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"Haterz no like, but they got to fuck widdit cos the flow's so tight!" - Jay-Z
There's some fantastic pop music about at the moment. Let me tell ya bout:
'Down Boy' by Holly Valance - nice to have Nellee Hooper producing again (unless he's never been away and I've just missed stuff); even nicer that he has embraced POP! in all its glory. This is a slinky record: it slinks. It is pervtastic, it is Ms Vallance saying "fuck waiting, I'm going to record my 'Justify My Love' right now". It says more to me about sex and cruelty than a thousand record by the likes of Nine Inch Nails could ever hope to achieve. It makes me want to dance in my pants. Like Holly Valance.
Craig David's forthcoming single, 'What's Your Flava?' (I'm assuming it's not written 'What's Yr Flava?', 'What's Yer Flava?' or some other variant, although if it is - respect due), is full-on 'Planet Rock' style electro funk - now that's a comeback, and one that tempts me to move from mildly liking Craig to wanting to hoist him onto my shoulders and bear him through the streets of London, cheering. Did you see him on telly performing this at the MoBos? He's gone electroclash, he's obviously been listening to a lot of Cameo and hanging around in Shoreditch or something. Ace.
Pink's 'Just Like A Pill' sounds like the theme tune for a mid-80s road movie about a sexually-confused teenage girl who just broke out of the asylum her cruel parents had her committed to and is trekking across America trying to find herself. If they cast Pink and her fly-ass hair in that movie I would go see it. Still can't believe she actually managed to pull of the trick of becoming AngstyGothyRockPink and still having number 1 singles and not being anywhere near as annoying as I expected - I eat my words... (That 'Complicated' woman is clearly also doing the 80s teen angst movie theme thang - it's now officially a genre.)
A brief mention of Shakira, the craziest woman in pop. Her new single is called 'Objection Tango' and appears to be mostly influence by Dick Dale - surf guitar everywhere. Her forthcoming tour is apparently called 'Tour of The Mongoose', and there is genuine madness in her eyes. No wonder Gabriel Garcia Marquez likes her.
Some sceptical sceptics have expressed scepticism at the sincerity of Britney Spears' latest single, a cover of Joan Jett's 'I Love Rock'n'Roll'. I see no reason to do so. It's big dumb chant-a-long ROCK anthemics, and suddenly you see the Britney/Steven Tyler connection - the spandex pants, the hair, of course! If this is her next direction, she ought to follow it up with a cover of 'Walk This Way' featuring Ja Rule, Eve and possibly Nelly. The video meanwhile, in which Britney would appear at one point to be auditioning for a role in the Village People, proves yet again if proof be need be that it is David LaChapelle's world, and we just live in it.
On a related note, in what we might call 'Haterz Corner', Ryan Adams written a song in response to 'Boys'. Adams says: "I wanted to write a song in defence of men, because we're not all players. There are romantics who don't think about panty lines and don't talk shit about women. And just because Britney can't find one doesn't mean that I'm supposed to be chastised for it. The song doesn't attack Britney or anything, it attacks this preconceived notion that men cannot be romantic intellectuals." "Romantic Intellectual" Ryan Adams is officially the dumbest man making music in the world today, and I cannot help but wonder if he has even heard the Britney song in question. He is not as good as Bryan Adams, who at least did 'Summer of 69'. If The Neptunes see him at a celeb shindig, they should hit him with sticks.
Pop music. You know you love it really. |
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