BARBELITH underground
 

Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.


File Under: Reasons To Hate Fanboys

 
  

Page: (1)23

 
 
Matthew Fluxington
20:18 / 12.08.02
This thread is meant to contain odd bits of info, news, personal anecdotes, etc all suggesting that fanboys should be wiped out in some kind of selective genocide. Bring it on.

Kicking it off, check out Hero Realm's latest poll - Should Grant Morrison Complete His X-Men Run?. Nevermind how fucking insane the idea of the poll is - check out how the majority are in favor of kicking him off. If yr a real masochist, read the comments. So, so sad. I wish I could help these people, I do.
 
 
Jack Fear
20:22 / 12.08.02
Careful, Flux. People will think you're some kind of fascist, and you'll hurt people's feeeeelings.

Got a link for that poll? (No, I don't know the URL for this so-called "Hero Realm" of which you speak. What d'you think I am, some kind of fanboy?)
 
 
Jack Fear
20:24 / 12.08.02
Alternate reply:

You read the Hero Realm website? Tch.
 
 
Jack Fear
20:25 / 12.08.02
Alternate alternate reply:

You read NewXMen? Tch.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
20:32 / 12.08.02
Whoop! I meant to link, but forgot to.

Of the comments, these two consecutive replies stand in pretty stark contrast -


Pacifism is not a socially valuble concept, and that's one of Morrison's biggest errors. 07/19/02 1:05:22 AM MST

I can't stand the overexcessive violence in the New X-Men! And I want the Spandex back already! The characters lose much of their appeal without it! 07/18/02 2:22:20 PM MST


The number of people writing about how "immoral" Grant's X-Men is is pretty interesting too - the Hero Realm readership is probably one of the most conservative (in the Christian Right sense of the word) audiences I've ever come across.

If someone can show me a worse fanboy website than Hero Realm, I will be amazed.
 
 
Margin Walker
05:39 / 13.08.02
"Bring back the Spandex"????

Nonplussed--there's no other word for it.
 
 
The Natural Way
07:48 / 13.08.02
If you want even more masochism fun check out Millar's site.
 
 
yawn - thing's buddy
10:35 / 13.08.02
runce: was that you banging on about shamanism, gnosticism etc.

funny to read that in amoungst all the anti-wank.
 
 
The Natural Way
11:09 / 13.08.02
Don't think so.

Where are you talking about?

I sometimes post at Millarworld, but only under Ray Nce.



Viva Pug!
 
 
penitentvandal
12:04 / 13.08.02
'Pacifism is not a socially valuable concept?' Woo-hoo! Watched Starship Troopers again, last night, did ya, burger-boy? And you STILL don't get the irony. Tsk, tsk...Come visit me and see if you still think pacifism's not socially valuable afterwards. I dares ya...

Fanboy anecdote: in FP the other Saturday, surrouned by all the kids who come there to buy WWF toys, or Buttfuck Rapeman figures, or whatever sick filth these young people are into, and I walk past an overweight, ginger-haired elevn-year-old in a Linkin Park hoody complaining about how there are 'too many nerds' in the shop. BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA.

These people would vote for Bush if they could hold a pen. Re-educate them now, Phoenix-style. That's what I say. Death's too good for 'em...
 
 
The Natural Way
18:40 / 13.08.02
Because of the weird feeling that pervades comics - y'know, that somehow they're ALL the SAME thing - we're presented w/ a medium where a 12 yr old Runce happily devoured both Spidey and Maus. Wicked works of art fall into the grubby paws of nastyteens all the time and are stacked up on the bookshelf next door to Extreme X Men and Boobwar Swim-fest 2002. This isn't always a bad thing, but it pays to ignore the aforementioned nastyteens funny, pubic opinions of a decent writer's work. That way leads to bad frustration and stupidhours on annoying message boards defending yr favrit funnybooks from hordes of kids who have yet to slough their parent's funny opinions and their permanent erections.

It's great that these kids feel that they have a stake in this stuff and that they get to read it, but arguing w/ the 12 year old Runce was always futile....

They'll get over it.

Adults expressing the same opinions (www.millarworld.biz)? Well, you have to ask yrself: "Can they really be saved?"

Either way: pointless and depressing.


The sort of addendum one has to add at barbelith:

Oh, and maybe they ARE really smart and we just don't get it.
 
 
arcboi
20:51 / 13.08.02
I'd like to see tubby spud-like fanboys who carry those shoulder-strap portfolio cases banned from comic shops. Please! Just take the effing things off when you walk around the shop instead of wacking our heads with them!!!!

Conversely, why has it always been FP's policy to employ moody baskets?
 
 
Seth
22:48 / 13.08.02
The gnosticism/shamanism post was mine.
 
 
Utopia
01:22 / 14.08.02
i believe the worst cases of fanboy-ism can be found in the letters pages of Milligan's/Allred's X-Force. a smorgasborg of people regularly write in "i hate this comic...but i wouldn't hate it as much if it wasn't called x-Force [because then my adolescent power-fantasies could continue and i could go back to pretending that things like superhero comics and Babylon-5 really fucking matter]" (material in brackets provided by yours truly). well, looks like they won,anyway...
 
 
Trijhaos
01:31 / 14.08.02
Some of those comments are really creepy, especially the ones talking about the "smooth, beautiful bodies" of Jean and Storm. These people want a return to the way the X-men were before. That's just silly. Frankly, I can't remember all that much about most of the previous runs because they were downright boring.
 
 
rizla mission
08:48 / 14.08.02
I love the letter in the first X-Statix from a guy complaining that the glory of marvel comics is being contaminated by "political correctness and hip-hop". He should be Flyboy's new penpal.
 
 
The Natural Way
08:59 / 14.08.02
I'm fast learning to hate those letters. They were funny to start w/, but, if we must have letters from pricks, I want the most absurd/outrageous pricks imaginable (a la that guy who wrote in to Stray Bullets waffling about his Dad "battling the Zoot-Suiters"). I don't want some whinging cock moaning because he can't wank off over Darkstar's tits anymore...it's just embarrasing. Give me MORE, take it to the limit, or just stop printing this drivel.
 
 
sleazenation
09:09 / 14.08.02
sorry runce, but i disagree - ridiculously mad letters might be fun to read in the creative writing sense, but obviously are detached from the depressingly mundane world of fanyboys.

I am still quite interested in seeing how long these people who keep telling us how much they hate the comic will continue to buy it? some of them stated they hated it being called x-force, so will they still be buying (and moaning about) x-statix? There is a whole other metanarrative going on.
 
 
The Natural Way
09:55 / 14.08.02
Actually, thinking about it, yr right and I was talking cock. I AM interested to see how long these arseholes keep reading and, as you point out, they ARE an integral part of the X-Force narrative. Recuperation's the name of the game - the fanboys are so important to the book.
 
 
yawn - thing's buddy
10:08 / 14.08.02
a big demiurgic high five to ya, expressionless!
 
 
uncle retrospective
13:39 / 14.08.02
expressionless, you know it's not fair using words these people don't understand, you'll only scare them.

Oh my fav fan boy story is of a friend of a friend who has trained his dog to attack Vorlons. He has made a mock up which the dog will go for every time.
The guy did it so when the Vorlons come to earth in disguise to mess with our DNA the dog will get em.
In it's own way very sad and yet fantastic.
 
 
houdini
18:26 / 14.08.02
The Milligan / Alonso approach to the X-Force / X-Statix letterspage seems to me to be lifted pretty directly from Joe Matt's Peepshow. Print the most hateful letters you possibly can and leave the smirking implicate.

Where I think they fall down is in actually responding to these whiners. I've seen a couple shrill replies out there and, as those of us still reading Aardvark Comment know, nothing cuts your credibility as bad as sounding petulant and defensive.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
19:18 / 14.08.02
God, you know what bothers me about fanboys is the way that their messed-up values get aired all the time "even" here on Barbelith. Like the idea that the people behind X-Statix need to "actually respond" to that shit...
 
 
yawn - thing's buddy
09:30 / 15.08.02
surely fanboys have some redeeming features?
 
 
Spaniel
20:47 / 15.08.02
Sleaze, while you have a point, fanboy craziness is about their only redeeming feature. Thankfully they don't have to be totally out there to be entertaining. The guy who wrote into X-Force complaining of an "ever increasing world of shadows" was fucking hilarious, if a little scary. Also loved the hip-hop/pc letter.

Agree with brother Runce. Stray Bullets' letter pages rule.

Anyone else read about the zoot-suiters?
 
 
Spaniel
21:51 / 15.08.02
Yes indeed.

Murder Me Dead #5

Call me the scourge of the lettercols, but I'm here to once again write a letter about one of my favourite comics. I absolutely enjoyed Murder Me Dead #4. It was more exciting than Arnold Swarzenegger in The Sixth Day and I watched that after I read this gem of a story. Most of the characters reek of evil. Take Tony, for example. This man is filled with hatred. Terrible thoughts fill this man's mind, and he isn't afraid to express them. Then, when I thought Sam Fred might be a good guy and rescues the damsel in distress (Ms. Torres), he turns out to be a real louse and uses the payment of sex to get what he wants. Sam is as bad as the rest of them.

I was quite on edge when Steve and Tara went through their interactions and their mild argument leads them to an intimate makeup. When things seemed like it might calm down a bit...then...boy, was I dead wrong! Tara and Tony tussle for the knife and get physical. Steven then comes to the rescue, and before I knew it, Steven and Tony were engaged in the most violent showdown I have seen in a long time.

My uncle Jose grew up with the zoot-suiters and witnessed violence amongst the Navy and the zoot-suiters way back when. In fact, he was a zoot-suiter. This is why he later went into Bruce Lee's Kung Fu schools and later became an instructor. He learned the ways of violence, but learned to channel this violence into a way of harmony and peace. Peace finally reached Bruce Lee as my uncle remembers his solemn funeral. Showing my uncle some of the Violence in this comic brought memories of those violent zoot-suiter days. He still enjoyed this issue, but he's pretty old, so I don't think he'll become a regular reader.

When we come to the end of this story, I was quite shocked to see Tara stab Tony to death and then see Steven fulfill this pact in blood by plunging the knife back into the dead Tony. Tara and Tony married in Vegas and end their legacy of marriage with Tony's bloody death. Majorly superb story, and I am definitely looking forward to more of the same! Hey, I'll stop by to watch The Lone Gunmen with you next friday night on your TV!


V insane.
 
 
Utopia
01:04 / 16.08.02
...

the next time i am engaged in a completely shallow and pointless conversation, rather than responding with emotion or reason, i shall simply quote paragraph 3 and leave anyone within earshot in a state of utter confusion and emptiness.

much like i am in now.
 
 
penitentvandal
11:33 / 20.08.02
You know...It's probably totally inadvertent...But that third paragraph reminds me of 'Michael Bolton's War'...

The 'smooth, shiny bodies' of Jean and Storm? Jee-zis...That's just scary. (And in my view, inaccurate. Jean looks much sexier now that she looks like a real person and has taken to wearing sensible jumpers instead of that ridiculous orange bondage suit she used to run around in. But maybe that's just MY twisted sexuality...)

The vorlon-attacking dog does sound quite cool in a nerdy, uber-geek sort of way, though. If nothing else, it would allow for some light relief as, during the apocalyptic goings-on, an equally geeky vorlon takes the time to have a photo taken of himself re-enacting the Mars Attacks! 'Destroying a dog' card...

And apologies for the atrocious spelling in the above 'fat ginger fanboy' post. I leave it intact and unedited, as a warning to others not to let their anti-fanboy fury cause them to descend into a language-shattering maelstrom of rage. For I, too, believe that violence must be channeled into the ways of harmony and peace...
 
 
uncle retrospective
11:52 / 20.08.02
So I've been lurking at Millar world.
Mummy I'm scared, I don't know if I've become a member of the Nazi snob patrol but check out their Top 5 lists EEK!
 
 
yawn - thing's buddy
13:07 / 20.08.02
yeah - have you read the comments by ray nce - I mean, with that attitude n all - who the hell does he think he is?
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
13:15 / 20.08.02
[snobhat on]Wow. That's some great music listed there...[/snobhat off]
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:27 / 20.08.02
Bret Easton Ellis - American Psycho
JRR Tolkien - The Hobbit
Bart Simpsons Guide to life
Can't think of more, don't really read that many books


Touch.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
13:38 / 20.08.02
Listen to Mordant.

No.

Really
 
 
Suffocate
05:35 / 21.08.02
I was sitting here reading all the complaints about dodgy fanboy comments and how annoying and depressing they are. And I realised how annoying and depressing it is reading complaints about dodgy fanboy comments.

*wanders off to beat the crap out of a Marvel reader*
 
 
bio k9
06:18 / 21.08.02
Can we never motherfucking ever have another link to that pit of hell?

Thank you.
 
  

Page: (1)23

 
  
Add Your Reply