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Best junk email subject lines...

 
  

Page: 12(3)4

 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
02:00 / 20.04.03
I need your point of view to Help Change The Adult Industry
Fuck. That's like a porn version of the Bat Signal!

Well-trunked.
Presumably intended for Ganesh.
 
 
Bear
08:36 / 28.04.03
What????

Want to keep your septic system running like new for years?
We’re so confident in our product that we’re giving it away!

Click here for A FREE Trial of the SPC Septic Cleaner

Made with the strongest enzymes and harmless bacteria, our product is 100% environmentally safe, and in no way can harm you, your children, pets or your septic system.


Very strange!
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
16:15 / 28.04.03
Woohoo! After years of hoping and praying, I finally got my first piece of Nigerian scam email! Yes, William Okafor wants me to help him get money out of the country that he illegally accrued as part of the privatisation of the Nigerian electricity industry.

The email is in my junk folder, it's so tempting to start pissing them about...
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
17:33 / 28.04.03
The email is in my junk folder, it's so tempting to start pissing them about...

In which case, you may find this interesting, or even this come to think of it.
 
 
bitchiekittie
17:42 / 28.04.03
fairly mundane compared to these others, but I thought it sounded positively disgusting...of all things, I was offered:

loose weight
 
 
pomegranate
20:12 / 28.04.03
"bulimic girls getting protein injections"
no. no. no. no.
*shakes uncontrollably*
*packs bags, but there's no place to go*
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
23:30 / 12.05.03
Attention Christian Music Lover!
Boy, have you got the wrong guy.

NEW VIAGRA NOW!
OK. So that's not thrilling. BUt the fact that it came from Monet was.
 
 
Aethelwine Jedi
07:28 / 13.05.03
Friend, Spy Ear Blowout!

We Want Your Skin!

If you're not losing hair, don't open this.

Um... OK.
 
 
knickers
13:57 / 15.05.03
I'm still Bear: I kept misreading that as 'septic semen'. Which is, frankly, even more disturbing.
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
01:33 / 24.05.03
I just had to append the sell on this one too: it's genius.

bloomers!

BLOOMERS!

Custom hand-made quality bloomers for all occasions!

How many ways can YOU think of to wear your BLOOMERS?

The old Renaissance Cotton & Fleece Bloomers are back in style and women
and men, young and old,
are wearing bloomers as a fashion statement or simply to lounge around in
like a pair of pajamas or
sweat pants.

Our custom made Victorian bloomers are extremely affordable because we are
sensitive to your fashion
tastes as well as to your clothes budget.

You will find our low prices for "Standard Bloomers" allows you to obtain a
quality sewn pair of
Bloomers for the price you would spend for a regular pair of short legged
pants at a discount store.
Bloomers, knickers, and pantalets are a wardrobe staple for those looking
for renaissance and medieval
clothing and costumes, or women's plus size fashions. On the other hand,
some women may find the
lighter fabrics to be shear and sexy and often wear them as lingerie or
underwear.
We can custom design men's and boy's underwear, looking like old-fashioned
Knickers, hip boxers, and
even Punk clothing for the modern lifestyle!


I don't think I've ever really had cause to think of the multitude of ways I could wear my bloomers. But you can bet I am now.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
10:51 / 24.05.03
Recent gets:

john's going to laugh his ass off.

(To which the only sensible reply is "Cuckle my gladys.")

Similar to Lionheart's: Break Walls Apart With Your Big Johnson

And the fantastic Weight Loss Soap!
 
 
tom-karika nukes it from orbit
10:36 / 25.05.03
This today, from Korea, apparently:

WOMAN SEX!!!

Click here for 100% real WOMAN SEX IN YOUR INBOX TODAY!!!

Fedd up? You nedd some WOMAN SEX.

We are more WOMAN SEX than any other website.
 
 
that
13:19 / 25.05.03
I like that - that has a touch of class.
 
 
knickers
11:23 / 26.05.03
But I only nedd 57% real WOMAN SEX.

*sigh* I'll have to keep looking elsewhere.
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
18:29 / 29.05.03
And as we turn down the road of absolutely no class:

Shatter Her Meat Tunnel With Your Huge Husky Third Leg

Ugh...
 
 
rakehell
01:59 / 31.05.03
Bite that cock udnhkhooChduwkolqj1qhw

Yes, that's probably the noise you'd make if someone did bite that cock.

a university degree without wasting wealth and time

Why would I want one if they're such a waste of time?
 
 
Baz Auckland
03:56 / 31.05.03
Today I had an email with the subject: This is Robert Downey Jr. Please read carefully. Apparently he's selling viagra.

Later (and better), I had an email from Layne Staley offering to help me with my debts....FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE apparently...
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
12:44 / 13.07.03
"cronky duzrell" (which was porn spam)
"The magic of artistic paper-cuts" (Which offered pictures made of, er, paper. Which had been cut. Rather than paper-cuts.)
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
15:46 / 03.10.03
bamkup aolomitic

I have no idea what this means, yet now I feel I must go and form a band so that we may be called bamkup aolomitic.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
16:33 / 13.10.03
Joe men come here I avoided intercourse with them in every possible way. rithg

Subject line from a piece of penile enlargement spam.
 
 
pomegranate
17:02 / 13.10.03
my boyfriend got one entitled: this whore won't be able to walk tomorrow!!
*cringe*
 
 
Sobek
17:36 / 13.10.03

"Balls deep in grannie's sphincter" got the gold star today.
 
 
grant
18:26 / 13.10.03
I actually got a "Tired of inbox full of spam?" one the other day.
 
 
Papess
03:11 / 22.10.03
"man arrested for fondling a squirell agpabycp"


Maybe he was just trying to give the squirrel some of his nuts.
 
 
w1rebaby
03:28 / 22.10.03
My spam sits in a mailbox until I can be bothered to delete it. I rate it by the score that it hits on Spamassassin.

Here's the subject of my current winner, which got a rating of 51.3 - di-cky..y r u so small??? g doz mlsxnay oqtuvbik arhpkdbxoc ysp ctgjl ednw q q xvueqiol lhkouu imbnoekcfc fsihjkrxxt

If you're not familiar with Spamassassin, it rates things according to content. Here are the flags that were hit on this particular mail:

X-Spam-Hits:
ALL_NATURAL, BAYES_99, BIZ_TLD, CLICK_BELOW_CAPS, DATE_SPAMWARE_Y2K, FORGED_IMS_HTML, FORGED_IMS_TAGS, FORGED_MUA_IMS, HTML_50_60, HTML_FONTCOLOR_RED, HTML_FONT_BIG, HTML_FONT_INVISIBLE, HTML_MESSAGE, HTML_MIME_NO_HTML_TAG, IMPOTENCE, MIME_BASE64_TEXT, MIME_HTML_NO_CHARSET, MIME_HTML_ONLY, MIME_HTML_ONLY_MULTI, MISSING_MIMEOLE, MISSING_OUTLOOK_NAME, OBFUSCATING_COMMENT, PENIS_ENLARGE, PENIS_ENLARGE2, RCVD_IN_BL_SPAMCOP_NET, RCVD_IN_DSBL, SUBJ_HAS_SPACES, USERPASS

Some of them are admittedly arcane but many are fairly obvious. There's a competition running for the spammiest email received; I think the current winner is in the 60s, so I've got a way to go.
 
 
w1rebaby
03:29 / 22.10.03
Oh, and Spamassassin is a ninja. Goes without saying.
 
 
Papess
12:18 / 22.10.03
A Look At Grants


Grant's what? *snicker*
 
 
Baz Auckland
12:57 / 29.10.03
I just got an email from Naomi Klein with the subject 'why don't you IM me anymore?'.. I didn't think I had ever talked to her before... Of course, she's just selling penis enlargement. What a sell-out.

I also had an email for insect sex, which made me laugh for about five minutes until I realised it actually said incest. Much less funny.
 
 
Papess
21:18 / 18.11.03
Oh dear...

From :"Zachary Peebles"

To :

Subject : beating erectile dysfunction


Do I really need to comment?
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
09:09 / 26.11.03
I just got:

Tiny teen pussy stretched around FREAKISHLY large cocks

Twice.
 
 
MJ-12
12:50 / 26.11.03
0biometry consider mongoose crimea 6 sn

It's almost like getting email from the Doom Patrol.
 
 
ocko
15:06 / 26.11.03
More filth: the happily alliterative "Tiny Tina's Tight Teen Twat" and the frankly dangerous "Tried rimming while swimming?"
 
 
Bear
15:19 / 26.11.03
Haha Stoatie was your 2 from Sarah, we're getting them at work all the time now - couple of guys got sacked for downloading porn at work and they used their work email addresses to sign up - I mean come on!
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
18:59 / 17.07.04
I just 2 girls fucked by wolf, which for some reason made me laugh. I mean, what, you're too jaded to look at women with regular animals? No, for you, the discerning zoophile, it has to be some exotic breed. Looking forward to "Chicks with ginger pubes and an okapi!" or "Myopic Co-Ed with BADGERS!"
 
 
Baz Auckland
10:27 / 19.07.04
Yesterday morning I was greeted with 'Oral Sex = Pregnancy'.... and although tempted, I was not curious enough to open it.
 
  

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