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Underground > Conversation >

How do you know if you're in love?

  
  

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Johnson Chong
09:17 / 25.03.02
It's must have been love, but it's over now.......play this song of Roxette in your head......
 
 
Cherry Bomb
09:17 / 25.03.02
You can't really break down love into an analytical equation (fortunately and unfortunately). You either feel it or you don't.

Sounds to me like you're feeling in love. Why don't you just go with it? Maybe later you'll decide you're not. 'Sok, I say.

I fall in love all the time, but, then i'm kind of in love with the idea of love.

Oh Christ, I'm a goddamned hippie.

Anyway, go with it, touch her there, do whatever and just see where it ends up, big guy. Ain't nothin' to lose, really.

Oh, and I think you mean "How do you know if YOU'RE in love," but love is notoriously damaging to spelling abilities..

[ 25-03-2002: Message edited by: Cherry Bomb ]
 
 
deja_vroom
09:17 / 25.03.02
usually the taste of broken glass in my mouth is a giveaway. oh, and the thorns between the ribs.
 
 
bitchiekittie
10:32 / 25.03.02
figure out what your priorities are, what affects you when you care for someone.

me, I dont normally fight with my close friends and the people I love - but the man Im in love with me makes me furious on a regular basis. I want someone who can make me think, on a level that I normally dont get to on my own. he does that, nearly every time we talk. Im also all about the touching - I ache to burrow into his warmth when Im happy or sad or lonely or libidinous. when he said hed be here in a week I lost a few tears. thats how you know - theyll affect you in a way that surprises you, pleases you, frightens you
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
11:02 / 25.03.02
The joy that they bring you is far greater a joy than you have ever experienced before and the pain they cause is worth it for another moment spent with them.

That's how it works for me.

I could offer up additions to the endless list of questions but with such an extreme abstract as love I doubt they could ever be held as conclusive.

If you're wondering if you love someone then there's a good chance that you do. If asking questions like the ones above and the infinite other questions that could have been offered seem to provide no answers then I would be willing to say that you are fairly much set.
 
 
Utopia
09:33 / 26.03.02
quote:Originally posted by Arthur Sudnam:
Is she all right w/taking a dump while you're in the same room brushing your teeth?


the real question is: are you all right with brushing your teeth while she's in the same room taking a dump? for me, no way! guess i've never been in love. or maybe i just don't want poopie germs floating onto my toothbrush.

[ 26-03-2002: Message edited by: M. Utopia ]
 
 
Spatula Clarke
09:43 / 26.03.02
Are you experiencing sensations of jealousy, self-absorption, self-doubt and abject fear?

Are you boring those closest to you in a pathetic attempt to improve your own self-image?

Are you frequently debasing yourself in order to gain hir attention?

Are you aware of the fact that, once the dust has settled on this affair and you're left with nothing, you will be that much more self-obsessed, pathetic and ridiculed than you were at its inception?

Finally, do you realise that regardless of all these negatives you are destined to do it all over again at some point in the future?

[ 26-03-2002: Message edited by: E. Randy Dupre ]
 
 
bitchiekittie
10:43 / 26.03.02
quote:Originally posted by M. Utopia:
maybe i just don't want poopie germs floating onto my toothbrush.

again, starting my morning off right at barbelith....
 
 
bitchiekittie
10:49 / 26.03.02
...can that be a new t-shirt idea?
 
 
The Planet of Sound
10:57 / 26.03.02
You know you're in love when you've spent several years in that person's company, have woken up with them many times, and enjoy the thought of continuing to do so. Anything else (with the possible exception of the love of a parent feels for his or her child)is lust, obsession or delusion, and doesn't deserve the word 'love' grafted on to it.

And don't go getting all pissy when you're dumped, either.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
11:22 / 26.03.02
So, er, just how many years of happy cohabitation does one need to endure before it qualifies as Planet of Sound-endorsed official proper genuine real McCoy love with a capital TWART?
 
 
Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?
11:27 / 26.03.02
quote:Originally posted by The Planet of Sound:
You know you're in love when you've spent several years in that person's company, have woken up with them many times, and enjoy the thought of continuing to do so. Anything else (with the possible exception of the love of a parent feels for his or her child)is lust, obsession or delusion, and doesn't deserve the word 'love' grafted on to it.



So how many years does that have to be, Planet? You know, before you are officially in love and get your badge? How about if you are living apart but phone a lot? Do you get, like, half a year's credit per year?


And do you absolutely have to fuck each other? Only I was of a mind to say that I loved my mother, but since I'm not her parent, she's not my child and I don't think I've ever shoved my cock right up her, I guess that was a mistake...
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
11:29 / 26.03.02
My, how tasteful.
 
 
deja_vroom
11:32 / 26.03.02
(edited out cos I was betrayed by my knowledge of the idiom)

[ 26-03-2002: Message edited by: Jade's Tricks ]

[ 26-03-2002: Message edited by: Jade's Tricks ]
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
11:33 / 26.03.02
Give him a break, that's what he always does.
 
 
Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?
11:37 / 26.03.02
quote:Originally posted by Jade's Tricks:
POS didn't say it was the OFFICIAL and only way of knowing you're in love.]

Actually, he did. He said "you know you're in love" - the you being universalising.
 
 
deja_vroom
11:37 / 26.03.02
actually, hetero, the "anything else" part on POS's post triggered their reaction. that's why I edited out my post.
 
 
deja_vroom
11:40 / 26.03.02
First I thought you were plainly twisting POS's intents, but his "anything else is lust" bit might have done it for you. Still, too much ado about nothing, huh?

[ 26-03-2002: Message edited by: Jade's Tricks ]
 
 
Fist Fun
11:42 / 26.03.02
Definitions of love are obviously a personal thing. I'm not sure if it is really fair to pounce on those who don't share yours or to expect lots of 'IMHO' style disclaimers with every post.

[ 26-03-2002: Message edited by: Buk ]
 
 
Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?
12:00 / 26.03.02
Ah, but if you are going to offer one which clearly excludes certain forms of love, e.g the love held for mother by a doting son, or a sister for a brother, then it's pretty much inevitable that someone may inquire as to why.

So, wisdom of heterodox, I am in fact not twisting words, I am merely drawing attention to certain failings in PoS' hypothesis that the only "real" love is that engendered by lengthy physical proximity and the desire for more. Buk, as a hypothesis it is open to examination.

Ah, the Conversation....
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
12:03 / 26.03.02
My mistake, he should have far more implicit in his description.

Of course the intent seemed fairly evident but then again, maybe I'm more perceptive than you are.

Somehow I doubt it though.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
12:11 / 26.03.02
PoS's description of his idea of being 'in love' would have been fine as part of the discussion, and within the parameters of the thread as stated in the title. I don't know why he added the part about parental love for children - seems irrelevant here, and the phrasing was bound to bring ordure down on his pointy bonce.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
12:13 / 26.03.02
Seemed somewhat unnessecary but then again, thats my HO.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:18 / 26.03.02
Um, look, I don't know where all this stuff about parent/child love came from, because it seems to me that PoS did actually make it clear he wasn't talking about that - my objection stems from the fact that even if he was talking about romantic/sexual love, he's excluding anything else other than his own definition, and thus talking crap...
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
12:29 / 26.03.02
I meant that he said, in effect, that any kind of love apart from his definition of cohabiting partnership and a parent's love for his/her child was lust etc - hence perhaps Haus's comment.
 
 
Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?
12:45 / 26.03.02
preee-cisely. And thus that if I wanted to love someone truthfully and correctly who was not my child, my only other option was to follow the precise paradigm laid down - PoS was obviously not talking only about sexual or romantic love, as he took time out to point out the exception to this in the parent-child paradigm. And, therefore, that every kind of relationship other than that of a parent's feelings for its child must involve waking up together or it is not love. Which is, as I jokingly pointed out, going to make a sincere Mother's Day something of a stretch.

I think Fly and I identified two different sorts of fatuity in the statement.
 
 
Ganesh
12:49 / 26.03.02
Problem: writing to my younger sister in Australia and unsure whether to sign my letter 'With Lust', 'Obsession' or 'Delusion'. Any advice, PoS?
 
 
The Planet of Sound
13:07 / 26.03.02
Kind Regards?

Hornet's nests and shitty sticks. When will I learn? Nice to have your words over-analysed, though. I'd hoped the addendum about not getting pissy when dumped might have made my tongue in cheek remark more obviously that, but obviously not.

When I was seventeen I imagined myself to be in love. I was not. I, as I suspect many is the case with many others, didn't know the meaning of the word. I carried that around, like the fool I am, for a number of years, and caused myself and others a fair amount of pain. That's all. People use the term 'love', when embarking on short-lived, obsessional and ultimately destructive relationships, more than they should, and the starter of this thread reminded me of my younger self. I could have done with similar advice.
 
 
The Planet of Sound
13:12 / 26.03.02
quote:Originally posted by Derelict Haus on Cottontail Street:


I think Fly and I identified two different sorts of fatuity in the statement.

Fly and Haus having the loving relationship of the fat bully in the pub and always smaller lapdog, egging him on. 'Kick him, Dave...'.

Haus, as someone who's posts often indicate an overly detached, theoretical and comedically academic personality, do you really feel you have much to contribute to a debate on identifying love, no matter how light hearted?
 
 
The Natural Way
13:15 / 26.03.02
Don't be silly.

I know it's nasty having them pounce on you, but don't be silly.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:15 / 26.03.02
That's it, Planet, when all else fails, paint me as Haus' boy wonder and suggest he is not capable of love. Saves you having to explain the vast discontinuity between dispelling teenage notions of unrequited love, and what you actually said in your original post, doesn't it?

[ 26-03-2002: Message edited by: Flyboy ]
 
 
Ganesh
13:16 / 26.03.02
quote:Originally posted by The Planet of Sound:
...short-lived, obsessional and ultimately destructive relationships

That ol' Montague/Capulet lust-thang, eh? Seriously, though, none of these qualities necessarily negates the presence of love - does it? Variants thereof?

Your last statement didn't leave much room for analysis, PoS, let alone over-analysis - and as a piece of throwaway 'tongue-in-cheek', I'm afraid it just didn't work...
 
 
The Planet of Sound
13:18 / 26.03.02
That'll be why I've never made it as a writer, then.
 
 
Ganesh
13:53 / 26.03.02
Possibly.
 
 
Reason
00:27 / 28.03.02
originally posted by Panarchy:
"I found the love experience scary but ultimately rewarding. It is probably different for every body, but for me it was the process of pulling down certain walls within myself, becoming totally vunerable and trusting somebody else completely. Being prepared to take the risk of being hurt. I believe love has a certain totality to it, giving yourself completey to another. There are no half way measures."

Agree wholeheartedly. Trust, total trust, no walls, they are your safe place. Can't imagine your life without them in it. Don't want to imagine your life without them in it.
Remember that exercise in drama, where you would have to close your eyes and fall backward to be caught by a classmate? Like that, but with your life.

And you do it.

Willingly.

And so do they.

Reason.
 
  

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