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The Haus of Questions - Barbinterview

 
  

Page: 123(4)56

 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
14:28 / 01.10.02
Do you keep track of threads in the Magick forum? If I said I thought it would be fun if you posted there at least once a day, because your perspective would be interesting and productive to the standard of debate, would you consider it? Please give reasons for your answer.

The Magick is, he admitted somewhat shamefacedly, the only bit of Barbelith I can expect to go for weeks without really looking at. It's not even that I have no *interest* in Magick, and to nod sorrowfully along at lamentations that the Magick is a ghetto and what a pity it is is in this context a bit poo.

However....when I do go in there I tend to find that the subject matter divides three ways

1) Stuff that is way over my head, so any involvement would probably just be irritating.
2) Stuff that doesn't particularly grab me generally, so my involvement would probably be diffident.
3) Stuff that fucking terrifies me, so my involvement woudl probably be hostile.

It's (3), I think, that worries me the most. F'r example, the thread some time ago when a fellow was asking for good ways to kill somebody using magic, in a way he probably wouldn't have been asking for tips on how to kill somebody with a pistol. Although not in the magic, the "What is "asteron'" thread, where someone who seemed a novice asked for information on a word, and was misled by somebody who wanted to give the impression of knowledge after a quick web search. If, as a result of that, he had ended up invoking the wrong thing, or the right thing in the wrong way....well, could all have ended in tears, a bit.

Now, you could say that if that thread had happened in the Magick rather than the Conversation it would have been dealt with far more responsibly. Which I could not refute.

I guess the other reason I am chary of the Magick is that whole Ierne clusterfuck. Now, I have no idea what went on there, but it seems that her involvement with the Magick led to her retirement from Barbelith, which speaking for the Head Shop I would say is a terrible shame, and has, I think, reinforced the Magick's status as a bit of a no-man's-land.

However, if you think it would be broadening, I may well give it a go - just accept my apologies in advance if I sound like a tourist, and indulge my spotty understanding.
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
20:56 / 01.10.02
You're coming across quite nicely on this end, Haus. It seems to me now that perhaps one of the reasons that I could never quite get my head around the Haus suit is the aforementioned emotional distance you (understandably, as evidenced in this very thread) maintain in general. Those moments when you let your guard down, though, make me not only curious to know what you're like IRL (as I was before) but actually make me want to know you. And this is a good thing, I would like to think.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
23:09 / 01.10.02
Tell us about the hardest decision you ever had to make.

Exp. could you add this to the questions to be dealt with after the other questions could be answered? Am struggling to think right now, in the web of option paralysis...

Avon = Garak. Discuss, if you know what the hell I'm talking about.

I know what you are talking about, but I fear that my innocence of DS9 will make this question unanswerable. I hope this will change over time.

Please tell us about the last time you were moved to tears by a work of art, in any medium (when I say art, I'm talking music, film, painting - anything). What do you think it was that had that effect on you?

I'm afraid that you have caught me at a bad time. When I was 17, I cried for twelve hours straight, for what at the time seemed good reasons, and it broke me; for the next ten years, anything that made me cry was a minor triumph; I was all cried out. I was the stoniest fucker known to man.

And now I find myself in a strange place, where so many different thing give me, not tears, but the feeling of fullness at the bridge of the nose that tells you that, if you weren't you, you would be crying right now. But I will do my best.

The last song that made me cry was the Magnetic Fields' "100,000 Fireflies", last weekend.

The last poem that made me cry was a month ago, and was Fleur Adcock's "The Keepsake", which is about a book loaned to the writer and made a gift by the lender's death.

The last artwork that made me not cry, but need to be alone and away from others in case I did, was the sculpture of the gods on the frieze of the Parthenon. Fortunately, the epistelic room is famously devoid of traffic, so I could dive down two levels of the British Museum until everything felt OK again.

The last book that made me cry was Roland Barthes, Mythologies. Every few months I get wasted and read it, and cry. Which is stupid, I realise.
 
 
Ethan Hawke
23:27 / 01.10.02
You need to go find a live version of 100,000 Fireflies with Merritt on vocals. I downloaded one from soulseek the other day, and it was so beautiful and right that I started to cry when I heard it.
 
 
grant
01:53 / 02.10.02
Why do we still live here, in this repulsive town, when all our friends are in New York?

and

Why do we keep shrieking, when we mean soft things?
 
 
The Natural Way
07:55 / 02.10.02
Oh,
 
 
The Natural Way
07:55 / 02.10.02
Oh,
 
 
The Natural Way
07:56 / 02.10.02
I like that question.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:39 / 02.10.02
Oops. Forgot about the second half of the question.

There are things that make me cry through their own efforts, or possibly because they are designed essentially to tearjerk. Like "The Little Prince", "It's a Wonderful Life", the last movement of "Romeo and Juliet", "King Lear" or "Smoke and Mirrors" by the MFs (again) - basically teariness-inducing mechanisms. But (process eidesis again), usually it is because I am being reminded of something or of an emotional state I felt in the past.

So, f'r example, "100,000 Fireflies" is a very sad and beautiful song (and need that Merritt version. Neeeeeeed), but the situation into which it was brought had actually done most of the work of getting me into position for my bawls to drop, as it were - the song just sort of rolled up the feelings and delivered them in a neat package. Christ, I got sniffly hearing "Save Me" by Remy Zero shortly thereafter. I was a mess. Likewise, "the Keepsake" is one of Adcock's better poems, IMHO, but it also reminded me of the way I experience loss and how the loaned book becomes a bequest by default. Which I suppose is one of the criteria of a good poem, now that I think about it. Hmmm. Mythologies probably doesn't count, because that is a piece of purely selfish emotional catharsis, and not really about art at all.

The Parthenon frieze is because...well, wouldn't you? There were these guys, living 2,450-odd years ago, crafting these works of unbelievable sadness and joy - and holding the two togeher perfectly, where a celebratory procession is a funeral procession is a religious observance. And at the end of that procession and that process of creation are the beings that infect the air and the city, creatures of incredible power and inexplicable ways who have been called forth to witness the rites and obeisance of the city, and the people, and the artists themselves. That's what the Parthenon *is* - it's a prayer in stone, and has been praying, in one way or another, for those 2,450-odd years. Essentially, that prayer has been that "civilisation" wins. Which in turn is why I think Deva makes many very good and compelling points about destroying Classics in the Head Shop, and why certainly it needs to be handled very carefully and torn apart, blown off its moorings, cut and melted and licked into new and strange configurations.

But this is the real dope; classical crack, if you will. And it got blown up, shipped out and half of it's in fucking Copenhagen. Go figure.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
17:23 / 05.10.02
What would your question(s) be for another poster, and why would you ask hir this/e question(s)?

There are some questions for Flyboy in the "Barbinterview Week 4" thread, which I am asking because I'm hoping the responses will be amusing and enlightening. And because Flyboy really wants to be interviewed.


Why the change back to Tannhauser? At first I was under the impression that you had a Tann suit and a separate Haus one, and presumed that Haus was reserved for posts 'in character'. Is that not the case?

Not.....exactly. I tend to change my name back to Tannhauser when I want to purify my head a bit - it seems less "Hausy" than "the Haus of", just because. I seem to be addressed as "Tann" or "Haus" pretty much interchangeably. I did have a ficsuit devoted to making points on threads where a post from Tannhauser might be taken the wrong way, who developed a more "likeable", or at least more eager to please, persona than Tannhauser, called Alki Pepoithos, which is a gag nobody ever gets. Those two suits basically integrated when the board was rebooted the time before last as deletia, who turned into the Haus of.

Tannhauser is a "default" - my persona unaffected by any of the moderators applied to the Haus of. Right at this moment I am feeling quite Eleanor M Brent Dyerish, so Haus captain and lacky sticks all round. Once I stabilise a bit, I'll be back to Tannhauser for a while, I think. But something that is becoming clear in my head is that the division between Tannhauser and the "signified-by-'me'" is probably *less* binary than is generally supposed.

From comments made by those who know you well off-board, it seems that Haus is a concerted attempt to post in a particular manner, rather than a true representation of you IRL. If this is the case, do you not get tired of it? Has the Haus character become a monster that you've now got little control over, or is there little difference between you anyway?

And with perfect timing...

The disjunction between "s-b-m" and Tannhauser is partly contextual - I write differently to how I talk, I am more likely to be talking about people and things rather than ideas, and I am more likely to give my interlocutor a great big hug if I am in the pub.

I guess I get tired sometimes that Tannhauser seems often to be seen as a one-dimensional suit - Mr Snarky, Posh Paws, Cerberus of PC, and so on - when that is more about specific readings than, I think, me. I'm actually a great big cuddly fluffy hug of a Haus around here as well, but it is edited out as incongruous. Plus, of course, if I got barracked in a pub the way I sometimes am around here I would probably leave it or follow a natural progression to fisticuffs - Barbelith's endless postponement of actual kicking off or pissing off is both a good and a bad thing. Hey ho.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
23:42 / 06.10.02
Where do you really stand on the liberalism versus protection from exploitation divide. This comes up so often in the Head Shop, but I'm never actually sure where you stand even though you demonstrate lots of interest. So. Porn, prostitution, human tables. Are the people involved unavoidably victims of power relations?

Well, I don't know. I know that the human tables thing has an ick factor for me, but then a fair few things that don't actually hurt anyone have an ick factor, and many things I actively enjoy *do* hurt people. Often quite badly. Likewise, porn does comparatively little for me and I've never felt the need to employ a sex trade worker, but then I've also never drunk Sunny Delight. Must I therefore despise it? All right, bad example.

I doubt that people involved in any of these things are *unavoidably* victims of class structures. As is being suggested over in the Head Shop, it may be that without due care and attention they default to exploitative modes. I'm interested in finding out more.

What about feminism? You often seem keen to discuss it and quick to point out other people's unexamined views. I'm not trying to start a fight here but I think it would be interesting to contrast your views with those of last week's winner. How do you respond to,
"Feminism as an institution I find unhelpful...To focus on any specific strand is to miss the point. It’s still a division, an us versus them. I find the hostility toward men frequently found in sex and gender discussions absurd."


Hmmm. I'm not the person to talk to about feminism, or indeed feminisms. Laurence's belief seems sincere, but has that very typical thing where the cry of "us versus them" is only raised when "them" start getting uppity. Likewise, to dismiss feminism on the grounds that some discussions about "sex and gender" (so, not feminism then) involve hostility towards men is, to put it politely, fucking moronic. It functions on the level of "a woman nicked my car once. Bitches."

The desire not to distinguish between "strands" of feminism seems a curious one - an effort of will comparable to assuming that all philosophy in the last century or so has been exactly idenitical to Heideggerianism, and every opinion espoused by a philosopher that of Martin Heidegger. Which is a defensible position, but not a very sensible one.

So, I would suggest that to lump in all schools of feminist thought together and then to say "Look! Man-haters!" is not terribly productive. Laurence's belief that the "battle of the Sexes" is a manifestation of the class struggle is a more interesting avenue, and probably a more profitable one.

Why do feminism and issues of gender concern you so?

Well, they're interesting, and I'd like to know more about them. Can't really think of a better reason, offhand.
 
 
Lurid Archive
00:19 / 07.10.02
Interestingly noncommital. Perhaps it is most important to decide on the really important things like "don't be a bigot". Working out the detail is less pressing and much more difficult.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
10:10 / 07.10.02
Well, if I'm Avon, then I distrust all deeply-felt political beliefs...


Incidentally, has everyone been checking the "Barbinterview Week 4" thread? Your vote counts....and it's quite funny to see dear old Solarisone Else, who now has people joining a three-month waiting list just to call him a twat, still apparently convinced that he's the rebel alliance. Those Superman pyjamas may be stained with sweat and piss, but they are still Superman pyjamas. He wears the SHIELD, darn it....

Not sure exactly where your politics are. What do you think of anrchists and anti-capitalist/anti-globalisation movement?

I think they're useful. I don't believe that any of the many anti-Capitalist, anti-Globalisation or Anarchist ideologies currently being espoused by different groups is going to replace the current systems of power (or, more precisely, replace the curent primary operators of the system of power in which they are all implicated), but then that isn't really the point, as Blake never quite worked out. In concert with any number of other groups, factors and beliefs they have the potential to retard, alter and jam the processes through which power currently operates. They'll fail, of course, but that's no reason not to do it.

Fictionsuit.

How much disparity do you feel there is between your fictionsuit and you real self? To put it another way, do you accept the description of *real life Haus* as fluffy and cuddly while that of Haus as prickly and aloof? To what extent can a long term facade really be said to be "not real"?


I think that's pretty much been covered, I think - except maybe the last part. And personally I'd suspect the characterisation of Haus is more "solid", and thus perhaps more real, than "signified-by-me", who is by comparison wildly inconsistent and diverse.

What things really wind you up about other's posts on Barbelith?(Again, don't want to start any fights so feel free to ignore if you feel it would be politic.) What things do you love?

Things that wind me up - hmmm. Threadrot, I guess, particularly in the Revolution. Which probably spins off into lots of other areas. People deciding that talking about themselves is more important than talking about the topic. Conversations about last night's tapioca across serious threads - they're called Private Messages, children, and they are easier to use than your medical alert button. Earcocking, which is primarily annoying for being threadrotty but also just.....terribly, terribly depressing, as it tends to support the thesis that people on Bulletin Boards flirt with the finesse and style of a man in boxing gloves masturbating.

In fact, I'm going to expatiate on this a little, because I can. I have at times been criticised for a) not joining in the harmless fun of flirting and b) being down on heterosexuals. I believe it was Special Boy Potus who argued that I have never once complained that a thread was being derailed by queer flirting. He was less than successful in finding any thread that had been, of course, and maybe there's a Jerry's Final Thought in that for all of us. Besides, the worst earcockers tend to be no respecters of gender. As for a)...what people seem to struggle to realise is that I am generally flirting monstrously and shamelessly with all sorts of posters, tail and no-tail, all the time. It just takes a little skill to notice. Because if you are flirting with somebody with the intention of trying to make them either flirt back or open their hot, willing ears to your Giant-Sized Man-Thing, you're missing the point.

A variant of this on occasion practised with more success by certain of our no-tail contingent is to pop up at the mention of a particular noun or concept and use it as a launchpad for a comment on how perky their nippples seem to be, or how much they enjoy having sex with another woman while an invited audience looks on. As near as I can tell, this is trolling, or perhaps more accurately trawling, and should be treated with amused tolerance in the Conversation and swift excision elsewhere.

Otherwise - dogmatism, or more precisely the holding of an opinion so firmly that the very idea of dissent is not credible; faced with any criticism of the belief they have advanced, the subject will simply retender it unchanged, on the assumption that the dissent must be the result of a failure by hir interlocutor to understand it, and that once it is taken on board any misguided criticism shall fade away.

A subspecies of this is the person who through lack of specific knowledge or general dimness is incapable either of addressing a subject or comprehending their failure. A recently-returned poster distinguished hirself on this by failing utterly to comprehend how hir contention that too great a variance from hir own body type was undesirable could possibly be seen as offensive or open to criticism. That's not "the normal body type", loaded and incoherent concept though that may be. That is, very specifically, the body type of somebody in their late twenties who has gone to seed a bit. Yes.

Oh, and posters jumping into threads with a post beginning "Haven't had a chance to read this thread yet, but....". You're sitting at a computer. You have time to venture an opinion. Take some of that time to check that said opinion was not mentioned, discussed and rejected three posts in. And look up "ataraxy" while you're about it.

Oh, and feuds. They seem increasingly pointless as I get older and crustier, and probably create threadrots and ulcers in approximately equal measure. If you are carrying grievances from one thread to another, then you are probably going to end up doing the new thread a disservice.

As for what I love - everything else, I guess, except for the benign but tired ninjas and pirates schtick. The ideas, the generally high level of discussion, the opportunity to share thoughts with people from a very much more varied and broad monoculture than I am used to, the endless huggles...Barbelith is, for all its faults, an exceptionally cool place, full of exceptionally lovely people. The Head Shop, Lab and Switchboard in particular I find fascinating sources for stories and ideas, and the potential for hanging out and being silly in the Conversation leavens that rather effectively. It's a new and very involving way to interact with public and private space, and ideen with public and private people.

As for things I love...
 
 
Jack Fear
11:50 / 07.10.02
Me! ME! Say you love meeeeeeee!
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:54 / 07.10.02
Yes, Jack. I love you I love you I love you. Although your attitude to piercings and tattoos is almost completely fucked up, yet I love you.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:10 / 07.10.02
And the last three, coincidentally all about cooking. Exp,. if you want to send the stragglers up the line, then we can blow this thing and go home...

Do you cook and bake? Are you any good? Do other people think you're any good? What's your favorite dessert to eat? What's your favorite dessert to make?

Good lord, no. One of my great failures is an almost total incompetence when it comes to cookery. I'm far too idle, I'm afraid, and not nearly concerned enough about the sensual pleasures of eating. So, I tend to take vitamin supplements and eat a lot of pasta and lettuce, fresh fruit, some oily fish for the Omega 3, tuna, take antioxidants in green tea....all very basic in a "mechanisms for sustaining life" kind of a way.

So, no, dinner Chez Tannhauser is rarely greeted with yummy noises ad smacked lips. I tend to take people out to dinner, or manage their expectations ruthlessly.

It's a failing - I blame catered accommodation at college. I would like to do something about it - perhaps during my next lax period, when it might also be a good way to conserve some money...

So, I'm afraid I don't think I have ever made a dessert. Come to think of it, I don't think I could *name* a favourite dessert, apart from possibly "coffee". I eat sweet things so rarely that they do strange things to my system. Ummm...oh! There's a sticky toffee pudding sold in a restaurant in Ambleside, in the Lake District, the name of which I fear I don't recall at present, which rocks deeply tough. Very rich, mouth-searingly hot, and the sponge is perfect.

You're at a dinner. The entree consists of boiled dog. How do you respond?

I don't eat meat that often, so would probably ask for a small portion, for my stomach's sake. If dog is dark meat, I might pass. But the idea doesn't particularly offend or disgust me. After all, lamnbs and rabbits are cute as all get-out, and people eat them.

Milk chocolate or dark?

Chocolate very rarely, but dark. There's an organic high-cocoa dark chocolate by Green and Black, a bar of which was given to me for my birthday last year, which is almost ferrous in its intensity. I think that was the last time I ate chocolate for pleasure, although I do eat it as a cheap sugar source if I have to stay up late.
 
 
Seth
21:09 / 07.10.02
I've got a great recipe for yummy tortillas you can have. They are yummy.

Collating the thread chunnel. It'll be with you shortly.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
06:22 / 08.10.02
Nearly there, kittens. So nearly there...

What do you think of Blake?

Honestly. Dreadful old Fascist? Intergalactic pig farmer? Strong-jawed hero of the Left? Angry Young(ish) Man? Pointless cretin? And how does your view of Blake affect how you see Avon? Do you think Avon likes Blake?


I think my view of Blake ultimately changes from episode to episode, as indeed, it seems, does the writers'. In general, every possible criticism that cpuld be levelled has a refutation. For example, I don't think we ever receive anything resembling a cohesive exposition on his political philosophy, or the means by which he seeks to implement it. However, one could perfectly reasonably point out that four hour political philosophy discussion and planning meetings are not great TV, although easy on the budget. Also, I realise I have been spoiled by Buffy, where narrative is essentially and increasingly sequential, whereas one of the interesting things about Blakes 7 is that we are looking at highlights of a campaign that may well have lasted for far longer than the life of the program - I tend to imagine the series as telescoping toward an end point over about a decade, with S4 taking far less time than S3.

However, just as most of the interesting (read, involved or expensive) things in the campaign of the Liberator happen off-camera and have to be reexcavated by fanfiction, the most interesting bits of Blake are the ones that are only suggested by the series - his previous leadership of the Freedom Party, his relationship with Avon (which on one level is consistently elided by the series, but on another is its heart and focus, a disappearing act of magnificent complexity), and his role within the broader rebellion.

So, Blake. I like him, basically, although rather against my will (see what I'm doing there?). He's *necessary* - a vital structural component, because without him you have no narrative drive, but also necessary because people like Avon need people like him. Avon can't *believe* in anything, really, except his numbers (I maintain that his attempt to crack the Intergalactic Banking system was a combination of an intellectual challenge and a curiosity about what all those numnbers would look like running into lots of different deposit accounts). He needs Blake, or somebody like Blake (I suspect Del Grant fulfilled this function for a while), through whom he can engage with the world. And without Blake, I think his incipient psychosis is an attempt to balance his desire to find Blake/carry on Blake's work/remain engaged, acnowledgedly or not, with his inability to engage emotionally with the struggle - notable in particular in S4, when everything starts to break down into a puzzle, culminating in "Orbit", when Vila becomes a necessary puzzle piece to be resolved in order to solve a problem.

Blake could probably live without Avon, although his rebellion would probably have ended fairly shortly when he did something silly and Avon wasn't around to haul his arse out of it - I'd say he'd have got as far as Voice from the Past at best. Avon, I suspect, could ultimately not have lived without Blake, or somebody like Blake.

I realise that this is actually an answer about Avon. Hmmm. See what I did there? So, Blake. I respect his belief, if not his beliefs. I think he doesn't get nearly enough credit for being witty, sharp, actually very bright and generally not speaking in great big perorations about the importance of free thought. I think he's surprisingly velvet-glovey with the Liberator crew and others. But why in God's name does he not just give Avon a cuddle on the flight deck once in a while? It wouldn't kill him. Great big curly-haired closet case...
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
07:48 / 08.10.02
Oh, and yummy tortillas! Yes! In fact, I feel a barberecipe thread coming on....

Which Avon do you prefer - Awkward Tech Avon or Flawlessly Cool Cynic-Genius Avon? Do you synthesize them into a single Avon, Hegel-style, or allow their contradictions to fray the selvedges of the character, Derrida-style?

I'd say there are lots more Avons than that; geeky physical coward Avon and eat-my-pork wrasslin' Avon, for example.

I think the thing about Avon is that *he thinks he's really clever*. Not just in the way that he *is* really clever, but he also thinks he is emotionally intelligent, a great reader of people, handy in a scrap, and so on. And he's wrong. Just so, so wrong. And he's only really at his best when he is given a chance to do computery tech stuff, which he has less and less chance to do in S4, because he has to take over control of the group, and is therefore all frustratd and bonkers becasue he just wants to be alone with ORAC and some red wine. Simply, he's trying to function as if he had Blake to function through, and he can't do it. Which is just *hearbreaking*, and makes me want to give him big huggles.

Which is why I think that you can't have a credible PGP in which Blake dies and the wheels *don't* come off Avon...except that, in the very vague field of "computers", he remains just terrifyingly clever (computer tech/engineer - one of the least-used but most interesting A/B dualities). Which is something else that I think runs through the various Avons, and again is frequently neglected. He actually is pretty much superhumanly competent - he works out the computer systems of a totally alien culture, which is apparently using a mixture of organic and mechanical technologies, on his own, under pressure and apparently with a reasonable degre of success - at understanding systems, and I suspect this means that the *way* he thinks is very different also. It's something I am trying (and failing) to express, but I don't think his understanding of computers and his understanding of people are actually using different parts of his brain a lot of the time. So I think I would go for "abstracted, not quite human Avon", who is most frequently represented in S1 but reappears in flashes throughout, and gets the only decent line in "Harvest of Kairos".

Which is what is causing me terrible problems at present - Avon being the product of an alien culture (to me the writer and to the reader), but also within that alien culture being himself functionally alien.

Plus, he obviously needs a great big lovely huggle.
 
 
Cat Chant
08:20 / 08.10.02
Ahh, Closet Case Blake - my old nemesis . Thanks - interesting, particularly since I was just starting to think that one reason no-one likes Blake is that it's blindingly obvious that he needs Avon desperately, whereas Avon does not need him & in fact is destroyed by him. So thanks for complicating that nicely.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
10:17 / 09.10.02
I aim to please.....

You never talk about what you do for a living, except in the most oblique fashion. Why is that? I can't be the only fictionsuit who is curious about that. In another setting, like a cocktail party or something, occupation would probably out rather quickly, but I've no idea what you do.*

Because it isn't very interesting or relevant, or indeed necessarily very long-lasting. I do intermittently creative things for an intermittently creative company. I bully Orr. I appear to have bullied Orr into oblivion, tho' - he has not come in today.

Also, how much money do you earn,

Enough to live on. My needs are fairly few, apart from the books, CDs, a new computer every now and then...at present I work a three-day week and still seem to be earning money slightly faster than I spend it, so it all seems to be working out OK for the moment.


Do you have any chronic ailments?

Not to my knowledge, although I used to be allergic to direct sunlight. That was fun.

And what size is your cock (both length & diameter, please)?

I didn't realise they came in set sizes...besides, if I tell you, toddster, it will ruin the surprise.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
16:21 / 10.10.02

Oh yes, how do you feel about being the progenitor of so much Barbe-slang (my particular favorite being "grown-up juice")?


I rather like "grown-up juice", especially since I did not nick it from anywhere else (whereas, f'r example, "Bwa-ha-ha" is, of course. from Giffen and DeMattheis' classic run on JLA, and "touch my tits with your claw" and its many variants are from "Kill Your Boyfriend".

But yes. It's not something I do consciously, but it is nice when some turn of phrase gets picked up. It's like lime shower gel or sheepdrone mulch for Nick or Mordant, I guess...for me it feels faintly gratifying, like somebody laughing at your jokes.

Any theories on Battle Action Force, Baron Ironblood etc?

Only yesterday I was locked in a passionate conversation about how the bad guys in M.A.S.K got really shit masks. Stiletto (not to be confused with the crow from Dangermouse) had, if I recall, a mask that fired knives. So, essentially, his mask reduplicated the function of....an arm. A fucking arm. For God's sake.

But Action Force I was only tangentially into - perhaps because they had a limited association with giant robots, which were pretty much where it was at for the Haus of Childhood. Giant robots kicked. Transformers good. Zoids also good. Go-Bots, in an emergency, were methadoney. Action Force....squishy organics, man. What's the point?

Although if I ever form a militia I will certainly ensure that it is made up of people so ludicrously overspecialised that at least two thirds of them will have to sit out every action. I imagine that the Action Force ready room was rather like the notice board when the cheerleading tryou results are pinned up. There's Storm Shadow, silently expressing "No ninjing? Bollocks. It's discrimination, this", while Deep Six doesn't even bother to get out of his chair.

This is why Flint commanded Action Force. His combination of sensible dark green outfits and conventional military training made him the one-size-fits-all of Action Force. Why exactly they didn't take this to heart and recruit a few more multi-skilled people who could both swim *and* hit people will probably remain
a mystery. Or classified. Or something.

The other problem with Action Force was that the adverts were so fucking patronising. I mean, really. What were the first lines of the Action Force song?

It's Action Force,
Against Cobra the enemy


We know Cobra are the enemy, you shitters. We've done this before. If they were called "Puppy", we might be a bit confused, but Cobra leaves precious little ambiguity, before we even get onto the fact that Cobra Commander was voiced by the same guy who did the voice of Starscream (EVIL) or that they couldn't shoot straight (EVIL), or that their plans for world conquest were always both overcomplex and very odd (EVIL).

I hate it when these things insult children's intelligence.
 
 
The Natural Way
13:18 / 11.10.02
Jumpstarters: they were shit, weren't they?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:23 / 11.10.02
Utterly.
 
 
Jack Fear
15:23 / 11.10.02
God, will it never end?
 
 
deja_vroom
18:41 / 11.10.02
Dinosaucers!
 
 
deja_vroom
18:41 / 11.10.02
Dinosaucers!
 
 
deja_vroom
18:41 / 11.10.02
Dinosaucers!
 
 
deja_vroom
18:42 / 11.10.02
Damn.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
21:27 / 11.10.02
Yes indeed. Damn them.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:05 / 14.10.02
Tell us about the hardest decision you ever had to make.

Can I j ust add that Someone else has posted in the "Open Source Jerry Cornelius" thing in "Books", and it's just so sweet. Like watching a baby duck take its first steps.

Anyway. Hmmm. The big problem with this question is that generally decisions aren't very hard for me. Which is not to say that I am decisive - quite the reverse - only that, faced with a difficult decision, I tend to flannel for as long as is humanly possible without even thinking about it, then make an impulse decision at the very last moment anyway.

So, for example, I ended up deciding which Universities to apply to based on nothing more solid than a vague hunch and a desire to irritate my father. Quitting my first proper job might have counted as a difficult decision, as the consequence was penury in a flat I couldn't afford, but was actually quite an easy decision because I hated it so much my lungs had filled with fluid. That's a sign, if a sign is needed. My natural *in*decisiveness means I avoid situations where I have to make decisions like the plague...

Oh, hang on, I think I have one. A few years back I was going through a pretty bleak time - all was basically ruin, and I found myself fetched up in London with no money, not many friends, nobody to call my own (Apart from Mr. Maione, who live down the stairs). I got into one of those Life's Lottery ruts where I started to feel that, if I could just recreate the varous relationships I had earlier in my life, I could also recover the happy. This got really quite dysfunctional, and a hard, but probably vital, decision, was when I finally, over time and with much backsliding, managed to convince myself to stop obsessively engineering contact with people in the hope that they would like me again.

That happened probably throughout 1999, and in many ways marked the beginning of the stage of my life I'm in at the moment. Which may not be much, but it's a hell of a lot better than some of the alternatives.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
22:50 / 15.10.02
Why do we still live here, in this repulsive town, when all our friends are in New York?

Weirdly enough, this is actually a question I have been giving a fair amount of thought to lately. From a professional viewpoint, New York is probably where I need to end up, and I do love the place. Apart from anything else, there is something rather refreshing about a place where your accent inspires less hatred and more affection. If I can just learn to polish my glasses while murmuring "do you suspect it to be.....paranormal in origin?" I'm sorted.

But whenever I think about leaving London, something either very good or very bad happens, and I am stuck here. So, the future.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:24 / 23.10.02
Why are we still screaming, when we mean soft things

Well, this one has a number of possible relevancies, I suppose...

The reason I seem a little shrill at the moment is probably because I'm tired. In fact, I'm exhausted. And my throat hurts, because I have been smoking too much. Too, too much. Plus, this moving office thing is a stress and a half, and I am going to have to upgrade to broadband, which seems terribly complex (and I resent paying that much for a goddamned *modem* - even if I an not technically speaking paying for it) and means I am tied to it for a year, and who knows whether I will haver a job in a year's time, and can you move broadband services around, because - hello! - I'm renting and blah and bleee and blooo and I can't find my chequebook and I WANT TEA AND HUGS GODDAMMIT!

On another level, things are very raw and over-exposed in my life at the moment. So I think sometimes soft things come out as screams, or sound like screaming.

And finally, of course, everything feels like screaming, apparently. One of the celebrated things about me IRL, apart from being really nice and pretty and pleasantly-scented, obviously, is my incredibly low resistance to volume. I'm getting better over time, but certainly earlier on in life Barbemeets had on occasion seen me murmuring piteously, "Please stop shouting. Please."
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
15:20 / 12.11.02
Oh, completely forgot, and was only reminded by Jack Denfield's "Notice Me! Interview Me! Love Me!" thread:

Is Vin Diesel in any way acceptable?

This remind me of a conversation I was having with another BBloid, who was telling me about a dream in which he met the Vinster, and asked him about the tragic ending of "XXX", which he (the Vinster) had written himself and championed in the face of the studio's opposition.

"Well," the Vinster said, "I wanted to make people realise that I was a serious artist."

At which point, even in the dream, my friend found himself thinking what a fatuous git =the Vinster was. Which seems understandable.

(Although I have not seen "XXX", and doubt very much that I ever shall, I think I am not offering too many hostages to fortune when I suppose that it does not in fact have a tragic ending, but rather one in which Vin defeats the bad guy and then has some sexing time left over)

Now, I'm not going to condemn anyone for being fatuous in somebody else's dream, or even in their own dream, but this is, unfortunately, about all I can tell you about Vin Diesel, except that I havbe always vaguely hoped that he got his soubriquet from his fondness for country and western and cunnilingus, as likely I fear as XXX's very tragic ending.

I have never seen a Vin Diesel film. It is unlikely that that will change in the near future ("Why do they call him the Carpenter?" "Because he's a carpenter." Well, quite). Honestly, I doubt that I could pull him out of a slap-headed line-up, or tell you what effect his supposedly Keifer-level basso profundo would have on my so-trembly knees. He exists for me only in the mouths and thoguhts of others. Most of whom, admittedly, think he's almost totally unnecessary, albeit genial. But if we start killing people just because they are genial but pointless, where would we be?

Answer in your own time.

Right, that's it, I think.
 
 
doozy floop
12:10 / 15.09.05
This fossil from Barbelith's past pleases me. Are you still taking questions, Haus, or has the statutory window of time now closed on your interview?
 
  

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