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What have Pirates got to do with it?

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We're The Great Old Ones Now

09:33 / 29.04.02

I'm somewhat intrigued that Barbelith seems by and large pro-pirate, rather than pro-ninja. Without getting too serious, I'd be interested to know what qualities people attribute to either side?

(I say the 'too serious' thing because both entities, historically speaking, have qualities and identities which might appeal to Barbelith folk.)

09:40 / 29.04.02

I haven't got involved in any of the debates yet, but, for me:

Ninjas = Puritans. Visually very boring. Strict codes of every sort, strong work ethic. Hard work to become and be a ninja. Work for others.

Pirates = Hedonists. Visually exciting. No codes or responsibilities except to fellow crew members (and vague, 'honour amongst thieves' business which can be broken at the drop of a pantaloon). Easy to be pirate. Work for self.

09:46 / 29.04.02

Ninjas = mysterious

Pirates = drunk

10:25 / 29.04.02

Pirates = snappy dressers, parrots, rich, cool ships, hooks, Errol Flynn.

Ninjas = footie pajamas, poor, silly code of honor.

10:49 / 29.04.02

ninjas = .

pirates = Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrr!!!

We're The Great Old Ones Now

11:03 / 29.04.02

Intrestin'.

Ya see, to me,

Ninjas: skill, perfection, thought
Pirates: passion, bravado, fortune

I love 'em both.

11:11 / 29.04.02

stolen from rosa's blog...

Top 15 Pirate Pickup Lines

15. i must be treasure hunting, cause i'm digging your chest
14. you're just the tasty wench i've been keeping my eye out for
13. hey sexy, how about a jolly rogering?
12. ya certainly put the shiver in my timber
11. see this hook? variable speed with five alternate attachments, baby.
10. wow! i bet i could fit SIXteen men on that chest
9. me skull and crossbones aren't the only thing i plan on raisin' tonight
8. do ya mind if the parrot watches?
7. nice poop deck on ya, lassie. care for a swabbin'?
6. avast, me pretty! strike yer panties and prepare to be boarded
5. so you're the new cabin boy, eh?
4. do you have the latest copy of windows XP with cracked product activation? (for software pirates)
3. yo, ho! bottle of rum?
2. arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you free saturday?
1. is there an "X" on the seat of your pants? because it appears there's a wondrous booty buried underneath it!

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:36 / 29.04.02

My idea of both of them is horribly tainted by romance and cliche-

I personally see pirates in the light of "Treasure Island", and the like, as well as Wm. Burroughs' (probably historically inaccurate) portrayal of Captain Mission's commune... which seemed pretty cool, egalitarian, etc. (Sorry I can't be more specific, but try as I might, I can't locate my copy of "Cities Of The Red Night" to quote from. If I manage to, I will.)

Ninjas are hired killers, basically. Very good hired killers, very impressive, and somewhat cool- but hired killers nonetheless. I guess my sense of swashbucking is stronger than my love of precision. Or honour. (Oooh... now there's an admission.)

I think the life of a pirate seems more appealing than all that discipline. (And the parrots, of course. Cos you can teach them to swear.)

The Return Of Rothkoid

11:36 / 29.04.02

I can't imagine ninjas answering questions like this, frankly.

11:49 / 29.04.02

Interestingly enough, on my Livejournal the Fight Poll has Ninjas unanimously whupping Pirate's ass.

Matthew Fluxington

12:03 / 29.04.02

I've been asking people around in real life for days, we all think you people are INSANE for siding with pirates. It's really no-contest, there's virtually no way ninjas could ever lose to pirates.

The only thing pirates have going for them is that if they got you, they'd be cruel, whereas the ninjas would me merciful. That's about it.

I haven't seen anyone from outside the UK side with pirates on this - I think you're all fucked and euro-centric, I do!

You all can romanticize pirates as much as you want, but can you at least have the dignity to admit that the ninjas would kill them all without them ever knowing what hit them?

12:32 / 29.04.02

The pro-pirate lobby are engaged in a completely different debate to the pro-ninja lot. Pirate fans are conducting an argument about which is the more attractive of the two, whereas ninja fans are only interested in which is the most efficient killer. Your average ninja fan would switch their alliegance to botulism if it were brought into the debate.

Krister Kjellin

12:45 / 29.04.02

Great Flynn in a half-shell, I'm annoyed!

I'm from outside of the UK, and I sided with pirates! So there!

May still be fucked up and eurocentric though...

12:59 / 29.04.02

I'd rather be a ninja, because they're cool, efficient, admirably skilled. But I'd rather shag a pirate, as long as it was Kennit from Robin Hobb's 'Liveship' trilogy (preferably before he loses it completely), because he's damn sexy. So there we go.

The Return Of Rothkoid

13:13 / 29.04.02

Flux: I'm not from the UK, buddy. And pirates are kings.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

13:29 / 29.04.02

Saveloy - waaaaaaaaaaah! I'm not considering ninjas from the point of view of kill value! I admire the spidersilk chic, the wraparound shadiness of ninjas. I love them for their silent menace, their determination, and their sudden outbursts of honour and humour. I love their last-ditch victories and their hopeless stands. I love their egalitarian weapons ethos as opposed to the 'pointy things for nobles only' samurai snobbiness. And I love their 'all because the lady loves' here-and-gone-ness.

On the other hand, I love pirates for their flamboyant primary colours, their swash, buckle and brag. I love their ludicrous ambit and their lethal wit; their improvised mayhem and white-heat conviction; I love their escapes from the gallows and the yard-arm, their bullion fantasies, and their laugh-in-the-face-of-death sexual gymnastics. I love their light-hearted yet essential and bitterly-won meritocracy and their final upwards grasp for fame, fortune, and the defeat of a world that would do them down - I love them because they take no shit and will defend their mates to the last. And I love them because they hate that damned parrot.

13:35 / 29.04.02

Nick: fair enough, I should have said "most ninja fans", as that is the impression I get from most of the pro-ninja posts.

The Natural Way

13:41 / 29.04.02

I'm w/ the good old U. S. of A., firmly on the side of the ninjas.

Give me shuriken over a cutlass anyday.

The Natural Way

13:42 / 29.04.02

I associate ninjas w/ skilliantness.

Matthew Fluxington

13:45 / 29.04.02

Rothkoid, I didn't know you weren't from the UK, but you do live there, right?

Anyway, I've been wanting to bring in a third option, but fuck botulism - I'm thinking we should bring in Giant Robots. Ninjas can't stop the Giant Robots, and neither can the pirates. Giant Robots trump everyone, except for maybe the X-Men...

We're The Great Old Ones Now

13:46 / 29.04.02

One word:

Gojira.

The Return Of Rothkoid

13:52 / 29.04.02

Pirates can stop giant robots, given that they're usually found at sea. When last I looked, our metal buddies didn' t handle corrosion too well...

13:58 / 29.04.02

Now, see, I was thinking giant robots too, but I reckon that, despite winning several battles, they'd lose the war. Ninjas would find a way to sneak aboard and knacker up fuel and control lines. Pirates would hole up in secret coves and so on and fight a long guerrilla war, gradually wearing them down.

The Return Of Rothkoid

14:00 / 29.04.02

And giant robots can't really handle rotgut, either.

14:02 / 29.04.02

well the british empire's rule of the waves has a lot to thank pirates and privateers in the pay of the british for...

the pub argument against that is that the british empire ultimately failed leading to the far funnier pub idea that the force of American cultural imperialism is fueled by hordes of generic ninja...

14:11 / 29.04.02

What if it was a Giant NINJA Robot?

14:31 / 29.04.02

a Giant ninja robot pirate...

14:34 / 29.04.02

On the other hand, I love pirates for their flamboyant primary colours, their swash, buckle and brag

and besides, you'd never catch a ninja wearing leather trousers.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

14:39 / 29.04.02

No one catches ninjas anyway, but you are quite correct. They grease their leathers before going out.

14:40 / 29.04.02

ninjas = slinky
pirates = bawdy

ninjas = brown rice
pirates = brown ale

15:02 / 29.04.02

ninjas = .

pirates = Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrr!!!

I think that says it all.

It's a verbal thing.

Aaarr-har-ha-ha-haaarrr...

How can you pick a bunch who never say anything over a bunch who can legitimately and frequently describe everyone else on the planet as "ye scurvy dogs"?

And while I'm at it, Ninjas never have any fun - they spend all day .. praying and doing yoga and shit. And they've got no sense of humour.

15:12 / 29.04.02

you've obviously never seen 'ninja scroll'

Matthew Fluxington

16:01 / 29.04.02

Mmm. Maybe pirates can beat robots - perhaps this is a bit like rock/paper/scissors:

ninjas beat pirates
pirates beat giant robots
giant robots beat ninjas

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

16:21 / 29.04.02

Q: If a pirate were to recite one of the Olympian odes by the aforementioned poet, which one would it be?

A: The XIth Nemean Ode, "To ARRRistagoras, the Prytanis of Tenedos, son of ARRRchesilaus."

Q: If that same pirate were then to recite a 20th-century poem about the nature of poetry, what would it be?

A: "ARRRs Poetica" by ARRRchibald MacLeish.

Q: What if he went on to recite a poem by Sir Walter Scott?

A: "LochinvARRR."

Q: Why does that pirate keep reciting poetry, anyway? Is he some sort of Nancy-boy?

A: Aye, 'tis a Nancy-boy he be. Arrr.

Q: Of the ghosts that appear to Ebenezer Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol," which do pirates prefer?

A: Jacob MARRRley.

Q: Can we replace that last one with something about Bob Marley, so we can have an additional gag about RastafARRRianism?

A: No.

Q: Whom did the pirate vote for in the Haitian election?

A: ARRRistide.

Q: Wait. Why did they let a pirate vote in the Haitian election?

A: Remember, the nation was taking its first halting steps toward democracy, and balloting procedures were rather chaotic. The pirate just slipped in somehow. Arrr.

Pirates are so cool.

16:24 / 29.04.02

I like the whole Pirate genre, grog and nasty diseases, elaborate clothing and obscene songs. However, I do have to concur with what Tony Millionaire (author of piratey comic strip Maakies) said:
'You will never see any romanticized pirates in any Maakies strip, because of the simple fact that I despise pirates. Pirates were and are murderous raping robbers, and if you read enough history, you will realize that history isn't just some story, it's something that really happened.

"Can you imagine what it must have been like to be a 15-year-old kid, on your first voyage, trying your best not to get the ship sunk, and then you look on the horizon and there are some pirates. They don't take you to some buried treasure or give you some rum, they don't have a patch on their eye, no parrot, no peg-leg, they just climb on board your ship, beat the shit out of the crew, rape any women they find on board and then they kill you.
Does this mean that two hundred years from now carjackers will be romanticized and Disneyland will have a 'Carjackers of Urban America' ride?"

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