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Best junk email subject lines...

  
  

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that
11:42 / 20.02.03
Junk email sometimes comes with sick, funny, interesting or downright weird subject lines. You never open the mails, but you read the subject headings - any favourites?

A couple of mine are:
Freaky Hospital Sex

and one I just received today:
Sticky Horse Sex
 
 
Dangerous
12:02 / 20.02.03
Oooh good topic - being a fool with an AOL email address, I've had some gems in the past.

But here are some I have right now:
Eat Pizza, watch TV..... and lose 22 pounds!!

Triple X dripping teen monkey sluts

Not quite sure about the pizza, but monkey sluts sound gooooooooood
 
 
deja_vroom
12:59 / 20.02.03
Unbelievable Midget Sex

Horse Party

Donkey Girls Uncensored At The Beach

JadeEmperor, please grow your penis safely

And my favorite ever...

Grow a beard!
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
13:10 / 20.02.03
Okay, I'm being perfectly serious now:

adsdfhidgsldkfghkj

The cheek of it! Can you imagine?!?
 
 
Shortfatdyke
13:12 / 20.02.03
Been wanting to start a thread like for AGES. Morbid fascination and all that. It's interesting to see how the junk mail titles have changed - maybe the people who send them have finally realised that I really am not interested in seeing "BRITNEY BEING FUCKED HARD" (always in capitals) because what I really need is to "Get a cock so big it scrapes on the ground.
 
 
Bear
13:13 / 20.02.03
I don't get it - who falls for spam mail, I mean who actually clicks on the links. Someone must or they wouldn't keep sending it right?
 
 
Dangerous
13:38 / 20.02.03
heh heh good point Bear. I can only assume it is old people. Not wanting to be 'ageist' here... but I can visualise it.

Oooooohhhh Maude look... this email says we can win $200,000 on a free casino in the 2 minutes it'll take for you to lose 700 lbs. While my penis grows to the size of Albania.



"Enter credit card number"



...

...

...

"Weird... I'm still fat"
 
 
videodrome
14:00 / 20.02.03
"California man caught screwing watermelons.!"

Always a favorite.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
14:01 / 20.02.03
Most of it is done by direct marketers, not the "merchants" themselves, and they actually want "eyeballs," not sales -- they want you to look at an ad. Even if they do have some kind of pitch, the sheer numbers stack up. You can email 5,000,000 people for about the price of a long distance phonecall. If 5% are in a stupid mood one day, you've made quite a nice return on your investment. Notice how it's mostly sex, weightloss, and travel, 3 of the all-time hustles because no one wants to admit they got ripped off on the first two and no one is sure they've been ripped off on the second.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
14:30 / 20.02.03
My favourites are the completely untargeted ones:

PATRICK Enlarge your manhood Guaranteed (I can promise you my name is not Patrick)

Once got one for Herbal Penis Enlargement, and have never forgotten it.

Jennifer Aniston sex also seems peculiarly prevalent.
 
 
Lionheart
14:41 / 20.02.03
My favorite one ever was:

"Break Through Walls With Your Cock"

Simple. Honest. True.
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
19:13 / 20.02.03
I have an unhealthy amusement with the latest fad of junk emails claiming to be from [insert third world country here], where [insert dictator here] has [insert crime here] the innocent people, and where the sender of the email just needs [insert gratuity here] to leave the oppressive regime. So much for pathos...
 
 
paw
21:07 / 20.02.03
the apocalypse is coming


Made me open it so i guess it worked
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
21:25 / 20.02.03
I got one a couple of weeks ago that said only this:

ponce de leon

Which is great.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
11:41 / 21.02.03
Today alone I have been invited to

GET HUNG PILLS

and (perhaps as a corollary)

BE A CONFIEDENT MAN
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
07:03 / 22.02.03
"Break through walls with your cock!" Lionheart, truly you have the god of inboxes.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
08:14 / 22.02.03
Tcha, I just get the dull ones offering to help me sort out my credit card debts... I feel like Bill Hicks when confronted by the drug seller who thinks he can only afford glue, I want to drag these spammers to a cash machine and go "look, I can maintain a comfortable standard of living (providing there are no acts of god)!"
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:27 / 22.02.03
I had one today advertising "the Napster of porn". It struck me that if that genuinely worked, it could be great. But I bet it's a filthy lie, so I just deleted it.
 
 
Mazarine
12:34 / 22.02.03
"Tired of having a too-tiny love pole?"
 
 
Ganesh
13:13 / 22.02.03
Earn great money from porn

Angel likes to walk around naked

I GAINED 1-3"
 
 
bitchiekittie
14:09 / 22.02.03
I just got the sticky horse sex one today.
 
 
iconoplast
19:24 / 22.02.03
http://www.math.sunysb.edu/~tony/scam-table.html

A compendium of email scam proposals recieved. Compiled, incidentally, by my dad.
 
 
tom-karika nukes it from orbit
19:44 / 22.02.03
'Have sex and earn cash'

Could life be better? Well, it's almost perfect, but I really wish that I could

'Grow More Breasts NOW!!!'

Yippee. I've always wanted a few more breasts.
 
 
iconoplast
20:37 / 22.02.03
(just got it)

bermejal kozeli SAMPLE blanku seditiones
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
21:27 / 22.02.03
"Lose weight in the shower!"

Presumably only if your water is highly acidic.

"Big feels good!"

Quite.

"Do you have a date emergency?" from DATE 911

Yep. Can't get this souffle to work...
 
 
Laughing
04:23 / 23.02.03
Just received this one t'other day:

"Your penis is too small!! Why?"

Beats the hell out of me.
 
 
Baz Auckland
15:46 / 23.02.03
seanmcglinchey loves lisa wrote:the apocalypse is coming...Made me open it so i guess it worked

I think I might have sent that... I used to do mass emails trying to recruit new members for my cult, and the subject line was usually "Apocalypse Update" or "the virus of the apocalypse is coming!".

I got a LOT of responses, so it must be a really good subject to use.
 
 
that
07:41 / 24.02.03
From this morning's mail: "Small-gone". Sounds like an LotR character.
 
 
rakehell
09:26 / 24.02.03
My all time favourite is:

Who are Ultra GAYS??? They are enduring and tough GAYS with a big dicks!
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
09:58 / 24.02.03
Horny Cock Sluts Impale Themselves on the Biggest Dildos on the Face of the Earth!!

What poultry do to themselves these days is just fowl.
 
 
mkt
11:07 / 25.02.03
I particularly like the ones that try to sound as though they're from a friend or colleague, like "Here's that ebony babe I told you about...". The best two I had recently are,

"Sexy and evil escorts are waiting for you"

Shit. Where? But best of all (in fact, I defy anyone to beat this for the least sexy porn subject),

"Teen babes that love freaky sized wankers"

Tee hee. Almost worth having to filter out all this shit every day...
 
 
Dangerous
12:51 / 25.02.03
Recently, junk mail seems to have switched from porn to mortgages. What's up with that? Is anyone else seeing this trend?

Have I somehow been removed from the global list of pornfreaks and been placed on the "old bastards who like comparing mortgage rates" list?

New in today:
"Fuck! 4% Mortgages - lowest rate ever!"

I guess the "fuck!" part appeals to my porn side... clever marketing.

Porn mortgages is the next step.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
20:08 / 02.03.03
mordantcarnival,A PLAN OF SALVATION!!!

Three exclamation marks. We're not at home to Mr. Sanity.

The Bible clearly says there are ONLY two types of people on earth.

THE SAVED... and ....
THE LOST
Which are you????

(Four question marks. Four. Not at home? We've taken out a restraining order on Mr. Sanity.)

Are you saved or are you lost? Do you have everlasting life? or will you not see life and the wrath of God abides upon you?

Those who are lost will spend their eternity in hell. Click here to read about

....HELL!!!!
On the other hand, those who are saved and washed in the blood of the Lamb (the Lord Jesus Christ) will spend their eternity in heaven! Click here to read about

....HEAVEN!!!!

Actually, I think we've loaded up the twelve-bore and we're taking pot-shots at the retreating back of Mr. Sanity.
 
 
lolita nation
22:02 / 02.03.03
I seriously just got this one today:

Subject: Anteater,
 
 
Saint Keggers
03:53 / 03.03.03
From the people dont think befoer they write them category...
Does your silhouette look better in the dark? Loose weight guarenteed!
 
  

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