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New Words for Trolls

 
  

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Spatula Clarke
22:42 / 18.11.02
Finally it's my turn for the "did anybody actually read my post" post. I've been waiting for that baton to get passed around.

Members of the Fire Brigades Union.
 
 
w1rebaby
22:58 / 18.11.02
What's wrong with a good hard intellectual wank? Just as long it's not the only use your intellect gets.

Monkey chisellers.
 
 
The Falcon
23:41 / 18.11.02
It's not that I don't mind a wank of any sort, rather than the little club of "Oh, you're so right!" I witness above, and have seen before. I find it distasteful and petty; Schwantz isn't paranoid - not from where I, a (relatively) neutral observer sit.

He made a snippy, jokey comment; not unlike his target is wont to do, and he got jumped on, by (as he calls it) 'supplicants' of the Haus. It doesn't appear he's far wrong.
 
 
The Falcon
23:42 / 18.11.02
Or she. But never, ever "ze".
 
 
Spatula Clarke
00:04 / 19.11.02
Is 3 the minimum number of people required for a club then? What's the difference between that and a clique? Interested parties need to know.

Actually, he got jumped on because he wheeled out an old standard and convinced himself that the negative comments were due to some vendetta carried over from a previous thread - a thread that I didn't pay a huge amount of attention too, either, especially when it became an all-out brawl. That his was a comment that centred on Haus is neither here nor there. A similarly snippy response is awaiting the next person who invokes El Knodgerino in this thread.

Now, let us never speak of this again, for fear of disappearing up our collective ring. I have pear drops and warm milk for the winner of the best new troll term. Second place gets all my good lovin'.
 
 
w1rebaby
00:11 / 19.11.02
I think "monkey chiseller" is good. It was originally invented to describe Dr Raj Persaud, you know.

In other environments there exist other terms. A right-wing troll who pops up to say "you damn dirty european liberals, what about the israelis eh? eh? here's an Ann Coulter article" is known as a freeper, from freerepublic.com which is where they're sent out on their missions. Or, alternatively, a bushbot.

We actually get fuck all trolls here, so it's hard to think of a proper descriptive term.
 
 
w1rebaby
00:14 / 19.11.02
I did think that a good "troll" replacement would be something so controversial, offensive and disgusting that Barbelith would grind to a halt to reflexively argue about whether that term could ever be used at all, crucially causing immediate derailment and non-feeding of said troll.

However I couldn't post that sort of magic phrase here, because it would just cause the same effect.
 
 
Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?
01:07 / 19.11.02
Schwantz, my dear, there was and is no point in telling me that there is no PC movement with one turn of the glass, and at the next blithely informing us of how the PC movement has paralysed opposition to religion.

Your argument was weak, your premise poor and your style of discussion increasingly rude as it dawned that your Bill Hicks tribute band was not generating the adoration you expected. People disagreed with you. When it became clear that you were not interested in actual discussion, some started to take the piss gently. It happens. As others have said, bearing a grudge, and expressing it so childishly, is unlikely to impress. Sorry. Them's the breaks.

Falconer - given that it took me a fair while even to notice events in this thread, it seems pretty poor form to suggest a club mentality, rather than, say, a bored response to an unmerited ad hominem piece of threadrot. However, if you genuinely believe that this is the case, why not gather together the huddled masses and plan out a series of threads so devastatingly insightful that the decadent cliquesters are reduced to speechless admiration?

Anyway, so far I think "fuckbake" may be leading the field, except that it will take a beautiful word out of general usage. Same problem with "arsebiscuit". "Monkey Chiseller" may well be the way of the future, but I can't shake the feeling that it would work better as a single word, as do all things. How about "scrotebadger"?
 
 
fluid_state
01:19 / 19.11.02
If speechless admiration is the currency of the board, cash me out, dealer. I will no longer admire in a vacuum! I VOTE CHUD!

although I do like fuckbake, I agree it would be a shame to remove it's current all-weather, steel-belted utility. Using profanities in this context almost seems... too good for 'em, somehow.
 
 
grant
01:57 / 19.11.02
Chud is niiiice. Has that living dead feel to it, the subterraneanness, the sense of repetition and lurking mindlessly in the shadows. Mmm.

Tasty chud.
 
 
ephemerat
04:49 / 19.11.02
I'm backing the 'koid: 'fucktrumpet' is both appropriate and catchy.

The process of being a fucktrumpet should be termed 'nodging', as in: 'Please stop nodging all over my thread', and the disorder that causes this kind of behaviour is clearly RDD (Restraint Deficit Disorder). Please see above.
 
 
The Strobe
08:51 / 19.11.02
Thing is, I feel we need a new word if it's to work. I LOVE "fucktrumpet", but I'd end up using it as a general expletive, and then it loses it's resonance. We're looking for a word to reserve, place behind safety glass, and break out when we REALLY need to - and it ought to be a word we wouldn't want to use in any other circumstance.
 
 
Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?
09:00 / 19.11.02
JimmySaville?
 
 
The Strobe
09:18 / 19.11.02
Exactly. Proper-noun appropriations are good. Similarly, the previous suggestion of "burchill". Lowercase. As in: "oh, he's burchilling" or "someone's burchilling in the Head Shop".
 
 
Bear
09:19 / 19.11.02
Jimmy Saville should always be kept behind glass. I like Chud or maybe Plank.
 
 
bio k9
09:35 / 19.11.02
Chudtrumpet.
 
 
Spatula Clarke
09:55 / 19.11.02
In that case, maybe TimmyMallett could become a catch-all term.

Scrub that: I propose WACing. Not that it'll mean anything to non-UK 'Lithers.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
11:21 / 19.11.02
Arsebake? Fuckbiscuit? Arsefuckbakebiscuit?
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
11:36 / 19.11.02
Heinous Alienating Uber-Scum.
 
 
Cat Chant
17:04 / 19.11.02
Dumbledore. Christ, I hate Albus Dumbledore. Please allow me to transform his horrible autonomy-denying heart-killing vileness into a term of abuse. And he's kind of a troll, in that he does horrible things to people or sets up ridiculously dangerous situations and then stands back, blinking innocently, when it all kicks off and pretends to be the voice of reason...

Albus Bloody Dumbledore.
 
 
w1rebaby
18:05 / 19.11.02
You need to put the Potter down and step back calmly. Step away from the Potter.
 
 
Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?
18:40 / 19.11.02
Fawkes. Because they are as jarring to the natural development of plot, character and discussion on Barbelith a big fuck-off deus ex machina bird flying in and dropping a big fuck-off deus ex machina hat, which proceeds to disgorge a big fuck-off deus ex machina sword, and happens, fortunately, to have mystical heeling properties and load-bearing claws, as was mentioned in passing by Albus Fucking Dumbledore only forty-five minutes earlier.

(P.S. apparently Ian McKellen is in the running to play Dumbledore. The man is going to be on every XXXL T-shirt in creation at this rate...)
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
19:50 / 19.11.02
"Chud", in my household, refers to something quite nasty that no one wants to clean up. As we are two slovenly guys living in a house w/two very messy cats, this word is used quite often.

So, yes. "Chud" works for me.
 
 
Linus Dunce
22:50 / 19.11.02
I'm trying to think of something to do with birdshit. You know the way it lands on your windscreen? But nothing comes. Monkey chiseller I like. It brings to mind some little fucker chipping away at a really crap construct in a bestial kind of way.
 
 
Cat Chant
23:21 / 19.11.02
Haus, don't get me started on Fawkes.
 
 
fluid_state
23:43 / 19.11.02
Restraint Defecit Disorder! Oh, that's going into my arsenal immediately. I think I'll get to understanding the condition by manifesting it in my next phone conversation. I think I'll call my gf...

Is there not a Barbeloid by the name of Fawkes? Or am I missing some clever joke in reference to the first page of this thread?

Here can be found the Jargon Lexicons definition of "troll":
http://www.tuxedo.org/~esr/jargon/html/entry/troll.html
Curious that there's only one near-synonym; the word "kook", by their definition, seems to better describe BarbeTrolls. It's not a lot of fun though.
 
 
gravitybitch
01:00 / 20.11.02
I'm trying to think of something to do with birdshit. You know the way it lands on your windscreen?

Shitsplat would be a wonderful description of a post by a [troll]. Something that causes the thread to instantaneously decompose with much odor, rather than just turning a little sour around the edges...

Hmmm. [troll] = fecesmonger? known as FM??
 
 
Persephone
03:15 / 20.11.02
[utter rot]

You know what bothers me about Fawkes? One of his tail feathers is in Harry's wand, right? A tail feather is a big feather, isn't it? It's not just like a bit of down. How is it in the wand? Is it sliced? Is it folded? Is it rolled up very tightly? And do you suppose that wands are made in two halves, like pencils? Or are they whole, with a hole bored down the middle?

(Yes, I am just from the movie.)

Dammit, I want a wand. I want one so bad.

[/ur]
 
 
ephemerat
07:49 / 20.11.02
[utter rot]

I'm unfortunately not an expert wand-maker but armed with my housemate's copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone I observe that wands are described as having cores (perhaps like a pencil). Alternate core ingredients include unicorn hairs (which I assume are relatively small) and dragon heartstrings (which I assume are relatively large) thus leading me to wonder how the core ingredients are prepared and what the relative volumes of wand cores are. Logic would dictate that the cores are very small and only an essence of the ingredient is used because:

a) I assume that not only will your average dragon not take kindly to any attempt to remove his heartstrings (no matter how philanthropic your motivations) but they also seem particularly ill-adapted for battery farming techniques.

b) phoenix are bloody rare, very powerful and somewhat warm by all accounts, and...

c) unless they have some kind of extensive unicorn shearing facilities, there are going to be a very few, very bald, and probably, very unhappy unicorns wandering around.

None of which is mentioned - in fact, Rowling seems a little evasive on the whole subject for some reason: I am certain, however, that the next book will contain extensive notes on magical-agricultural farming methods, economics in a magically industrialised culture, labour relations, breeding programs and basic craft techniques.

[/ur]
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
09:29 / 20.11.02
Chupacabras. As in "reports are coming in of a chupacabras sighting in the Creation..."

Also, so we can eject them with a hearty "seeya later, goat-fellater".
And only the most witty and urbane t**** will have the nous to reply "In a while, necrophile".
 
 
The Falcon
12:43 / 20.11.02
Falconer - given that it took me a fair while even to notice events in this thread, it seems pretty poor form to suggest a club mentality, rather than, say, a bored response to an unmerited ad hominem piece of threadrot. However, if you genuinely believe that this is the case, why not gather together the huddled masses and plan out a series of threads so devastatingly insightful that the decadent cliquesters are reduced to speechless admiration?

Like the use of the surname - v. good; dismissive, but not overtly so.
Favourite other phrases: "huddled masses", "decadent cliquesters" - does it ever occur you occasionally sound like a bit of a prick, Haus?

Incidentally, I very much doubt that you'll get a new consensus word for troll, but you're welcome to keep trying. Trolling is a practice that I suspect you and I, Haus, have been guilty of, although perhaps, respectively, considering ourselves as an agent provocateur. Thing is, I like debate - if that makes me a 'troll', so be it.

I suggest club, or more correctly (as was pointed out) clique, mentality, because I see the same names, the ones who were here first! ('old Barbelith'?) pouncing on single posters ('new Barbelith'?). Jack Fear jumped on me, and then ran away after finding I had the stomach for it, when I first started posting in the comics forum. He, as you've done here with Schwantz, failed to address any of several valid points raised contra his argument. The pair of you go about your posting business at Barbelith with an extraordinarily supercilious manner, not always counterbalanced with the requisite amount of wit and insight necessary - though I'm willing to admit it's there on several occasions; you're both clearly smart guys. Why then, do you seem to find it necessary to belittle other, newer (younger? less public-school educated?) posters? It seems remarkably churlish.

As for PC, it is you, Haus, isn't it, that's so willing to point out, circuitously or otherwise, the racism of others? Like the 21st century liberal cry that's equivalent to 17th century "Atheist!"; no-one (here) can be it - but we can project it upon others. That's what I'd describe as symptomatic of sufferers of the PC 'meme', if you will, as I'm sure we've more than cleared up the 'movement' problem. Which is precisely ... fuck ... all like Zionism, Communism, blah, blah, blah - and I'm fairly sure no-one ever suggested otherwise.
 
 
Bear
12:48 / 20.11.02
Julia Roberts
 
 
gridley
12:55 / 20.11.02
I would vote for using the root word trumpet, modified by another prefix-word that can be specifically tailored to your feelings about that particular trumpet... err... troll.

For example,

One person may be a fucktrumpet, another might be a arsetrumpet. Then there might be a goptrumpet, a bogtrumpet, and a chudtrumpet behind them. There might even someday be a strumpettrumpet. One can only hope.
 
 
The Natural Way
13:01 / 20.11.02
Duncan, with respect, Jack didn't back away because he's scared of you.

This place really isn't what you think it is. These posters aren't who you think they are.
 
 
Jack Fear
13:02 / 20.11.02
Jack Fear jumped on me, and then ran away after finding I had the stomach for it...

...or got bored, which is more likely. Because quite frankly I can't even remember what the hell you're talking about.
 
  

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