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How do you know if you're in love?

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The Mr E suprise

05:57 / 28.03.02

Does your heart beat like a fucked clock at the thought of not seeing them ever again?

Does your throat go dry when you see them nude?

Do you think of them so much that you don't notice how much you think about them?

Is theire favourite feature still a favourite feature at 3 o clock in the morning when the baby/cat/car alarm/ maniac with a chainsaw is in full swing?

Morlock - groupie for hire

15:43 / 28.03.02

Maybe you're in love when you stop worrying if you're in love or not.

Maybe I don't know what the hell I'm talking about and should get out more.

Tired.

16:03 / 28.03.02

I think you have a point, Morlock.

People worry too much about putting labels on abstract things. This can be useful, but for a complicated notion like love with all the varied and perhaps conflicting imagery that surrounds it, I'm not certain its essential.

If you are with someone, you are probably asking yourself practical questions. Like, Do I want to live with this person?, Do I want to stay with them for five/ten/twenty years or even "forever"? Do I enjoy their company? Do I feel enriched in their presence? etc

OK, so the questions get less practical and more abstract as yo go on, but the point is that they are to do with specific aspects of your feelings toward the person. Whether they actually tell you if you are in love is another matter. Thing is, is it really important?

pointless and uncalled for

16:05 / 28.03.02

How do I know if I'm in love?

Someone else has gotten there first.

The Apple-Picker

16:25 / 28.03.02

I have different ways of knowing. One of them is when I feel the words "I love you" bubbling up into my mouth over and over without thinking, and the thinking only comes just barely in time to keep from saying them.

Please, no lectures on saying what you feel.

16:30 / 28.03.02

...as someone who's posts often indicate an overly detached, theoretical and comedically academic personality, do you really feel you have much to contribute to a debate on identifying love, no matter how light hearted? – The Planet of Sound

This is a case of ad hominem:

An Ad Hominem is a general category of fallacies in which a claim or argument is rejected on the basis of some irrelevant fact about the author of or the person presenting the claim or argument. Typically, this fallacy involves two steps. First, an attack against the character of person making the claim, her circumstances, or her actions is made (or the character, circumstances, or actions of the person reporting the claim). Second, this attack is taken to be evidence against the claim or argument the person in question is making (or presenting).

Haus' posting style is not related to his capacity to give and receive love.

It's a shame you felt the need to stoop so low to get back at him, PoS.

17:31 / 28.03.02

Um, seeing is that I am now in love for the first time in my whole life, I think my answer to this would be that the universe seems to smile upon you when you are in love. Everything shines with the light of an inner Sun, and there is nothing that you don't feel with the whole of your being.

I'm finding that this wonderful angel says things to me, often, that make me want to jump out of my body: like my spirit is going to "chirp" right into the unknown. And sometimes, like last night for instance, she says something to me and I can actually feel my brain expanding! I thought my pineal gland was going to poke right out of my forehead and take a good look around.

Love: when it's there you have no doubt. If there's doubt, then it's less than love. That's how I'm feeling today, anyways...thanks for asking!

{0, 1, 2}

wembley can change in 28 days

19:01 / 28.03.02

thus spake modthree:
Um, seeing is that I am now in love for the first time in my whole life, I think my answer to this would be that the universe seems to smile upon you when you are in love.

Man, that - and everything else in this topic - is doing me in. I want to be in love!

For other yardsticks, go listen to some showtunes. If the cheese factor of the music is completely overshadowed by the relevance of the lyric, you're probably bitten.

19:25 / 28.03.02

Curse this thread and all it's hellish consequences. I've spent the last eight months happily co-existing with my partner without ever feeling the need to analyse why I was happy, but now feel ignorant for never feeling the need to identify the reasons for said happiness. On reflection, I have a sneaking suspicion that this topic is going to end up as a circular argument as I'm not entirely convinced that there is any single definition of love (or, more specifically, no universal checklist that applies to the populous at large). In my own case, I don't honestly think that my sense of love is really much more complex than my taking satisfaction in the realisation that somebody else loves me for who I am.

Horus lord of force and fire

19:46 / 28.03.02

How can you tell when you're in love? Man you just know.

22:56 / 28.03.02

While Haus' intellectual faculties may not affect his ability to give and receive love, they do appear to affect his ability to give and receive huggles.

23:19 / 28.03.02

OK.. this'll teach me not to skim threads and answer too fast.

First of all, PoS, we're talking about "love" here. Which, by definition is a bit of subjective concept. So you know, it's a little off-putting when someone lays down their concept of love as the one and only - and even worse - denigrates anything anyone else feels as (mere) "lust" (noooo! not THAT!), what sort of reaction do you expect them to get? I mean, seriously?

Secondly, and this is a personal opinion here (love being, again, a subjective concept), your definition of love is one of the most depressing definitions I've ever heard. How dare you say I have to endure night after night with the same person - for an UNTOLD AMOUNT OF TIME! - until I can say I'm in love with them. The whole thing just conjures up horrible images of flannel and wool socks. Yeech.

And uh, sorry yeah, it's a little too simplistic to divide the world into "romantic love" (ie people who are fucking - in their flannel and wool socks)and "parental love" (the people I'm not fucking). I dunno. The world isn't a reflection of myself I know, but I would say my best friend and I have a romantic love, and I know neither he nor I are all that interested in fucking each other. But that's just off the top of my head.

And NICE one with the (totally uncalled for ) personal attack on Flyboy and Haus. You do realize you just kind of shot yourself in the "coherent argument" foot with that one, don't you? I could go on, but those boys can take care of themselves.

But you know?

I only say these things because I LOVE you.

23:24 / 28.03.02

I've spent the last eight months happily co-existing with my partner without ever feeling the need to analyse why I was happy...

Y'know, that pretty much sums up how you know when you're in love as far as I'm concerned. You don't need to ask. When you're with the person in question, everything else just seems to stop. The things that have been on your mind suddenly disappear. And that ache, the one you get when you're not with hir... it goes. Cliche alert: the bits that were missing are filled in.

It's like you're a jigsaw puzzle. It's basically complete, but a couple of pieces have been put in the wrong place, forced down so that on first glance it looks like it's finished, but looking closer you can see where the thing's starting to buckle. Then SHe comes along, pulls the two misplaced pieces out and corrects the mistake, and everything fits perfectly. That's how it works with all kinds of love; romantic, familial, um, love for a pet horse... struggling now...

Bleurgh. I can't believe I just typed that.

Now, if somebody can come up with the answer to the question "how do you know if someone's in love with you?", then we can have Peace In Our Time.

23:25 / 28.03.02

Oops. Let's pretend I meant that all to be in bold text. I'll get used to this rassin' frassin' board soon...

21:55 / 04.08.07

So I decided I wouldnt walk away from her again without telling her how I feel and never saw her face again. Thats how that turned out.

01:45 / 10.08.07

Ouch! That's sad.

Akira, any particular reason you bumped this thread after 5 years?

Nevertheless, I think all these thing about destroying your internal walls, daring to be vulnerable, focusing on the happiness of your love-interest, ... say a lot about about "being in love".

[ Linguistic side note: my mother tongue and some other languages use an adjective for the situation of "feeling a romantic interest for someone and usually wanting to start a relationship involving physical intimacy (i.e. sex and beyond)" (my short ad hoc definition for "being in love").

e.g. :
verliefd zijn (Dutch)
être amoureux/amoureuse (French)
verliebt sein (German)
estar enamorado/enamorada (Castilian aka Castellano. [better known as Spanish but this is not 100 % correct since there at least 13 native languages spoken in Spain. Castellano, Català, Gallego, Euskari being the 4 major ones] )

These adjectives express romantic love (which can incorporate feelings of lust) but are not used for the feelings of affection between good friends and/or relatives. So you can say: "Ik ben verliefd op een meisje/Je suis amoureux d'une fille/Ich bin in ein Mädchen verliebt/Estoy enamorado de una chica" but if you want to express love for your parents it would be "Ik hou van mijn ouders/J'aime mes parents/Ich liebe meinen Eltern/Amo mis padres".

In English the distinction lies in the "being in"-bit. (or that's how I understand it). Any thoughts on this? ]

02:07 / 10.08.07

Akira;

I can see, I think, why you might feel a bit down.

For consideration of how much worse it might have been, though, I'd invite you to listen to 'Stars' by Simply Red.

All the way through.

(You've got to the end, and perhaps things seem a bit better? If not listen again. Eventually, put the thing in the bin.)

13:24 / 10.08.07

No reason to bump really, just looking through all my old posts and realising how much I've changed. Hopefully this thread will disapear. Soon. lol

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