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Best junk email subject lines...

  
  

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littlebopete
11:31 / 03.03.03
"Doom-Black Time-Train races into Hell with entire Mankind. "

yikes!

best ever porn spam subject:

"VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA"

who wouldn't be interested?
 
 
lolita nation
11:47 / 03.03.03
just to clarify, neither my name nor my email address has anything to do with anteaters.
 
 
_pin
19:31 / 03.03.03
I got "coal pipe" today. It's about life insurance.
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
21:36 / 03.03.03
It's a shame what they did to that dog!

I seeee.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
22:19 / 03.03.03
From: Reva Kilgore
Subject: Displacement submarining

Which turned out to be a plug for a sex site.
 
 
w1rebaby
14:13 / 04.03.03
This morning:

Hello,japanese girl VS playboy

Used with permission.

and the simple

Darling

These were all viruses so technically don't belong here.
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
14:32 / 04.03.03
Just received: Kidney for sale!
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
21:08 / 04.03.03
And another: Plastic Surgery Time:12:32:16 AM. The best thing? It apparently came from me.
 
 
Stone Mirror
18:28 / 05.03.03
My all time favorite: I love to sock dick!

I don't think that sounds like something I'd enjoy. I got socked in the eye once, and it was no fun at all.
 
 
Hieronymus
19:05 / 05.03.03
I dont usually read my junk email (I just delete it right off) but this one made me laugh for some reason:

WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU BANGED A SUPERMODEL??
Probably never, right? Let's face it, you'll never have the chance to either since they're too busy bangin' rockstars and celebs.

Why not be realistic & go for the normal chicks that are wayyyyy easier to nail with minimal effort. Take Flick on the right for example[picture of some tart here], she's not the hottest chick but after a couple beers & she'll do just fine. Our site has 1000's more plain jane sluts in vids & pictures doing the unimaginable! No snobby cunt supermodels here! Just nasty fuck sluts! All of it for nothing!!!

You're a loser but hey we love ya just the same. Remember, don't get your hopes up by wanking to supermodels. You should only masterbate to starkly ordinary girls because even in your fantasies, you won't get anywhere far.
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
20:41 / 05.03.03
Extreme colon cleaning!

Perhaps they do it with Pepsi Max?
 
 
grant
21:13 / 05.03.03
Just got The Goddess of Slithering today.
 
 
rakehell
22:44 / 05.03.03
Umm...actually, if I PMd you my email address grant, could you forward that one to me?

For research purposes, you undertand.
 
 
grant
13:07 / 06.03.03
Afraid I deleted it. Sorry.

It was Japanese bukkake, I think.
 
 
The Apple-Picker
11:00 / 07.03.03
I normally barely even glance at my junk mail subject lines--just enough to get the gist that they are spam, since I used to get about 400 junk e-mails a day. Now it's down to about 300.

I was, however, stunned by this one:

Saddam's Booty Call!
 
 
Ariadne
11:08 / 07.03.03
Likewise: I opened one this morning headlined 'press release' which turned out to be a link to a porn site. The blurb said something like 'See me take big men, and I'm a dirty whore so I don't charge a buck'. What sort of whore doesn't charge? She's been misled somewhere along the line.
 
 
Ariadne
11:15 / 07.03.03
oops. I'd have sworn I was posting straight after Mordant. Oh well.
 
 
that
16:37 / 07.03.03
Can cholister stay hard for up to ONE HOUR?!

Strangely, she can.
 
 
pomegranate
16:45 / 08.03.03
My friend got one that said: "Raping hot girls and wild horses!"
No shit.
 
 
that
08:03 / 09.03.03
"I'm Dead"
 
 
A
06:40 / 11.03.03
Erotica Bizarro!

Me am not interested!
 
 
Whisky Priestess
12:37 / 13.03.03
Junk email nothing. This is the best teaser description of a film I've ever heard:

"The film is a Tragicomedy entitled Wank"
 
 
grant
02:29 / 16.03.03
OK, this might be a new one:

054 RE: peace is never an option anymore- Ekmq 6129rdEr5-448GHin6140GGB-23


Seeing that as a subject line, I had to click it. Big letters, saying "THE END IS NEAR - so let's get drunk and party while we can" or some such. And (I'm not making this up) pictures of naked women pouring champagne on themselves interspersed with pictures of atomic explosions.

Let's see if *that* meme spreads....
 
 
grant
19:20 / 02.04.03
Another subject line I'm proud not to have made up:

her Serbo-Croatian record through Roosevelt's Norwegian volcano seems to be really amazingly starting testily to ache. while limping, Claudia Schiffer is seeming to be violet!

The email contains an image of appallingly typical Asian bukkake stuff.

But you gotta love the title.

Shit... I just got the same mail twice in a row.

Next subject line (different sender):
can you believe that she is appearing to be vague?

They're getting surreal....
 
 
William Sack
21:48 / 02.04.03
They're getting surreal....

Oh but mostly they're staying crude and blunt. "Tight te*n kunts" in the inbox earlier. I thought it odd that someone would put a * in teen when they were following it with the albeit misspelt "kunts" but that's probably a spam-filter thing isn't it.

I am pretty sure that I have seen a short story cobbled together largely out of junk email subject lines. It was surprisingly coherent, but predictably about a man who wanted a massive penis.
 
 
My Mom Thinks I'm Cool
22:30 / 02.04.03
"Shoot our cum targets like we do"

The actual email has a bunch of lines about how you love to do it on sunburned girls. Wonderfully broken english.
 
 
rizla mission
12:49 / 03.04.03
Forget porn, I got an email yesterday inviting me to the Daily Mail Ideal Home show.

AAARRGHHH!
 
 
Baz Auckland
04:02 / 14.04.03
I just got a spam email from "Richard Speck"! AAAAAAHHHHH!

It turned out to be an anti-aging growth hormone. But. Jesus Christ. No one should get spam from serial killers.
 
 
Rollo Kim, on location
10:03 / 14.04.03
"Clean Your Colon "

"Prevent "Doggy Destruction""
 
 
gingerbop
23:08 / 14.04.03
"I don't get it - who falls for spam mail, I mean who actually clicks on the links. Someone must or they wouldn't keep sending it right?"
-yeah i didnt get that either.

"bread-eating"
-SO amazingly random, i have to read it.
Oh. How dissapointing:
"didiodfkllglksgfhgjdjfsdldkfsodfjsjkldfsojfoweifoikjljlgkhujheghinieikewoiefiwioeiofgsopfdosoeifiosfo shjwefnoioowgkhkiytr make $200 an hour "
 
 
waxy dan
11:55 / 15.04.03
"Free Septic Samples!!"
&
"We bring good things to life!!!"


...it's when I realised that they both came from the same domain name that I started to get worried
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
19:06 / 19.04.03
Got one just now with a subject line that just read:

igor,

I was hoping it'd be for a discount bodyparts warehouse (Brainz'R'uS or Krayzee Kevin's Torso Shack) but it turned out to be for a 98% effective lie-detector.

Darn.
 
 
Hattie's Kitchen
19:19 / 19.04.03
If you are a steak lover like me..."

WTF? Am I on a secret meat-eaters perv list? Is there a website for people who like fucking ham shanks, I thought...

But then I opened the email and it was someone trying to sell me a set of steak knives.
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
21:29 / 19.04.03
Nude dwarf Tossing!!!

are you nude as you toss them, or are the dwarves nude? or, dare i ask, are both?!?!?
 
 
Elijah, Freelance Rabbi
01:43 / 20.04.03
oh, and my business only work email was recently signed up for a bunch of spam, such as
"Get millions in federal grants"
and by fav for the sheer ick factor
"bulimic girls getting protein injections"
 
  

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