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Work function pisshead

 
  

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mate
21:16 / 23.05.02
Depends if you do it in the morning though don't it?

*SNORTTTTTTTTTT

Ahhhh......
 
 
Ganesh
21:51 / 23.05.02
"Leave it, Ariadne, she's not worth it!"

*grabs Ariadne's arm, breaks heel, stumbles, drops chips*
 
 
Cherry Bomb
00:12 / 24.05.02
Hmmm.

Drinking stories, in Cherry's world thy name is Legion. But the most embarrassing one probably occurred last summer.

I'd been working a gift show at Chicago's Merchandise Mart for 7 days straight with my best friend, a notorious party animal and evildoer. We each got paid $700 the day the show ended and so went downtown to cash our checks, buy some new duds and go to the top of the Hancock Building for expensive cocktails.

WE must have had several Long Island Ice Teas and I must've had a few cocktails on top of that. I was really hungry and I kept telling my friend we had to leave to go eat something. He kept telling me we would we would, but how bout one more drink?

We left and I was pretty tipsy, but instead of getting some food we went to Boystown. One bar blurred into the next, and we were at some particularly seedy joint as I recall myself trying to set up my pal with another nice young gentleman, and his horror at my "bad taste." But the gentleman bought us both beers, and a few shots, and then another beer.

I left drunkenly shouting that I was crabby that there were only gay men in the place, "And donshuu know i'ma gay man in a woman's body?!?? i wanna feckn chshansh..." Hailed a cab for home, which I immediately passed out in.

I had like a dream that I was puking or something, only to come to and realize that I actually WAS puking out side of the cab, across from my apartment with the cab driver yelling at me because I hadn't paid him. I shoved a twenty (who knows actually?) in his hand and stumbled across the street. One of my friends saw me and shouted after me but I just wanted to lie down so I kept walking.

Anyway next morning I wake up covered in sweat on my mattress. No recollection of how I got there. Turns out my friend who had called my name followed me because she'd never seen me that drunk before. If it weren't for her, I would've just drunkenly passed out in the unlocked stairwell of a dodgy apartment on an even dodgier corner, because she foudn me just sitting there.

And that friends is my most embarrassing drinking story. It ain't pretty.

"And I learned my lesson...."

(sort of)
 
 
mate
02:37 / 24.05.02
Sorry, Cherry, but...






























...that's crap!
 
 
Mystery Gypt
03:58 / 24.05.02
i know those two indian restaurants quite well... Panna 2 (yes, it's like a sequel) and Whatever the Other One is. you'll always find a huge line of people all patently waiting to get in panna, while the other one 6 inches away is completely empty and the guy outside is practically trying to drag people in. being inside panna 2 is like riding on some kind of crazy magic bus, you can't see yr pals for all the tinsel and lighting dripping from the ceiling.

but as everyone knows, all those places share a central kitchen in the inside of the block...
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
08:51 / 24.05.02
Well, on the bright side, we now know exactly how much shit Ariadne was going to get yesterday. The amount above.

By no means my best drinking story, most of which involve other people's naughty parts and as such are really not for public consumption.

However, Christmas party some years ago - and before you say owt, Bitchiekittie, yes I *did* have a reasonably severe drinking problem at the time, thankfully kept out of the bounds of lethality by a combination of poverty and decorum, which I quite freely own up to and cetainly wouldn't recommend. Very cool Canadian friends had hired a room and a majordomo, and there was carolling and party games and readings from "A Christmas Carol" and a quite. Startling. Amount. Of. Booze. Most of which ended up down my neck.

It's all a bit fragmentary, I must confess. I remember snogging one of the Canadian's ex-girlfriends. I remember attempting to pick up a load of broken glass. My next memory is waking up at 2pm the next day, four hours late for my meeting with the college president, still in evening dress, with a splitting headache and *covered* in red wine and red wine vomit. Cracking the door a little, I see that the hall is at least pristine, and quickly strip, throw on a dressing gown and tiptoed to the bathroom. On the way I encountered a flatmate, who destroyed my one shred of "at least I didn't disgrace myself" pride by saying with a mirthless smile "ah, hello Tann. We've been up all night. Cleaning up your puke."

Nice. Flustering apologies as best I could, I splashed water on my droopy-resemblin' face, dressed and ran to college (this is what I mean ablout not being too affected by hangovers), where I rescheduled my presidential meeting, went in, shakey hands, ran hand through hair and...it stuck. Not good.

As a humorous postscript, I was thrown out of that flat a fortnight or so later, as a result of my behaviour that evening, which the flatmates refused to discuss. Some years later, chatting to a mutual acquaintance, I got a partial account of what went down, which involved being carried home (a mile and a half..the joy of weightlifter friends), stagggering in, walking into the wrong bedroom, disturbing flatmate and boyfriend, demanding to know what they were doing in my room and then devoting the rest of the night to a projectile vomit-laced peroration on way a) life in general and b) my life in particular was a black charnel.

So, you know, that was pretty poor.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
09:01 / 24.05.02
These, days, however, I prefer the cool, clean taste of grown-up juice. Why not try some today?
 
 
Cherry Bomb
10:15 / 24.05.02
Mate, I didn't say it was the best, I said it was my most EMBARRASSING story. There's a difference.
 
 
mate
11:58 / 24.05.02
You should spend a weekend in Wales. I hear that the last of the big-drinkers live there.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
12:05 / 24.05.02
Is anyone else getting the urge to sing this topic o the tune of "Beauty School Dropout?"

Work function pisshead...ooo...ooo

You don't know what to do,

Work function pisshead...aaa...aaa,

Except drink until you spew.
 
 
Ariadne
12:19 / 24.05.02
Ah. Haus has been to the pub for lunch?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
12:23 / 24.05.02
Haus spits on lunch.

Not literally, obviously. But he doesn't tend to leave his desk. Just a sandwich and a grown-up juice smoothie for me, thanks...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
12:25 / 24.05.02
I'm not even gonna start on embarrassing/pathetic drunken tales... suffice it to say, I think I know WHY alcohol takes it upon itself to erase memory...
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
12:33 / 24.05.02
Is anyone else getting the urge to sing this topic o the tune of "Beauty School Dropout?"

Yes. Actually I thought that was the idea.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
13:03 / 24.05.02
Really? I was working on a new arrangement of the classic Smurfs track "Tell Me Do Smurfs Cry?"

Damn.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
15:19 / 24.05.02
“Get pissed! Have a laugh! You got a way with words, badside!”

- Tank Girl
 
 
Not Here Still
17:13 / 24.05.02
You should spend a weekend in Wales. I hear that the last of the big-drinkers live there.

North Wales, of course. Too much drink affects South Walian's Brains (apologies for the very bad joke.)

Probaly my worst time was the night in Leicester I discovered Absinthe. Not a works do, but...

Started out with about four or five pints, before someone decided that we should go to a bar selling Absinthe. Bad idea.

Had one. Thought 'oooh, that's not so bad.'

Had five more. That I can remember, anyway.

During the night - although I don't remember this - a load of braying law students came up to our table. One of them decided to start talking to me, and introduced himself: "Hello, my name's Tarquin. I'm doing media law, it's really cool.'

Apparently he sat there for a bit gibbering to me, before I got up and said to somoene we were with: "Do you want my chair? I'm going to the bog. You can talk to this TWAT for a while. [turning round, making those silly hand movements] 'Oh, My names Tarquin. I'm doing media law.' Cue embarrassed mates.

Later, I tried to get out of a moving taxi because he was 'ripping us off.' God knows if he was - he'd only been driving for two minutes.

Got near home and was dropped off/kicked out of the cab. A mate (who hadn't been out with us) found me wandering on London road, saying: 'I need to get home. It's left by the HSBC opposite the takeaway' - which wouldn't have been so bad, if I hadn't been stood outside the takeaway at the time.

He said he'd take me back to mine safely, just before I nipped round the side of the takeaway for a piss. What he and I didn't know was the alleyway I had gone down opened into another alleyway, led on to another road, and another - I was gone for three hours, apparently.

I got back home to find my mate had gone to get another mate and broken in to see if I was OK. I was, and I didn't have a hangover the next morning. I was still too pissed - it came on during the afternoon.

But yes, drinking is not a good idea and I don't do it to that scale anymore. However, I think it's a good idea to share bad experiences like this - to remind us of the horror, as well as to have a good laugh at other's stupidity.
 
 
mate
17:27 / 24.05.02
Now that's more like it.
 
 
Not Here Still
17:37 / 24.05.02
Dunno. Thought I was fucking stupid myself.
 
  

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