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No books matter

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00:30 / 07.09.02

BTW, Undocumented Feature, if you think there's a better case to be made, go ahead and make it. I have the slightly worrying feeling that I'm missing something...

Tryphena Absent

00:33 / 07.09.02

In light of your last post Auszilla, since you seem to have this fascination with the inferiority of the written word and please don't deny that, I suggest that when you have the time you should go and read about it. To shove you right in at the deep end I suggest you start with Aristotle, skip through time and delve in to Rousseau and Levi Strauss and then Derrida's 'Of Grammatology'. Once you've done that your argument will be a lot more convincing and we'll be able to have a nice discussion on the literary theory that lies, written word by word, behind what you are trying to say. I would assume that you'd already done this work and that your thread stemmed from such literature but you admitted earlier that you don't read much.

04:30 / 09.12.02

Would it be ironic and seem somewhat foolish to read books as an aid to developing an argument about the flawed nature of books?

I'm only raising this again because I was browsing Policy & Help and noticed a related topic had been briefly resuscitated there. (I wonder how many people consider the fact that Lazarus, though raised from the dead, seems to have subsequently re-died?) It occurred to me to report that, despite intentions I'll admit to the contrary, I still have not read a book. I've read a few pages of Emerson, browsed a book of quotations, used a dictionary, researched workplace procedures and found interesting Biblical verses, but I have not read a single, short book from cover to cover since I first wrote on this topic.

Is that really so unusual?

02:47 / 10.12.02

Doesn't anyone here understand? I'm trying to fit into intelligent society and mix with better people, so I try to read books, but I can't! I can't! I actually bought several books - not just one book, but several - and at great expense, I might add. Does anyone realize how many hamburgers I could have bought instead?

So I read the introduction to a book, the whole six pages, then I read almost two pages of the body of the book... and something else came up, then another thing, then another and so on. What do I have to show for it? A few more good-for-nothing books that lazily lie around my desk and my shelves. Why shouldn't these treasured bastards work for a living, like their cousins: compost, calendars, comics, correspondence, catalogues and kindling?

07:21 / 10.12.02

Why shouldn't these treasured bastards work for a living, like their cousins: compost, calendars, comics, correspondence, catalogues and kindling?

They do work for a living, but you've gotta' work with them (kinda' like you do some of the work in dealing with compost, calenders, comics, correspondence, catalogues, and kindling)! It is a reciprocal relation between yourself and the book, but perhaps it is your judgemental attitude towards books which keeps you from holding up your end of the relationship?

That's it: your problem with reading books is you're a book bigot!

02:29 / 11.12.02

It's not helpful to call people nasty names.

What would be helpful is if you decided what books you thought I should read, and then summarized each of them into about eight pages. Eight pages is about how much I can cope with at this point. As I develop my book reading prowess, perhaps I can stretch it to ten pages, then to twelve, then about twenty and so on.

Are you going to help me reform or will you just insult me?
Are you a charitable person or something else?

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

04:18 / 11.12.02

If you have trouble reading too much in one sitting, get a book like George Carlin's or Dennis Miller's...short little essays that rely on wit and wordplay. Then move to short stories like the early Ray Bradbury stuff or the Alfred Hitchcock collections that were so popular in the 70's.

If you can't concentrate long enough to read, that's a medical condition, and you prolly have trouble concentrating in all other aspects of your life and should get some help for it.

If you're taking the piss, the joke is silly and overlong, showing you can concentrate.

If you just think the written word is a waste of your time...good, work out a lot, we need people to show up on Elimidate and Blind Date too.

05:53 / 11.12.02

I wish people wouldn't automatically accuse someone of "taking the piss" or trolling or being a bigot just because their experiences are a little different. Obviously, I haven't concentrated solely on this thread since beginning it way back whenever.

I'm not likely to start with fiction because I prefer informative non-fiction. I bought Emerson on Transcendentalism because it's short and, I'm told, written with some flair. Aside from that, I bought some other classic essays of American philosophy because I've spent most of my life deliberately ignoring the American general mindset and culture, and now I'm stuck in the belly of the beast itself. While here, I thought it would be a good time to search out a little of the intestines. Do you realize how long and winding are the intestines of a beast?

*sings soulfully and mournfully*
The long and winding intestines of the beast
Tha-a-at lead to a better understanding of American society and the human condition...
Damn, it doesn't fit the meter at all, does it?

The rest of my recent story I have stated in my last few posts.

I think if I actually received some encouragement I might read a few more pages rather than using my limited time to compose responses to personal attacks.

The Natural Way

10:47 / 11.12.02

Janina was attacking you?

Oh well, here goes:

Go ON! Read a book! You can do it! You can make it if you try! We'll all be here for you if you stumble and fall.....

11:08 / 11.12.02

Auszilla, Hong Kong Solitaire Rose said:

If you can't concentrate long enough to read, that's a medical condition, and you prolly have trouble concentrating in all other aspects of your life and should get some help for it.

If you're taking the piss, the joke is silly and overlong, showing you can concentrate

Are you willing to reply to these points ? I think they’re very valid ones.

And I think it’s a bit dismissive to say that because you can’t read a book, ‘no books matter’, wouldn’t you say ?
Many people can’t do a variety of things (sing in tune, paint a picture, wrap their minds around quantum theory, perform open-heart surgery), but that doesn’t mean that these things don’t matter.
“I can’t” is not the same as “no one should ever”.

DBC

The Natural Way

11:52 / 11.12.02

But he CAN, DBC!!! He CAN!!! If he believes in himself - if he TRUSTS himself!

Tryphena Absent

12:41 / 11.12.02

I was definitely attacking and I ask you - what's so wrong with that? A little bit of board aggression never did any harm and in answer to the abstract I have no shame! Now excuse me I have to go and eat turkey dinosaurs and roast potatoes and not read.

14:36 / 11.12.02

The abstract is obviously a little dated. Is it in my power to compose a new one?

The Natural Way

07:50 / 12.12.02

Of course it is! Go for it!

13:55 / 12.12.02

How? I can't see how the abstract can be edited. I expect it requires moderator collusion.

The Natural Way

07:26 / 13.12.02

Don't dream it, lad! BE it!

18:33 / 14.12.02

You want me to be "it"? But Coke™ is "it". People drink Coke™. I don't want to be drunk - it makes me all dizzy, then I fall asleep, then I have rebound wakefulness.

05:09 / 22.06.03

If I'm going to get drunk, I'd prefer tequila. But right now I'm too tired for even that. Why do I stay up so late listening to angsty, moody music that tears at me, and trying to write something funny for people I've never met? None of you strange 'Net junkies care about me or find this funny, anyway. Here I am, slaving over a broken, sticky keyboard with my broken, sticky fingers and all you can say is "how did they get sticky?"

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