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The only sense I can make out of someone establishing a named identity for themselves is that a word-cage can keep you restrained but it can, like a shark-cage, protect, too. In a purely political sense, rallying under THIS ONE THING I AM can appear strengthening and beneficial, which I don't believe it is, but enough people do to make it a common practice.
The problem, to me, is when people label themselves,they get all panicky and identi-crisised when they feel an urge to step outside the boundaries of that word. Guys I knew before they'd announced themselves gay, still collecting copies of 'Maxim' and obviously interested in women sexually, adopting an 'eeewww, no, I could never, well, not anymore' stance, because now they are GAY. Now, my inclination is to call bullshit, sure, but it's not my call. They put the name on themselves, and it's like saying somebody can't say they're a christian and then do whatever the hell they like and justify it, or a hippy, republican, godzilla.
Getting labeled... well, everyone gets labeled, and it restricts you socially (and thus, economically, et cet.) but that's out of your hands, and I tend to just ignore the label and keep going. Be they socially acceptable (homosexual, African American, et al) or the more - a lot of peopl might say/think but not in front of just anybody (fag, bitch, republican) - and terms from one person to another do greatly shift meaning because of who is saying and who is being labeled - they are all socially constraining.
If it weren't for the fact that, in my experience, as soon as you swear off something - usually by taking a label that means 'I do not do X' - that thing, within a short period becomes horribly attractive, and the resultant identity crises I've seen too many go through warring with what they are, what they want, and what they are and want is called, maybe I wouldn't be so down on the label concept.
Other times, as especially in terms of sex(uality) or tactile issues, labels just don't make a whole lotta sense: the plethora of trannies used at random often (transsexual, transgender, trans music ^_^) and iterations, or the give-vs-receive not all-the-way-gay. I've, over the years, been told by at least five different people who had no contact with each other, male and female, that I 'kiss like a girl' which, when you get down to it, manages to label me in way that is semantically confused if not outright empty. It doesn't even have the social history to draw on for a meaning, like 'you throw like a girl.' In the same way, it's been argued that Euro-cultures haven't had homosexuality in the current sense for more than, what, a hundred years and some change?
Where I grew up a lot of my childhood, being called 'white' was about the most insulting thing you could have thrown at you - and being light-skinned and under certain circumstances, loudmouthed, I got it a lot - but in the greater context of the world, it doesn't matter much. I self-identify when forced to check a box on stupid forms, as 'mixed' and that's a cheat to avoid limiting myself to A, B, or Y - so, I'm thinking maybe that's the best answer to a lot of these identity questions, sexual or what have you.
"Are you gay, bi, straight, or someone's seat cushion and tea-fetcher?"
"Let me check my calendar... Oh, yes: a little from section A, a little from section B." Sexual preference defined by quoting Homer Simpson.
If I wasn't so braindead tired, this'd be half as long, but I'm posting it rather than deleting, just to see if I can escape it later. |
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