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Underground > Creation >

1st Annual Ninjas vs. Pirates Volley Ball Tournament

  
  

Page: (1)23

 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
10:25 / 26.04.02
Round 1:

Ninjas refuse to tell Pirates where game is to be held. Pirates raid Ninja coastal town, burn it down, get drunk. Ninjas sulk, hiss.

Final Score: Ninjas 1, Pirates, 3
 
 
videodrome
10:37 / 26.04.02
Damn. I thought this should go in the Gathering forum...
 
 
deja_vroom
11:35 / 26.04.02
Round 2:

Pirates start shooting cannon balls to the other side of the court. Ninjas dodge, hide, hiss. It's a bad day for ninjas.

Score: Pirates 3 |Ninjas 1
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
14:07 / 26.04.02
Round 3:
Ninjas schedule match in swimming pool. Pirates can't swim. Ninjas win by default, then get thrown out for bobbing and heavy petting.
Score: Ninjas 4, Pirates 0.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
16:07 / 26.04.02
Round 4:

Pirates set up the court on the beach, prepare to play. Ninjas arrive apparently ready to go. The Pirates serve, and the Ninjas destroy the ball with assorted concealed weaponry. When the referee intervenes, the Ninjas stick odd little pieces of paper with Japanese script on them to his head, and he freezes solid. General mayhem stops play.

Score: No score draw
 
 
Ethan Hawke
16:17 / 26.04.02
Round 5 -

Pirates try to serve ball, but it is punctured by the Pirates' hook-hands. Ninjas attempt to steal several new balls from a sporting goods store, but are trapped inside as the Pirates burn it down.

Score: Pirates 5 - Ninjas 2
 
 
Spatula Clarke
16:40 / 26.04.02
Round 6:

Prior to Round 6, Ninjas poison Pirates' cracker supplies through use of little bits of string and hidden ceiling panels, thus rendering Pirates' mascot unconscious. Pirates respond by spilling Ninjas' gizzards.

Score: Pirates win by default.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
16:59 / 26.04.02
Round 7:

Despite attempts by Pirates to bribe referee, game actually goes ahead. Pirates are drunk, Ninja speed and reflexes superb. Ninjas reject honesty as childishly simple and unworthy of shadow brotherhood.

Score: Ninjas 5, Pirates 0
 
 
Ethan Hawke
17:04 / 26.04.02
Round 8

Midway through the match, a Ninja misses as easy spike. Humiliated, he commits seppuku on the spot. The Ninjas play shorthanded for the rest of the match.

Score: Pirates 5, Ninjas 4
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
18:53 / 26.04.02
Round nine:

Game cancelled due to an orginizational error by the ninjas when it is discovered that the opposing pirate team was made up entirely of ninjas disquised as pirates. Search for actual pirate team ensues. They are found at a nearby brothel, getting drunk and playing grabass with the hookers. When a ninja courier arrives to drag them back to the court, they keelhaul him for fun.

Ninjas win by default.
 
 
netbanshee
21:01 / 26.04.02
Round X:

Due to an illegal Ninja move, a Pirate is halved by a blatant katana strike to the midsection during his volley. In anger, one of the Pirates reveals that he is actually Cap'n Crunch and pelts the opposing team to death with Crunch Berries. The Ninjas are decimated, leaving only Pirates on the court.

Pirates win by Default.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
08:43 / 27.04.02
Round 11:

Pirates drink traditional rum 'n' gunpowder at half time. Ninjas have spiked it with Ninja TNT. Pirates agree flavour is vastly superior. During second half, Pirates are forced to engage in vigorous physical exercise, and one of them burps. Pirates explode.

Score: Ninjas 6, Pirates 3.

(Spirit of bonhommie engendered by Ninja bartending and attractive Pirate fireworks display. Chief Pirate makes Ninja Master honorary Pirate. Ninjas immediately assassinate Master, tournament continues.)
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
10:21 / 27.04.02
Round 12: While attempting to serve, ninjas are distracted by parrot squawking "you're shit... and you know you are". Pirates cheat again, but ninjas don't notice, so entranced are they by the wondrous singing bird.
Pirates win, bringing score to 6/4. With everything to play for.
 
 
Saint Keggers
05:58 / 28.04.02
Round 13

Now in the modern times the pirates use software they've 'pirated' to hack into the banks and steal billions of dollars. They use this money to buy the land the volleyball court is on and turn it into a low rent housing project for wayward pirates. The ninjas, seeing they were foiled again attack the housing project. But the pirates, being the cheap bastards that they are, hired the cheapest contractors to build it so it collapses in on the ninja, killing them all. The pirates then get drunk ad celebrate.

Pirates win by default...de-faulty construction that is!
 
 
Saint Keggers
05:59 / 28.04.02
P.S. Pirates rule! Ninja Suck!
 
 
Tezcatlipoca
07:10 / 28.04.02
Round 14:

Building upon their success with the trapped housing scheme, the Pirates hastily change into paramedic gear and arrive on site to drag the surviving Ninjas from the wreckage and bundle them into suspiciously galleon-looking emergency vehicles.
Said vehicles speed through the streets and down to the waters edge, where they are hastily launched, thus condemning the remaining oriental assassins to a life of rum, plank-walking and buggery.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
09:40 / 28.04.02
Round 15:

As soon as play commences, subsidiary Ninjas sneak aboard Pirate ship and assassinate ship's cat. Pirates overcome with grief. New Ninja Master announces pet-killing out of order, apologises insincerely in sinister fashion whilst stroking new fur collar on robe.

Score: Ninjas 3, Pirates 0
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
12:30 / 28.04.02
Crack team of Ninjas arrives on shore. They fly after the ships carrying the abducted Ninjas and rain Ninja stars (Ninja weapons) down on the unsuspecting pirates.

Meanwhile, the supposedly "captured" Ninjas all leap up with a mighty cry of "FAKEOUT!" and commence to kick the arses of any pirates who try and take shelter below decks. Much flipping out ensues.

Ninjas 6, pirates 0

(PS: Pirates suck.)
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
13:14 / 28.04.02
Round 17:
Ninjas announce next flight is on 'the astral plane'. Pirates unable to access plane so drink specially prepared grog and send their Delirium Tremens in to fight for them. Many ninja spirits crushed by sea serpents and gnashing vengeful porpoises.
 
 
Captain Zoom
15:34 / 28.04.02
Round 18.

Pirates and Ninjas settle their differences and sit down for a cup of tea. One pirate inadvertantly farts, insulting the ninjas and sparking the contest to continue.

Zoom.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
22:04 / 28.04.02
Pirates fall unconcious, felled by their own flatulence, thus becoming vulnerable to resentful adolescent DT monsters. Ninjas levitate above danger zone until gas dissipates. Pirates sit around gibbering stuff e.g.: "The ankles! Arrrr! The dreadful ankles it had on it! Arrrrrr!" until Ninjas get bored and stab them.

Ninjas 4, pirates 0.
 
 
The Return Of Rothkoid
08:57 / 29.04.02
Round 20:

Pirates' chief spiker breaks peg-leg, necessitating substitution for game to continue. Substitute player is giant kraken, who proceeds to eat the ninjas, who believe that a would-be meal presents no legitimage volleyball threat. Pirates win by default.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
09:27 / 29.04.02
Round 21:

Pirates belatedly realise that Ninjas have stolen Round 19 altogether. Ninjas refuse to give it back. Pirates suck air through teeth and look pointedly at Kraken. Ninjas produce crack Ninja Chef Brigade. Play resumes after Ninjas finish impromptu Calamari Sushi.

Score: Ninjas 8, Pirates 2
 
 
Spatula Clarke
09:44 / 29.04.02
Round 22:

Over-enthusiastic Press Gang activities leads to decimation of Pirate team. Ninjas, considering their victory undeserved, promptly fall on their own swords.

Score: Pirates 1, Ninjas 1
 
 
Saint Keggers
17:09 / 29.04.02
Round 23

With everyone dead there's no one left to play...except for The Pirate Ghosts!!!

Pirate Ghosts spike ball to other side of net.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
17:29 / 29.04.02
And at the end of the first half, the scores are...

...too complicated to count.

Points awarded for style bring them to five hundred each.

Moving into the second half with some medical substitutions and all still to play for...
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
17:44 / 29.04.02
Second half delayed somewhat due to pirate inebriation and ninjas being too hard to find.
 
 
cusm
19:03 / 29.04.02
Second half begins, Round 1, Jumping Ninja's serve. Jumping Ninja leaps high into the air and spikes his serve down at the pirates at killing speeds. Ninja teammates skuff up the sand using ninja sekrets of invisibility, so pirates can't see the ball coming. Pirates don't have a chance. Half of Pirate team dead from impact of serves from Jumping Ninja. Ninjas celebrate victory with guitar solos.
 
 
grant
21:03 / 29.04.02
Round two: Ninjas again serve, but at the moment the server is about to set the ball in motion, he disappears beneath the sand. There is a loud splashing, a croaking roar, and a single terrified scream.
The ball bounces out of the hole, smeared with blood.
"Arr," says the pirate team captain. "That'll be the damned Oak Island treasure guardian defense, ye blackhearted Japanese swabs."
 
 
YNH
04:24 / 30.04.02
Round Three: Pirates opening volley includes remarks about “9 ½ Ninjas” with many hooks replaced by incomprehensible puppets. Down three points a ninja saboteur finally fires back “Ice Pirates,” stopping the opposition cold. Sampo robots are no match for the Wonderbread ninja!

Ninjas 5: Pirates 3
 
 
the Fool
06:07 / 30.04.02
Round 4. Pirates serve. With a hidden cannon. Ninja team decimated. Remaining ninja's gather body parts for secret necromatic ritual. Pirates retaliate with much drinking. Game abandoned for one week due to excessive pirate nudity and lewdness.

Ninjas: 5 Pirates: 4
 
 
Spatula Clarke
08:53 / 30.04.02
Round 5:

In a more sedate moment, both teams sit down to play videogame Top Trumps. Realisation that their only memorable appearance was in myth-debunking Monkey Island games causes Pirates to throw toys out of pram. Ninjas smile wryly.

Score: Pirates 1, Ninjas 8
 
 
tom-karika nukes it from orbit
09:18 / 30.04.02
Round 6: Pirates hack video game with cries of
"w3 w1ll ouun JooR BoXen, ph34r w3z skillz, H^H^H^H^H^H^"

Ninjas 0 Pirates Lots.
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
09:45 / 30.04.02
Round 7: Ninjas call pirates "a bunch of script kiddies". Pirates furious; to prove thier mighty haXor skillz, they hack the FBI kid's puzzle page. Pirates arrested in subsequent dawn raid after Ninjas tip off the FBI. Ninjas wait for FBI black helicopters full of sullen pirates to take off, then fly up to cripple 'copters with thier Ninja weapons. Then toast marshmallows over the flaming wreckage.

Ninjas 8, Pirates 0, FBI -100,000,000.
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
10:21 / 30.04.02
Round 8:

Secret Pirate Intelligence corps, formed in the aftermath of the Sushi Fiasco, sneak up on Ninja positions to ascertain gameplan. Pirates squirm, take cover, lurk. Ninjas find this incredibly sweet, get broody - but not that broody.

Ninjas 5, Pirates 0
 
  

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