Smear me on toast or smear me on bread,
It’s obvious that I’ve made a smear in your head!
:P
[eating popcorn and listening to the “Twin Peaks” soundtrack]
I admit I could be very wrong but the 'mod' has never dispelled that notion in either his public or private posts to me and as a matter of fact his one PM to me has strengthened my belief in this.
--Lothar Tupin
I don’t know how you get your interpretations sometimes, Lothar. Do you read via your projections and traumas (like some others seem to have a knack for)? Here is the message I sent Lothar (in full):
“Lothar,
It’s late Saturday night, and I’m just in from an evening hanging out with a couple of friends, it was both stimulating and abrasive. It reminded me, in some ways, of our relation here on Barbelith: I really wish I could have met you when you were in Calgary! I’ve been meaning to drop you a line for awhile, ever since you last posted to the “Mangoin Up…” thread.
To begin, I sincerely apologize for any frustrations I caused you over diZzy. I found it an interesting ride and I really did feel a very magickal event occurring in that thread, but I am willing to admit that it was, in some ways, a personalized performance (this had to do with the way I perceived the board at the time, i.e. I linked to more than merely the “High/Low booby trap” thread); in other words, I think I agree with some of what you say in the Mangoin post: but as for the rest, I never intended it to be that way, honest! The thread developed the way it did as it moved/stood still. To me it really helped me see some things with more clarity, and others did benefit as well. At times, I was under the impression that you were even having fun in your role as Lothifer!  But I think that sometimes I did behave in an erratic or, from some perspectives, inappropriate and irresponsible manner. Again, it was not intended to harm, but it became manifest through the structure, entity, or whatever, that I was attempting to look at and talk about. I don’t know how to explain it better, words fail to express the [?].
I can only hope that you know I sincerely thank you for the role you played in that thread and I am regretful that the thread had its negative fall out (but not necessarily surprised given the nature of the structure, but of course, again, I know this is likely more of my own personal perception of the events). Anyway, I meant you no harm, and apologize for any grievances I caused you. Again, I really wish we could have met, then this would, I feel, all be water under the bridge by now.
So I’m writing you this to tell you that I am not trying to do this to you again (the frustration) over in “magick and mysticism.” Contrary to what Ierne thinks, I was not fishing for [I]your[/I] response or anyone’s response, but only response: we are on a message board, and call and response is the method of communication, ya? What I mean is, I [I]am[/I] playing the devil’s advocate at times in that thread in order to draw out some issues and I am not merely trying to drive you crazy! In other words, I think we complement each other in interesting ways. Um…I’m trying to say that, in some ways, we seem to be on a similar wavelength and I often enjoy what you write. So, I simply wanted to let you know that if you think I’m trying to hound you, I’m not: I think we are foils generating some very interesting discussion at times, and I really don’t think that one of us is right and the other wrong. I don’t know if you understood the terminology of diZzy, but I’d say that your perspective and my perspective are equally (invalid, valid)! Which is to say, like you say, and I do agree, “different strokes for different folks.” I think we work together generating different strokes.
Anyway, I hope we can make some good things happen together now and then, and I want you to know, if it means anything to you, I do sincerely have faith in the fact that you are doing what you can to make the world a better place. I really do desire nothing less than for you to experience the fulfillment of your best of desires.
m3”
So I really don’t see how this PM was intended to cause further discord in this community. It was merely an attempt to recognize that we see the world differently and let you know that, “hey! I’m OK and you’re OK,” kinda’ thing. Of course, you chose not to respond, to which I was mildly disappointed, but c’est la vie, ya? So, it seems to me that you misread this message in some bizarre manner, and I only wish that you had said something to me instead of carrying around this poison inside you. Moreover, I had never intended to draw lines through this community, and in fact, I see us as all part of the same line, but I digress to unacceptable (to some) mathematical metaphor…it appears to me that it was this community which decided to splinter itself around my contributions and in such a way that the lines are sometimes sharper than razor wire. Ierne/Kookla’s continued terror tactics and bullying have only served to string more and more of this wire around, and this thread is merely one more attempt at hir campaign to divide.
Who is it that hurt you so bad in your life, Ierne, that you seek to vomit out your pain onto me? I will not clean up your mess and I will not accept your poison. May Tricks has the situation nicely dialed when she says:
I think there were points where ze could have been more tactful yes, but those were responses to YOU and your persistant antagonizing posts. At first, ze was most polite to you Ierne, but after constant harrasment Mod3 could not meet your bitterness with sweetness no more. This draws the conclusion that you have been picking fights with posters and then draw attention to the last resort, fed up post they made in their fustration with your attacks on them and their ideas.
and also:
This is pathetic behavior. You slam people all the time Ierne and whine when they get fed up and slam you back. You bring these problems on yourself Ierne. Stop slammimg others and maybe you will not be slammed.
Again (again, again) if we look in the threads (such as diZzy, Mangoin’ Up the Magick, Magick and Mysticism) we will see that it is hir who not only starts the shit storm, but drags it on and on and on. I was more than willing to let it go, but Ierne had to cling to hir pain and horror and continue to try to make it everyone’s pain and horror. I tell you what, Ierne, get thee to a good councilor!
Now Lothar also says:
At least he hasn't used the same derogatory names against me that he has Ierne and Mordant Carnival which I found to be borderline misogynistic and offensive.
Ierne deserves all the wrath I have given hir for exactly the reasons that May outlines in her posts above: Ierne appears as a troll (as in a real monster) in sheep’s clothing and, more and more, I feel that s/he continues to reveal who s/he really is by obsessing on my presence here in Litherland. I don’t think, for all hir reasonable contributions to this community (and there are several), that s/he is a very stable person.
As for Mordant, the only “offensive” comment made to her was the “belle of the ball” thing, and again, Lothar, you have totally read this through your dim coloured glasses and blinders; that is, you project your own negativity onto my strings of symbols! The comment was intended to say, “Mordant, you are one of the more popular posters here, and people really seem to dig you.” As my good friend says, “It’s a blast to be the belle of the ball.” So, I don’t know how you get “misogynistic” from my recognition of Mordant’s charm, but I feel it stems from your own prejudices.
[non-linear jump]
Monkies…says:
Mod presents a very strong set of beliefs in...something...and I can't short him for that.
And I say, thank you, My Man Monkies! Part of this incarnation is a drive to nowhere through everywhere. Which is to say, I don’t intend to show you my deck of cards (but occasionally the odd hand) , but rather push people to get more acquainted with their own decks of cards. Or as JM puts it:
RIDE THE SNAKE
A little time out from all this other people’s baggage.
Bear writes:
I'm paranoid enough as it is without thinking that people are laughing at me behind my back...
and I say, Bear, I have always felt a certain fondness for you and I think that we have had some pleasant interaction through this site. It is somewhat shocking to discover that some people here are like hens getting hairdos down at the salon, but people love to gossip and waste their energy and words expressing their own jealousies, insecurities, and issues. Ignore what the other people say because if they are gossiping behind your back it can often mean that you are something that they wish they were but do not have the courage to be. Don’t take other people’s shades and banshees and invite them into your temple for service: leave that at the door and let them say whatever the fuck they want because those sorts of strings of letters aren’t worth much, if anything.
Back to your regularly scheduled carry-on soap.
Ierne puts forth:
You aren't doing yourself or MOB any favors by using this thread to express your personal angst with me; however, it does show those people who might consider joining your coven exactly what they might be dealing with if they cross you.
The earlier fracas with May has been mentioned above, by her, and as far as I know has nothing to do with this particular matter.
It is not a case of Ierne vs modthree.
Which has all the resources and strength of farting in the wind. It has always been a case of Ierne vs. {0, 1, 2}, but you are too caught up in your fear/anger/pain to see this. You have, as you do with May, followed me around and continued to carry this whole outhouse of an argument with you on your back. Get this, you fragile husk of humanity: I AM NOT YOUR MONKEY. You do it to yourself, Ierne, and you remind me of: (a) my friend’s spoiled little four year old niece who has a habit of putting her hands on her hips sticking her nose up at the right incline and saying, “Well actually…” and (b) of my poor brother’s bitch of a fiancee who is pained by having positive and happy people around her, feels that having to be friendly to others is too much of a strain on her energy, and is basically black on the inside. She, like you, has a huge chip on her shoulder, and instead of casting it off, is more content—perversely content—to drag it with her through life. I think that if you had the talents of magick and such that you lay claim to, then you would have laughed all this off before it had even gotten anywhere close to this far.
As far as I can see (and some others who have consulted and/or confided in me) May sums you up with only a small remainder and her operations are bang on: her problems with you, or perhaps better, your problems with her, have everything to do with your motivations for starting this thread. It is simple: you suck, Ierne, you suck giant death dongs in hell! Which is to say, in a jabby-pokey way, and echoing May, you bring these fracases upon yourself, and you create the whiny world you live in. I don’t owe you squadoo, and neither does May, yet we have both discussed ways to try and help you subtlety so you can get off your own back! Of course, I think your walls are very thick, and your shadows very dark.
Also c/o Ierne:
But obnoxiousness and abuse do not equate with free speech.
But if you really feel this way then why are you yourself so obnoxious (at times)?
Her setting up a coven doesn't at all affect the validity of her comments, that's just an ad hominem attack.
--fridgemagnet (on my stove)
As I’ve noted several times in other threads, this is where Ierne goes every time s/he feels threatened or is reminded of whomever it is that has caused hir whatever pain that s/he refuses to let go of. I find it ironic that s/he is hiding behind a veil of starting this thread because others have not confronted me but instead turned to hir via PMs when it is Ierne who has not confronted whatever it is in hir life that causes hir to behave in this “I am the Victim” way.
Also from the fridge:
I've not exactly seen a massive groundswell of support on this thread from all these people that are apparently so pissed off.
[flippancy warning—‘cause I know that some of you need these sorts of markers]
Yeah, where the hell is the party?!? I mean, c’mon I want to meet every one of these pissed off people and give ‘em a big tongue kiss! That’s right babies, pucker up and plant one on me!
[smooch]
And I notice that you can’t answer this criticism Ierne, and that is likely because you are trying to build a castle in the sky…in different words (but words I’ve written before, before, before) you have a problem with me (for whatever cock-eyed reasons) and you keep trying to make it everyone’s problem. You feel wronged (somehow) and you feel that everyone must share in your wrong. NEWS FLASH: even when people care about you your struggles are not theirs, and while your companions may assist you, ultimately it is only you who is able to act in ways to remedy your difficulties. Put differently, stop crying over spilt milk and merely poor yourself another glass, damn it!
And more of fridgemagnet’s magnetic goodness:
I'd rather just judge things from my own perspective.
Now, maybe, merely maybe, that is what a modthread might be about.
His complete lack of respect for the opinions of those who disagree with him and his intellectual bullying make it very hard to want to engage him in discussion.
--Lothar Tupin
Now, more than ever, I am feeling that you are an “…arrogant poster who has been pissed off and is contributing to more discord.” Lothar, I had certain ideas about your strengths and your personality, but I see how far wrong I was. You accuse me of “lack of respect” and “intellectual bullying” and I feel this stems from your own insecurities. Yes, I am sometimes sarcastic and flippant, but it is, more often than not, delivered with a sense of playfulness that you simply don’t pick up on due to your pre(mis)conceptions of what I am about. You have aimed for the bull’s eye and hit the wall. Think for a moment: why would I waste time writing diligently for people I don’t even know or care if I meet only to harass them? If I had no respect for people’s opinions, then why would I write anything? If I was an intellectual bully, then why wouldn’t I merely join a debate club or hang out at cafés or some such junk?
As Runce writes, “The guy has an agenda above and beyond just being irritating, that's obvious. Isn't it?” and this is certainly true—I do have an agenda, and that agenda (not merely here, but life’s work sorta’ stuff) concerns getting people to become more reflective upon their own fears, hatreds, and horrors; that is, I want people to recognize the ways in which they drive the Spectacle further into the sceptic tank and how each and every one of us is guilty to some degree in contributing to a bankrupt world teetering on the edge of oblivion. If you can’t recognize your own prejudices and shadows, then how do you ever expect to assist in coping with those we design through our collective interaction?
I think it is in this way that my role here has often been that of a mirror (which is why some of you may not be able to put me under your thumb, i.e. pin me down). Nobody knows me because nobody truly knows their own reflection.
In closing, thanks for the laughs and the honour of having a whole thread about someone who is no one. I love each of you, even if there is a couple of you that I don’t like.
{0, 1, 2} |
