have said.

You are definitely being harrassed. It is almost certainly a police matter. These things can sometimes be difficult, but if there is any way you can stand up for yourself, then you should.
 
 
inhaler
19:34 / 18.03.03
Thank you for the concern. I really appreciate it. I don't ever talk about this stuff with people in my regular life, so it's good to hear what you all have to say. I don't have that many friends, and I don't feel comfortable opening up to the acquaintances I do have, except for this one girl who works at a diner I frequent, but I'm too nervous to get into personal matters with her usually.

I'm wary of paying more legal bills, I'm still swamped in bills from previous lawsuits. I've had some very bad experiences with lawyers. I'm scared of them, honestly.

I'm also afraid of what might happen to me if I try to take legal action against my co-workers, they've implied that something horrible might happen if I do. And though I agree that it was an assault and it was against the law, it probably wasn't a big enough deal to risk losing everything. They always say that they're just joking around, and that I have no sense of humor about this stuff, and they might be right. All of those pranks are probably their way of showing me that I'm "one of the guys", you know what I mean?
 
 
Ganesh
19:43 / 18.03.03
Yes, at my place of work, plastering someone's car with 'gay' stickers is a commonplace way of indicating to them that they belong.

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(Sorry to be so retro, but)

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Not.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
19:51 / 18.03.03
always say that they're just joking around, and that I have no sense of humor about this stuff, and they might be right. All of those pranks are probably their way of showing me that I'm "one of the guys", you know what I mean?

No. This is bullying, pure and simple.

As I say, try imagining this is your younger brother and he's at school, enduring this.

I'm sorry, as telling yourself this this is probably part of how you're trying to cope with this stuff, but you shouldn't have to deal with it.

And what he said about the 'gay stickering' thing. It's bullying again.
 
 
inhaler
19:53 / 18.03.03
See, I don't know if I should really consider it harassment, because I think they really did think I was gay, and they were putting stickers on my car as a way of supporting what they thought was my sexuality. They tease me about it, but I don't think they're anti-gay, they're probably just goofing around. They're not all bad either, they bought me a ticket to see an Elton John concert too, which I think was a nice gift even though I'm not really a fan of his music. I went to see the concert, and it was actually a nice night out, even though I was alone. I don't really get to do fun stuff like that because I have so little money left over after my bills and living expenses, so that concert was one of the only bright spots of the last year for me and I owe it to those guys for making it happen.
 
 
Ganesh
20:00 / 18.03.03
I find it incredibly supportive of my sexuality when my work colleagues sticker my car.

You're making excuses, Inhaler, either for your colleagues or yourself...
 
 
Jack Fear
20:00 / 18.03.03
Yeah, it's because they like you. Sure.

And catcalls and wolf whistles at a woman in a short skirt are okay, because, well, if she didn't want attention she wouldn't have dressed that way, right?

Fuck's sakes.

It's harrassment. It meets all the criteria: it creates a hostile work environment, and it makes you uncomfortable.

Again, do your research. Know your rights. You don't have to put up with this shit.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
20:51 / 18.03.03
Guys, I know you're trying to help Inhaler, but from where I'm sitting you seem to be tearing hir a new asshole.

I'm not sure, but I doubt that's a confidence-building response.

Inhaler, it sounds like you're being fucked with, all told. Jack's right, you need to know your rights. And for all you know, a harrassment case might solve your money troubles. Find out.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
21:19 / 18.03.03
Here's something on the web. While I can't possibly vouch for its applicability, since I've only skimmed it, it'll at least give you a place to start.

I imagine bengali & Jack F are having some spillover of feelings of revulsion and anger at the incident inhaler described. I know it made me want to punch somebody.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
21:32 / 18.03.03
Nonetheless, I'm afraid that, since none of us are able to emancipate inhaler, we may have to support hir through this as best we can with huggles. Huggles, inhaler.

It sounds rank, to be honest, and I would be a little suspicious of these guys - they may be "goofing around", but it's still not being done in a considerate way, and you don't seem to have the freedom to goof around back at them in a similar way. So, if this is a job that you need to keep for a while to pay off debts and can then abandon, then maybe keep a low profile, but it might still be worht knowing your rights, since there is always the possibility that someone is going to go to the next level. Also, start keeping a diary of these incidents. Being hit at work, having your car stickered or being threatened with dismissal for exercising your first amendment right to free speech are all abuses, and should you find yourself on the receiving end of an unfair dismisal it would be well to have a record. Some contact with the higher levels of management on the encironment your boss and workmates are creating miught be wise, but I'm afraid you'd have to ask somebody with more experience of proper jobs.

If, on the other hand, this is just a job, in the sense of soething that is not unusually remunerative and that you are likely to be stuck in for a long haul while you sort out your finances, then all the advice above sounds sensible - you may not want to confront your boss or your workmates (as Jack says, know your rights, though), but it might at least be wise to start thinking about finding another "just another job" that doesn't involve getting hassled like this.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
22:15 / 18.03.03
Nick, I don't think 'tearing a new asshole' is quite accurate..

I tried to reassure inhaler that to talk about this stuff wasn't self pitying.

But also wanted to say that I don't think he should have to put up with this sort of thing. I'm not going to suggest to inhaler, who sounds unsure about this, that this behaviour is in any way acceptable.

Also tried to recognise that things with jobs often aren't that simple, hence my suggestion of seeking support to get through the situation as best he can.

Anyway, not about me, is it?

********************
Inhaler, I'm sorry if you feel shouted at, wasn't my intention, and probably was letting my anger at what you're going through get in the way. Sorry about that.

Inhaler, if this situation isn't one you think you can get out of right now, if you need this job (as opposed to needing *a* job - would you get a decent reference from them, are you in a position to jobhunt? even if it takes a while, you can at least look at a situation beyond this one more easily...) then I'd strongly suggest trying to find a supportive environment, if as you say, you don't have too many people to talk about this stuff to, you've got this place, and I'd also urge you to seek out some meatspace support.

Check out local counselling/support services, there may be low-cost stuff going on. there may not, but there's often alot more of this stuff going around than people think.
 
 
Jack Denfeld
07:09 / 19.03.03
All right, who here has made a new fictionsuit called Inhaler? I'm reading the posts and it just starts sounding like more and more of a story. Then I see inhaler registered this month and has about 5 posts so far.

It just gets sillier and sillier. You know when I got suspicious? Just that little throwaway line about having no one to talk to but the nice young lady at the cafe. That's straight out of some low key indie film.

They covered his car in homosexual stickers? And the part where he says that maybe it just means he's one of the guys? It's like he's getting this stuff from a textbook on denial. And I worked at Ticketmaster for a few months last summer. Elton John tickets average like a hundred dollars. You think these guys are gonna spend a hundred dollars on this fictional sap?

I think one of us is abusing the caring for the downtrodden nature of some of you Barbelonians. So fess up inhaler. Who are you? And try to answer fast before the others verbally destroy me for my lack of empathy.
 
 
Bill Posters
10:20 / 22.03.03
Jack, you're paranoid. I hardly think all the illustrious posters above would get knodged.

I tried to complain about this to my district manager, but he told me that if I said anything else that could be considered "un-American", that I would be fired immediately. So, needless to say, I've kept quiet about this ever since.

I've never been sacked, but I have been turned down for a job for not being American. (I guess it's possibly one of the reasons I sometimes get upset and go off big time and then get accused of racism towards the American contingent on this site.)

I know how you feel Inhaler. I wish I could help, but how can one fight the Empire? As you say, you'd be sacked at once.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
13:17 / 22.03.03
The 'Empire' is hardly monolithic.
 
 
inhaler
15:27 / 24.03.03
Thank you for the support Bill.

I'm sorry my story is so weird and ridiculous, that's a lot of the reason why I've been scared about mentioning it to people. I'm afraid everyone will laugh at me or think I'm lying to them like Jack Denfeld does.
 
  

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