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The Barbelith Club For Jolly Spiffing Chaps: No cads, bounders or oiks.

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QUINT

13:38 / 10.05.02

Well, you're a fine bunch. Not one of you got a scar anywhere on your body. No callouses, no wind-burn. You'll make short eatin' for him, sure enough, when the water comes through those doors and he's riding the wave, that big old mouth wide open for some tasty aristocrat. Shark don't care who your mother was, he just swallow you down...

Whisky. Straight. Make it a good'un.

Elijah, Freelance Rabbi

13:38 / 10.05.02

My word what an amazing collection of the country and colonies finest we have in my humble establishment this evening.
Oh, you had'nt heard?
Charles Breckenridge-pierce the third passed on nd his beastly whore-bait of a sone was itching for more of his sweet opium derivitives and sold the place to yours truly.

Ah, now boy bring me my pipe and smoking jacket, I've been wearing this coat for 2 hours and it is perfectly rank, and not fit for a man of my rank..er..stature.

Eloi Tsabaoth

15:15 / 10.05.02

Dude!

Less searchable M0rd4nt

15:36 / 10.05.02

Morlock? Throw this whippersnapper out.

Morlock - groupie for hire

15:59 / 10.05.02

Certainly Milady, I shall ask some of the stablehands to resolve the matter.

Unless sir would care to leave quietly?

QUINT

17:08 / 10.05.02

Always room for one more in the Shark.

Bogus.

I say, someone is stealing the horses.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

21:40 / 10.05.02

What? Stop the bounder at once! I'll have him flogged on the steps of the club!

The Puck

13:23 / 11.05.02

the only on-line japery to read in this sort of establishment is available on the interweb called TheWeekly but ill be dammed if i can sort out a link, its tomfoolery nearly made me drop my pipe once its was so risable.

Sax

21:16 / 11.05.02

Elbow-deep in greasy washing-up suds, I slowly plot my revenge. All this money is, by rights, mine.

Morlock - groupie for hire

12:08 / 13.05.02

Mr Sax, I would appreciate it of you could do your conniving in silence. It upsets the other servants.

Persephone

16:49 / 13.05.02

sotto voce

Bagsie I that Clive Owensy young man glowering in the scullery...

Less searchable M0rd4nt

19:29 / 13.05.02

I say, Perci- go easy. Can't have too much fraternization with the lower orders, what?

Sax

08:50 / 14.05.02

*breaks off from washing up*

I know I should detest these titled ladies and all they stand for, yet I feel strangely drawn to them, and though I hate myself for my subservience I am suddenly come over with the urge to satisfy their every need and basest hunger...

*continues with washing up*

We're The Great Old Ones Now

08:54 / 14.05.02

You all know, the Bishop of Norwich, right?

Thought so.

grant

19:59 / 22.01.03

Wasn't he involved in that sordid business with the Lady Moncrieffe?

Less searchable M0rd4nt

20:16 / 22.01.03

And the cocker-spaniel. I hear her family got her a missionary posting out in the tropics. Beastly business.

Kit-Cat Club

20:18 / 22.01.03

Strictly sub rosa, old bean. I say - what a splendidly top-hole set-up we have here.

Anyone for a bally game of bally croquet, what? Chaps?

(crib to reel thorts: but... this is the way I talk all the time...)

Cosmicjamas

20:20 / 22.01.03

Top hole! Pass the bally flamingoes, what?

Mourne Kransky

21:20 / 22.01.03

*grunts with pleasure as Young Sax holds the flamingo still and works some prestidigitatory wonders on the honourable old membrum not so virile*

I say, Cozzers, fine bit of flamingo this. You been farming them long in your colonial holdings? Not one of the Mombasa Cosmicjamas are you? Think I once shared old Pa Jamas' berth from Port Said to Suez. Played a mean game of Strip Racing Demon.

Cosmicjamas

21:46 / 22.01.03

Eeew noooh, not the Kenyah branch of the fehmily my dear. We do not speak of those reprobate corfee drinkahs. Mehy branch cultivehted tea north of Bom-beh.

fluid_state

01:57 / 23.01.03

Cracking good thread, this.

04:51 / 23.01.03

I say! Simply smashing to see you all here! Top-notch do, this! And so many fetching, young dowagers for a con... err, that is, a charming young aristocrat such as myself to pitch woo with. (Rubs hands together fiendishly).

Tezcatlipoca

06:49 / 23.01.03

I say chaps, let's round up some of the lower orders for a few games of soggy biscuit.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

07:57 / 23.01.03

Sorry to arrive so late, chaps, but I've been having the most beastly time "consoling" Lady Chormonderley after that terrible business with Eddie. Eaten by weasels, doncha know, or so they say. Whole thing seemed damnably odd to me, I must say.

Still... life goes on, eh?

Sax, dear boy... could you bring me one of those exquisite macaroons?

Sax

08:01 / 23.01.03

Of course. Ignore their sogginess, sir. Merely a little dampness from the washing up water residue on my hands...

*Sax places plate of soggy biscuits in front of fops and heads back into the scullery, sniggering*

Tezcatlipoca

08:18 / 23.01.03

Curses. That damnable butler Sax has gorn and lost the soggy biscuits. Just when I had some oiks rounded up as well. I say, Stoatie old boy, do you think I might filch one of those Macaroons? I'm feeling a little peckish...

09:30 / 23.01.03

I say, young lady, that's rather a fetching blouse you've got on.

Hattie's Kitchen

12:26 / 23.01.03

Pardon my latecoming chaps, room for one more? A large Cognac please...no, put some more in...ghastly scoundrels outside, what? Round them up and throw them in Lady Chlamydia Poncenby-Smythe's trout lake, that's what I say.

What?

What do you mean, no women allowed in here?

Mourne Kransky

12:35 / 23.01.03

Women, you say? God, takes the mind back a bit, wot? Haven't seen one of them for fifty years. Chaps with bumps in front, aren't they? I think my dear old mater was one once. Decent sort of chaps, all in all but, no, we don't have any of 'em in here.

I may be wrong, of course. The drink'll do that. That and having lost my monocle down the back of this damnably comfy horsehair fauteuil.

8===>Q: alyn

12:41 / 23.01.03

Yee-ah! Yee-ah! Giddup, doaggies, giddup. I'm fixin' tuh make El Paso by next Tuesday, and ...

Well, kiss muh sister's black cat's ass, I never thought I'd see the day. What in the confoun' cat-hair is y'all dandy folk doin' out in this yar Mississippi wigwam? Don'chu know that thar Red-water'll make yuh blind? Giddup, yuh city-slickers, giddup!

Hattie's Kitchen

13:07 / 23.01.03

Ugh, it's one of those damned colonials - Captain Zoom, throw me your musket and I'll riddle his breeches with pellet.

Linus Dunce

13:14 / 23.01.03

I say! Are you a Yale man? I had one in my hice at King's. Dreadful fellow -- used to wear a black belt on his plus-fours.

Tezcatlipoca

13:19 / 23.01.03

Quite right and proper. Besides, these damn native fellow enjoy being hunted, what? Why I recall the time one of those colonial chappies strayed too near to the estates. He had an invigorating chase through the woodland that day, I can tell you. I say Xoc old fruit, pass the brandy would you, there's a fellow.

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